JasonLastname
@JasonLastname
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Imagine a caveman running on a treadmill, completely confused and crying hysterically.
VA
Joined July 2012
If you don't buy your kids piñatas how do you ever expect them to kill real donkeys
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If the headline for a church shooting isn’t ‘Pew Pew’ you writers have some class
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I’ll have a manhattan but make it a double. A menhattan.
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Trying to learn Spanish. How do you say the weather took my dog?
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I’m ready for a pandemic called knucklevirus that’s only transmitted by fist bumps. That shit needs to stop.
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doc said my liver is failing but i think it's just not applying itself
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Does my dog like when I wag her tail for her? Guess I’ll never know.
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My fiercest tweets are proudly brought to you by ChatLGBTQ
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Can we all agree that masturbating is offensive and maybe start primarybating
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I don’t care what era Forrest Gump grew up, he’ll always be Gen A
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