im back

never understood “house rules” when it came to beer pong. one time i was at my boys place and i airballed and he without hesitation grabbed one of his cups and tomahawked it at my head while yelling “squanto” and the rest of the guys who lived there had no reaction. how am i

you think you know a guy and then you have a discussion on tap water and fluoride and realize he’s unsalvageable

i dont enjoy smoking weed anymore because it always makes me want to sit on the couch and do nothing or have homosexual interactions with other men

enjoy your crypto vaporware losses bro, all of my money is in my 401k which is backed by absolutely nothing and i can’t touch it for 900 years

there is something very sinister happening in san francisco. it’s like the cia putting crack in black neighborhoods but for unfuckable men

“every single male on the planet should at the bare minimum have been through [insert the worst thing that’s ever happened to me]”

just aimlessly ate hundreds of pistachios. there are at least a thousand left in the bag. you’re telling me there are that many pistachios on this planet? each person can be sustained with thousands of pistachios easily? that they’re essentially unlimited forever? that doesn’t

following a mentally ill girl because one in every twenty posts of hers is a selfie that justifies dealing with the rest of the deranged thoughts and opinions she shares

barack HUSSEIN obama made it ILLEGAL to have a FIREPLACE in your OWN home

beautiful flirtatious barista took out her phone and started smiling

people saying they’re “having company” something you don’t see as much of

once per month i allow myself to enter into an alternate personality i refer to as “the monkey” in which i give in to all of my ape brain desires without personal judgment or fear of consequence. often this ends with me going to mcdonalds and eating a 20 piece nugget and 2 big

women will quietly engage in a 3 year psychological warfare operation with cunning military precision and strategy against a stranger who slightly wronged them and then weep uncontrollably after seeing a single centipede in their bathtub

you have “ads work on you” physiognomy we won’t be speaking again

checking in on the youtube scene

alternatively: how it felt to read bronze age mindset

how it felt to be white in 2016

holy shit babe your daily caloric intake is goated

being added to a prominent right wing group chat is better than going viral

as an italian columbus day is a very special holiday to me as it allows me to celebrate my people discovering an uninhabited wasteland and turning it into utopia