With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

i think i used to be nicer but people annoy me so bad now because all they do is misunderstand me and say the most stupidest or meanest stuff to me it’s tiring and im sick of everyone

I’m not going to lie I kind of just banked everything on the annual It’s a Wonderful Life rewatch fixing me spiritually before the end of the year.

to live for the hope of it all

@LadPsycho Didn't realize the Gundam community had infighting like Abrahamic religious sects

i feel like a very useless human being, i've concluded that i don't know how to live like a normal person, i don't understand people, I don't know how to relate to others, I'm such a self absorbed individual without ambitions, at this point, all that's left for me is to be alone

committing seppuku (ritual suicide) with my wakizashi (small sword) because I failed my daimyo (feudal lord) by crashing his Nissan Pulsar (untranslatable)

Everything is so tragic and sacred. What am I to do with all this love?

When I was in the 2rd grade I did a ki blast and now my brother eats cheerios with a fork

https://t.co/0sSvSKGOMp

You got chucklebaited by laughslop

https://t.co/XAubZxOZcV

- haruki murakami, 1Q84

Hunter S Thompson's suicide note, i shall add no further comment

they found the kiln of the first flame in Alabama

I hope this time never ends.

i kinda want one of these things as a pet but i think eventually id get sick of it and stop feeding them

https://t.co/IasIv1qHuJ

I hold little hope for my life.