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Cory Helie Profile
Cory Helie

@CoryHelie

Followers
913
Following
21K
Media
765
Statuses
11K

Ratio Comedy Wednesdays @ 8.

Denver - Nebraska brasied🥩🌽
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
6 years
"Do you cook what @TheRock is smelling?" - Duane The Health Inspector Johnson
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@Prest0nT0mpkins
Preston Tompkins
1 year
New episode of Weakend Update podcast with @TotallyAllen @CoryHelie @zachreinert0 and John Dahlgren!
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@Prest0nT0mpkins
Preston Tompkins
2 years
New episode of Weakend Update podcast out everywhere! @zachreinert0 @GeoffreyTice @CoryHelie @KickHolland
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
2 years
A US funded Israeli airstrike on a Gaza school killed thirty in Palestine. Even in the summer, the US finds a way to make sure some schoolchildren die.
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
2 years
Hunter is excited for Jade Cargill to come. #SurvivorSeries #wwe
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@maxfine_
max fine
2 years
Mr. Steal yo Gurt
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@NebraskaMegan
Senator Megan Hunt
2 years
This. The youth are truly not bothered.
@AriDrennen
Ari Drennen
2 years
It's important not to lose sight of how much of the anti-trans "movement" is just angry adults bullying children whose peers will not
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@zachreinert0
zach reinert
2 years
I bet Church’s Chicken only calls themselves that to try to get out of paying taxes
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@missmayn
ally
2 years
it’s wild how super conservative catholic countries like northern ireland and mexico keep expanding abortion access while in the U.S. we’re passing laws so pregnant women can get chased by bounty hunters.
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@goffokk
geoff brent
2 years
I love Jeff Rosenstock so much but restarting the merch cut discourse is borderline unforgivable.
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
I don’t know what the fuck this website is anymore but here is a show I love and am on in one week! https://t.co/4TyROO8XfX
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
Me to my son… Are you crying? I’ll give you something to cry about. (Hands him paperback copy of All The Pretty Horses.)
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@RoyceIsaacs
Royce Isaacs • ロイスアイザックス
3 years
No hair, who dis?! 🔊🔊🔊 Vid by @CoryHelie
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
FEAR BONERS are just PETRIFIED WOOD.
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
I wish my wife would put her name on the ‘honey do’ list.
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
Sometimes I shove pineapple in my penis so my breath smells like semen.
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
Was Phil Hartman on NewsRadio or Just Shoot Me?
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
“Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots and ruined your black guy affair.” - racist Garth Brooks
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
Crud. I used 1/4 a cup of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos @MountainDew and it tastes so bad. I blew it!!! What would have been the better substitute, @Maruchan_Inc ?? @ChesterCheetah
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@CoryHelie
Cory Helie
3 years
Dearest @Maruchan_Inc can you send me a packet 1. This spicy miso ramen was missing packet 1. Or what can I use at home to substitute? Love you!
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@JoJoFromJerz
Jo
3 years
Republicans will force a 10 year old to carry her rapist’s baby to term, let a 6 year old carry a gun, permit a 12 year old to work an 8 hour shift in a meat packing plant and allow a grown man to marry a 14 year old with a Judge’s consent, all while telling us that the reason
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