Did anyone else just see @AaronRodgers12 shaggin balls at the @Mariners game?!?!

So @Meta - basically what you’re saying here is that if I call out a sponsored post for using buzzwords and BS to sell their product, you’ll call it spam and remove my completely true post?

The Green Bay Packers drafting Hall of Fame QBs

Made it to the game! # SeaUsRise!!

Uplift of the #disneyland Plans page! My west coast friends now get many of the same features as my east coast #disneyworld friends! Standby for more features!

Hey ⁦@McDonalds⁩, just found this in a record album that i was just going through. What can you tell me about it? Can i put this in a record player and hear Ozzy taking in reverse?!? ⁦@mindelusions⁩

A Brief History of Nobody Wants to Work Anymore 🧵

I like how @TatesBakeShop has a resealable package like they’re trying to preserve something! Everything in the bag is crispy as shit. Resealing it doesn’t make it less crispy. The shit is yummy 3 days later and zero molecular structure has changed by the wire tie they attach!!

All the IE toolbars have gathered on the island of misfit toys, never to fail to uninstall again ...

Current status

When someone asks me what my favorite git command is.

According to the laws of infinite probability, somewhere there is a universe where the chapstick in your pocket rolls down instead of out into the cap.

Sharks, I’m here asking for $500k in exchange for 2% of my company …

We all have that one friend who makes you wish that phone carriers still charged per text message. Yes, those last 12 rapid fire texts were a single thought ....

This is ridiculous as I refused to join Twitter for a long time after it launched. And here we are. Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Just posted a photo

This might be the greatest thing I’ll see today. In my local Starbucks i find these 2 fine gentleman are each rockin multiple devices to get their game on! You’re never too old to call up your inner child for a play date!

Coming up on 7 years at Disney, and I finally received my 5 year pin! I’ve properly attached it to my name tag to let all of the other Cast Members working in my home office know that I’m a badass!! 🤣🤣 #Disney #ServicePin

Today is a brand new day … #ShiftHappens #mindelusions

Every Ryan Reynolds movie is just himself dressed in whatever outfit the movie needs. Every credit should read: “Ryan as himself dressed up for this movie” When @VancityReynolds has 60 year old knees, Deadpool is voice over only. No super hero landings 😔#maximumeffort #sadness