timoconnell
@timoconnell
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Does the Sheriff of Butler County wear a funny hat?
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I went grocery shopping hungry yesterday. Now I'm the proud owner of Aisle 9.
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Every time I log in I have 99+ mentions. People LOVE me, what can I say?
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One of my all-time favourites. Stare at the red dot on the woman's nose for 30 seconds, then look at an empty wall while blinking quickly. Promise it's worth it... https://t.co/jsmr9VtTjj
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Happy #NationalSockDay everyone! For a limited time only, pick up our BRAND NEW Ohio designs, “Cbus Blackout” and “Script Columbus” — both designs will only be in stock for a short time and are now available for pre-sale! #columbus #614living
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Happy National Sock Day! Are you wearing any? #NationalSockDay
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Any tool that works well for other than its intended purpose is a good tool (e.g. crescent hammers.)
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We've come so far since WordPerfect 5.0
"Turbo Pascal! Get your lovely Turbo Pascal here. Buy it while it's fresh..." Tradition software vendor: Računari, August 1988.
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This is the “Tear Drop” monument located in New Jersey, donated by the people of Russia on 9/11 2006 as a memorial to the victims of the September 11 attacks. Retweet if you have never seen/heard of it.
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Change your job, or change your job.
It finally happened! The flight attendant asked "is there a doctor on this flight?" and I leapt up and said yes! Did a tracheotomy at 30,000ft with a razor blade and ballpoint pen. He didn't make it, but the thrill was undeniable. Thinking of going to doctor school now.
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nobody's got anything on my face
When you tell someone that they’ve got something on your face, and your point to your own face, do you mirror where they should fix it, or do you do it on the correct side? (Your left their left)
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ditto
Y’all I can’t believe I have to say this. DO NOT SEND UNSOLICITED NUDE PHOTOS OF YOURSELF TO PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET. It’s vile and I’m not on Twitter to see your junk 🤦♀️
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So there!
You can’t take my guns away if I don’t have any. Checkmate snowflakes.
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Amen!
Congratulations to the current lamest people on the internet, those who pedantically claim the new decade doesn't #actually start until 2021, as if that's ever how we've marked decades
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Merry Christmas Eve! I hope you're spending time with the ones you love ❤️ 📷 Victoria Porter
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