bbqueen
@ngocbbuii
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writer or something (i make up stuff), zendaya's personal assistant | newsletter:
brooklyn
Joined September 2012
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imagine a crab coming out of the sea pressuring you to kiss a girl you just met two days ago in a jamaican accent
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you know what, i'll just come out and say it, i would like to date someone kind and handsome
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one of the best things about being a little sad is how far you can walk
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i love texting a man who is 26 !!!! he's probably eating a gogurt or something
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why haven't they moved SNL up to 10pm we literally have no plans
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why haven't they moved SNL up to 10pm we literally have no plans
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can someone get something stuck in the suez canal again so i can feel joy
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why haven't they moved SNL up to 10pm we literally have no plans
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@v_dcknz
this is why i just take their hand thirty seconds in and say why don't you drive babe i like to watch ,, bc i do not do manual labor
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@negaversace
dopamine?? this early in the day? from THIS brain?? everyone told me but i refused to listen
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@HarperRoseD
being attracted to men is my fatal flaw,, i’m losing my fucking mind over this give us the number Harper
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me swiping my credit card 2 months ago: u deserve this
me paying the bill today: i absolutely did not
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@WrittenByHanna
we do!!!! the blowouts just take so much arm power 😭😭😭 these biceps are wimpy to do a DIY blowout more than once a month
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before u post something dumb consider just donating:
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sorry i came on too strong by reciprocating interest,, totally my b
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my sexuality is whatever the hair stylist massaging my scalp and temples with shampoo is
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you're not in love with me? well you haven't even seen all my little outfits, loser
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i love the cusp of summer bc that's when people start having lovers' quarrels outside at night again
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i'm a simple girl, i walk into a shitty bar and suddenly it's my favorite bar
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haven't heard from him since yesterday do u think he's having a pop tart too rn y or n
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looks like this is still going so i'll drop this here if u feel helpless/sick and want more actionable ways to help:
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why haven't they moved SNL up to 10pm we literally have no plans
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@rishipuff
zero understanding of cyclic nature of art/music and chord progressions lol honestly astounding
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absolutely horrendous that exercise helps you regulate your emotions
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@alafairburke
@laurenthehough
i feel like someone is thinking of trying it and i want them to know they don't have to
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didn't think a tweet i wrote while insomniatically watching a disney movie while sad would warrant being harassed and insulted every which way for existing but to clear things up, Sebastian's accent is perhaps BOTH Jamaican and Trinidadian
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@88rising
hi do u wanna explain your thought process/social media strategy bc 25k of us are wondering
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microdosing a lil spank by letting the screen door smack me when it swings back
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do you ever watch a movie and get mad bc it's unrealistic (guy falls in love with woman for who she is)
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microdosing being awake by pressing the snooze button twelve times
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ok wait the sky is also 1734201659x as beautiful when u are a little sad, incredible sunset tn
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why haven't they moved SNL up to 10pm we literally have no plans
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why haven't they moved SNL up to 10pm we literally have no plans
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ready to date someone who is thirty ! (wants to go to dinner and then read in bed)
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as a woman, every six months i get a haircut with hopes that it will change the trajectory of my entire life
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@taylorgarron
@becca_oneal
someone's gun dropped out of their jean pockets in US gov and the entire class groaned because we were gonna be assigned reading for class being disrupted for someone wanting to be a dumbass after school
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@its_willyu
*internally chanting* i am too poor for baby i am too poor for baby i am too po-
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leaving my feet outside of the blankets for the demons tonight so i can be touched at least once this year
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@Joyce360Joyce
@irx995
@WrittenByHanna
you both are too kind, thank you!! 😭 also saggiterrorist is the best name i've seen in a long time lol
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when u spell my name wrong in an email this is who you're getting an email back from
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@taylorgarron
@becca_oneal
seeing a teacher or principal get dragged into a fight gotta be one of the highlights of the year also in a public school
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sushi for breakfast is the same thing as bagel and lox: fish on carb, perfect combo
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@TaraKLewis
i didn't learn English until i was 5, Tara but i have enough grace to understand what someone means if they forget a comma every once in a while
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the cdc should use this interaction to encourage getting boosted
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i could file my own taxes again like a girl boss or i could believe in myself finding a boyfriend whose love language is acts of service by May 17th
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bummed to report this morning that starbucks does not serve cock spice latte
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pls follow me i love to tweet about movies!!!
do you ever watch a movie and get mad bc it's unrealistic (guy falls in love with woman for who she is)
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you think dating in a city is bad???? i dare u to move to lancaster, pa where this is the first non-political option you get after swiping no on 62 republican men
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an incredible amount of men alerting me we are in a supposed recession,, do something about it then!!!!!!!
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why haven't they moved SNL up to 10pm we literally have no plans
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sorry i am not romantically interested unless you're willing to jump onto a moving bus with me at the helm in order to dismantle a bomb while it moves at 50+ mph through LA
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do they dislike you bc you're not supportive or bc you held them accountable for something
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so tomorrow's Monday???? and what's next?? let me guess, Tuesday??? haven't we had enough !!!!!!
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if someone tried to steal my identity i would simply say good luck
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remember holding onto a friend's shirt or bag to get through a concert crowd??? i would like to do that again someday
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sorry i was late to our meeting i had to pspspspspps at the feral kitten outside my apartment for twenty minutes
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i cried bc i took the pottermore sorting test and got slytherin three times freshman year of college anyway i also downloaded tinder that same weekend and made two men meet up with each other instead of me
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lol anybody wanna tell them or should i
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