trashsandwiches
@trashsandwiches
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50% trash, 100% sandwiches ★ Writer & Editor at @IBT_Media
Joined August 2020
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I always read RB and QB as "are-bee" and "cue-bee" but WR and TE as wide receiver and tight end
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Eno signing with the Texans is a piercing blow to Dameon
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@KarolinaZL
I would spend SO MUCH MONEY on gorgeous art (wearable and not) if I was rich, just surround myself with beautiful things
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@MissThrilla
Holy fuck, as both a football fan and a fashion fan, let me just say how incredible this is. She put Russell Wilson's number on a Seahawks green gown with their jersey elements and the Super Bowl ring while honoring fashion history. She understood the dang assignment!
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Part of the theme for
#SFB12
is connecting people, but apparently I am reconnecting! I'm in the same division as my high school math teacher 🤣
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@MunderDifflinFF
I've Googled this before! I believe because it's typically read as "are-bee" and not "running back" then you use an
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Just a lil update or what have you
I've been really struggling for months/years with mental health, bad work situation, personal stuff, etc
But!
I quit my job on Monday to follow my dreams!
AND
I just found out I won a big 40 under 40 award!
This feels really, really good
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Getting my
#SFB14
invite is the perfect way to kick off the NFL Draft and a three day weekend!!!! As always, a massive thank you to
@ScottFish24
and the entire
@FantasyCaresOrg
crew for everything you do in the FF community and beyond!
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If you drafted Jonathan Taylor then you unintentionally went 0RB
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Something stuck with me re: the Deshaun Watson news is saying “this is a business decision.” Sure to oversimplify it, this is probably "good for business.”
He's objectively talented and you’re not necessarily wrong for thinking that way. But I don't think the NFL should.
1/8 🧵
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can't talk, doing hot girl shit (drinking capri sun, eating oreos, researching fantasy football)
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Everytime I see someone posting that they got into
#SFB13
, I don't care who you are, I don't care if I know you or not, it's an auto-like. SFBs are easily one of the best parts of the FF community and I love seeing all the excitement and joy with every invite!
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My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex right now and I'm wondering if this is why he offered me free weed this afternoon
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my mental health has been shit lately but someone gave me these cow pants this morning and they are giving me LIFE 🐄
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I don't trust people who lounge around the house in jeans
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I had to get professional headshots for something so I guess I'll take advantage of them
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The "women don't know football" crowd is gonna be outraged but my home league finals are the two women of the league and before you way it's a fluke, we also won 2 of the last 3 championships 😎
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1,500 miles later and I'm finally home from
@theffexpo
! I want to give a heartfelt thank you to everyone I met or spent time with for helping to make it such an amazing experience. I can't express how much it meant to me, but I really needed this. Y'all are some fantastic people!
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Spent yesterday making a football fleece to avoid responsible stuff, gonna fuck around and find out if I can do pants today
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That's Madame President Trash Sandwiches to all of you!
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It's the start of
#PrideMonth
which feels like a fitting time to say I'm pansexual and this is the first time I've ever come out! 🏳️🌈
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Do you like football? Do you like being warm in the winter? If you answered yes to both, I have just the thing for you!
I will design and knit a custom hat for your team! We'll work togwther to make something you love! Hats are $35 or barter. Adult, kid, and baby sizes available
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Here's an idea for where Deshaun Watson should go: jail
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I got dumped yesterday which sucks, but the silver lining is that I'm now only one ex away from completing the most unhinged lineup of seven evil exes
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Death, taxes, and my stoner dad and I each sneaking around to get high because we have an unspoken don't ask don't tell policy
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So excited and honored to be featured on this! Hope you'll all tune in!
The latest episode of HERstory in the Making, POWERED by
@FantasyAlarm
, drops on Tuesday, 12/13, at 8:30p EST!
Joining
@Britt_Flinn
is special guest,
@trashsandwiches
!
Subscribe to the
@ClubFantasyFFL
YouTube page so you don't miss it!
#WOFF
📺:
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🚨 BIG NEWS 🚨
Most of you probably follow me for fantasy football and I've somehow been called an analyst without ever giving any analysis, so I've decided to give the people what they want! Without further ado, I present:
NFL Team Rankings: Mascot Edition
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A lot of fantasy football hullabaloos could be avoided with context. Did Albert Okwuegbunam become an elite TE because of the trade? No. But he probably went from a meh TE 2/3 to a serviceable TE 1/2 and sometimes that's enough
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thrilled to report that I won in a nailbiter and am the first repeat champ!!! great news because I did not want to mail this honker of a trophy, but I will be getting it a plaque!
also perhaps I should tell my leaguemates now how deep in the fantasy football world I am...
The "women don't know football" crowd is gonna be outraged but my home league finals are the two women of the league and before you way it's a fluke, we also won 2 of the last 3 championships 😎
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I've been offline and trying to catch up on everything but it's a lot and frankly feels too overwhelming so let me just say this:
Women belong here. Everyone belongs here.
Also thanks for all the shoutouts/love, I love you all and appreciate it ❤️
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This is unquestionably the most bizarre DM I have ever received, also please fess up if you're the one spreading rumors that I have insider info on Ja'Marr Chase I just wanna talk
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I've been struggling a lot lately and tonight I finally made a proper dinner for the first time in weeks, maybe months. It wasn't fancy, it wasn't even that great, but it involved planning, effort, protein, and vegetables and I'm really proud of myself
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I am also not getting married, dating, having sex, or buying a house but she said it's only men that are the problem so I'm just gonna keep on sports betting 😊
A financial analyst on CNBC implied that legalized sports betting could be to blame for young men not getting married, not dating and not having sex.
(H/T
@adamlevitan
)
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Confession: I don't have a favorite NFL team 😳
But I want one before before season starts and time is running out! Please state your team and case for me to join the fandom below ⬇️
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Grief is hitting hard today. My ex's funeral was one year ago today. I've spent that year trying to process it and why I felt so uncomfortable.
At the time, I made a lot of jokes like "how weird not being the only ex at your ex's funeral"
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it's really rude of my job to make me go through data and spreadsheets today that aren't fantasy football related
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#NewProfilePic
as promised and I am screaming at work over this! Thank you
@ScottFish24
and
@RyanMc23
for making my dreams come true!!!!!!!
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They have pockets 🔥 September 8 can't come soon enough!
Spent yesterday making a football fleece to avoid responsible stuff, gonna fuck around and find out if I can do pants today
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It feels bad as a woman. It feels bad as a fan. It feels bad as a business decision.
What’s the point of all this? IDK, I mostly just needed to get it all out, but also:
Support women in sports. Believe women. Fuck the patriarchy.
8/8
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taking bong rips and watching draft day in preparation for draft day
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for my mental health, I will no longer be acknowledging any fantasy football stats or information that makes me sad
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COOL IT WITH THE FUCKING FIREWORKS IT'S JULY 7 AND MY DOG IS TOO AFRAID TO PEE AT NIGHT
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my day job coworkers found out I do some podcasts today and tried to search for me on youtube as if I would be using my government name for this glorified shitposting account that somehow became fantasy football-ish
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NFL players face little to no consequences for horrifying behavior like sexual assault or domestic violence, usually perpetuated against women. It’s disgusting, heartwrenching, and makes me question how I can support the NFL. I know I’m not alone in that as a woman and a fan
2/8
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I've been feeling a lot of imposter syndrome with being an adult lately, like I just drink a lot of coffee and pretend to know what I'm doing and I guess that's adulthood ??!?!?
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Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone!!! It's been a solid day and I've been celebrating with good food and company! My coworkers even decided to surprise me with this beaut, printed as a 2 ft x 3 ft banner 🤣
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If you ever think you're a bad sibling just remember that Edmund sold his family out to the White Witch for some Turkish Delight
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I had a literal life altering epiphany yesterday and I genuinely can't remember the last time I was this hopeful or excited about anything. I'm doing things!!!!!!!!
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Chiefs fans doing the chop on Indigenous Peoples' Day feels grosser than usual
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forgot that I joined a fantasy football league via tinder last night so this will probably be interesting
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hey
@SleeperHQ
, was that notification that it's my turn to pick an April Fool's joke? because I don't think I'm drafting anywhere but honestly IDK
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woomp there it is!
(y'all should get tested if you were at the expo and haven't already, it's unfortunately going around. sorry fam 😭)
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My bf painted this portrait of Stella for my birthday and it's beautiful and perfect and so incredibly thoughtful
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Since I'll lose my bragging rights after the weekend, I ended the first week of
#SFB12
playoffs at # 193 and I'm super proud of that!!
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Even spellcheck knows to put some respect on the name of THE Mark Andrews
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If we're talking covers that are better than originals, the Smash Mouth cover of I'm a Believer from the Shrek soundtrack should absolutely be at the top of the list
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From '09-'13, viewership by women grew 26% compared to a 10% increase among men
Women playing fantasy football went up 14% in one year ('14-'15)
More fans means more money. Right? The NFL should want more women as fans. So why do they fail to support women in the org?
5/8
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Friday
- Saw Taylor Swift
- Got my
#SFB13
invite
Saturday
- Held a successful fundraiser for my service club
- Won a nice chunk of change at said fundraiser
Sunday
- I will not be leaving the couch
Absolutely phenomenal weekend!!!
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Didn't get to meet
@thekaceykasem
last year, but we made it up for it by taking one of my favorite pics from the whole weekend, so seems like a fitting
#NewProfilePic
Also photo credit to
@DynastyOuthouse
, without whom this picture would not exist!
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The # of women who care about the NFL is growing but the NFL repeatedly shows they don’t care about women
While trying not to alienate fan$ who want Watson to play, I think they could be alienating more fans who don't esp a growing # of women and their money (business baby)
4/8
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when in the history of the internet has anyone ever meant christ olive???
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things you say:
during sex to a microwave
🤝
I'm coming
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My mom is visiting some cousins and said one "doesn't hang around with us for too long and is also very into fantasy football" so he doesn't know it yet but we will be forming a football introvert corner at the next reunion
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I won my first ever championship this year and it was my dynasty home league where I've been talking shit for well over a year, so this is by far the sweetest victory
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I got some absolutely wild and exciting personal news yesterday and my brain is going a mile a minute on everything other than the actual work I have to do today
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Ordered enough Chinese food to warrant 2 sets of silverware, getting absolutely wild tonight!
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Will I stop watching football? Probably not. But will I think twice about a Browns game? Probably.
I don't know of any data on how this instance/pattern could dissuade new or decrease current fans but I think it might
Why should the NFL care? Simple: it's good for business
3/8
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I DID IT!!!!!!
If I don't get Taylor Swift tickets tomorrow I will literally die
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working on something kind of fun and cool in the fantasy football world and I'm pretty excited to share 😁
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as someone who knows trash sandwiches, the dangerwich sounds like such a trash sandwich
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Justin Fields always looks so sad 😭
it's okay bb, fantasy twitter still loves you 😭😭😭
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She said yes!!!*
*to helping her mother photograph a gorgeous vintage 1930s wedding dress
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It's
#SFB12
draft day and I'm the only one working today so I'd smash the under on any actual work getting accomplished
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I think my team is quitting on me, all my players are saying "bye"
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I got a 10 piece knife set with the block for $20 at costco today and $1.50 hot dogs, absolute win of a trip
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Has anyone researched the economic impact of Macklemore's 2012 hit "Thrift Shop" on the secondhand clothing industry?
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Proud moment for my inner kid who really wanted to be an artist and looked up to the semifamous folk artist from my town (pic w/ me at 4)
He commissioned me to make this fish hat and I still feel so starstruck to be recognized a fellow artist🥹
had to take THAT fish pic obvi 🤣
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My brain is broken. I just typed Las Vegas Raisins, caught it, then promptly typed Baltimore Raisins. I don't even like raisins!
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This is tonight and I'm super excited!!
The latest episode of HERstory in the Making, POWERED by
@FantasyAlarm
, drops on Tuesday, 12/13, at 8:30p EST!
Joining
@Britt_Flinn
is special guest,
@trashsandwiches
!
Subscribe to the
@ClubFantasyFFL
YouTube page so you don't miss it!
#WOFF
📺:
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IDK why they entrusted me with this official vest and pin but I do feel very official and yes, you can ask me about Rotary!
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Beyond Watson, countless players have been accused of rape, sexual assault or domestic violence with little to no consequences
And let’s not forget everything (or nothing) that’s happened with Dan Snyder, the Washington Commanders, and the many accounts of sexual harassment
7/8
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they gave me my very own
#FCEliminator
!!!! think you can beat me??
(spoiler: you can't but you can support a great cause by playing!)
the hour is finally upon us!!
#FCEliminator
2024 signups are live
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
spread the word. drop in your old FCE chats, let your peeps know! tag a friend, tag a frenemy! lets go!!
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somehow, yes! and I have now made it one round further in the playoffs each year!! y'all better watch out because SFB16 is gonna be my year, data doesn't lie 👀🔥
#SFB13
Round 3 is in the books. On to the quarterfinals where 500 teams remain!
Did you make it?
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I don't think I have to words to express how horrifying it is that Watson will only get a 6 game suspension. Dozens of women bravely came forward and I'm sure there were dozens more that didn’t. Just disgusting.
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