Ben Stephens
@stephens_ben
Followers
9K
Following
34K
Media
25K
Statuses
164K
Writer/editor. US/UK. He/him. Born at 331ppm of CO2. Still hanging in there with Twitter, but definitely keeping a clear eye on the exits at all times.
Joined February 2009
We live in this vital, and narrowing, window of time where (a) we clearly understand the full scope of what we are doing to the planet and see what its consequences will be, and (b) there is still time to do something about it. Get to work. #ExtinctionRebellion
59
75
336
Fascinating little life hack, for doing percentages:. x% of y = y% of x. So, for example, if you needed to work out 4% of 75 in your head, just flip it and and do 75% of 4, which is easier.
531
7K
19K
Two Londoners, one armed with a fire extinguisher and the other with a narwhal tusk, take on a knife-wielding terrorist on London Bridge.
381
3K
16K
This is the best tweet of all time.
Ok then, what’s one of the best. This is still one of my faves.
11
585
11K
@GretaThunberg I wonder when Ted Cruz will figure out that Paris and Pittsburgh are both on the same planet, and that it is in serious trouble.
77
291
9K
@SocialWorkItOut @RightsOfWoman I'm so sorry. Here in the UK I send my kids off to school every single day & zero percent of my brain is wondering if this will be the day they are shot. They have never had an active shooter drill or needed a bulletproof backpack. Freedom comes in more than one flavour, America.
258
657
8K
Always inspiring to see feminists like @suzseddon out there, shittily enforcing the rules of who does and doesn't count as a woman, based solely on their appearance.
79
438
9K
@TheAndrewNadeau Hahaha. Yeah. How on earth could anyone have prepared for crazy left-field curveballs like. “What will you do for the economy?”.“What is your plan for the Middle East and Ukraine?”.“What is your stance on abortion?”.
30
148
9K
@Deberhardt1331 @RinainDC @KFILE Adorable that you believe this. Easier to just swallow bullshit than to think for yourself, isn’t it.
26
56
7K
@MayorofLondon Ah it's a shame London isn't packed w. creative artists who've had a really rough year and could've used both the money and the exposure this would provide, while also being a brilliant showcase for the city's diversity, pride and passion. (Also, these are shit. You've been had).
28
244
5K
@Annfollowstruth @GretaThunberg I knew, without even needing to look, that you would be a proud, self-proclaimed Christian.
83
44
4K
I laughed out loud when @mrjamesob played the audio of @NatalieElphicke in PMQs:. "Dover is once again beset by miles of traffic jams. NOT because of Brexit. ". My head really hurts. NOT because I ran headfirst into a wall, but because the wall was so stubborn and intransigent.
75
568
4K
Utter brain-rot. Whenever someone says 'TERF is the new punk', all I hear is, 'PLEASE let me be considered cool even though I have the same views as Donald Trump, Katie Hopkins, Tucker Carlson, Vladimir Putin, GB News, LozFox, the Daily Mail and the Taliban.'
526
503
4K
Caller: "We should trust David Attenborough over Greta Thunberg because he's travelled all over the world!".James O'Brien: "So has Lisa Stansfield but we wouldn't trust her views on climate change.".@mrjamesob.
78
300
4K
@baddestmamajama "I'm really glad my unhappy parents stayed together for my sake.".- Nobody, ever. Like, not one single time.
10
237
4K
Ugh, train strikes – this Labour government has to go. <Touches earpiece>. Ah, I have just been informed that the Tories have actually been in power for 12 years.
12
428
3K
@GretaThunberg Honestly I think it's a case of 'He's too smart not to know this, but he is counting on the fact that millions of his followers don't know it.'. Another classic example of the contempt in which conservative politicians hold the people who look up to them.
44
126
3K
@mrjamesob "I feel like a library is being burned down by people who can't read.". Best description I've read of Brexit, said by a Brit living in the EU.
38
679
3K
@JuliaHB1 You mean you don't watch and listen to EVERY SINGLE THING the BBC puts out??. You know who else that applies to?. Everyone.
11
25
3K
@cmaddenphoto @zenminivan @SocialWorkItOut @RightsOfWoman Yeah. Sandy Hook was kind of a watershed moment for America. From the perspective of the rest of the world, it's just utterly baffling that nothing changed.
66
128
2K
Seems everyone on Twitter has collectively decided that Hamilton was bad actually and that Moana, Encanto and In The Heights don't all have incredible songs in them. Which is weird.
81
126
3K
@MIAuniverse 🎵 All I wanna do is. <encourage>.<you>.<to>.<learn>.<something>.<about>.<stuff>.<you>.<claim>.<to>.<understand>. *cash register sound*.
18
56
2K
Truss & Co are particularly keen to go after 'podcasts' and 'Twitter', painting them as insidious enemies of their project, and it's not hard to see that they are especially afraid of these two things as they are areas of (reasonably) free speech that are hard to crack down on.
44
404
2K
My first job was washing dishes in a restaurant in my town. As a result, I have no choice but to have the same views on all matters as the owners of that restaurant, for the rest of my life.
31
168
3K
Would be fascinated to hear a debate between the guy who tweeted 7m ago and the guy who tweeted 6m ago.
19
340
2K
@KateofLate8 So what's the childhood household income cutoff where you go from being ok with trans people vs. wanting to marginalise and deny them basic rights? . Or is it more of a sliding scale?.
20
34
2K
I said "woman" and now I'm in jail. I'm tweeting from jail. This place is filling up fast. We're all very sad and scared.
17
69
2K
@nhannahjones Talking about "the color barrier" as if it were this mysterious, naturally occuring phenomenon, rather than an impediment erected by America against its own people.
16
120
2K
@OzodaM Cool. Thanks for helping get people enthusiastic about maths. You won't believe this, but a lot of people find mathematicians rather smug and patronising. Crazy, right?.
17
23
2K
@matthaig1 UK Govt: "Get out there and get back to all the things you've been missing!". UK ppl: <nervously> "You sure?". Govt: "Of course, go for it!". Ppl: "Ok, if you insist.". <Few weeks later>. Govt: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??".
5
400
2K
@suzseddon I'm sure you think this is some kind of shitty slam-dunk, but personally I'm glad to see them looking so happy. I hear they're expecting their first child. Good for them!. Anyway, read your replies and reflect on the kinds of people who are on your 'side' here.
3
16
2K
@IndieWire Greetings from the UK where we watch all the same movies and TV and yet have basically zero gun deaths every year. Guess how we do it. (It's a really obvious answer, actually.).
34
107
2K
Meanwhile, these two lovelies have been together since 2012 and are expecting their first child.
7
30
2K
The British narrative: "Who could have known that Jimmy Savile was, in fact, a sex criminal?". Savile, for decades, looking directly into camera: "I am a sex criminal. Committing sex crimes is my favourite thing to do.".
29
210
2K
Since it's Groundhog Day, I thought I'd repost the moment when Stephen Tobolowsky (NED RYERSON!) responded to my tweet praising his execution of the perfect spin-and-pratfall, when Bill Murray punches him out.
27
247
2K
@MayorofLondon (Plus, Hockney is a Yorkshireman who spent much of his life living in California and now lives in Normandy – not really someone you associate with London, either as a person or an artist.).
8
41
2K
@Winged_Wrench @joanna_louise0 No, she is pointing out that there is a pandemic on and swaggering dipshits like Fox are going to get people killed -- people whose deaths she will be present for, while he won't.
2
8
2K
@DrAllyLouks Alternatively, maybe a podcast in which you talk to other academics whose specialism is very specific (and could even be the object of online mockery) and you get into the details of why they study it and how it could be beneficial/interesting.
15
17
2K
@_Floodlight @docrocktex26 When ppl on the right say "The country is in flames!" they're talking about a clip they saw of a burning mattress somewhere in Portland a few weeks ago. When ppl on the left say it, they're referring to the fact that a huge portion of the actual country is in actual flames.
7
255
2K
@IlhanMN Right now there's a group of Americans, unknown to each other, just living their lives, maybe watching the news with their families and feeling shock at another mass shooting. This group of people doesn't know it yet, but they are the victims of the *next* mass shooting.
84
462
2K
@djbradshaw64 And meanwhile Allison Pearson has to wake up tomorrow and be Allison Pearson all over again. Exhausting. Good stuff, Dave. You did nothing wrong.
5
23
2K
Reminder: if you wouldn't have sought Eric Clapton's medical advice two years ago, there's no reason to start now.
35
163
1K
Oh, and for those wondering, here's the narwhal tusk in happier times. Unclear from this pic which one was used to foil the terror attack.
29
229
2K
Was listening to a Bo Burnham interview and he was asked about gender identity and he just said "I'd like to not talk about that topic because I don't know enough about it & I don't think the two of us are the people who should be sounding off on it." Remember this is an option.
6
172
2K
@Independent "OK Graham, let's try this one more time. The opportunities you have for work now are SMALL – the opportunities for work you *used to have* are FAR AWAY.".
39
180
1K
@zoeinthecities A whole lot of people who loved Zone of Interest when they thought it was an anti-Nazi movie seem rather shocked to discover it's actually an anti-genocide movie.
6
136
2K
@DonaldJTrumpJr Did you read the piece? I'm guessing you didn't. If you had, you might have learned something, empathized with the plight of people different from you, maybe even changed your mind about a subject and decided to take action to help. But sure, cackling snark is fun too.
47
40
1K
Right-wing doofuses are discovering the scientific method and it's adorable.
20
138
1K
@Parkour_Lewis Also a note for the “Good comedy punches up, bad comedy punches down” peeps – sometimes great comedy isn’t really punching anyone?.
9
16
2K
@markjenkinsonmp @UKLabour Yeah, this Labour government needs to go. As a country we can't take much more of th-. <Touches earpiece>. - Ah, I'm being informed that the Conservatives have been in power for the past 12 years.
1
69
1K
To everyone saying "Why are all these women coming out of the woodwork now?" maybe spare a thought for what it was like for them to be *in* the woodwork for all these years. #VirginiaGuiffre .#PrinceAndew .#Panorama.
29
182
1K
@AP If Biden has a problem with people turning violent, damaging property, breaking windows, etc., he's going to absolutely flip when he finds out about Gaza.
7
101
1K
@NRATV @davidhogg111 @stinchfield1776 If you're more offended by swearing than you are by 90 gun deaths a day, might be time to check those priorities, m'dudes.
12
66
1K
@washingtonpost The wording of this headline really is twisting itself into pretzels to avoid just saying "Scott Adams goes on racist rant and destroys his own reputation.".
9
53
1K
From the latest episode of Alan Partridge – a piece about the SAS. Check out the edit at the very end. #ThisTimeWithAlanPartridge
25
147
1K
Chilling audio of Steve Bannon (@mrjamesob @LBC) praising Russia for standing firm in the face of wokeness, clearly trying to link widespread homophobia and transphobia with some kind of strength, rather than the fear, insecurity and weakness it so obviously is.
25
179
1K
@igorvolsky @erupton @SenFeinstein Here in the UK my kids went back to school this week, and zero percent of my brain was wondering if this would be the year they are shot dead. They've never had an active shooter drill, and have no need for bulletproof backpacks. Freedom comes in many forms, is what I am saying.
48
196
1K
@SailorSammy93 Brits regularly show up for American movies based on SNL skits we have never seen, or biopics of people like Mr Rogers who have never appeared on UK TV screens.
158
7
1K
@RollingStone Oh man, if you think *his* life was marred, you're not going to believe what happened to Lana Clarkson's life.
5
48
1K
@menace2snacks @ChrisPalmerNBA Also, let's just say a quick prayer for the person who sat amid the nuclear fire and patiently uploaded the video to social media while their skin was melting off their body.
9
28
1K
@DavidWohl Gun-lovers: "If more people had guns that guy would have been shot sooner.". Me: "If more people had guns that guy would have HAD A GUN.".
18
50
1K
@Deberhardt1331 @RinainDC @KFILE Here's a quick breakdown of the bullshit you swallowed, just in case you want to avoid embarrassing yourself on a public forum again.
8
50
1K
If you read today that the "founder of a leading mental health charity" is telling Meghan Markle to "stop playing the victim," just bear in mind that this is the founder in question: Marjorie Wallace, who has decades-long ties to the royals.
64
376
1K
@Shell Hey remember when you paid $15 million to the families of executed Nigerian environmental activists, including Ken Saro Wiwa, after they sued you for your role in their arrests and deaths?.
6
79
1K
@Nigel_Farage Hahaha, nope, just the Regular State – gatherin' evidence and prosecutin' crimes. It's kinda their whole deal.
14
28
1K
@jw_howard @davenewworld_2 If a group of people are being institutionally discriminated against for something that is outside their control, that is very different from a disagreement. Do you see that?.
5
12
1K
@probaconspiracy @JoeyMannarinoUS I love how Republicans are so terrified that they keep sharing stuff about Walz and Harris that just makes them seem even more appealing. Please start ranting about how Walz made sure kids in his state could eat lunch at school. That scoundrel!.
3
24
1K