Sophie_A
@sophiebip1982
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A wriggly head, trying to work it all out. Got ill, got well, got ill again. Can now describe myself as an ex-social worker and career changer. #mentalhealth
Joined September 2021
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Psych words are some of the loneliest places in the world. It baffles me that sometimes there is culture where staff are paid to interact with you just don't and hang around in 'staff gangs' gossiping about their stuff. Just don't. Interact with patients. Make them feel valued
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Gp surgery made a referral to physio due to clear issue with hip. On said referral -my whole mh history in all its glory. Why do physio's need to know this? Sometimes information is shared glibly and without thought. Mh history not relevant to hip ffs.
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Trigger warning suicide attempt. I want to shout from the roof tops how badly I have been failed by notts healthcare trust. This is what happens when you disclose an overdose. And she didn't get night staff to call me.
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Very proud that I am returning to work. Not as a social worker but as a part time bar tender. Excited to try new things and get my head away from sad experiences. Most of all I am proud of the stage of recovery I am in. Bipolar is a bitch but you can still thrive with support
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I have started a new project whilst I am off work to look at developing care packages for those who find themselves in hospital following a suicide attempt or self-harm.
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Thank you so much for everyone and their supportive comments re my recording of the crisis team. It has been hugely validating and helped stop the process of their gaslighting in its tracks. I was mixed about whether to post. But we have to fight injustices and highlight poor
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So my much needed appointment with my cpn was cancelled today. Can’t be helped but was soo tempted to spend the day in bed. But have managed to wash hair and put clothes on. Doesn’t sound a lot but a great achievement for me today.
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People with mental ill health are often viewed as weak and fragile. This is such a fallacy. We are the strongest people I know. We have to fight everyday to have a semblance of a normal life. We are tenacious, resourceful and some of the most robust people you will ever meet.
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Have found out that I have got through to the next stage for the career change job I applied for. Very shocked as didn’t think I stood a chance.
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So sad to hear of the death of another in our mental health community. I hope learning and contrition can prevail. But I know it won't. Just empty apologies and things just remaining as they are. This is an emergency. Things need to change for mental health patients.
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After a two month depressive period, with one hospital admission and my life being turned upside down, I am finally getting my joie to vivre back and it feels bloody wonderful.
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For everyone saying- you were defensive and swore on the crisis team recordings, that is true. I was not perfect. I was in a mixed episode. It makes me agitated and difficult to soothe. But it is a clear warning sign for me of risk and that I am unwell as this is very far apart
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Trigger warning s/h. Today I want to celebrate my achievements. The first photo was taken 3 yrs ago. The sadness in my eyes is palpable. Days later I made my first attempt on my life. The 2nd is taken last weekend with genuine joy in my spirit and recovery at my fingertips.
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The first call was at 8pm. No ambulance, no compassion, no care. I could have been supported and persuaded to seek help if just a hint of kindness was shown. This is 336am call as nobody had called me. Devoid of compassion and left without care.
@Rebeccasmt
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It's my 42nd birthday today. As I get ready to celebrate with my family, I am reflecting on my achievements and all I have conquerered this year. I may have lost so much but I am here, I have a future and my inner tenacity will make things happen.
#mentalhealthawarenessweek
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Totally embarrassed that this article has been written by a sw. PD diagnoses already have so much stigma and negative framing. Shocking that he equates PD with risk. My eyes have been opened by the MH community and anyone diagnosed with PD I am sorry on behalf of my profession
Extremely poor framing from Sanctuary Personnel News here, stating diagnosis of dementia or personality disorder automatically presents a risk factor to social workers. Stigmatising, dangerous and wrong.
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Proud my article has been published. It may be slightly controversial to some in the Sw community. But this was genuinely my real life objective experiences.
'As a social worker I was made to feel shame for my bipolar diagnosis' - Community Care
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@Rebeccasmt
@NottsHealthcare
The worst part of this is that the woman I am talking to did not record in her written notes that I had called, did not record that I had taken an overdose so I spent 7.5 agonising hours defecating and vomiting in my house, alone and without support. And then when I rang again
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Have decided I am going to push myself for a lunch that has been booked for months. Really very anxious about going but determined to leave my house. Have actually brushed my hair and put some makeup on.
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And if the patients don't want to talk, have a think about what you are talking about. Talking about gin or hot tubs or holidays whilst patients are stuck on a ward with only a meal to look forward to is beyond insensitive
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It would be easy to dismiss whether Dr Jessica Taylor had consent to use victim's stories in her books as a bit of twitter gossip. I don't see it that way. I see it as women who have already been the victim of horrific abuse being traumatised by an unethical process.
Another lie…
I wasn’t receiving any support when I contacted her in 2018.
She didn’t check or know this Information.
(The complaint in the experience about the organisation was from when I was 18)
I began receiving specialist support in September 2019.
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@SameiHuda
My psychiatrist has saved my life. I have huge respect for psychiatrists. The anti-psychiatrity movement seem to only listen and process testimony that fits their narrative. But from someone who has massively benefited from psychiatry, I want to thank you for all you do.
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I have just submitted my request to give up my SW registration. It feels like the right time both in terms of my desire to make a full recovery and the imminent publication of the care review. The brief snippets that have been leaked indicate very clearly to me, that the SW world
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For those questioning why I recorded crisis team calls if I was so unwell: i didn't. I got them through a sar request as all crisis team calls are recorded.
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🧵 on giving up social work. I am grateful to those who have shared my joy at giving up my professional registration as a social worker. As many have rightly reflected, it was a hard and long-thought out decision and made with a heavy heart. For clarity, I haven't won the lottery
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Mental health awareness is opening your eyes to serious mental illness and being aware of the absolute deficits and cruelty in mental health services. I am lucky to have a great CPN but have been failed by many other professionals. The tenacity that people living with Smi show
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Reflecting on some of the glib, benign language that undermines the reality of bipolar. Gp said to me during a period of hypomania 'we all have ups and downs", work coach yesterday said "we all like routines". But comparing
#bipolar
to the 'norm' is not helpful.
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Two months without smoking a cigarette. Feeling confident I can carry on.
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#WorldBipolarDay
is a day to celebrate our achievements and mourn are losses. The last year has been a challenge and frankly it is a miracle I am still here. I am in such a great place and long may it continue with the meds I am on. Bipolar has some many faces and some many
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When the going gets tough you use what you have learned in bipolar group and fight and do the opposite to what your brain is telling you. I washed my hair, put some makeup on and went our for Sunday lunch. It was tough but I did it! Must remember to open curtains!
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@CareQualityComm
please listen to these calls. I have tried in vein 2 alert you to what happened. You condemned
@NottsHealthcare
crisis team in your report. This was what was happening in real time whilst you were doing your inspection. I have more recordings. Please listen. Help
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Reflecting on how much being a mental health patient takes away your voice. In my professional role I am listened to and respected, as a patient I am dismissed and disbelieved - same person, just different role.
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@Shrink_at_Large
This is literally the conversation I had with my cpn yesterday. I also know my way around the MHA so it means I know the language to avoid hospital when unwell but doesn’t mean I am any safer. Being articulate and understanding some elements of your illness does not always lower
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I identify as mentally ill and I tell you what would be much more dangerous... if I didn't. My diagnosis and treatment has given me back my life and the I frustration and anger I feel for this simplistic approach is indescribable. Thank you psychiatry for saving my life.
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should be telling: telling in the sense that it is a glorious and rewarding job. But look after yourself along the way. Don't be bullied or tricked, and continue to work with your own values. Always remember in the darkest days why you chose to do the job in the first place.
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A little video about my thoughts on
#mentalhealthawarenessweek
and how the glib take on mental illness reduces the realities of those living with Smi.
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Nearly every time awful practice from mental health services is exposed, there is a small minority of mh professionals who justify and state that poor care is down to burn out and government cuts and neglect. I am the first to acknowledge that cuts have had a profound impact upon
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I have now had my Sar request fulfilled and have the calls from the crisis team in February 2024. They are revoltingly bad. They left me alone and were abjectly cruel at a time I took an overdose. I am not sure what to do with them but feel it is a wider public safety issue.
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Feeling really proud that I have just completed an application for a career job that I am really interested in. Even if I don’t get to the next stage, I have a sense of achievement and happy I had enough self-belief to complete the application xx
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Being told to cheer up by strangers is my pet peeve. Just happened at the vaccination centre. 1. I have a resting bitch face 2. I don't need to be cheerful for anyone 3. You have no idea what shit is going on in my life/ mind so back off 'buddy'
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A 🧵 on rapid cycling bipolar. I was only diagnosed last year and I am still only starting to understand the cycles that my mind takes me through. My loved ones are also learning and hang onto my hand throughout the rollercoaster ride. It does not mean that I am moody, or my mood
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Have an appointment with the job centre today which always causes anxiety. My greatest wish is to get back to work and be productive. But I have to be so careful of pitfalls and likely causes of relapse. I hope the 'coach' is disability sensitive and can help rather than hinder.
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Just had a occupational health conversation where she said "you are bipolar" I said "no I have bipolar, I am not bipolar". Why is it so hard to get language right ffs?
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Mental health professionals' awareness of mixed mood episodes needs to improve. It is an incredibly dangerous stage of
#bipolar
but often missed because of the negative symptoms associated with the mood state. I dread mixed mood states for many reasons. It literally feels
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Do you know what? My cpn is a bloody good egg and I am lucky to have her and I know many people are not as lucky as me. But feeling thankful in this regard.
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I think this thread is essential to read. The issue of informed consent is critical in understanding someone's ethics and professionalism. It is upsetting that Sally-Ann's motivations and integrity have been denigrated and abused by JT. Before you make your mind up about whether
It’s a long one…
I’ve had a bit of a break and feeling a lot more myself again!
Just want to clear some things up as I have every right to defend myself.
This is still ongoing and going further
The screenshots JT showed of our interactions never show me consenting to a book
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Nearly two weeks into my new gym 'regime' and loving every minute of it. Have truly fallen back in love with exercise again and keep those endorphins coming! Also 3 weeks off cigarettes. Loving the new healthier version of me!
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Thank you for the lovely birthday wishes. I had a lovely day, with super people in the glorious sunshine. I am truly blessed x
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I am in the midst of an identity crisis, learning who I am at 40. Working out what is illness and what is intrinsically me. To say it is overwhelming, is an understatement but it is also exciting. Just a wee bit confudling in the midst of this temporary mess of me.
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Bipolar has stolen the best part of two years. I am still waiting for my psych to get his shit together and get me back on lithium. But I still have hope and know that there are many good years are left for me to reclaim. It is just hard to remember. Heres to a fabulous 2023!
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🧵 re positive mental health care. Over the last two weeks I have experienced some of the most excellent gold standard mental health care that has truly made all the difference. I don’t want to ruminate on the reasons why I am now getting this care, but explain why the care is
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Having a wobbly couple of days. So hard to just treat it as a wobble and not anticipate a relapse. I've got this.
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After 3 days in bed I have managed to have a coffee in the garden
It feels like a true victory even if I am still in my pj's!
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I have gone back to eating what I please for breakfast and today it was a jacket potato with cheese and coleslaw. And do you know what? No regrets!
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sad day for those who access children services and for those who work hard within it. Sending love and support to all who will be hit hard by the report. I will take 'social worker' off my profile as I no longer identify with this profession.
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I find re-establishing my identity with myself and others after a mental health crisis to be one of the greatest battles. But I am still me. The Sophie that existed before I became unwell. It is just hard to become reacquainted with her again.
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My house has been a complete shit hole since coming out of hospital. It is so nice to get some motivation and sort it out. Now able to sit with my candles on in a cosy environment. Wish I had managed to sort it earlier!
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30 jelly cats have now arrived for thr care pacakages- just need to pop them in each package and will post by the end of the week
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Start work tomorrow. Anxious about making sure I sleep well before my first day. Is promethazine a really bad idea or should I just have a super early night and roll with the tablets?
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@miche2my
Thank you. Have an excellent cpn who tidied up and gave me some hope so that's a good ending x
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My job centre appointment went surprisingly well. She was very supportive of my plan to study a masters and encouraging about the financial assistance available so that's good and feeling relieved.
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practice if change will ever happen. Our mental health services are a disgrace and the outward cruelty endured by mental health patients on a daily basis is unbelievable. Change must happen. We must continue to talk
#mentalhealthawarenessweek
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Coming back to twitter or whatever it is called now to find one of our community has died. So saddened to learn this. Mental health support is a lottery. I have largely been blessed which has helped me to recover. Others have not been so lucky and have effectively been murdered.
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@MariaAF75
@JaneFCSupport
To be clear I haven't seen the whole report and only tiny amounts. But the section I have seen is ludicrous and dangerous. Hate how the review has been completed. It has been a duplicitous, careless and cruel process particularly for the care experienced community.
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imagined by MacAlister is one that I cannot and won't be part of. I won't read the whole document in its entirety but will rely upon my devoted twitter colleagues and friends to provide a cogent summary and analysis of issues. I have a sense that tomorrow will be a desperately
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Tw. S/h When I had taken an overdose of lithium the Notts crisis team said “this is your 4th call this evening, I am not dealing with you, I will get a night worker to call you” a night worker didn’t call. This is the level of care they provide. All calls recorded. All facts.
“Some people reported that they were told simply to distract themselves when experiencing suicidal ideation.” People get other kinds of support? That’s all I have ever been told 🙁
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Well the 3rd psychiatrist was absolutely ace. I can now put the 2nd nightmare psych out of my mind and recover from a terrible period in my life. Feel blessed to have had 2 out of 3 psychs who have been brilliant. Just sad the potato psych is still practising.
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One of the worst parts of a mh relapse is the inherent loneliness that accompanies it. Even though I am loved, it is a battle ultimately only I can fight and only I know the utter despair and depth of pain that returns. It really is an isolated battle field.
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I lost my old twitter account as I didn't login for ages. Don't worry noone has assumed my identity. I could prove it by telling everyone the name of my first childhood pet but probs wouldn't help as only limited folk know she was called Gobolino!
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Feeling just perfectly level. Probably the most level I gave felt in years. It is a revelation and I want to shout it from the rooftops as I feel my life and my true self is coming back to me.
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When I started my social work degree, one of my lecturers
@markswan52
, impressed on me the importance of social justice and the absolute necessity of challenging injustice with words, actions and example. Today we see from the press just the start of the unravelling of
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I have tucked up my egg chair in the rain. But I have an overwhelming desire to sit under the cover and hear the rain tap against the fabric. Would that be so wrong? 🤣
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Carbon monoxide alarms do save lives. Was woken up at 3am to a confusing alarm that I didn't know what it was. Was able to leave the house and turn off boiler whilst gas board came to turn of gas supply. 50 years ago without alarm, I suspect it would have been a different outcome
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And yes this thread is a subtweet and not very carefully concealed. But when bad practice is exposed, it should be seen for what it is and not justified or minimised. We deserve better and true learning will only come from contrition and absolute reflection of what is going wrong
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Having had really bad support in the past from the crisis team, I just want to reflect on how amazing they have been this week. It just indicates to me that it is all about the workers' skills and ability to build relationships:with that basic ability, anything is possible
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A lift in my mood today has come form nowhere . Hurray. Let's hope it stays steady and peaceful. Some relief from the sickening roller coaster is much needed
#bipolar
#bipolarclub
#rapidcycling
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It’s incredible how much my mood can impact on my own perception of myself. My mood seems to be lifting after 3 months. I realise now how interlinked my self-perception is intertwined with mood. Good to be able to challenge the negative narrative and give myself a break.
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Have managed to write 8000 words of my book in two days. May be utter drivel but at least I am writing and that is surely progress from where I was.
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Just been tagged in this photo of me on Facebook 10 Years ago to this day. At first I felt nostalgia, then I felt sadness that I am no longer that happy-go-lucky person. Then I felt pride that I am still that person but with so much more wisdom and humanity. I’ve got this
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For the last 3 months when collecting my script there have been supply issues. Is anyone else funding the same with psych meds? It means I have to go at least a few days cold turkey, as pharmacist not sure when ariprazole back in and national shortage. Feels really shitty to me.
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choose to ignore the plight of SA and dismiss it as just 'drama' or look into the situation and understand how horrific it has become. A full apology should be issued to SA by JT whereby JT reflects on her behaviour and understands the harm she has caused.
#IStandWithSallyAnn
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🧵I have had the best kind of care and the worst kind of care from crisis team workers. I want to share my 10 pence with tips for those who work in crisis services in the MH system. Of course we are all unique, but I think there are common themes when things go wrong. The points
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The power of a good psychiatrist is something else. With one 30 minute appointment, she has given me hope and made me feel like I have a future again/that I will get better but with time. Doctors are so powerful: for better and for worse! As I have been reminded this week.
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mh services. I also know from my own professional life that burn out is a real factor for many people who work in mental health and other related areas. But it does not excuse lack of compassion and piss poor care. If you are not well enough to work, you must stop work. If you
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Feeling 100 times better after seeing my lovely cpn who was so supportive of me and apologetic for the potato psych.
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Feeling much more confident about my employability after a super helpful session with mh employment specialist. Such a good service.
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I hate spats and bullying. But this article explains why the criticism of
@Drjesstaylor
is valid and she is rotten to the core!!
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Why should you care? Because victims' stories matter and how they are treated and managed matter. SA is in the unenviable position of not having the platform that JT has and has been so abused by the process and JT's initial denials and now attempts to gaslight her. You can
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Excited to go and meet other people living with bipolar. This is the first time since my diagnosis, 3 years ago that I have had the opportunity to meet with others. Bipolar is very isolating and grateful for events like this run by a charity to make connections.
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@CarolineJBald
They have learned nothing and keep spouting the same rhetoric they had from 10 years ago. I meet regularly with sws I used to work with a long time ago. We all say we loved the job and would go back if working conditions improved. Words like this will tip the remaining sws over
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have lost compassion and care due to the immense stressors you work under, then stop working in that area. You have other choices. The people you work for (e.g. patients) are too vulnerable to experience the contempt and utter neglect that comes from workers who have no respect
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So three and a half years since bringing my complaint to
@PHSOmbudsman
I finally have the final report. Even though they have partly upheld my complaint, I would actively discourage people from using them. It has been a dire, disorganised, harrowing shit show from the start.
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Smiling as I drink coffee in my egg chair, drinking coffee, listening to music and reflecting on the progress I have made. I feel very lucky and blessed to have had the professional and personal support to get to this place and will never take it for granted.
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shamed to keep my illness 'private'. I want an open conversation and for discussions around the realities of serous mental health illnesses to become the norm without facing any form of consequence.
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