Ben Crew
@BenjaminCrew1
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'Muppets Present The Great Gatsby' writer. Subscribe for weekly Mad Men analysis: crewbenjamin @gmail .com
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Batman: The Silent Motion Picture is being shared again today so I want to let everyone know that the full edit is available on the Internet Archive:
This is kind of cheating, but I edited Tim Burton's Batman (1989) into a silent film and I rewatch it so often. One of my favorite creative exercises I've ever done, speaks to Burton's visual genius that the film still works so well without sound.
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Huge fumble by Disney. National Treasure 3 could have 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and so long as the trailer has Nic Cage say something insane like "FDR's wheelchair isn't just a wheelchair, it's a map" I am there opening night.
Nicolas Cage says ‘NATIONAL TREASURE 3’ is not happening.
“If you want to find treasure, don't look at Disney... it's not there.”
(Source: )
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After Bin Laden was killed, a teacher told us they buried his remains at sea and another kid just nodded and said "Like Megatron"
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When I saw The Dark Knight, someone yelled "NOOO!" when Batman did this
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The Wendy's social media manager who began tweeting as if the brand was a person
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Doing this is the greatest compliment a man over 50 can give a film
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For those keeping track, Twitter is currently in the stage of the Titanic sinking where the band is continuing to play and Billy Zane is running around the ship with a gun
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Cinema has existed for over a century and Dracula has never met a dolphin in any movie.
There are so many stories left to tell.
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Airline attendant: We are now boarding for Group 1 only. I repeat, Group 1 only.
Someone from Group 6:
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Christopher Nolan made Interstellar without Cillian Murphy and the movie is about a man who feels great pain being away from someone named Murphy. They are operating on BFF levels none of us can comprehend.
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Olivia Wilde: Florence Pugh is a force. When you watch this film, you're gonna say "That's Florence Pugh"
Harry Styles: I'm not an actor, I am an actor, you know?
Chris Pine: *Astral projecting to the Swiss Alps*
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Person sitting in front of me during Oppenheimer pulled up his Wikipedia page 15 minutes into the movie
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I want to see a Lord of the Rings workplace comedy where all of the Orcs talk like this
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Usually if a group of writers and actors are united against you that means you are the antagonist of a Muppet movie
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Men will literally become the most famous film director in history instead of going to therapy
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Lots of men felt called out by the Snyder Cut and Godfather jokes in Barbie but personally I have never felt more represented onscreen than by America's husband just vibing at home slowly pronouncing "bolígrafo" to keep his Duolingo streak.
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Every man will momentarily hesitate when scheduling a haircut because deep down he feels that if he grows it out just a little longer, he can look exactly like Aragorn
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Most insane George plot on Seinfeld is when the movie he wants to watch is already rented out so he uses the video store computer to look up who has the tape and then goes to their home.
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Bring back movies where the actors deliver lines like this
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"Lemon, by now you've seen the Mean Girls musical trailer."
"Musical? They didn't sing once."
"No one actually likes musicals, it's called Wonkaing. You advertise all the non-musical parts of the musical."
"Wonka is a musical?"
"Don't let that get out, we can't have a panic."
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Every shot from Succession is filmed like this
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Important filmmaking lesson from this movie. Filming on the water was difficult and demanding but the crew was always kept happy by FOOD.
$2 million was spent on snacks alone and a crew member told me he still dreams of the dinners they had. Feed your crew, keep them happy.
it's been 20 years since cinema has changed forever. happy 20th anniversary of potc: curse of the black pearl!
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A single image of Mr. Ed is more powerful than entire seasons of television made today
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Clayface leaving the house to go fight Batman like he just called in to work on his day off is so funny.
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Lifelong Scooby-Doo fan Tim Curry turning down a role in the Scooby-Doo movie just because Scrappy-Doo was in it is hall of fame hater behavior. Nothing but respect.
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Every job application should have to ask "When would be a good month to release a Haunted Mansion movie?" and if you say "July" you do not get the job.
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I want a kaiju film set in Chicago where the monsters pick up these buildings and eat them like corn on the cob
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Lauren Bacall understood that the most attractive thing a femme fatale can do is get a lil goofy with it
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Casablanca works so well because it's about a love triangle but there's also a 4th guy who would sleep with everyone in that love triangle and he is constantly saying some of the greatest lines in movie history.
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I always forget the part in The Wizard of Oz where they're going to kill the witch and Scarecrow has that heat on him
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When I was 20, I went as Indiana Jones to a haunted trail and a guy called me "Indiana Jews" and then immediately fell and sprained his ankle and was screaming in pain and the scare actors didn't know what to do so a bunch of skeletons dragged him away.
I think about this a lot.
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Brendan Fraser should have already gotten an Oscar for the scene where the Mummy screams at him and he just screams back.
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Coworker who watches 300 new movies a year talking with coworker who watches 3 new movies a year.
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"This Spotify Wrapped thing... it's all very confusing."
"People often feel embarrassed by their music choices."
"Choices? It told me I "seized the day with Upbeat Cottagecore." What the fuck does that mean?
*Tony breathes heavily*
I only listened to Midnights ONCE, you hear me!"
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Felt so bad for this dude.
Imagine showing up to your son's high school football game and he gets killed by Hitler.
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All-timer Seinfeld bit is when Elaine goes insane because Puddy spends their flight just looking at the back of the seat in front of him
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I love on Inside the NBA when Charles is fighting with Ernie or Kenny and then Shaq says something you would hear from a Twin Peaks character
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Interviewer: Obviously, the cast is not here to promote the film due to the strike. Do you consider your presence on the red carpet a scab activity and do you yourself support unions?
College student getting paid minimum wage to dress as Cruella de Vil: WheRE Are MY puppiessss
Disney is having fictional characters walk the red carpet of the world premiere for ‘HAUNTED MANSION’ due to the studio’s inability to give actors fair pay & working conditions.
(Source:
@Variety
)
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Me on the way to get a lil fall morning treat (will spend $87)
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Lots of people discovering Cillian's great performance in Wes Craven's post-9/11 thriller Red Eye (2005) which has one of my favorite villain moments where he just starts clapping when the plane lands and Rachel McAdams makes a face like "This guy is fuckinggg crazy."
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Every presidential photo of the Easter Bunny looks as if we lost a war with him and are surrendering
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"Lemon, during my brief stint as CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery I canceled two movies: Batgirl and Scoob: Holiday Haunt."
"Wow, the scripts must have been terrible"
"No, the finished films were actually quite good."
"They were finished!?!"
"Lemon, have you ever heard of... taxes?"
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His performance remains the most accurate portrayal of greed and evil in Hollywood
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My favorite scene in Fellowship is when Saruman is beating Gandalf's ass so hard he makes him squeak on the floor like a fresh pair of Jordans
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When you're on your 5th "damn, that's crazy" and they're still telling you about how they are become death
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Writers after the studios say they won't negotiate with the WGA again until everyone is out of money
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My dad called the other day and said "What happened to movies where people look like shit? We used to have more of those!" and then I called him and asked if he is going to see Killers of the Flower Moon and he got really excited and said, "Yes, Leonardo looks like shit in that!"
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My most boomer take is that we need more shit like this on TV.
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Warner Bros could get out of any debt they're in if they just started selling these again
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My best friend, who had never seen Y tu mamá también and thought it was just a movie about taking a road trip with a hot lady, has been telling me "We need a Y tu mamá también summer" for months and he finally watched it and text me "yoooooo"
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In 2049, I plan to direct 78-year-old Jon Hamm in the two-hour TV special "Mad Men Returns" where Don Draper ends his advertising career in 2004 by pitching the Quiznos spongemonkeys ad
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Ayo Edebiri would change lives if she played Amelia Bedelia
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The Chicago coffee shop chain Foxtrot closed every store today without warning and I just watched someone try to open the front door, read the permanently closed note taped to the glass, and then yell "MY FREE REWARDS DRINK NOOO" like a Spongebob character
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Ben Stiller only makes $11.50 an hour in Night at the Museum which is $17.40 adjusted for inflation
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Dune: Part 2 opens with Princess Irulan saying this word for word
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Harry Potter lore: Pheromona Poundcake prepared pies most peculiarly (used slaves)
Game of Thrones lore: Tomuglas slept with his sister Rarly who birthed his step-dad Lord Bumm
Lord of the Rings lore: Turnplaff, previously known as Ordog, once spent 400 years smoking weed
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There's a scene where late-40s Cillian Murphy plays Oppenheimer in his early-20s and they just say "He never sleeps. He doesn't eat for shit. Look at this gangly boy" and you totally buy it.
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This is kind of cheating, but I edited Tim Burton's Batman (1989) into a silent film and I rewatch it so often. One of my favorite creative exercises I've ever done, speaks to Burton's visual genius that the film still works so well without sound.
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When you're on your 10th dollarita at Applebee's and Mr. Brightside comes on.
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This is what it felt like to make Vines with my roommates in college
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Shakespeare adapted to modern-day high school comedy is one of the most important art forms we have.
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Ayo Edebiri waking up in a Saw trap: Ooh, uhh, ahh jeez 😐 Mr. Jigsaw, uhh, sir umm 🥴 Jiggy 😳 well, okay I think there's been a BIG misunderstanding here, like a huge one.. Boy this floor is dirty, is that blood?😬
Rachel Sennott: HELPPPPP! I'M TOO YOUNG AND HOT FOR THISSSS!
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It's funny when employees at the dispensary recognize you cause they'll be like "You enjoy that Delta 4X Peach Cobbler we picked out, boss?" and you don't want to tell them you expierenced the entire plot of Shutter Island
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"Billy, we have Tom Bombadil practically signed already. He's got some years on him, sure, but he was never once tempted by the One Ring."
"If we give Tom Bombadil the ring, he'll just forget he has it. No, we take his 1 spot and bring in *sharpie noises* 4 halflings."
*groans*
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Matthew Weiner has announced that Don Draper, the advertising genius behind "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" and the Quiznos Spongmonkeys, has died at the age of 97. He is survived by his three children and 6 of his 7 wives.
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Florence Balcombe, the wife of Dracula author Bram Stoker, never watched Nosferatu (1922) but made it her life mission to burn every print as the film was produced without her permission.
Those who destroy art so rarely enjoy it. She was unsuccessful in part due to piracy.
David Zaslav never actually watched ‘COYOTE VS ACME’ and is still intent on now deleting the movie.
Michael De Luca and Pam Abdy only saw a directors cut.
(Source: )
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What the Paddington Expierence guests see after they walk into an empty warehouse
Paddington Bear Experience announces London dates and details
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Maher: You know, Jigsaw never kills anyone in those movies.
Gaffigan: He definitely does.
Maher: Watch them again, the choice to live is theirs.
Gaffigan: You're saying you could choose to survive the shotgun carousel from Saw VI?
*long pause*
Maher: I don't count the woke traps
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The Holiday will become more of a classic each year and nostalgia for the Blockbuster scene is a big part of that.
Just shows how much the Netflix Blockbuster show missed what viewers wanted. Should have taken place in the 00s and been about our warm memories of video stores.
Jack Black and Kate Winslet at Blockbuster in The Holiday (2006)
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Watching a 2004 Josh Harnett romance movie with 27% on Rotten Tomatoes and there is a split diopter shot three minutes into the movie.
We used to have cinema in this country.
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Ryan Murphy can be stopped if we get men who look like this to go on strike
Ryan Murphy, With 3 Shows in Production, Threatens to Sue Writers Guild Strike Captain (Exclusive)
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Every photo of the Kennedys is either one of the most impactful and dramatic images captured in American history or this
tf were they feeding 1960s photographers you do not see shit like this anymore
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The Count's custom whip is insane, look at that license plate
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One of the strangest images in all animation has got to be the ghost of a Confederate soldier saluting Scooby-Doo
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When people say "movies aren't horny anymore" they aren't talking about sex scenes or nudity, they're talking about how business dramas used to have women applaud as Harrison Ford washed his pits.
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The moon looks crazy tonight... Imma chill out here for a little and just visualize my success n vibe to the scenary
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Lots of people seem unclear on what actually happens during a writer's strike not just with the WGA but with ongoing productions. Here's a quick thread on one of the films that was affected the most by the 2007-2008 WGA strike - Quantum of Solace.
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It really was a blessing that Jon Hamm never accepted a superhero role during Mad Men and made the show have to explain why a destructive alcoholic whose main form of exercise is cheating on his wife suddenly has washboard abs
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In the moment just before the anesthesia puts you to sleep, you look over and see your surgeon intensely studying this diagram
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On my first day of film school, the professor surveyed the class on what we thought the greatest film of all time was and the students almost unanimously agreed it was Turbo, the movie about the snail who becomes infused with nitrous oxide and begins racing against cars.
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Love when you watch a Civil War documentary and a boring historian is just like "This battle was absolutely crucial" and then it cuts to a Virginia professor who is the human version of Foghorn Leghorn being like "Welllllll now these bois were in fer a reckoningggg"
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Hannibal Lecter: Tell me, Clarice, do you know why they call it "girl dinner" the papers won't say
Clarice: Girls online... don't eat a nutrious enough meal sometimes
Lecter: And do 𝘺𝘰𝘶 ever find yourself at 8pm eating just strawberries and cheese?
Clarice, voice breaking: yes
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On the subject of "tragedy tourism" many 9/11 survivors I know refuse to visit the WTC memorial not because the site itself is painful but because of the people.
Most tourists smile in their photos. I once saw a girl laugh as she ran off with the flower placed in a victim's name.
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Mad Men characters on Elon Musk.
Don Draper
"You tell me you're rich, you're powerful. I say show me. The most powerful man in the world is nothing when the only people in the room are laughing at him. What are you showing me besides your ass and asking me to put $8 inside it."
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Me on July 21st going from my 7:10 screening of Barbie to my 9:05 screening of Oppenheimer
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The last time I went to a karaoke bar, there was a drunk guy singing the "oobee doo,
I wanna be like you" song from The Jungle Book and when I said he was actually really good, an exhausted bartender told me "That man comes here every night and only sings that song."
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After a man starts dressing like this he never wears a different fit again in his life
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Can't imagine watching Twin Peaks with commercials. Like... how did you even process this?
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When you realize the unrecognizable actor in a movie is Gary Oldman
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Packed Wakanda Forever audience cheering "ELAINE! ELAINE! ELAINE!" every time Julia Louis-Dreyfus shows up
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