jm
@pkmerch
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gustav forsling’s lover (real)
he/him
Joined February 2024
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good goalies are so homophobic. let a man penetrate your 5-hole, it’s literally pride month
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narrator: they stopped
@RoKeT_gal
honestly if us supporting the LGBTQ+ community is unwelcome to you it's probably best you unfollow cause we're not gonna stop
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canes are 2-0 since pyotr went to rangers practice to cast a curse upon them btw. if you were curious.
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need someone to show roope this tweet during intermission so he gets a third period hat trick out of rage
@nashdelirium
skin tight fit, color, and texture look like what my Italian grocer has in the deli section
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guys please isn’t ovi homophobic 😭 have we all collectively decided to ignore that? or am i the one hallucinating?
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there is a special language used by hockey players on instagram that I will actually never understand so here are some of my favorites
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canes to-do list:
apologize to pyotr. right now. i fucking mean it.
sign jarvis.
make aho captain.
get rid of TDA.
after that i don't fucking care. guentzel may ask for too much money, coaching staff might refuse to reflect, necas is probably gone but i'll deal with it.
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canes fans, need y’all to make a version of this where the pfk stands for pyotr fuckin kochetkov
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@crispydrysdale
on the other hand, a homophobic person being headcanoned as gay by all their fans is fucking hilarious
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they hate his divine femininity
“We’re looked up as kind of Gods here.”
Mitch Marner is hoping to stay in Toronto long-term, entering the final year of his contract ✍️
(via
@TSN_Sports
)
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flyers players as chappell roan songs!!! (obv stolen from offside news):
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“i don’t agree with his play but he’s such a good person” - what you do on the ice is part of who you are as a person. the injuries he purposefully gives out have real-life consequences for real people, and he should be held accountable for that.
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they deleted cuz y’all were jumping them about having an opinion that you can’t actually prove is wrong. and if you don’t think that someone’s name and connections matter significantly in the national nepotism league then you’re willfully ignorant
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me and my flag
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the carolina hurricanes had better be groveling at pyotr’s feet like they cheated on him. i’m talking massages, chocolate, extra kisses, fancy dinners, even flowers. BEGGING him to stay with them.
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seth jarvis snubbed. travis konecny snubbed. who will provide the whimsical energy? the silliness? the comedic relief?
This fall’s NHL docuseries on Amazon features Connor McDavid, Leon Draisaitl, Matthew Tkachuk, Jacob Trouba, David Pastrnak, Jeremy Swayman, Quinn Hughes, Jack Eichel, William Nylander, Filip Forsberg, and Gabriel Landeskog.
Same producers as Drive to Survive and Full Swing.
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either you’re genuinely stupid enough to fall for obvious bait, or you’re maliciously using trolls to paint an entire fanbase badly. either way, go see a psychiatrist!
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all i know about the dallas stars:
benn bunch mox scandal
seguin slut w stalker wife
wedge harls father son
pavs wyjo father son
stank communal son
delly otter father son?
everyone lives at everyone’s house
otter wedge bromance
harls voice 🥵🥵🥵
thinking of stanning
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cranial trauma strong enough to make me forget the carolina hurricanes’ playoff performance
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he looks like he owns a tech startup that proudly partners with lockheed martin
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and fuck all of y’all talking about bedard’s jaw like y’all r suddenly medical professionals. you would rather ur fav player end their career/life playing thru an injury than take care of themselves and come back better. the entitlement you feel toward another person is insane
Guerin says Faber has been playing with fractured ribs for two months. “That’s the type of kid he is. Never complained, never said boo.”
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my real honest reaction to everyone tweeting about the lights (i’m so fucking jealous)
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@leavetowns
have you seen quinn chews? i’m convinced they hired a witch to temporarily turn the guys into dogs for this photoshoot
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@chicletsbian
oh for "oomf", okay
there is no better feeling than watching the flyers lineup hug sam ersson
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need hockey to start again so i can tweet about the flyers powerplay instead of mason marchment being really hot. i don’t like the person the off-season makes me
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“i hate the canes but jarvy-” gunshots.
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i guess rod didn’t play him for so long because he was in recovery from the lip filler process? idk how long it takes but i hope he’s good now
Head coach Rod Brind'Amour says Pyotr Kochetkov will start Game 3 for the Hurricanes
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sorry i’m always going to think that hitting a guy in the crotch with a hockey stick is funny. the woke left cannot take this from me
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@malkinmoth
why did this have to be a video, im cryinggg 😭😭😭 pls when did shame die? when did privacy become a relic of the past?
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this man’s dream… was to be a DUCK? IM SORRY???? does he know something we don’t? is he secretly soul bonded to trevor zegras? i cannot comprehend
"It's been a dream my whole life. I can't be more thrilled to be a Duck."
Cutter Gauthier on his experience coming to Anaheim, the team's reception to him and his first practice.
#FlyTogether
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no one has real beef on hockey twitter, they just end up following each other and giggling about it after. where is the passion? the self-righteous anger? coming from kpop twitter i’m disappointed
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jamie drysdale // coffee
he’s sad. he’s quiet. he’s in love with someone he can’t be around. next.
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watching the cup final while shaking my head so everyone knows i fundamentally disagree with the concept of either canada or florida achieving success
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i’m gonna become exclusively a sidgeno stan. all sid does is shoot puck and all geno does is like pegging porn on twitter. unproblematic queens 😍
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Joe said he will not continue to house Wyatt Johnston and Logan Stankoven, as his family plans to move back to Wisconsin. However, he laughed and said he’d definitely be staying in touch with them.
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there's only room for one bad bitch in philly and it ain't the mf with the striped budweiser shorts
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if pyotr fights tonight then he’s fighting the patriarchal belief that only women can get lip fillers. some of you are so fucking close minded, it’s his body and therefore his choice! not that hard!
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if i was a carolina hurricane, 1. this wouldn't have happened and 2. if it had happened, i would cry hysterically in the handshake line and refuse to get off the ice until every single ranger, coaches and all, apologized to me and pyotr personally.
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you guys need to stop subtweeting, i think it’s about me every single time whether it���s applicable or not
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i need him in a way that will actually advance feminism by hundreds of years (pegging)
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“nepotism practically doesn’t exist in the hockey world” everyone point and laugh
@pkmerch
@himstutzle
if he sucks ass then i dont wanna know how bad the other rookies are. youre js mad bc none of the rookies that you dick ride got nominated. nepotism practically doesnt exist in the hockey world..its not social media where it does exist..its a fucking sport n youre crying ab it
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has anyone else been infected with an extreme case of hate? just uncontrollable hatred filling every cell? is this just what playoff hockey does to a mf or should i see a psychiatrist
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florida panthers fan lmao everyone point and laugh
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canes 🔛🔝 all my non-blondies have a chance. dm pyotr kochetkov on instagram
so happy to reveal a passion project of mine - what percent of wags of first round playoff teams are blonde. results can be seen below.
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i love when they sandwich the winning team’s celebration with the losing team’s crushing depression
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just saw mason marchment and started crying. i think i’m in too deep with this whole sports thing
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GOALIE BEEF 🥩 he went to rangers practice to put a curse on shesty and it worked
Was Evgeny Kuznetsov surprised that Pyotr Kochetkov skated away from the two melees in his crease in Game 3?
"Yeah. Especially, I know how much he doesn't like Shesterkin."
*laughter*
"I wasn't joking, by the way."
*more laughter*
"I know he likes to get in there."
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they had to check snap score because “no sluts allowed” was section 1.18 of the utah yeti’s informal contract with the mormon church
Prospects won’t say who, but a team has asked what a prospect’s Snapchat score was and what their Uber rating was.
#NHLCombine
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wow, his forehead has arrested me with its beauty! look up “auston matthews arrest” for more details
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foerster and kochetkov both had better seasons than luke hughes, if you disagree then you’re a institutionalist bootlicker
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