Cover reveal for my first book "Van Helsing's Guide to Monsters and Dating".I am grinning ear to ear and cannot wait for y'all to meet Jefferson Van Helsing on September 9th. PRE-ORDER NOW!

Coming up on TCM, the 2023 classic "AI-Generated Will Smith Eating Spaghetti" followed by 5 hours of 2022's controversial AI Seinfeld riff "Nothing Forever"

There was a hornet hiding in the bathroom so we set our security cam in front of a nectarine and have been monitoring toilet TV

Something presidential candidates don't realize is that you don't have to follow-up with a behind-the-scenes memoir. Any major publisher will put out your sci-fi novel where galactic war over the alien mining planet Quakerus-5 may or may not be an analogy for Pennsylvania voters.

Love the idea of people whose job is just holiday decor. Coming stressed into the office in July like "our Frankenstein salt & pepper shakers should have hit production in JUNE".

My favorite lore about vampires is that they can only rest on their native soil so if Dracula was from Ohio he could be sucking blood anywhere in the world but still have to come home to a box of dirt from Cleveland.

"When I was a child, my father would take me to the store to buy a Dubai chocolate after I put my homework into ChatGPT. No. No. Actually, I was an orphan. My only friend was a, uhh, knockoff Labubu. "

Trying to promote a book without making TikToks

Julie Andrews doing Mary Poppins and then The Sound of Music over the course of a year holds the same reverence and awe as the 90s Chicago Bulls for me.

Unimportant thing to get upset about but $25 million budget, 2 hour long TV episodes are an insult to the heart and soul of the TV movie, 90 minutes dedicated to "Revenge of the Flying Nun" that got financing only through forced product placement for a now bankrupt gin company.

Giving book recommendations at 10: The Werewolf of Fever Swamp is so good. Giving book recommendations at 20: Start with Siddhartha and then follow it with 100 Years of Solitude. Giving book recommendations at 30: Bro, don't sleep on The Werewolf of Fever Swamp.

Kind of endearing that his coworkers have sleek, stylish homes and offices that a designer decided for them while the Campbells live in an inescapable kingdom of kitsch.

Pete Campbell's interior design goes crazy. How does that dog even play into the nautical theme?

The concept of someone who was born the day Mad Men premiered being able to legally enlist in the armed forces, ship out to war, accidentally kill his C.O. in a gasoline explosion, and steal his identity.

Colbert beginning a tearful goodbye, stopping as he sees reality disappear, the set changes, Letterman is there, Madonna drops her 27th F-bomb, it is 1994, it has always been 1994, one last scream from oblivion, Letterman asks if she heard that, Madonna calls him a sick fuck.

Tennessee Williams should have done a play where it's a crisp and pleasant 73 degrees outside and no one is insane.

Those Satanists had her wearing merch and drinking supplements. Rosemary Woodhouse was a victim to influencer culture over 40 years before Instagram 😔

In the final days of verified Twitter accounts, there was an official ALF page that would just quote tweet "Looks delicious" when someone posted their cat.

Saying "We're talking about ALF right?" any time someone says just because an alien's home planet exploded and he came to America doesn't mean he is an immigrant.