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Chris Profile
Chris

@schwanman69

Followers
1,748
Following
1,307
Media
695
Statuses
2,052
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1 month
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2 months
My daughter got engaged!
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@ZOrtiz99 A cat walks by.
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4 months
@ZOrtiz99 He helped me lose weight since I can’t afford food anymore.
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29 days
Did I get enough liquid nourishment?
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@schwanman69
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5 months
@ZOrtiz99 Is that an MG?
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@schwanman69
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2 months
If standing up for yourself burns a bridge, I have matches. We ride at dawn.
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5 months
@ZOrtiz99 Not ever.
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1 month
Never forget who ignored you when you needed them and who helped you before you even had to ask.
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3 months
OMG, this is hilarious!
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2 months
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3 months
Good FN morning!
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@schwanman69
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3 months
X/Twitter has taught me a couple of things. First, there are some incredibly brilliant people in the world. Second, they are vastly outnumbered.
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@schwanman69
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3 months
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3 months
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@schwanman69
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7 months
@ZOrtiz99 What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? When you dump a load in the washing machine, it doesn’t follow you around all day. Please don’t block me. 🤪
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@schwanman69
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28 days
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2 months
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@schwanman69
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3 months
Taco Saturday!
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3 months
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2 months
Good morning! Something to ponder.
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2 months
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4 months
If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?
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3 months
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@schwanman69
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11 days
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2 months
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3 months
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2 months
It’s Tuesday, must have tacos 🌮.
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@schwanman69
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2 months
Which one are you?
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@schwanman69
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1 month
There are friends, there is family and then there are friends that become family.
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3 months
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2 months
Which one of you fuc(ers are hiding my glasses?
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5 months
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4 months
@ZOrtiz99 At least she can’t vote.
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2 months
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28 days
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4 months
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2 months
You know you've lost your country when they call out the National Guard to control eclipse watchers and not border crashers.
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5 months
@ZOrtiz99 Funny, you didn’t mention the orgasm part.
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2 months
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4 months
Some photos from my visit to Hoover dam.
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@schwanman69
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29 days
5 rules to fix congress.
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2 months
If you’re ever debating grabbing a beer, just think: “If not now, when? If not you, who?”
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2 months
You'd think the part of the brain that used to remember phone numbers would take over and start remembering passwords. But NOOOO!
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2 months
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@schwanman69
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21 days
Anyone remember what happened last night?
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@schwanman69
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2 months
Happy Taco Tuesday everyone! 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮
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2 months
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A person who now trusts no one, once trusted someone too much.
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@schwanman69
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4 months
I can feel, smell and taste it too.
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3 months
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3 months
I don't have any bad habits. I'm good at all of them.
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2 months
Sounds like a great plan, anyone care to join me?
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@schwanman69
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2 months
This is so wrong, but I cannot resist reposting.
@cynthialowens
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4 months
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2 months
Found at the Goodwill. IYKYK
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@schwanman69
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3 months
At the rate we're going, they're going to cancel shampoo so bald people don't get offended.
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@schwanman69
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4 months
I'm old enough to remember when paper bags were being blamed for the destruction of trees, and plastic bags were the solution.
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5 months
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5 months
Thank you for the first 1000!
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@schwanman69
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21 days
Who doesn’t love a good spit roast?
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3 months
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4 months
@ZOrtiz99 And this one too.
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@schwanman69
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28 days
What happened last night?
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