vyrthandi 🦊
@vyrthandi
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Tragedian Razorgirl | she/her/doll/kallai | w/ @HelseaSmiles 💗 @mayadeanewriter
Chicago, IL
Joined April 2019
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If you can, please help support my girlfriend's GoFundMe. Chelsea is in need of FFS, including a Type IV brow bone reduction.
Please retweet, like and comment for the algo. Thank you so much!
#TransCrowdFund
#TDOV
#TDOV2023
#TDOV23
#TransDayOfVisibility
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"can i help you ladies find anything?"
my cis 12yo: "i'm a boy"
it happens almost every time we go shopping. i never get misgendered, but he does
when alone, i ask, "how did it make you feel?" because children should be allowed to interrogate their feelings about their gender
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"irreversible damage"
my conservative father didn't care about the irreversible damage he was doing to my bones, connective tissue and psyche when he was beating the shit out of me
when i was growing up, conservative parents openly bragged to each other about beating their kids
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the "stop acting like a girl" to "there were no signs" pipeline
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this is the bare minimum that we can do as parents, whether cis or trans, and it costs us absolutely nothing
i'm not trying "to trans" him. i'm teaching him that he gets to live life on his own terms--not mine--and that he deserves to be happy
every parent should want that
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my roommate's new doctor dropped her progesterone from 400mg to 200mg because any more "only increases negative side effects" (🧵)
that was 7 weeks ago
her results:
• increased anxiety, depression & irritability
• emotional withdrawal
• immediate cessation of breast growth
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if you encounter a group of trans dolls, you may find a goofy little guy among their ranks
do not approach. you do not know what that sméagol-coded motherfucker has done to earn their respect
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Transphobia is really complicated, so let me explain:
They want us dead. That's it.
I can explain again if you like.
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i recently discovered i have two daughters, and have for some time. now i'm falling even deeper in mom
they're smart, beautiful, funny and compassionate
they should've never been orphaned. they deserve unconditional love. i want to give them everything that was stolen from them
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yesterday at my quarterly STI and HIV testing the phlebotomist was so sweet. after looking at diagnosis codes he asked me, "how did you choose your name?"
unfazed, i told him, "it means Becoming."
then he came out to me as a trans guy
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since nobody warned me of the harmful effects of HRT, now i climax just from nipple play
and the worst part? HRT 86'd my refractory period, so my girlfriends (plural) can torment me for hours on end
and i can't stop them because the progesterone paralyzes me into submission 😫
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as a trans woman exposed to all the dumbest, most selfish takes by cis parents on twitter, i've learned that my child's puberty is all about ME
my 12 year old son smells a little too much like my old signature brand of rancid testosterone, so i'm starting him on puberty blockers
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Not realizing you were experiencing dysphoria until AFTER your egg cracked isn't rare. Anecdotally, it seems to be the most common experience.
Your pre-transition social conditioning tells you to ignore or misattribute your feelings of distress to other phenomena.
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Parents, if “there were no signs” your child is trans, you weren’t paying attention, or they knew they couldn’t be vulnerable around you. But probably both.
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Cis people stop pretending trans people only appeared just 6 years ago challenge.
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my ex-wife, Natalie, went with me to an appointment. (we're on good terms.) the gal who came to the waiting room and called my name saw Natalie sitting next to me, crocheting
"does she have a son named Baldur?" she asked as we walked away
giving zero fucks, i said, "we both do"
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if an autistic trans girl info dumps the full cast of her O.C.'s to you, pay careful attention to her
take notes if you have to
she doesn't know it yet, but she's introducing you to her headmates
believe me, if you hang out with enough trans girls, this is inevitable
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it's 2023, and everyone has an opinion on trans people (mostly uninformed opinions)
so bbs, hatchlings, eggies: picking a name that will be "easy" for your cis friends and family to adapt to isn't going to help them accept you
they're going to love or hate you regardless
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Friendly reminder that the trans girls you're staring at in public can't necessarily tell if you're an ally or a threat.
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casual reminder that ‘punk’ likely started as a slur for trans sex workers, but now anyone who is anyone wants to claim some flavor of punk
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trans women often feel the weight of all the ghosts we carry with us
i cut ties with my father in 2009, so i didn't know when my stepbrother died
he was 25, and he left a widow with three babies behind
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• sleep irregularities (often 12-16 hours)
• hot flashes
• moodiness
• night sweats
• unwanted weight loss
• brain fog and difficulty concentrating
• loss of libido
she's 33
i was in the exam room
nobody told her to "ask your doctor if menopause is right for you"
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i assure you these are the same person
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the cis will call you a girl your entire life until you admit they're right
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t4t isn't hard to understand once you realize how many cissexual girl are disturbingly obsessed with true crime
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i should add that my roommate has literally no extra weight to lose
she dropped from 135 to 125
she has been trying to gain weight for years
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the "i'm just asexual" to "it was bottom dysphoria all along" pipeline
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If your favorite part of the game was the character creator, you’re now trans.
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before surgery i experienced that "phantom pussy" thing trans girls on HRT (especially progesterone) talk about having
the feeling i have now is the exact same feeling i had before surgery
HRT rewires your brain for the expected hardware, affecting your mind/body connection
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hey trans ladies and theydies
did the cis boys try to drown you as a child?
i'm trying to see something
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i went to a (trans femme only) spa for the first time, and i can't express how much i didn't know i needed that
i think this was the last step i needed to surpass my own impossible, self-imposed standard and finally admit to myself, without caveats, that my body is beautiful
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"your gaydar is wrong. i'm not gay, i'm just a straight guy who is really gay for girls"
sure, babygirl. put a pin in that, and we'll circle back in a couple years
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on sunday we decided we weren't going to let her endure this torture anymore
she's now supplementing her insufficient prescription with mine
the changes were practically immediate. she's feeling better now, and she's excited to be experiencing breast tenderness again
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“your hormone levels may be too low,” said no doctor to a trans women, ever
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'his' or 'hers' in pronouns is the most aggressively cis shit ever
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what are the side effects doctors are concerned about?
for the trans femmes i know, literally every "side effect" of progesterone is THE desired effect, even (and especially) weight gain, which does quite a bit to feminize more aspects of our bodies than just our breasts
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"You don't need FFS" is not "you're beautiful."
"You don't need FFS" is not a compliment.
"You don't need FFS" is "your suffering is tolerable TO ME."
Don't do this.
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as you plan out your transition milestones to gradually reclaim your body, be aware that tattoos and piercings are some of the most cost effective gender-affirming procedures
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i wish the trans women i know who somehow survived to adulthood could exist without feeling certain that they're living on borrowed time
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one of my girlfriends just got married!
i'm officially a concubine!!!
it's everything i ever wanted 🥹
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A long-standing question I've grappled with is how could I, as a trans woman, in order to prevent future harm to my sistren and community, even attempt to carefully talk about another trans woman who has done things that reinforce the worst transmisogynist stereotypes.
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as trans women start to get pregnant, i guaranteed you "journalists" are going to have no problem referring to each as a "person with a uterus" or a "birthing person"
I'm a woman. Please don't ever refer to me as a person with a uterus, birthing person, or person who menstruates. How do people not realize how degrading this is? You can support the transgender community without doing this shit.
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Gentlemen, if you want to cosplay, but don't, because the only characters you'd want to cosplay are girls...
I won't ruin that surprise for you.
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@thornhawthorne
"when was your last period?"
i never had one
"we need to do a pregnancy test"
i can't get pregnant
::opening pregnancy test
"we have to check"
i don't have a uterus
::throws away open pregnancy test
later:
"when did you get a hysterectomy?"
i haven't had a hysterectomy
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In the months ahead, if I were a fascist with no internet home to go to, and a burning desire to destroy trans woman, I might create 'trans' Twitter accounts with picrew or Steven Universe avatars to spread rumors & incite mobs, since too many trans women still haven't caught on.
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i'm trans, 40, medically transitioning for over 5 years, and i finally bought myself women's swimwear for the first time in my life 👙
(also: casual reminder to the dolls that cissexual women (yes, mother decrees that we're saying cissexual nyow) frequently have a big booba gap)
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JK Rowling wouldn't "happily" serve prison time if she was a trans women
for many trans women throughout the world, imprisonment all but ensures V-coding, a fate far worse than death
JK Rowling says she would ‘happily’ serve prison time over her transphobic views.
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• masking in public
• avoiding crowds & gatherings
• social distancing
• periodic jabs
• limited social interaction
• hypervigilance re: safety
• adapting to a new normal
• honoring the dead
people were too weak to handle even two years of a common transgender experience
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trans girls get furious if you point out their emotional support floor laundry
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meanwhile, our other roommate, who also had a little extra prog, started supplementing my girlfriend's 200mg dose to bring it up to 400mg for the last two weeks
her breasts and nipples are tender and visibly growing for the first time since starting HRT 3-1/2 years ago
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she tried to legitimately increase her prescription, but her doctor kept refusing, saying things like "testosterone is also important for women's health. i just went to a conference about testosterone and learned a lot about it"
(also "i see you're a pisces just like me!" 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️)
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every trans man i've met IRL has been a total gentleman. they know how to make me feel immediately comfortable
we chatted about our transitions. he was insistent that he only clocked me by the diagnosis codes, and he was vehement that i was passing
i love my brothers 🥰
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also, i wish more people could be a fly on the wall for some of the real conversations trans women and trans men can have with each other. things like skin care, hair, shaving, acne, orgasms, daily life, etc. there are intersectional and elucidating conversations only we can have
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"Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria"
Read: child of a parent in denial who refused to see the signs.
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the realization hit when one introduced me as her mom, and it clicked
of course she's my daughter
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her dysphoria is still bad, but significantly more manageable. her appetite is improved, as is her mental state
she's still adjusting to the dose but it's not causing her any noticeable distress
she's the happiest and most emotionally available version of herself i've ever seen
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you want the right puberty
they insist your hormones stay low enough to simulate what they think are normal post-pubescent levels
do you see the problem here?
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there aren't enough studies on progesterone in either cis women or trans women
most information about progesterone that the dolls have is completely anecdotal, but i can't think of a single person i know who didn't feel a significant quality of life improvement on a 400mg dose
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we're beating the fascists wrt aesthetics
they wanted to frame trans rights as "grooming" & "mutilating children" (this isn't happening)
instead, the spectacle of denying a duly elected representative to speak for her constituents made this a fight over democracy itself
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Did the pandemic make you feel safer, or are you cisgender?
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my girlfriend had to step on me once, shower with me twice, and make out with me three times before i figured out she might be interested in me, BUT! that doesn't mean i'm autistic
you see, i figured out my other girlfriend had a crush on me 6 hours into a 14hr discord call
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we can only conclude that the gatekeeping of progesterone is due to the misogyny, transmisogyny and fatphobia rampant in the medical community
trans women deserve better than this
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Are you trans and still working on your makeup game? Here are some things I've learned.
· don't skip skin care (cleanse, tone, moisturize)
· find your eyebrow shape
· pluck under your arches every day to keep it manageable
· don't over pluck
· pore primer isn't optional
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male socialization was when Dad beat me for no reason in particular (being a girl) (faggot) (derogatory) but not my sister (cishet) (manipulative)
it's fine. she's two years younger, but looks older than me and TIRED, and i'm so much prettier than her
this. this is my revenge.
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narrator voice: "her son was actually not on puberty blockers, because she respected his agency, and let him determine his own path in life, because she loved him, and didn't see him as a lump of clay she could mold into an extension of her will"
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because i'm his parent, he's my property. he doesn't have the ability to make decisions about his own health, in consultation with medical professionals
if he wants to go through a male puberty, i'll support him once he's an adult capable of making an informed medical decision
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practically every trans femme i know has fought with their doctor for a higher dose, or is still having that fight
they tell us they want more studies, flaunt the lack of data to deny us care, and vaguely gesture at rules they'd run afoul of, even at informed consent clinics
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maybe someone can find and link the article, but i remember once reading how a doctor in the U.K. told a woman who wanted progesterone that "if you want to get fat, eat more pies," and i can't think of anything that better encapsulates this problem
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whisper networks don't protect baby trans
i can't possibly adopt every one of them, but i still have the motherly urge to shake the shit out of all trans girl i meet under 24 months and say, "don't be desperate. anyone attracted to desperation will chew you up and spit you out"
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situations like this sometimes occur wherein i don't explicitly say i'm trans, but i let that unspoken element hang in the air and simply observe it as the conversation unfolds
sometimes the conversation requires additional explanation, but often enough it doesn't even go there
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nobody warned side effects of HRT would include:
happiness, hope, beauty, a will to live, more friends than i can manage, fulfilling relationships with multiple partners, the ability to look myself in the mirror, orgasms that break my brain, a better relationship with my son,
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On estrogen, I stopped feeling like I was decaying. On progesterone, I finally felt alive.
Not everyone who is trans wants HRT. I respect that.
But for me, my transness may as well be an endocrine disorder. Without these hormones, I could only ever be a shade of my true self.
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i know what's best for him, and that's whatever makes me happy
i have rights, after all. property rights
and if he sees this as abuse, i'll tell him i'm doing this to him because i love him, and he'll understand when he's older, and he certainly won't suffer or hate me for this
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i see your "when did you know you were trans?"
i raise you my "when did your abusers know?"
i raise you again with my "when did you know that knowing you were trans would mean the abuse would get worse?"
and i run the table with my "we weren't allowed to know it was possible"
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cishet "allies" will say oblivious shit like "have you tried not paying attention to the news?" or "why don't you stop thinking about it?" and you know they don't actually care about you, your life, or what's happening, they just want to believe they're one of the *good ones*
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we're getting awfully close to "bottom surgery is assimilation" discourse
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it feels like the overton window suddenly shifted this week, and trans rights is no longer an issue liberals are allowed to regard with casual apathy
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anyone who tells you "it's not worth transitioning after 35" is a liar
anyone who tells you “it’s not worth transitioning after 19” is a dogshit liar
I turned my life around at 25 and it was the best decision I ever made.
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