Moving to Vienna in a month and in need of a reasonably-priced apartment/room. If any of my beautiful Euro followers have leads on vacancies let me know. I don't flush the toilet and eat raw sardines in shared spaces.

Favourite piece of shittalk ever. I forgive you for the toilet music

They collabed

By pure chance microplastic shards in my brain accumulated to form a working micro chip; insane. I can speak Hindi now.

visited the place where french people dump machinery that confuses/scares them

The only meme I’ve ever been responsible for is the “bane is the scariest guy I’ve ever seen” one. Everyone else on here with a similar following made more memes. I’m a Salieri surrounded by Mozarts.

was showing my grandma how you can search for pictures in your camera roll. typed "hand " and this was the first one

I never find clues like that

UK nonce catching video: traumatised unemployed guy forcing a pedophile to take a written "knobhead detector test" while the police arrive. US version : 7 gym owners throw a nonverbal man into a car crusher.

I've been trying to say this to the librarian.

France is full of dads who want to be your girlfriend basically. I fucked this guy

Awful. I want the computer

The Black Keys are my favourite band. I’m designing an AI chatbot for landlords to handle tenant disagreements. I genuinely love my wife/bouldering. I’ll die at the turn of the next century surrounded by children who are basically the same.

And the Oscar goes to {opens envelope, big smile} The Cone Brothers.

The late bird gets the much cooler "night worm".

This is so sad. Bourdain describing exactly how he would kill himself

I raced a tortoise and a hare in my house and my dog ate them.

Bet!!!!

{ trying to top friend’s anecdote } LOL! Man did you hear about the old woman who lived in a shoe.