teen vampire, aged 40
@starswheeled
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“He did a restraining order on me so I bought him a Jeep Grand Cherokee to prove I loved him.” tankie for daenerys. this is my fourth account.
Joined October 2020
This is my essence.
@cheryltunts where are you going teddy.u in an old man mask putting on a cloak with a basket of raw meat: out.
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Lily-Rose Depp is complaining abt people calling her a nepotism kid when she’s 5’2” and walking for Chanel lmao GIRL.
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Angelina Jolie being like the most A list actress alive despite 95% of her filmography being shit from a butt is why she is an icon and a legend.
when the actor can actually act but their filmography is awful.
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“We’re not all under God’s umbrella? That’s not necessarily my favorite."” This is so fucking funny.
Kenan Thompson says Morgan Wallen's #SNL walk-off exit "felt so abrupt" and questions the singer's "God's Country" post: "What are you trying to say?". “I don’t know what goes through people’s minds when they decide to do stuff like that. I don’t know if he understood the
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It’s so funny that the leaked Sony emails revealed that everyone in Hollywood is pure evil except Rooney Mara who is super polite and Channing Tatum who is exactly like u would expect.
Also, Channing Tatum was a legend for this Sony leaked email. Man’s hilarious
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“You will be bored of him in two years and we’ll be interesting forever.”.
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There was a tweet a few days ago like “women, the best thing you can do is marry a man who is nice but dumber than you and manipulate him into getting your way” and I cannot stress enough to not do that bc it is impossible to put into words what it’s like to constantly argue with.
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Kamala just said she’s gonna make sure we have the “strongest most lethal fighting force in the world” WHAT.
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It’s so fucking funny that when he doesn’t show up for Boy’s Night they’re like where the fuck is he and then we see him doing necrophilia. Love him.
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idk the guy Pearce/Spacey shit is just breaking my heart. Pearce saying Spacey harassed him relentlessly and he thought he was overreacting and then realizing decades later that it was sexual harassment and breaking down crying over that is gutting me. Fuck spacey.
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I saw Nosferatu again and Thomas haters are not seeing heaven I’m sorry he went thru the worst 48hrs known to MAN and told the nuns he couldn’t hang out w them bc he made a promise to his wife And then he saw Ellen be possessed drooling eyes rolling around yelling and said ILY.
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A moron who thinks they’re smart especially when that idiot is a man who makes more money than u do and thinks that makes him valid.
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The painfully slow head swivel is the funniest physical acting I’ve ever seen in my life.
Case in point. This show is often at its best when it's a dark comedy.
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Sorry that an 18 year old girl dying of sepsis while her parents beg the doctors to do something to help her and they can’t because they’d go to fucking prison isn’t a serious enough issue for you.
if adolf hitler was protecting abortion rights and gay marriage the holocaust would've been alright.
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Did Disney hire extra security for John boyega/kelly Marie Tran/daisy Ridley/Moses Ingram/Brie Larson when they were getting flooded with hate jw.
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Lily-rose Depp’s lived experiences include begging her father to get help for his alcoholism, stay with Amber bc Amber made him a better father and her father letting her 24 year old bf live with her when she was 14. So let’s discuss those experiences.
It’s a known fact that a judges 51% opinion changes your lived experiences… 😂😭.
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In Anastasia 1997 when she specifically remembers her grandmother bc of the peppermint oil her grandmother used and she says when she was a child, she spilled some on the carpet and she used to lay on the carpet and miss her grandmother 🥺.
I would *love* to hear everyone’s recommendations for references to smell in pop culture (tv, film, art, memes etc). Bonus points if it has an ethical angle, but certainly not essential.
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I love the tweets like “what would YOU DO if you noticed someone shoplifting” like first of all I don’t notice anything I’m oblivious when grocery shopping I listen to The Beach Boys and operate on autopilot you could kill a person in front of me and I wouldn’t see it.
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I’m so sorry to Harry Potter post in 2024 but the way Ginny Weasley was suddenly a quidditch all-star when she just played by herself in the backyard and is suddenly beating ppl (cho Chang) w: actual years of experience was one of the most shameless things JKR did in those books.
@starswheeled no because i’m still mad about how fleur and cho were treated.
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absolutely no one on team Dragonstone remembers that criston exists and I think that’s beautiful
“what would daemon think if he heard rhaenyra’s childhood best friend and her first romantic partner were hooking up?”. matt smith: (…) i don’t think daemon really cares to be honest. i don’t think he’s really interested in that. he’s always just had eyes for one person.”
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Thomas is not bland and Ellen clearly loves him more than Orlok DID YOU WATCH THE GODDAMN MOVIE????.
The wild thing about Babyratu is that Babygirl and Nosferatu are so thematically similar that they earn the nickname - both are about women dealing with societal expectation and feeling shamed for their sexual desires, and bland partners who can’t compete with a dominant fuckboy.
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Logged on today and Nosferatu apparently is beating ppl’s asses… it is not a subtle or complicated movie and yet the worlds finest are logging on, convinced Thomas signed over Ellen willingly and that she was sincere when she said Thomas could never satisfy her.
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I supported Blake even when I thought she put him in the basement unprovoked.
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tbqh I do think Harry Potter had a really weird “not like other girls” 90s and 2000s “feminism” thing where the girly girls were seen as frivolous and stupid and that includes lavender brown but tbh by the end of that series, she was just killing off any third-tier and tertiary.
hey btw, JK Rowling has always had a weird thing about women who don't fit her specific standards of womanhood. lavender brown gets broken up with by ron and eaten by a werewolf because she's too girly and clingy.
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WHEN COOPER TELLS HARRY HE WANTS THE BEST BOOKHOUSE BOY TO HELP HIM STORM ONE EYED JACKS AND HARRY SAYS “HE’LL MEET U AT THE ROADHOUSE” AND COOPER SHOWS UP AND HARRY IS THERE AND COOP SAYS WHERES MY GUY AND HARRY SAYS YOURE LOOKIN AT HIM AND COOPER JUST BEAMS.
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ngl between the intimacy coordinator stuff and men downplaying abortion as a suburban white woman thing… I am not feeling really great abt male feminists/leftists rn tbh.
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My sister is telling me she’s too old to relate to HBO Girls which means I can’t tell her she’s the most Marnie person who ever lived.
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I’m sorry if u don’t think Blake lively banishing him to the basement is absolutely hysterical… we are not on the same wavelength.
Justin Baldoni just showed proof that Blake Lively never even read the book he was so passionate about bringing to life - yet she took over the movie production and put Justin in the basement at his own premier!. Blake Lively is such a useless scumbag.
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I haaaaaaaate this soooooo much, you can criticize the democrats and how Harris is funding a genocide and not listening to her base without acting like abortion is an insignificant issue and pretending that only white women are affected by having our rights rolled back!!!!.
Palestinian women are being forced to have C sections without anesthesia meanwhile i’m supposed to vote for this so suburban white women can have abortions?. Go fuck yourself.
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It’s a testament to how much Tom loved the source material and Lestat that he gives this performance opposite a plank of wood.
just to give yall an idea of how much of an upgrade jacob anderson's louis is, this is how brad pitt was playing white-louis getting mad in the iwtv movie
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Watching Mrs. Doubtfire and thinking of my fave tweet
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Absolute godawful misogynist crap but it is also the coolest movie ever…. many such cases.
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@offbeatorbit I feel like (to me) it’s not even like bc it’s feminine, it’s a certain kind of super online speak that makes it extra unbearable.
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I think adult Catholic converts are the subgroup of ppl I hate the most in the world tbh, I just always think abt Mulaney’s joke when his mother asked if his jewish gf was gonna convert to Catholicism and he was like “what am I gonna do, ask her& then say ‘don’t google us btw’”.
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I need to see this immediately.
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The way they adapted Claudia and how her struggle has gone from needing a caretaker bc she’s a perpetual 5 year old to just wanting a soulmate bc she’s so crushingly lonely is my fave aspect of the show.
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No The Cut piece will top the bitch who chucked a taped-up shoebox full off $50k into the back of a truck and then wrote an entire article saying she’s smarter than the rest of us bc she could never be scammed except this one time.
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She wrote the screenplay adaptation of the novel. The line does not appear in the novel. Therefore, she did write it. It helps to actually read the book before looking like a moron online.
dog do you think she wrote little women?.
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Hercules is great bc Hercules is canonically 18 and acts like it but Susan Egan’s performance makes Meg come off like a world weary 40 year old.
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Also the shit like “he only left me alone when Simon Baker was on set bc he had a bigger crush on Simon” like Jesus Christ that set sounds horrific for everyone involved.
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@entmoots I can't stop reading this lmao imagine doing a very nice and measured gentle request and having someone condescendingly call you bestie.
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@_allyriadayne I know when Rhaenyra was like “why would anyone do that to Helaena” he was like who in the FUCK is Helaena.
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I never watched this show but someone told me the main characters were supposed to be Italian immigrants and the show runner changed them to confederate soldiers for no reason and I think abt that constantly.
also no hate to folks who love the vampire diaries but i feel like tvd fans who act like iwtv- a queer show starring a black main character- is inherently inferior to an ip that's notoriously antiblack and mistreats almost all its marginalized characters is a pretty bad look
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The Zodiac having an old man friend who constantly posted pics of them hanging out on FB and captioning those photos with “ZODIAC?” is the funniest thing that could have happened this year.
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Grease down the drain, undercooked burger, insane combination of ingredients, chef hat, piles of shredded cheese as a side dish… this woman is my god now.
i have watched this no fewer than ten times in a row now i am just. mesmerized
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Will never forget my dad saying “he’s gonna go over the pole” and I said don’t be stupid and he did… the absolute mad lad did it.
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shia labeouf tormented mia wasikowska so much on the set of lawless that she was begging her agent to get her off the film
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tbh I actually ENJOY a decent number of her movies but I only think a handful are any good.
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Ellen says she’s too damaged and Thomas will hate her if she reveals her innermost thoughts and Thomas is literally like lol babe I was held hostage by the worlds most disgusting freak, I will NEVER hate you.
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My mom thinks paddington 4 should be Paddington gets lost in Las Vegas which is sending me into orbit like why would he go to Vegas… why would u send him to Vegas ….
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My most controversial take is that I think ppl are projecting a lot onto lily-rose depp WRT her dad and their relationship and I don’t think she owes anyone a public display of support or denouncement of him… I think we should all mind our own business w them.
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Sometimes I think abt miles teller being rly sick&the dr being like yeah you got jet fuel in ur bloodstream making top gun so miles teller went to tom cruise& said hey tom cruise I have jet fuel in my bloodstream and Tom cruise doesn’t miss a beat & says “yeah I was born with it”.
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I’m sorry, it’s SO FUNNY that Kal Penn got a job w the Obama admin and the House team had his character commit suicide to write him out of the show.
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Per @hagsplaining
Robert Eggers is set to direct ‘WERWULF’ as his next film. Described as a werewolf horror movie set in 13th century England with dialogue true to the time period. In theaters on December 25, 2026. (Source:
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I’m sorry but the shift from being a kid and getting bashed over the head with “reduce recycle reuse”, turn off the water when you brush your teeth, no single use items, etc. to a bunch of feeble minded worms saying “I use ChatGPT for emails” and shit what is HAPPENING.
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Do u ever think abt how one of the most insane late stage JKR potter decisions was to make nagini a South Korean lady trapped as a snake.
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I think the funniest read of Grace in iwtv is “oh she hates Louis bc he’s gay😕” when she doesn’t TRUST Louis bc. He is a vampire who doesn’t come out during the day and kicked her door to smithereens and chucked her infant son on the ground bc he almost ate him.
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The Olivia Hussey news is devastating knowing she spent her final years being scammed by lawyers and psychics and realizing Zefferelli didn’t protect her as well as she thought she did on the set of Romeo and Juliet. I hope she’s at peace.
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They were so important bc they fall under the best ship category which is “he thinks she is SO COOL”.
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I screamed out my asshole that real Rashid chucked that newspaper at Daniel and bolted btw.
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I am seeing ppl deride Nosferatu in favor of Bram Stoker’s Dracula and I am going to vomit blood do not compare two gorgeous gorgeous girls against each other.
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@wongkarmarx Wait omg lmao i didn’t know about Andrew Garfield that’s so cute! But YES LOL so many executives were so shitty about the actors, I remember Amy Pascal and Scott Rudin saying Angelina Jolie was a spoiled brat bc she was going to film school for her Cleopatra project, Clint.
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Just busted up laughing at Lestat making his extremely depressed bf a vampire and when he can’t handle the existential horrors, he kills himself and instead of reflecting, Lestat immediately falls in love w the next extremely depressed man he meets and makes HIM a vampire. King.
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I’m still thinking abt Armand torturing the absolute Christ out of Daniel and then asking him in this little kid voice “do u find me boring?”.
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Remember when Sophie turner admitted that she got the X-men role bc of her ig following lol.
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IWTV SPOILERS. ////. I think Armand and Daniel banged and Armand made Daniel a vampire and that’s why Daniel is so mad at him. Bc Armand hit and quit.
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I’m sorry lol I’m gonna be real: all of this reads as pretty neutral to me and I don’t think it says anything abt her that she has fond memories of her dad and his family except that being human is complicated.
@fateme_r97 @HoseiniMeli Just some things Lily-Rose Depp has said about her father in 2024. Johnny Depp was also wearing an unreleased ‘Jocelyn’ wristband in court in 2022 that only his daughter could’ve given him.
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His dating history is iconic tho I grant him that… king of pulling babes
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@theoceanblooms "“My body reacts very strongly to stress,” Jolie said. “My blood sugar goes up and down. I suddenly had Bell’s palsy six months before my divorce.”" oh my god.
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THOMAS ENTERED A FREAK OFF WITHOUT BLINKING.
i thought id be obsessed with orlok but now im obsessing over having a husband like thomas hutter instead… god helps me
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Nothing on planet earth will ever top Louis and Armand having the worlds ugliest screaming match and deliberately trying to hurt each other as bad as they can while Daniel dies slowly in the corner from multiple internal injuries.
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In 30 rock when Jack admits to Liz that he waited 8 mins to call 9-1-1 after he backed over his mom.
what is the FUNNIEST scene in a sitcom/tv show?.
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The show leaning into how the worst thing for a vampire is to be alone to the point that Claudia joins the coven despite them abusing her constantly and Lestat and Armand horrifically abusing Louis so he won’t leave them and Daciana self-immolating bc of her isolation… it’s good.
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Louis was in a 70 year situationship out of pure spite I’m honestly sobbing he’s the best character I’ve ever met in my life.
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SPOILERS. THOMAS’S LOVE CANONICALLY FREED HER FROM ORLOK WHEN THEY FIRST GOT MARRIED AND ITS BC ORLOK IS JEALOUS THAT HE CRASHES OUT AND DEMANDS SHE RETURN TO HIM????? Everything Ellen does is to save Thomas DO NOT SPEAK ON HIM.
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i am SO SORRY to do age gap discourse today but idk imagine you're a 45 year old man and you are friends with dane cook and dane cook is like "can my gf come hang out with us?" and she's fucking 18 years old. like. what do u talk about?.
Dane Cook Is Engaged to Girlfriend Kelsi Taylor After 5 Years of Dating
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@Srirachachau When Bobby gets dumped by Marie and Peggy is like "well I guess your love WASN'T as strong as mine and your father's" holy shit.
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I’m obsessed w the version of aemond that lives in ewans head.
Ewan Mitchell on Aemond Targaryen in #HouseOfTheDragon Season 2:. “I don't think we've seen anyone as insidious as Aemond in Westeros. He’s going to play you like a violin & you're either with him or against him. You can either be on Rhaenyra's side or you can stay in one piece.”
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This is still my favorite article of all time I’m sorry I need this to be true bc it was SOOOOOOOO CHEF KISS.
Everyone who thinks they're too smart, too financially aware, too tech-savvy to have this happen to them is wrong. Sorry.
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I actually think normies can handle iwtv better than terminally online dorks tbh.
JUST IN: Netflix in the US is getting a bunch of AMC shows!. PREACHER, FEAR THE WALKING DEAD, and INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE are among the confirmed shows coming.
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sorry but it's kind of funny that this and the entire london trial have been him and his witnesses lying their asses off and then text messages being like "actually".
Jurors Shown Johnny Depp’s Graphic and Violent Text Messages
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Sam Reid said there should be trigger warnings in front of every episode of the gay vampire show to warn real ppl abt the abuse depicted in the show and everyone is saying he’s weird and “downplaying abuse” bc he said maybe a FICTIONAL CHARACTER didn’t depict something perfectly.
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Also like it is critical 2 remember that Lestat forgives Claudia for trying to kill him and says “I would’ve done the same thing”.
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I got in trouble at work bc customers will be like “I’m not techy at all haha lol” and I would say “it’s not techy, it is entering your information and uploading a file” but also…. am I wrong lol.
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ngl seeing ppl say “I had to read the post ep interviews to understand the s2 finale” is so weird to me… it made perfect sense… like just let the tale seduce you and divorce the show from the books, it’s not inland empire.
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@BonerWizard The one leg stretched out and the other one dangling is absolutely killing me ommgggggg he is soooooo carefree.
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lmaoooooo I can’t believe the guy who hates his wife and newborn deleted, he should’ve quadrupled down.
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I mean, respectfully, what is he gonna do… give Herr Knock a note that’s like “I can’t go go Romania bc my wife says no :)”.
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It’s honestly gonna be so funny if real Rashid betrays Armand too like ansowkdoakdkansj that whole penthouse is fed up w him.
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@ycsm1n One time I was spelling something and I said “T for…. ” and blanked and finally said “Tom hardy” and the guy I was helping was like crying laughing.
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