Simon Curtis
@simoncurtis
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popstar • author • actor • sorcerer. Pre-order my debut graphic novel, THE WITCHES OF SILVERLAKE, coming May 14th, 2024.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined January 2009
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Pinned Tweet
THE WITCHES OF SILVERLAKE - volume one
Queer teens figuring out life and magic with a bloodthirsty demon on the loose in the most beautiful, dreamy Los Angeles, illustrated by the incomparable
@_mohtz
✨🔮May 14th 2024🔮✨
Pre-order here:
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Protect this child at all costs. He is the chosen one.
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cashier at Whole Foods just told she now spends her lunch breaks crying in her car trying to process how “mean and vicious” customers have been this past week...
It’s not only your obligation to look these people in the eye and say “thank you,” but to call these mean people out
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If Ariel was “supposed to be Danish” she would’ve been dodging icebergs and eating pickled herring, but alas, she was dancing to Calypso music with a Jamaican crab
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I found the cutest little frog in the bottom of my romaine lettuce tonight- it’s too cold to set him outside (27 degrees), but he’s been living in the lettuce in the fridge for several days now- does anyone know what I should do so that he doesn’t die?
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Remember when your VP of publicity pushed her finger into my chest before I got out of the limo to walk the red carpet at the VMAs and threatened me for being too gay and told me I had better “tone it down”
Because I do.
#PrideMonth
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loud sighs and side eye aren’t enough. If you witness someone being cruel to a customer service person, risking exposure every day to help YOU get basic necessities, you had better step up to the plate and speak up
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we’ve developed a horse shit culture in which customer service abuse is tolerated, ignored, and almost never questioned or called out. Employees can not defend themselves in fear of risking their jobs.
It is up to YOU to say something
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I FOUND HIM.
Here is his lettuce container on the counter, and here is where I found him (up on top of a high ass door frame)
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ooh that got me so fucking heated. This girl was so sweet and was getting choked up just telling me about this.
Do not let me catch you cussing out a cashier rn bc I will have your head on a fucking platter 😌💅🏼
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we have so much shit that needs to be completely dismantled that this virus has highlighted, and this is absolutely one of them. Managers- defend your employees. Tell shitty, hostile, irate customers to leave.
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So the day before this photo went viral, I saw him carrying this bag at Erewhon and went up to him to compliment it and ask if it was the new Andiamo bag.
“Ah you’re so sweet. Honestly I have no idea. They just send them to me!”
I am still shaken by this perfect moment
jacob elordi with his bottega amdiamo bag in los angeles yesterday
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@Caitlyn_Jenner
The absolute gall of you to come after a fellow trans person for merely existing… you have had every privilege, comfort, and opportunity afforded to you, even been spared prison after KILLING someone, and you choose to use your platform for this? A truly nauseating disgrace.
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@Damonalbarn
@taylorswift13
Also, Damon, if you’ve lost faith or feel disillusioned with the world’s current generation of prolific songwriters (which seems a bit ignorant, bitter, and snide, tbh) do yourself a favor listen to Folklore and Evermore.
The greatest living songwriter at the peak of her craft.
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update: put the remaining lettuce back inside, gave him a mason jar lid of water, and sprayed the entire container down with water. Going to leave him here in the kitchen tonight and then figure out what to do with him tomorrow. His name is Tony 😌💖
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hiding in the shower, covered in dust bunnies… I don’t know WHAT this little guy has been up to
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It is so wild to see how triggering Taylor Swift’s mere existence is to bitter, tiny, fragile men in the music industry.
@DamonAlbarn
I was such a big fan of yours until I saw this. I write ALL of my own songs. Your hot take is completely false and SO damaging. You don’t have to like my songs but it’s really fucked up to try and discredit my writing. WOW.
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Tony, graduate of the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks, is safe and healthy (and will have a proper terrarium in about twenty minutes when I get back from Petsmart 😌💖)
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Just spoke to Mark Howery, Senior Wildlife Diversity Biologist at Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation, and was able to confirm that Tony is indeed a green tree frog…
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Britney has openly said she wants to see her entire family in jail for the atrocities they’ve committed against her, including Jamie Lynn. Giving an abuser like this any sort of platform to peddle a book is not the move,
@GMA
.
WEDNESDAY |
@ABC
Exclusive:
@jamielynnspears
speaks out in her first TV interview on her personal memoir "Things I Should Have Said". What will she reveal? Don't miss the interview Wednesday only on GMA.
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I’m still looking for him. Clearly knows this is a Bravo household as he is well versed in DRAMA
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Sitting next to Ariana on her couch atm and she’s asking me to let you know that your photographer cursed and taunted her, in her own driveway, to get this pic
@PageSix
. I was there. That’s the back of my head in this photo. It was traumatic and disgustingly abusive.
Ariana Madix feasts on McDonald’s, flips the bird after Tom Sandoval split
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he was so dehydrated and shriveled I was worried he’d died, but he’s now immersed in distilled water, cleaning himself, and coming back to life!!
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My brother died from Covid today. Please get vaccinated.
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If Britney Spears can tour the world, perform a massive multi-year Vegas residency, and be the face of a fragrance empire, then she should be able to drive, vote, choose her own doctor, procure a lawyer, and leave her house without permission.
#FreeBritney
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@KEEMSTAR
Her family institutionalized her against her will, force fed her mind altering medications illegally prescribed by a sports medicine doctor, forcibly kept an IUD inside her against her will, worked her like an *actual* slave, and drained her of a half billion dollar fortune…
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Tony update! Just got some live wax worms. About to feed him 🥺
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sending
@j_h_o_r
out to get some live bugs for him to eat (I’m in Moderna booster recovery today), as I will need to keep him inside for the next couple of nights until temperatures rise enough for him to be released on Thursday or Friday
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“whether it’s ending the conservatorship or flying to Mars or whatever she wants to do… I support that”
southern, white, Christian women have a power with false equivalence that is so subtle and so evil it takes my breath away
Jamie Lynn Spears, if you really support your sister then file for a termination of Britney’s conservatorship.
#FreeBritney
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Got the ladder out to investigate all of the garland and high spaces… Tony is pulling Jenna Maroney-level attention seeking tactics
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I was so worried we were going to get an Ariel with a thin, whispy voice that sounds more like a computer than a person and they are giving us a whole SINGER
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This is Ariana Madix appreciation day. A living angel among us. An actual ally. One of the kindest people I have ever met and a human I am proud to call a true friend in this world. I love you so much, Ariana. We all do.
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@Cobratate
@GretaThunberg
Oh sweetie this is so embarrassing I am leaving my body. Oh my god.
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Back in the fridge until it warms up outside tomorrow? He’s hopping and clearly well and I bought this lettuce like four days ago… he’s so adorable I really don’t want him to die. Any advice at all will be very appreciated!
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@Caitlyn_Jenner
You spend so much time rolling in the excrement of your own self-loathing yearning for the acceptance of those who would sooner wish you dead than support you or embrace you, and all the while you could’ve been a beacon of hope. An ally. A voice of support and encouragement. Sad.
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@KEEMSTAR
This is really honestly fucking egregious for someone with a platform as large as yours to even suggest. Really despicable.
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Can we get Drag Race ladies at all the major award shows please
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Last Tony update for the evening- he made it safely into his new enclosure (fully sealed), which I’ve moved to the bathroom. He seems to love it 🥺
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If you click this, it will auto-write an email to Thomas B Wine, commonwealth attorney for the 30th judicial circuit of Kentucky, and Louisville assistant chief of police, Robert Schroeder, demanding arrests and charges for the murder of
#BreonnaTaylor
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@AnthonyBass52
@united
Good. People are far too comfortable in their entitled, abusive mindset that “someone else is paid to clean this” in public spaces. It’s beyond disrespectful. As if flight crews aren’t dealing with enough right now.
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After consulting with Dr. Jonathan Kolby,
@MyFrogCroaked
, and learning about the best, most environmentally ethical practices in a scenario like mine, I have decided to keep Tony.
Merry Christmas, everyone. May you all have a little miracle come your way soon as well 💚
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where is Britney’s missing $600 million, Jamie Lynn? Why did Lou Taylor’s finance company receive a cash injection of $600 million immediately after you, Jamie Lynn, were mysteriously made sole trustee of Britney’s estate? The same Lou Taylor who is also *your* business manager?
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@NaomiBlinick
Hi! Yes, I spoke to the senior biologist at the Oklahoma wildlife dept yesterday and confirmed he is a green tree frog native to this area (the lettuce came from Texas). Going to release him Thursday as we have a string of 55-77 degree days coming/it will allow him to hibernate
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moved him to the bathroom where the lighting isn’t as harsh and there isn’t as much activity. Look at his little butt 😭🥺🙌🏼
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Tony got a new little (temporary) house!
(and apparently he had a *third* escape adventure when
@j_h_o_r
gave him fresh water while I was at the gym/out picking up Tony supplies 😹)
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@REVWUTRUTH
@LEGO_Group
Stop harassing employees in customer service positions for social media content. I hope Lego sends these very patient gentlemen a care package and bonus for maintaining such composure while a grown man screamed and scared children in their store.
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the other girls could never touch a fraction of what she has
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To add to this a bit further, I am thrilled to see Nickelodeon tweeting this and feel hopeful about the changes that can happen in the course of ten short years. Culture can shift, the entire world can change.
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A network exec might have ruined what was supposed to be a dream come true moment for me that night, but more than anything, this Nick tweet fills me with hope that another young boy on tv might never have to experience such a thing, and turn away from his dreams because of it
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How the world treats Britney Spears never ceases to appall me
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Sweetie you were born grooming horses on your multi-millionaire parents’ estate and literally pretended to be trailer trash to get your one hit after your parents bought you a 25% stake in a label to get you a record deal. You’re a talentless port-a-potty of a human being.
Taylor Swift wants to be a democrat because she wants to be in movies….period. And it looks like she will suck the door knob off Hollyweird to get there. Oldest move in the book. Good luck girl.
-Kid Rock
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@mosseri
@chrissyteigen
There was an elegant cleanliness to instagram that has been jettisoned in favor of a convoluted flea market of disparate ideas, combined with a punitive algorithm that forces users to play by elusive rules in order to be seen by a fraction of their old follower reach
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This is a real life baby yoda.
They are almost extinct.
We’ve killed them all for palm oil.
Let’s start at least discussing ethical consumption in 2020.
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As for me, I’m excited to get back to that VMA carpet once again as an open, proud gay man, filled with gratitude and an open, hopeful heart.
#Pride2019
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Britney Spears on Instagram talking about her “dream car” even though she’s “never been able to own one or drive one,” DESPITE HAVING MADE OVER HALF A BILLION DOLLARS IN THE LAST TEN YEARS ALONE
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I’m VERY torn- do I keep Tony as a pet or release him tomorrow? (Worth noting, there is a string of abnormally warm days beginning tomorrow, which will give him ample time to get acclimated and prep for hibernation).
Keep Tony 🐸
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Release Tony in nature 🌎
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I also write books for queer kids, the first of which, my YA sci-fi novel, Boy Robot, came out in 2016: Boy Robot
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Do straight people think 35 is a lot??
Brittany Renner says that she doesn’t regret sleeping with any of the 35 men she slept with.
“I’m not sorry for a muthaf—kin’ thing I did. I don’t regret anyone I sucked, f—ked or swallowed. I don’t have to do all that and I am still gonna get everything I want.”
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When I was 10, I was given a 50% chance of surviving leukemia. I just remembered that my favorite stuffed animal, my buddy I kept in the hospital bed with me the entire time, was a tree frog…
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But I guess you’d rather expose yourself in my mentions than celebrate talent
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I’m honestly aghast at the silence from so many of the massive artists whose career paths Britney paved and pioneered
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this stunt QUEEN!
The way she acknowledges
#FramingBritneySpears
, how she is currently paying lawyers on both sides, and then sarcastically digs at anyone who has ever underestimated her intelligence.
#FreeBritney
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Last week The Bachelorette had Alyssa Edwards and Alaska judging a speedo competition and this week they’re making the guys put on nipple clamps... I don’t know which of you gays snuck onto the production team this season but you are truly doing the lord’s work
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saw Stanley Tucci was trending and fondly reminiscing about this photo
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@TheOnlyMayhem
She’s one of the greatest entertainers to ever live, and tbh, I don’t think we have *ever* seen an artist evolve as much as she has. Her focus on her craft is unparalleled, and she’s been actively leveling up for decades. No one else has ever honed herself into a deity like her.
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“slapped you and Mamma right across your fucking faces !!!!!”
when I tell you I love
@britneyspears
I don’t think you really get how much I LOVE
@britneyspears
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A lot of new people here so allow me to introduce myself- I’m a recording artist/songwriter/actor/author, you can stream my wonderful music here (I have an amazing new album dropping next year):
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@TheHilaryBuff
@shaTIRED
In the video I just watched that man covered his face as he let out a dry heave sob… that seemed like him trying to not break down crying and letting out a stifled gasp.
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@mosseri
@chrissyteigen
It now feels like Facebook- an ugly, Frankenstein’s monster of an app, where old people go to get fed ads, be scammed, and get confused.
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Britney Spears is an angel on earth, and she will get the justice, liberty, and happiness she deserves.
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just came home to find this. I’m going to cry!
(Also, so many thanks to
@MrSamuelWells
’ mother, Rebecca, who has been hosting us, and our menagerie, at her beautiful home in Tulsa)
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this is so infuriating.
@jamielynnspears
the original title of your book, up until a few months ago, was “I Must Confess…” literally a lyric from your sister’s debut single…
these bizarre Karen gaslighting techniques aren’t working.
I— can’t. Britney, whatever you decide, know the only one being embarrassing in this situation is Jamie Lynn. The only one acting childish is her. You deserve so much more than the family you were given.
@britneyspears
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Taylor Swift discreetly sending ppl $3,000 is such a touching, lovely thing to see rn
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They used Britney’s kids to coerce her into a fraudulent conservatorship that was ultimately tantamount to human trafficking and legal slavery. Now, they’re using her kids in an attempt to gaslight her and diminish her credibility and agency over her own experiences.
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My debut graphic novel, The Witches of Silverlake, debuts October 2022 from
@Legendary
, I have a lot of music coming, as well as my next novel, Robot Army. Nice to meet you all, hope you enjoy the things I make and my deeply, extremely Pisces tweets 😌
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Tony is so happy 😭💖💚 thank you to everyone who has followed and been touched by his story.
May we all extend kindness and grace to whoever and whatever, whenever we can.
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