vladchoc
@vladchoc
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Following
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You look at the profile. It's nothing special. There is a pile of burrito wrappers to the east. A huge dork is here. Obvious exits: south, east. /follow dork
Perth, Western Australia
Joined May 2007
Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.
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Last night, while swiping fruit into adjacent squares (in order to save a king from a bear) I ran out of magic figs and had to watch an ad in which you swipe eggs into adjacent squares (in order to get ready for your big date) and I was like heeeey, I can get INTO this.
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When Batman suddenly arrives and it’s just the shadow of him with glowing white eyes? That’s what I look like to the English muffins when I walk into the kitchen in the morning
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The Fallout series has always perpetuated unrealistic body standards. Your limbs and head will not necessarily explode in slow motion when they receive critical damage and that is ok.
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Spotify is telling me I need to discover The Beatles. They good?
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kicked out of McDonald’s for asking how much the other burgers weigh
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Having a huge problem with mice. I've tried everything. Saying mean things about them behind their back. Eating all of my cheese crackers DIRECTLY in front of them. I am literally running out of solutions.
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Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, look life straight in the eye and say “Sorry. I ruined everything. It’s all my fault and I feel absolutely sick about it every day”.
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Inside me there are two wolves. One is “don’t post much.” The other, “post a lil bit sometimes.”
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And then she said those three words I’ve been waiting so long to hear.
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A real reminder to check the guest wing of your castle.
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Twitter is finally getting this ad thing right, I was telling my wife I was in the market for some tight tolerance, thin-walled aluminum extrusions manufactured in my home state and this popped up.
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45 minutes into Billy the Kid versus Dracula and he gives you this look
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Just a heads up. If you’re doing research and the article you’re reading ends with square after square of conventionally attractive women and gross, nonsensical medical imagery… the site is bad and you have done goofed.
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Heck yeah, I’ll wait for the crosswalk light. For as long as it takes. Even on an empty street. I'll stand here all damn day if I have to. Just bein’ a good boy.
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These are the lyrics to the Indiana Jones Theme Song.
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While rewatching The State I had completely forgotten about the Taco Mailman sketch, which still brings me a lot of joy. Please enjoy this Zoom re-enactment if you can't watch the original:
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E.T. is naked, right? We can all agree on that. And genitals and anuses are fairly common among humanoid beings, right? Ok so here’s my question. Are Reese’s Pieces supposed to be different flavours for each colour?
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Despite numerous R&B singers’ claims that they’ve “Got what I need” not one of them has been able to produce a decent copycat Chipotle burrito recipe.
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