Big Papi
@Bmangall20
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Following
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2022 and 2023 Thursday Night Kickball Champion 🏆🏆 RAV4 owner. RIP Tom Petty
Denver, CO
Joined December 2012
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Pinned Tweet
My coworker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn’t try going back to it for 30 years but he finally did and the moment he stepped in someone yelled “Get the hell out of here Dennis” And that’s probably my favorite story ever
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Paint it Black came on and this guy yelled “THE STONES” so loud. I’m dedicating my Friday night to him
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Speak for yourself brother
Women really think it be some wild shit in mens group chats. Let me tell u, a male only group chat is the most boring shit on earth.
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Major League team is a serious stretch
There is ONE Major League Baseball team in this boundary
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Shower Reuben instagram story is wreaking havoc for those who don’t have Twitter
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I fear my parents dog looks too much like that Japanese guy
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Could be a good fantasy punishment. I will run it by commish
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Submarine stepson check
The return of everyone’s favorite game: What’s the Submarine Stepson up to?
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I thought all 3 of them were Jim Boeheim
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The Polar Express is not realistic because this kid would not have been invited to anything
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I love dive bars so much we just asked for 3 beers and 3 Vegas bombs and the bartender googles the recipe, takes a Vegas bomb with us and we ask how much do we owe you and he ponders it for a bit and goes “I’ll say $$25”
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That’s Orlando Bloom’s dad in the 2nd Pirates of the Caribbean movie
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If your AirPods don’t connect and your music plays out loud in the office you should be allowed to go home for the day
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folks, just pay 7 bucks for Peacock. let’s grow up and stop with the collective temper tantrum
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I thought this was a KFC famous bowl at first
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Me at my TV after an accurate false start call against my team
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Me after responding to one email today
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It looks like she fell off a Lime scooter
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I may not be the best looking or the brightest but I am rated a 4.9/5 as an uber customer so what's up ladies
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Life is too short to write with pens that don’t feel absolutely electrifying when they hit the paper
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Hard to focus on work when you’ve got $3 domestic drafts at chilis with the boys after
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I’ve got a better idea you old dusty bitch
🚨BREAKING:
@SpeakerPelosi
just told volunteers at a breakfast in San Francisco that she will run for another term in Congress.
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The return of everyone’s favorite game: What’s the Submarine Stepson up to?
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I’m a strong advocate that the Monday after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday. If there’s a holiday because some guy sailed to the wrong country 500 years ago, we can have this one day
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I would drink Cornwall Jackson or whatever his name was under the table
Americans are drinking as much alcohol now as in Civil War days, a new report from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has found.
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At that weird age where I have a 401K going but at the same time all my clean clothes are wrinkled because I left them in the laundry basket all week
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Getting older is essentially just knowing you’re getting socks for Christmas but being a little more excited about it every year
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You should visit Pueblo, Colorado then sometime buddy
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"The Rams just scored a touchdown, but it will be a penalty for wearing green pants on the offense" 2nd and 85
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Before football gets in full swing please remember the Colorado Avalanche are still your Stanley Cup champions
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My company is exploring the option of working 4 10’s instead of 5 8’s, which is awesome. Hell, I would strap an IV of Red Bull to myself and work one 40 hour shift if it meant that much longer of a weekend
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@CourtKreidler
Okay we will see if I get a quilts worth. Also need to find someone who knows how to make a quilt
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The tests are all just shots of Malort
REPORT: Caleb Williams is expected to be in Chicago soon and the
#Bears
plan to run multiple different psychiatric tests on him.
(Via ESPN)
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Grandma has been released
Broncos vs Chiefs today. After 8 long years my grandma wants out of the cage but she’s not optimistic today is the day she gets out with a Broncos win
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We made the loser of our fantasy league take the ACT and this guy pulls out a 33. Bruv almost went winless and is gonna get a scholarship to Princeton because of it
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Dive bars are hilarious, the bartender yelled “Can somebody please play some god damn Buckcherry” and a guy I met tonight gave me the blessing to marry his daughter
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I still think New England should not be allowed to be called the Patriots when most of America hates them, they should be called the New England Ass Clowns
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Getting older is basically just sarcastically saying “Nice blinker jackass” more frequently when you drive
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Avalanche vs. Lightning are they playing this thing on the Weather Channel?
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If you buy a ticket to this you should be tossed off a high rise
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That sandwich is straight out of Scooby Doo
No matter what happens the rest of the Lions game, the most impressive thing I’ll see today might be this sandwich
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I just had to explain to my coworker from Moldova who OJ Simpson was and she was shocked when I transitioned from 143 yards per game to double homicide
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I’m pretty sure whenever you see one of these boys, your subconscious will just automatically assume you’re at your grandmas house
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Now that the Super Bowl is over the Rockies have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs
Super Bowl is over; it's baseball season is SO BACK.
We're live in MERE MOMENTS. Join the chat:
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Being tired sucks, but realizing you’re gonna be tired for the rest of your life sucks more
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A lot can change in a year, a year ago I was focusing hard on studying for finals and today the most I have thought about anything is why the fedex guy was so shocked/excited the soap was blue in the bathroom at work
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We waited 15 minutes to ask the live band at Lucky Joes if they could play us a little Hootie and the Blowfish, the immediate “no” was a humbling response
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Greatest villain in cinema? Uhh Val from Brink! would beg to differ
Feathers McGraw, the greatest villain in cinema, was introduced 30 years ago today.
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My Valentines Day is going pretty well, my boss called me handsome twice today. My boss is a middle-aged married man, but still
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They didn’t
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Me showing up every Sunday ready to get hurt again by the Broncos
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I can’t stress how important it is to take advantage of that window when your coffee is not too hot and not too cold
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No one wants to be the guy shotgunning a beer at noon on a Sunday because the Latvian men lost in bobsled. Unfortunately somebody has to be that guy
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My boss interviewed some guy today and liked him until he saw the stickers on his car, one was a sticker of a middle finger and the other said “Show me your tits.” He did not get hired on
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@emelyariasp
@CreoIeBabyBritt
Ha thanks for tagging me. So funny to me people still think about the tweet 5 years later
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@DragonflyJonez
Thought my mom was off to a hot start when she had the comma after Lebron but that was apparently it
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My dad said he thinks he has Covid because he “lost his taste” because he was watching Big Bang Theory and enjoying it. A nicely crafted Dad joke that plays well with the times
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I don’t get why girls on tinder don’t reply when I ask them if they want to drink 7 beers and debate the best rock and roll bands of all time. You would think they would
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Broncos cheerleaders are at this bar right now. I asked one of them out, she said no
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Most single men my age get phone numbers from girls when they go to the bars, I however, end up with the business card of 46 year old men who just moved here from Oregon looking for someone to grab a beer with
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We learned a few things tonight:
1. Even the NFL has no clue what a catch is
2. Rob Gronkowski is still pretty fucking good
3. The patriots are gonna win the super bowl, and I’m gonna rip my socks off again
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