Taylor Pate Profile Banner
Taylor Pate Profile
Taylor Pate

@taylorlpate

Followers
3,131
Following
743
Media
7,208
Statuses
53,691

I think I've got my messiah impression nailed down. I draw a lot. Sad songs. Husband. Father. Polyam/ENM. He/Him.

Houston, TX
Joined December 2013
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
4 years
Food on Ubereats $21.48 Delivery Fee $0.99 Tip $3 ————————————- Total $98.49
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Houston ain’t for the faint of heart.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
OH COME ON
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@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
3 years
After almost two months of waiting, my Jae'Sean Tate jersey arrives today, just in time for #RocketsWatchParty .
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Taylor Pate
7 years
I'd write "Gimme $5k and we'll talk" and slide that paper right back in.
@VICE
VICE
7 years
Man trapped inside ATM dispensed notes through the machine to get help:
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Taylor Pate
6 years
Facebook is an entirely different breed.
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Taylor Pate
10 months
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@britneyspears
Britney Spears 🌹🚀
7 years
Perfect day to shoot some hoops 💪🏀
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@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
5 years
If the Rockets trade for Russell Westbrook, I'll tattoo his MVP season averages on my face.
@HPbasketball
Hardwood Paroxysm
5 years
If the Rockets traded for Russ the speed of Twitter would increase exponentially after Rockets fans were forced to delete 45% of their tweets.
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Taylor Pate
6 years
Imagine being 62 year old Sandy Franklin, staring at a gas pump, and being like
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@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
3 years
What the hell even is this, James?
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Y’all really let the Astros get back to the World Series, man. Talked all that shit, booed people who weren’t even on the team, made merchandise trashing the folks just to let them waltz back into the World Series unbothered.
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@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
5 years
Bran when he’s getting eaten alive by zombies because they chose Theon to protect him.
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Taylor Pate
7 years
Kevin Durant getting caught with his fake accounts.
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Taylor Pate
1 year
Bo Burnham really went off with this.
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Taylor Pate
7 years
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Taylor Pate
4 years
James Harden is a national treasure. 😂
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Taylor Pate
3 years
$600 stimulus vs $1400 stimulus Thanks again @HoustonRockets 😘
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Taylor Pate
3 years
They updated the mural!
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Taylor Pate
2 years
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Taylor Pate
3 years
James Harden will play with Ryan Anderson and Kostas Papanikolau but he draws the line at John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins. Okay.
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Taylor Pate
11 months
Save some VC for the jumper 😭
@BradeauxNBA
Bradeaux
11 months
Jabari Smith Jr’s new tattoo sleeve 🔥 ( @Tattoosbyrandy // IG)
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Taylor Pate
4 years
Hey, Austin Rivers took less money to stay with the Rockets. Remember that.
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Taylor Pate
11 months
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@tamsully12
Sarah Bellum
11 months
WITHOUT GOOGLING Name a famous historic battle.
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Sacramento.
@HoHighlights
House of Highlights
2 years
Name a city without an NBA team that you think deserves one. ⬇️
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@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
6 years
Btw, since you’re all here, fuck Logan Paul.
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Taylor Pate
7 years
I say unto thee: bare no witness to the false prophet from the Western Brook. He brings promises of triple doubles, but will lead you astray
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Good morning to everyone who said Houston drafted Josh Christopher because he’s Jalen Green’s friend.
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Taylor Pate
4 years
The $3 tip is random, just like the rest of these numbers. Yesterday I gave a DRIVE THRU worker $5 as a tip just for being awesome. Get off my ass cause you got the wrong one.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
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@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
3 years
Starting with this beauty
@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
3 years
Oh I am giffing the HELL out of this game.
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Taylor Pate
7 years
Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Kawhi, I will fear no Spur: for thou art with me; thy 3 and thy D, they comfort me.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Christian Wood took 16 shots and had 24 points. John Wall took 25 shots and had 14 points.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
March 2020 March 2021
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Taylor Pate
2 years
This is RIDICULOUS 😂
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@BradeauxNBA
Bradeaux
2 years
I still have no clue how Tari Eason was able to get this steal.
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Taylor Pate
5 years
@das_slapital @TitanfallBlog Ironic that to buff the Mozambique you have to Nerf it.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Good morning to everyone except those who didn't wanna be here.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
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Taylor Pate
3 years
If the Astros win this game, I need the social media manager to tweet "Awww did that hurt?"
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Taylor Pate
3 years
This is awesome. John Wall gives Christian Wood the "we practiced this" look before this inbounds play:
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Taylor Pate
2 years
This is going to be my text notification sound.
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Scoring on LeBron…then blocking him
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Taylor Pate
7 years
What the hell is this? He looks like Stannis Baratheon.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Oh, buddy. You should rethink this one. Trust me.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
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Taylor Pate
4 years
Y’all too huh?
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Knew that hair looked familiar.
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@darrenrovell
Darren Rovell
3 years
8 hours ago, Joe Biden’s odds to win hit an all-time low of 25.8%. Now? They’re back up to 61.5%
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Taylor Pate
6 months
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Taylor Pate
6 years
Gerald Green been a Rocket for like 5 minutes and already throwing hands to defend the team. Most Houston Houston Rocket ever.
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Taylor Pate
7 years
MICHAEL BEASLEY IS HOPPING ON ONE FOOT AND STILL PUTS HIS HAND UP TO GET A SHOT. LEGEND.
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Taylor Pate
10 months
I know how the Rockets could add some center depth with shooting.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Tyler Ivey Tyler Ivey’s dad
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@AstrosFuture
Astros Future
3 years
Congrats on the MLB debut @_TylerIvey ! #Astros
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Alright #Rockets fans, I have TWO sets of 2 lower bowl tickets to Friday night's home opener against OKC to give away. All you have to do is retweet this and be following me to enter! Winners will be picked tomorrow at 12pm! #LightTheFuse
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Taylor Pate
2 years
We went from “Jalen is a bust” to “Jalen is gonna make me bust” reeeeeal quick.
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Alperen Sengun is shooting 41.7% from three. We call that a stretch big.
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Taylor Pate
1 year
@Bornakang "we got polar bears at home"
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Sneak peek of Jalen Green in the 2022 NBA Slam Dunk Contest. 👀
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Taylor Pate
10 months
JALEN GREEN IS WILDDD LMFAOO
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Taylor Pate
3 years
So, you want an All-Star in return for Ben Simmons?
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Taylor Pate
4 years
If the Rockets trade for Giannis Antetokounmpo, I'll tattoo his MVP season averages on my face.
@taylorlpate
Taylor Pate
5 years
If the Rockets trade for Russell Westbrook, I'll tattoo his MVP season averages on my face.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
I could not think of a better trophy to commemorate this season.
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Taylor Pate
1 year
GUESS WHO GOT THE JOB
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Taylor Pate
1 year
Your boy has a second interview today for the Network System Administrator at.....THE HOUSTON ZOO. I've wanted to work at the zoo since I was 6 years old.
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Taylor Pate
6 years
Maybe I got this wrong and I should be petitioning for someone to pump my gas for me. I mean, shit...it is kinda annoying.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
@Jonathan_Feigen Never going to stop using this gif
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Taylor Pate
4 years
This is actually a brilliant move for James Harden. Entice the NBA to set up a Rockets-Bucks finals. Create intrigue. Create rivalry.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Don't sleep on this duo
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Taylor Pate
3 years
😵 😧 🤨 😏
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Taylor Pate
3 years
John Wall is probably sitting somewhere like "We had electricity that didn't wanna be here."
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Taylor Pate
3 years
If I were the Ringer CEO, I would be fucking outraged that I could have had all the top-tier NBA media talent, but I don't hire enough people of color and put my daughter on podcasts over rightfully deserving individuals.
@TheHoopCentral
Hoop Central
3 years
“If I was a Houston fan, I would be fu*king outraged that I could have had Simmons, Maxey, and a couple of Firsts versus the sh*t sandwich that I got.” - Bill Simmons on Houston’s return for James Harden (via “The Bill Simmons Podcast”)
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Taylor Pate
3 years
C'mon @HoustonRockets , y'all are rubbing it in.
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Found Alperen Sengun in the candy store.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
One of these guys will be an NBA champion.
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Taylor Pate
7 years
THE GREATEST ENDING TO A FOOTBALL GAME EVER.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Just so we’re all clear, I’d trade John Wall for Karl Anthony-Towns.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
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Taylor Pate
3 years
@SportsCenter I know yall just didn't compare CJ McCollum to HASHIRAMA OR MADARA.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Jalen Green showing off the hops 😏
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Taylor Pate
2 years
@HoustonRockets hire the intern
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Taylor Pate
3 years
Manifesting Jalen Green’s first free throw tonight.
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Taylor Pate
4 years
Canned response to anyone bitching about the fake $3 tip:
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Jaygup and Devin Booker jersey swap! 🔥🔥
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Taylor Pate
6 years
I know I tweeted this, but I’m holding the people of Oregon responsible for my phone dying by 3pm.
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Taylor Pate
6 years
Also, don’t stop fighting for Net Neutrality. We can still win this shit.
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Taylor Pate
2 years
If Carlos Correa gets #PayTheMan , can we get Alperen Sengun #PlayTheMan ?
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Taylor Pate
2 years
I've been missing my mom so much lately. One year, my alternator went out and I managed to get back to her house. She ripped it out and replaced it in under an hour. 2022 makes 10 years without her. My kids never got to meet her, but I'm trying to be half the person she was.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
If you’re laughing at Houston, I can’t hear you. I’m in my car shivering and crying cause my phone dead and my powers out.
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Taylor Pate
7 years
@TomiLahren @SnowflakeAwards Does complaining about Snowflakes not make you a snowflake yourself? It seems you whine more than they do.
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Taylor Pate
3 years
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@NekiasNBA
Nekias (Nuh-KY-us) Duncan
3 years
Alright seriously what did Evan Fournier do to deserve this kind of hunting lol
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Good morning. Guess who plays today.
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Taylor Pate
10 months
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Taylor Pate
3 years
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Taylor Pate
3 years
I’m gonna need to see the front of that jersey.
@antworst
ant
3 years
It has arrived 😈
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Taylor Pate
2 years
YOU CAN'T THROW ELBOWS ON ALPEREN SENGUN
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Good morning. The two legends finally met yesterday (and I was there too).
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Taylor Pate
1 year
Jalen Green hit the classic Carmelo Anthony pass.
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Taylor Pate
4 years
Wow, we're being copied now. This is the pinnacle.
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Taylor Pate
2 years
YOU'RE WELCOME
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Taylor Pate
2 years
Had a dream Jalen Green was returning.
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