Cory Helie
@CoryHelie
Followers
913
Following
21K
Media
765
Statuses
11K
Ratio Comedy Wednesdays @ 8.
Denver - Nebraska brasied🥩🌽
Joined May 2009
"Do you cook what @TheRock is smelling?" - Duane The Health Inspector Johnson
1
1
17
New episode of Weakend Update podcast with @TotallyAllen @CoryHelie @zachreinert0 and John Dahlgren!
1
2
6
New episode of Weakend Update podcast out everywhere! @zachreinert0 @GeoffreyTice @CoryHelie @KickHolland
0
4
8
A US funded Israeli airstrike on a Gaza school killed thirty in Palestine. Even in the summer, the US finds a way to make sure some schoolchildren die.
0
0
1
I bet Church’s Chicken only calls themselves that to try to get out of paying taxes
0
2
7
it’s wild how super conservative catholic countries like northern ireland and mexico keep expanding abortion access while in the U.S. we’re passing laws so pregnant women can get chased by bounty hunters.
16
165
826
I love Jeff Rosenstock so much but restarting the merch cut discourse is borderline unforgivable.
0
1
3
I don’t know what the fuck this website is anymore but here is a show I love and am on in one week! https://t.co/4TyROO8XfX
0
0
0
Me to my son… Are you crying? I’ll give you something to cry about. (Hands him paperback copy of All The Pretty Horses.)
0
0
2
Sometimes I shove pineapple in my penis so my breath smells like semen.
0
0
2
“Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots and ruined your black guy affair.” - racist Garth Brooks
0
0
1
Crud. I used 1/4 a cup of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos @MountainDew and it tastes so bad. I blew it!!! What would have been the better substitute, @Maruchan_Inc ?? @ChesterCheetah
0
0
1
Dearest @Maruchan_Inc can you send me a packet 1. This spicy miso ramen was missing packet 1. Or what can I use at home to substitute? Love you!
1
0
1
Republicans will force a 10 year old to carry her rapist’s baby to term, let a 6 year old carry a gun, permit a 12 year old to work an 8 hour shift in a meat packing plant and allow a grown man to marry a 14 year old with a Judge’s consent, all while telling us that the reason
4K
25K
105K