My coworker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn’t try going back to it for 30 years but he finally did and the moment he stepped in someone yelled “Get the hell out of here Dennis” And that’s probably my favorite story ever
I love dive bars so much we just asked for 3 beers and 3 Vegas bombs and the bartender googles the recipe, takes a Vegas bomb with us and we ask how much do we owe you and he ponders it for a bit and goes “I’ll say $$25”
I’m a strong advocate that the Monday after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday. If there’s a holiday because some guy sailed to the wrong country 500 years ago, we can have this one day
My company is exploring the option of working 4 10’s instead of 5 8’s, which is awesome. Hell, I would strap an IV of Red Bull to myself and work one 40 hour shift if it meant that much longer of a weekend
We made the loser of our fantasy league take the ACT and this guy pulls out a 33. Bruv almost went winless and is gonna get a scholarship to Princeton because of it
Dive bars are hilarious, the bartender yelled “Can somebody please play some god damn Buckcherry” and a guy I met tonight gave me the blessing to marry his daughter
I still think New England should not be allowed to be called the Patriots when most of America hates them, they should be called the New England Ass Clowns
I just had to explain to my coworker from Moldova who OJ Simpson was and she was shocked when I transitioned from 143 yards per game to double homicide
A lot can change in a year, a year ago I was focusing hard on studying for finals and today the most I have thought about anything is why the fedex guy was so shocked/excited the soap was blue in the bathroom at work
We waited 15 minutes to ask the live band at Lucky Joes if they could play us a little Hootie and the Blowfish, the immediate “no” was a humbling response
My boss interviewed some guy today and liked him until he saw the stickers on his car, one was a sticker of a middle finger and the other said “Show me your tits.” He did not get hired on
My dad said he thinks he has Covid because he “lost his taste” because he was watching Big Bang Theory and enjoying it. A nicely crafted Dad joke that plays well with the times
I don’t get why girls on tinder don’t reply when I ask them if they want to drink 7 beers and debate the best rock and roll bands of all time. You would think they would
Most single men my age get phone numbers from girls when they go to the bars, I however, end up with the business card of 46 year old men who just moved here from Oregon looking for someone to grab a beer with
We learned a few things tonight:
1. Even the NFL has no clue what a catch is
2. Rob Gronkowski is still pretty fucking good
3. The patriots are gonna win the super bowl, and I’m gonna rip my socks off again