Dr. Glaucomflecken
@DGlaucomflecken
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Ophthalmologist. Comedian. Speaker. Tiktok. Contact: [email protected] Bluesky: https://t.co/XXBQPt82Qg
Joined May 2016
We’re coming to Portland, OR for our next live show July 20th! Actually, we live here so just driving across town for it, which means I can bring more costumes. Anyway, come on out!
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Honestly my take away from this chart is that donuts are healthier than I thought.
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My technician leaves me notes about things I should know before I enter a patient’s room. I think my technician needs a raise.
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Me: Hi yes I’d like a large coffee please. Europe:.
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This is great but I didn’t reveal anything. I just summarized the US health insurance business model.
Doctor reveals insurance companies want you to ‘die as quickly as possible’
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When I was accepted to med school in 2008 I told my mom, a life long tennis fan, that I would take her to Wimbledon one day. Last year, she was diagnosed with a high grade liposarcoma, which raised the Wimbledon urgency a bit. Radiation, multiple surgeries, and my own cardiac
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It’s so incredibly none of our business.
Damar Hamlin refuses to disclose what his doctors think caused his heart condition. Interviewer: "You're 24. Peak physical condition. You can run circles around me. How did doctors describe what happened to you?". Damar Hamlin: “Umm, that’s something I want to stay away from”
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An American experiences universal health care
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Remember, pepper spray is oil based. If you get sprayed DO NOT rub your eyes. Immediately blink as much as you can to wash out some of the oil with your own tears. Then, wash your eyes with baby shampoo or dilute dishwashing soap and rinse copiously. Water alone won't do much.
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This is possibly the greatest moment for glasses in Olympic history.
STEPHEN. NEDOROSCIK. The routine that clinched @USAGym's first Olympic medal in the men's team final since 2008 🥉. 📺: @NBCOlympics & @peacock. #ParisOlympics .
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If this app goes away, I’ll always remember the good times we spent together as well as the 30-50 feral hogs that ran into that guys yard within 3-5 min of his children playing.
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I got vaccinated for the same reason I chose ophthalmology as a profession: I didn’t want to end up in the ICU.
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The human brain is incredible. It’s capable of both engineering a life saving mRNA vaccine and deciding that anti-parasitic cattle paste is a better option. Just unbelievable range.
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The NFL has to cancel this game. Please. Every player on that field is now a cosurvivor of a horrifying medical trauma. They need to be with loved ones, not playing football.
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(Sitting alone at hotel bar in Seattle). Drunk 22 year old: yo bro do I know you?. Me: Are you a doctor?. Drunk 22 yo: nah I’m a bartender from Pensacola. Me: I don’t think we know each other. …. …. Drunk 22 yo: Broooooooooo you’re that Jonathan dude.
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This is awesome. Many children with glasses are told they can’t play certain sports. They are not even given the opportunity to try. To see an athlete at the top of his sport proudly wearing glasses is so important. Representation matters.
a really, really special moment as @GymnastSteve got to meet (and give pins to) a young fan with the same eye condition as him 🫶
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I am a 6 foot 4 fast walker who routinely annoys family members with my fast walking. This morning, a 5 foot 6 woman in a pant suit effortlessly glided past me on the sidewalk in NYC. I was left bewildered.
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Amazes me that people still don’t get it. Health insurance companies don’t care about you. They want to extract money from your healthy body until you are no longer healthy, then they want you to die as quickly as possible so they can focus on other money producing bodies.
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Imagine winning a gold medal at the Olympics then next week you’re on rounds with a nephrologist answering questions about free water deficit
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I’ve had some people ask if I would make a video about the roe v wade news. I’m not going to. I don’t see the humor, I don’t want to look for the humor. Right now it’s all anger and sadness, so I’ll just be here to support all of you in anger and sadness.
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Last 48 hrs Ive been hearing all the reasons why universal health care in other countries sucks: high taxes, wait times, lower pay. All due respect to these problems, but we have system designed to make a handful of corporations immense profit by denying medical care to everybody.
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We get it cardiologists, you’re better than us
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I really need people to understand the eye is an organ, like the brain, heart, and kidney. It’s a very delicate organ. Don’t do this. Don’t fuck with your organs.
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Hanging out with the hospital pharmacist part 2
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My favorite criticism I’ve received about my pro-vaccination content is that I’m fear mongering. You’re damn right I’m fear mongering. We should all be fucking terrified. I will continue to monger as much fear as possible. We’re 6 weeks from me showing up in an ICU to do an ECMO.
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Why is dental coverage not funded by Medicare? Americans over 65 are the age group with the lowest rates of dental insurance coverage. Medicare covers most other preventive care. Why not dental?.
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Twitter is done. I'll now be posting my videos in EPIC secure chat.
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Please look at my beautiful bespectacled boy
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This is Roger, the nurse who took care of me in the ICU. My first memories after my arrest are Roger sitting with me for hours just talking with me. Asking me about my life, my family. I’m convinced that this helped me regain normal cognition, forcing me to think and remember.
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Had an appt with my cardiologist. He came in with 2 med students. They were asked to assess my jugular vein. It was very quiet so I asked how my a wave was doing. The cardiologist looked befuddled and said, “you know what that is?” and I said no and we all laughed and laughed.
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Since the cardiac arrest, every time my kids do something sweet like climb into my lap to watch a campfire, I feel this relief that I’m still here to experience that moment. It feels happy and sad, if that makes sense. Not sure how long that feeling will last, maybe forever.
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Boy did I have a wild last few days. Monday night I had a cardiac arrest while sleeping. My wife noticed I was breathing funny, checked my pulse, didn’t have one and started compressions. EMT arrived and shocked me.
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For all the protestors, pepper spray is oil based. If you get sprayed DO NOT rub your eyes. Immediately blink as much as you can to wash out some of the oil with your own tears. Then, wash your eyes with baby shampoo and rinse copiously with water. Be safe.
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Look, I know I have to maintain a certain level of professionalism as a doctor, but there are grown ass adults eating large quantities of industrial grade, anti-parasitic cattle paste and as a comedian, I have a responsibility to my craft.
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I want people to understand how impressive this is. Those are 10-0 nylon sutures closing an irregular corneal laceration. The cornea is ~550 microns thick. That is precise work. Vision saved. Well done!.
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Glaucomflecken general hospital welcomes a new faculty member
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Spent the week with my mom. Radiation and multiple surgeries for a high grade liposarcoma left her unable to sit for the better part of 8 months. Now here she is, sitting and cancer free.
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@ateenyalien I just know somebody walked by and ruined the shot and she had to film her grief all over again.
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Today was an important day for me. My first day back in the OR since my cardiac arrest on May 11th. 7 wks ago, we didn’t know if I’d survive, much less perform eye surgery ever again. 7 wks later, I can do everything I could do pre-arrest, except win an argument with my wife.
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Couple things about vision insurance. It’s mostly used for glasses/contacts and routine exams for people with perfectly healthy eyes. Also, it’s dumb. Why would the most important disability accommodation in human history not be covered by medical insurance? Makes no sense….
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Me trying to fix healthcare with a series of devastating TikToks
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Had a patient tell me he if he’s gonna get COVID, he hopes it’s soon because he already met his deductible. Nice little health care system we got ourselves here.
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Good morning, we’re with general surgery, did you have a bowel movement overnight?
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Maybe it’s because of my cardiac arrest, but I don’t understand why patients get upset when I say their symptoms are due to aging. 95% of what I diagnose is because we get old. I always bring it up as delicately as possible, but like do you know how lucky you are? I see patients.
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Hanging out with the infectious disease specialist
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We sent the kids off with grandparents last night so Kristin and I could have a night out. About 30 minutes later my mom sent us this photo with no explanation.
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