Brady
@pebbut
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Statuses
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british people can finally stop faking their accent and talk normally
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just realized that ihop did the ihob thing two years ago. time isn’t real
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This is how little kids stare at you in public areas for no reason
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Why does it have to be the roaring twenties can we just be quiet for a lil bit. the quiet twenties
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Kermit please....I can’t lose her....not again
I'm swamped with meetings today! So much for casual Friday.
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if i saw alvin and the chipmunks in real life i’d stuff them in sock and hit them against the wall and counters really hard
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digging a giant hole at the beach is ingrained in every dudes mind i love doing it
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me going back for a second bowl of some exquisite Cinnamon Toast Crunch at midnight
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describe your spotify wrapped to me using only a picture of your boobs
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I have one braincell and it’s hitting different corners of my brain like a dvd symbol on the tv
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boobs should have nicotine in them and you should be able to hit them like a vape
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Drinking a small amount of Mcdonalds Sprite every day so I become immune to the electric chair
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Why do Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus look so much alike has anyone else noticed this
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Pompeii by Bastille was released 6 years ago. do you feel old now idiot. How does it feel to be an elderly person what are you like 50 years old or something stupid old person
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i’m on both sides of this i hope both of them make 800 thousand billion million dollars
The ‘BARBIE’ and ‘OPPENHEIMER’ war is still on. Both films have no plans to shift release dates.
(Source: )
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Me when my wife’s boyfriend hides the Strawberry-Banana Danimals away from me, preventing me from winning the Dylan & Cole Sprouse Danimal contest
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Why don’t we change the national anthem to The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala that song is much better
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it’s sickening how the british force their children to do the accent too
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there are way too many grown people acting like this guy personally shot their dog because he’s committed to the bit
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Having a gender reveal party at Chuck E. Cheese’s where we just beat the shit out of Chuck E Cheese and then I just reveal the gender myself
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The seven deadly sins
- sex
- being horny
- murder
- being Italian
- sex
- blue cheese
- not marrying me when I hold the door open
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I started saying bruh ironically and now it’s just a part of me forever
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giving my friend 40 benadryl and sending them into a haunted house with a gun
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for my next trick I will say “friendly reminder” and then say something that is not friendly at all, it might even hurt your feelings, idiot
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Me: Do you like food
Uber driver: Sure
Me: [pulling all of the spaghetti out of my pockets that I was saving for later but I like to share so I thought I’d be nice for once] want some sketti
Driver: do you have mozzarella on you
Me: of course [I open up my wallet]
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Squeezing a girl on her period technically makes her a ketchup packet in a way
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If you drive really fast to all your destinations you spend less time driving which is less time to get in accidents
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I just learned that the plural of beef is not “beef” and is actually “beeves” and I’m no longer having a good day
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i work 39 hours a week at mcdonald’s and my only job is to milk grimace
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it’s gonna be 8 episodes of some people working in an amazon warehouse
An American remake of ‘SQUID GAME’ is reportedly in the works at Netflix.
(Source: )
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Yeah sex and drugs or whatever but have u guys heard of the turn signal
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nothing is stopping humans from evolving like giraffes. we just simply have to want to eat plant very high up really badly
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I could pass away right now if I wanted to there is nothing stopping me it’s not like it’s illegal
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speeding shouldn’t be illegal because the faster i’m going the faster i get to my destination which means i spend less time drunk driving
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british people in the replies are either saying thank heavens or calling me a scallywag
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slowly pushing the gas pedal all the way down and turning to my driving instructor and asking if they’ve lived a good life
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How do people from the Midwest hangout? What are you going to do? Look at corn?
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they better hope i don’t see them while i still haven’t got my antipsychotic refilled
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On December 26th they lock Michael Buble back in his cage until next year
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Sometimes I feel like the Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection which has 18 classic films both in black and white and in color plus a collectible photo
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all the fellas that follow me are invited to go to the beach and dig a hole
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Imagine Joe Biden as your sleep paralysis demon and he starts sucking your fingers and once those are moist he moves on to your toes and there is nothing you can do about it
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I’m abandoning all of life’s responsibilities to become a combat juggler
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I have no idea what this is
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Is anyone else craving some corn dogs. corn dog craver check where my corn dog cravers at
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can i come over and look at your trinkets. maybe even peek at your knick knacks
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