Nikhil Jois
@nikhiljoisr
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I write about my journey towards becoming a happier, healthier, wealthier, and wiser version of myself. Looking for kind and talented teammates: @bureauidentity
Joined June 2010
Meet Bureau - Please reach out if you:.1. Want to join our team.2. Want to use our product suite at your company .3. Want me to pass on compliments to my super talented colleague who helped bring this video to life.
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Tried out Ola Prime Plus today. 1. Clean car .2. Driver came on time and didnāt keep calling .3. AC was switched on already ( yes yes I had the same reaction š¤Æ) . I was his 3rd customer all week and heās paid 3000 rupees per day to stay logged in for 12 hours. No option to.
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In India, it will be called MacOS Peak XV.
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Why the fuck do all these rich-ass people have wired earphones and not AirPods? #IPLAuction.
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If you want to be useful at an early stage startup, be one of the two (if not both): . 1. Tech person .2. Deck person.
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Noob fraudster chose the wrong fucker to mess with. If only they knew what I do for a living š
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This city is absolutely nuts. A no code tool/platform on the front page.
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I said ā Cheetah bhi peeta haiā and 5 of my teammates looked at me blankly. Guys, are we old ?.
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Chennai Twitter, I need your help. My Dadās suffering from late stage liver cirrhosis and transplant is the only option. My brother is donating a portion of his liver. The surgeryās on Monday (29/04) in Chennai. Need blood donors ( O+ve or B+ve preferred) .Please RT or DM.
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Youāre always busy wanting something except whateverās in front of you.
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Some day soon, CRED will release an ad featuring Baba Sehgal. The Internet will break.
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The more often I travel to Mumbai, the more Iām convinced that Bangalore Traffic merely has a branding and perception issue. In reality,Mumbai traffic is way scarier.
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The core issue with Bangalore is the disparity in both income as well as employment levels - perceived as it may be. The utterly stupid hooligans who have gone around and destroyed boards of businesses have no jobs and as a city we have always been let down by the lack of.
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My dad just told some pal of his that I work in Fintech! Not āstartupā but āFintechā . We mainstream now.
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Iām not personally invested in or close to the founders of TMC, Ken, or Captable -like publicationsā¦ but it pisses me off to no end when people from the tech industry ask for a PDF version of a story. We make more money per day than most families make in a month. Fucking buy it.
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Personal finance tips post #AppleEvent . 1. Spend money on 0 to 1 purchases but think very hard about upgrades. Going from no iPad to an iPad is defensible but buying the latest one within 2 years is overkill. Donāt spend money to impress others. No one cares. You do you.
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Got engaged to the only person in these pictures who doesnāt have a twitter account. Probably explains why she agreed to marry me. Thrilled to have been able to share the day with family. ( Her name is Nandita - I have a copy paste message if youāre more curious and text or DM)
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Lots of folks talking about Saurabh Netravalkar after last nightās performance vs Pakistan (rightly so) but I hope Kannadiga boy Nosthush Pradeep Kenjige gets some attention too. Lad took 3 amazing wickets. Heās a Dayanand Sagar college huDga who is endorsed by KMF š
ā¤ļø.
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Kannada announcement on tonightās SIA flight to BLR. I wish Indian airlines too learned to make sure announcements in our languages are included. Takes very little effort. Makes a huge difference.
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NFT Hackathon ads on the front page of Times of India in Bangalore. Itās a brave new world.
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As a Kannadiga Technology Brother, I just want to say - please donāt waste your outrage on this. The judiciary will not let this see the light of day. Channel your anger and frustration elsewhere.
šØ JUST IN: Karnataka cabinet approves draft bill mandating 50% reservation for locals in management jobs, 75% in non-management categories. via @moneycontrolcom.
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So hard to support this team. So fucking hard. Fellow RCB fan, please go and join or start early-stage companies. This is what startups feel like. If you can survive being an RCB fan, you can survive startups.
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Man, the anthem always gets me šššš®š³ā¤ļøšš½.
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How did the homies at that Web3 event in Dubai greet each other? . ETH Mubarak.
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Some day, science will figure out time travel. Until then, we have art.
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Less than 3 decades ago, someone with your level of intellect, status, wealth, and curiosity levels had negligible access to knowledge and opportunities compared to what you have today. Do not waste the privilege of being able to read, comprehend, compete, and breathe today.
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I have to work with this guy and deal with this IRL. Life really is unfair.
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The masculine urge to look for and fund startups that make gifting decisions easier.
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Asked Swiggy executive to write my name on the package. He delivered.
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Stop sending me @DanishSait ās latest reel. Yes - we speak like that. What will you do? Tell off. If you have problem means come meet me near Banashankari BDA complex and put call.
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Friends, if Kannadigas like yours truly respond to your āHappy Diwali ā wishes with a ā Happy Deepavaliā - please know that we mean no disrespect. Different languages, same festival. We are just being mindful because we grew up learning a different meaning of the word.
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Just got a survey call from the Department of Health, Government of Karnataka checking on my health status and requesting me to self-quarantine since I traveled to Bangalore from the US less than 14 days ago. So glad to see steps being taken.
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In 2014, I got drunk & made a pal call his crush in the middle of the night. Braving traffic to attend the engagement now. Don't drink, kids.
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To all the friends and well-wishers who have asked us about what weāve been up toā¦ thank you for your patience, support, and nudges. Weāre finally out of āstealthā and this is truly day 1 at @bureauidentity . I love this team and our mission so much that I am lost for words.
Excited to announce that @bureauidentity is now out of stealth, and has raised a $12M Series A led by @QuonaCapital. Thanks to everyone who has joined us on this journey to fight fraud, protect & accelerate mobile transactions - Details in @EconomicTimes: .
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Mad respect for my accountant friend who has refrained from yelling at me for sending IT returns details on Dec 29th - just 6 months after his first reminder across multiple communication channels. True stoic. (If youāre reading this, I love you Kou).
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Did too many of you take those āmove to Bangaloreā tweets seriously ? Why is there so much traffic on a Saturday? All. Over. The. City!.
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The fact that almost all of us were watching a Womenās Hockey Match instead of a Cricket Match is proof of the awesomeness of these women and the fact that they deserve all the accolades in the world. What a squad š®š³ā¤ļøšš½.
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āØTimely tip for those who are embarking upon inculcating new systems or hitting ambitious goals this year :. People will ask you to ātake it easyā or ālive life a littleā . Fuck āem. They donāt know that youāre incapable of moderation. They mean well, but you do you. Be epic.
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Expectation: Now that Iāve managed to convince a beautiful woman to marry me, I never have to worry about what I wear or how I dress ever again. Reality : Outfits are picked and packed by her with more care. Iām never allowed to wear shorts to office or t-shirts to events.
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Rameshwaram Cafe was the practise session.
Bengaluru, we are overwhelmed by your responseā£ļø Current wait time at Nagasandra store is 3 hours. Please plan accordingly or shop online. For latest wait time updates, visit:
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Itās been a few years since Iāve experienced such rains in Bangalore. Iām guessing some records are being broken tonight. This is absolutely bonkers.
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Friends, where can I find the best Pita Bread or Chips in Bangalore? . I have bought too much of the Dip.
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British Bruhat Mahanagara Palike.
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Akki Rotti with Palak Paneer. Is this peak āUnity in Diversityā or what?
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Working on Fintech basically means making sure your family has all possible bank accounts for you to test random onboarding flows and features. Irrespective of whether aforementioned family has money or the need to have more accounts.
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We could all use a few laughs and some positivity. So, I wanted to share some videos that demonstrate what I would legit call #bestfriendgoals featuring @tomsegura and @bertkreischer . I know there are a million details Iām not mentioning and a few videos Iām skipping. Here goes:.
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VC friends in Bangalore - one of my favourite founders is building a SuperApp on the spirituality and wellness space. Heās in town next week - hit me up for intros if you do early stage deals. I have access to numbers and theyāre on fire right now. š¤.
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My brother (@bondijois)& I canāt (wonāt ) step out of home and are getting slightly bored this weekend. We have one major passion/skill set in common: Startups. Challenging ourselves to build one from scratch ( No idea what) in the next 24 hours. Wish us luck šš½.
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Donāt get excited, folks ā¦ but itās drizzling in Nandi Hills. š„ŗ.
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Hotstar died when there are 2 laps left in the race ! What the hell!.
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My 64-year-old dad has figured out that e-commerce companies fear cart abandonment and delays checkout to get a call or message offering him a discount. Never underestimate your customers.
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Bangalore startups mixers and dinners now have āfresh lime soda with saltā as the most popular beverage order. Thank you, Andrew Huberman.
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Superb video by @tferriss summarising concepts on career and skill set design that Iāve picked up from him and @ScottAdamsSays .Pick paths that make you a specialised generalist that provide:.1. High quality relationships .2. Marketable skills.
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Donāt let any asshole make you feel bad for wanting to be: . 1. Healthy (Fit and/or good-looking).2. Wealthy (Rich and/or materialistic).3. Wise (Curious and/or knowledgeable). You do you. They are worthy goals even if they seem vain or superficial to others.
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Cat's out of the bag ! Huge shoutout to the amazing friends here on Twitter who have helped us get this far. If you are or know of talented experts who want to join us as we build the future of fraud prevention, you know how to reach us.
š Iām thrilled to announce Bureauās $30m Series B roundš°, led by @robrueckert at @SorensonCap , with participation from @PaypalVentures , led by Ashish Aggarwal. This isnāt just a milestone for @bureauidentity - itās a strong validation fo our mission to protect and
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Just realised Iāve waited 17 years ( half my life so far ) for this win. Good lord. Sports fandom is hard.
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RCB has gotta be the only team that can get fans to get this stressed even when they arenāt playing.
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Am I saddened about Charles losing out on the podium and a potential win ? ā
. But . Zhou and Albon walking away safe šš½.Carlosās first win ā¤ļø.Lewis on podium at home race šš½.Mickās first F1 points š„ŗ.Russel being the good guy š.Best race of the season so far. What a #BritishGP.
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If you care about the plight of delivery folks: . 1. Tip generously. Direct cash/UPI if you donāt trust the platforms. 2. Offer them juice, buttermilk, cookies or other packaged food (safety reasons). 3. Give 5 star ratings and thank them. Hot takes donāt help as much as ā¬ļø.
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Luck is a muscle. If you donāt exert it often enough and subject it to progressive overload, it wonāt be there for you when you need it the most.
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My father has a complex surgery that involves him and his other son in less than 50 hours and the first thing he says upon seeing me this morning is ā When are you planning to shave your beard?ā . When will dads change? smh.
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The god-like feeling one got by solving one of these problems and getting them right on the first attempt is inimitable.
From over 25 years ago.
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My not-at-all secret team at Bureau is looking for a Senior Product Manager. If you embody all the traits Iām looking for but are happy where you are, please continue but say hi in replies or DMs. I want friends also and not just colleagues. 5 star >5 traits but here we go:
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The Olympics makes me feel bad about some of my talented friends from school days. They were so good at sports and yet were judged on the basis of their marks - forced to give up on talents to compete with nerds like us. Wrong game altogether.
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In a liquid market that is greedy for talent, culture is the only moat that matters.
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Happy to report that Bangalore Weather Tweets are back on the menu
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A tweet wouldnāt suffice, so I spent half a day with @MotwaniSuhas yesterday and got the 7 people in Koramangala who hadnāt yet congratulated him to do so in person yesterday. Congrats to all of us.
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The conductor tells me there are only 7 trams left in Kolkata. Fascinating that they have WiFi connectivity! Although thereās some room for improvement in the security department. 7 rupees from Esplanade to Gariahat. This city is a vibe!
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Mega impressed with how @BBMPSouthZone has been dealing with COVID. In the 3 days since I tested positive, I have gotten : . 3 automated IVR calls quizzing me about symptoms . 7 calls from BBMP employees asking me if I need help + contact tracing. 1 doctor visit + meds at š”.
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I am thrilled to let all of you know that Sarojamma has now had both doses of vaccination. Congrats to all involved.
What fresh hell is this . ( I donāt know who Sarojamma is and I didnāt ask for an OTP)
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My biggest takeaway from today's e-lafda: everyone loves fighting fraud. If you want to do it for a living, come join us :
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You are one introduction away from a radically different life.
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There are many lottery tickets a few of us win at birth. One of the many I am grateful for is being born in this amazing state. Jai Karnataka. Truly one state, many worlds. #KannadaRajyothsava.
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Side project idea : Indian Wedding Hashtag generator. Input : Name of Bride and Groom ( or any other combination). Output : Hashtags with cringe level indicator that checks for duplication across social platforms.
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I practise stoicism by wearing my RCB jersey in public irrespective of how the team is doing.
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āHow do you know prayers donāt work?ā . āBecause Iām baldā.
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Oh my god! . HYPE!.
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Wifeās review of me after merez āļøāļøāļøāļø
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I envy people who can do things in moderation. I have no such luxury. Itās either going to be a full-blown obsession or zero fucks. Nothing in between.
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Be so good that they ask themselves what they did to deserve you.
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Hi folks - If your org is trying to save costs and youāre looking to save on any identity verification/KYC or any authentication ( including SMS OTP ) costs - do reach out to me. Weāve able to cut costs by up to 30% for a bunch of fintechs and consumer-facing companies.
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Hot take : Hockey needs IPL-isation. Some rich body needs to learn from the mistakes of Hockey India League and the successes of IPL to create a way to make these men and women celebrities who are wealthy. More importantly - larger talent pool gets exposure and coaching.
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@SparklinGuy @naval @JamesClear A book that exhibits sufficient Lindy effect. Typically classics etc that have survived and remained relevant for ages. An example would be : Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Has survived and remained relevant for 2000 years, chances are it will remain so for 2000 more.
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Today, I will only respond to ā Suhasā or āMotwaniā
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