Smitty Werbenjagermanjenson
@ChiddenxNuddet
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Following
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Media
38,236
Statuses
362,272
Ain’t shit funny but everything is funny
Johto Projects
Joined March 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I don’t jack off
I jack in 😤
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Baby: "m...m..m..."
Mother: "Go on! Say it! Say mama!"
Baby: "m...my pleasure"
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He prolly smelled him
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Me to my wife:
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Until an Anaconda snatches yo ass outta the bed
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Unfortunate injury, but this fit goes ridiculously hard
Browns TE David Njoku, who suffered facial burns this weekend, arrives at Browns Stadium in a full on mask.
Njoku is expected to try to play.
(via
@ESPNCleveland
)
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"It be ya own niggas"~Papa John
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Bro sacrificed half of his HP to increase his attack stat only to get slumped
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Me using my powers to go back to 2006 to fight the stingray that took out Steve Irwin
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Happy Mother Fucking Black History Month
the man who created the “Super Soaker” Lonnie Johnson was awarded $72.9M In Hasbro Settlement for unpaid royalties. The super soaker is the worlds best selling toy. (2013)
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Nobody:
Jehovah’s Witnesses getting ready to knock on everyone’s door because of the coronavirus quarantine:
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Dash realizing he was really HIM was one of the greatest moments in a Pixar movie
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This about to be the best sleep EVER
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Where y'all got gas at for $2.21 a gallon?
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On this day, let's not forget one of the cleanest Easter suits of all time
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Folks coming back to work from covid after being quarantined for only five days
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Daft Punk ending their career so Bobby Shmurda could be released
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Dangling a sha boingboing to the camera point blank is a federal offense
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Because nobody wants to see that nigga get clapped again for the 5th time
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She might as well call it a night once I start hitting this pose
Bowling dates are not for fun they are to establish dominance
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Bro said
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“Lemme tell ya somethin, America...”
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And?
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The Stock Market when it saw who is making money off of them today
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It’s time to remind the TL about the greatest NFL performance of all time
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The Atlantic Ocean:
Five Guys really hit the spot ong, I'm so full rn 😩
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This the fit imma wear when André 3000‘s album drops tonight
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I am.
Soon as your leg curl behind you, I’m going home. Who do you think you are?
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Imma be mad af if I die this week
We waited 14 years for the new incredible movie to come out and now we’re 1 week away from finding out what happened after this.
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He licking his fingers off of some grapes like he was eating some ribs LMAOOOOOOOOOO man RIP John Witherspoon
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Me to her on the first date
They’re opening a basketball version of Top Golf called Jumpshot Live👀🏀🔥
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Anime has been the shit. Niggas just getting on it now because some celebs mentioned it
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Dr LeBotnik
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Nobody:
Me using dark mode on Twitter:
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Because he was a dude playing a dude that’s disguised as another dude
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Avengers: "We've lost our closest friends along with half of the planet's population."
Scott Lang:
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Billy Ray Cyrus and Lil Nas X on that Old Town Road Remix
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This happened last month but it feels like it happened over a year ago
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Imagine hitting niggas with this filled up with Lake Lanier water
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Adding “of Nazareth” behind it makes it 50000 x harder
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*for her
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My neighbors gonna be mad at me once that new André 3000 drops tonight because imma be playing along with him
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LET’S GOOOOOOOOO
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Got them beareolas
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Me after I dipped the mangoes in the waters of Myrtle Beach
Y’all remember when Rihanna had people dipping their mangos in the ocean
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They're gonna shoot the chocolate ice cream
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I thought she was gonna launch his ass down the lane
This video just made my night 🥺🥰🤗🥳
🎳🤗🎳😃🎳🤪🎳😁🎳🤗🎳🥳🎳
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Nigga that's Piccolo's Special Beam Cannon
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He got that shit the fuck on
Once again I am thinking about Al Roker dressed as Charlie Brown
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Ray Lewis preparing for his role after reading his script for the 1999-2000 season
Former NFL player arian foster admits NFL is literaly rigged
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The leg locked Timbs got me weak as fuck
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Thanos: I am inevita-
Iron Man: *Air HK (holds up and diagonal) LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP~LP~MP~LK~HP*
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I think they all suck
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Spread cheeks on the spreadsheets
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Knuckles digging for Chaos Emeralds in Wild Canyon
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Imagine being the child of Richie Rich and London Tipton
Congratulations to Macaulay Culkin and Brenda Song on the birth of their first child, Dakota Song Culkin, who was born on Monday, April 5! 🍼
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" I'm the typa nigga to stand on bidness."
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Me before I ruin my son’s entire weekend by telling him to help me build a patio for my wife
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Nigga knows over 120 styles of martial arts and still getting pieced up like this
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Me after I hollered out “SUMN WRONG WITH THA PUSSY!!!” in court
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"These edibles ain't shit."
*20 minutes later*
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Me looking at everyone buying Disney+, when they could have used that $6.99 to buy some land
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Nigga was flying the plane like this
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Bro just dropped $15.99 to see some bullshit LMFAOOOOOOOOO
If you gon have an OF, at least put yo heart in it. A lot of yall just be naked with no passion
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MFers scared to moan? I be in a girls ear like
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When a bomb goes off in the middle of a football game at the Gotham City Stadium and it fucks up my parlay
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Disney+: “Are you still watching?”
Us:
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When Yall Put Them Shades On In The Club Who Y’all Pose To Be 😂😂
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Me and my homeboy:
Niggas wake up, get dressed, call they homeboys, go to breakfast, smoke, go to the mall, get outfits, tattoos, leave the mall, smoke again, grab more food, they finally separate… Then come sit in my face looking goofy af. Like you really just took him on a date & don’t see the…
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He got that shit the fuck on
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Me after I name my daughter Ling Xiaoyu
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Me omw to put my Big Mack truck in her little garage
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My friend set me up with a date with her vegetarian friend today, but I'm kinda nervous...
I've never met herbivore.
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THIRTY MINUTES FOR A POT ROAST?!
MY pot roast only took 30 mins to cook why y’all be lying like it take all day 😑
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Sandy:"I love karate!"
Spongebob:"I love kara-tay!"
Mr: Krabs:"I love money-ay!"
Squidward:
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Spongebob Detailed Stills appreciation tweet
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DECADES
King has been a dickhead for decades your tears don’t mean shit to me
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The mugger should have spared Uncle Ben and clapped this nigga’s barber instead
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DK in the black controller?
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That “Ejecto seato, cuz!” line must have really stuck with him all these years later
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