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@microwaveddecaf

Followers
410
Following
129
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2,601
Statuses
10,800

amanda. she/her.

in the garage
Joined April 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
doing all my little hobbies, poorly
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
i love art
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Will Sennett
2 years
Bobby Oppenheimer get your country ass over here my momma says you been in the city Inventing a bomb as big as a damn bus
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
so many people are gonna be so mad when coke has santa wearing a red mask in their Christmas ads this year lol
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
You have been visited my calm Bobby. Retweet for inner-peace in 2018.
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
@hell_doe @aklingus *sidling up to zoomer accounts, audibly groaning as I sit backwards on a chair* I was here before the old books were written, before dril faced god and walked backwards into hell, I watched with my own eyes the unveiling of horse ebooks, the rise and fall of posters lost to time
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
i love gaming
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
who can possibly say how long I have been mindlessly sipping this coffee while a baby sock floats in it
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
meet the elite couples breeding to save mankind
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@microwaveddecaf
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9 years
i know this was circulating before, but i couldn't find it and needed it so here
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
a surrogate in labour is a birthing person, as is a trans man, a cis woman, a nonbinary individual, a person who will be giving up their baby for adoption, etc. not all birthing people are mothers. hope this helps!!
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The words “birthing people” are so absolutely insulting it is almost unimaginable. Eff off with that nonsense
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
inside of you are two wolves
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@microwaveddecaf
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7 years
the new matrix remake needs two neos imo
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
save glass jar gf and save empty box bf
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
you better watch out you better watch out YOU BETTER WATCH OUT YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
@nastywomanatlaw
clair with the "esq"
4 years
I'll be damned
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
santa naming one of his reindeer vixen. so what's that about.
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
I'm tired of cultivating resiliency I want to be swaddled
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
solidarity with everyone trying to explain to their pets why it's not dinner time yet
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
telling my 16 month old that she's looking at a winter of severe illness and death, that the president said so
@JDespland
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2 years
westerners will accept any atrocity if you tell them that the victims deserved it because they made the wrong choices
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
beautiful message
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
you vs the guy she told you not to worry about
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
my brain
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
the Frasaissance 👑
@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
3 years
Brendan Fraser upcoming projects: • The Whale (dir: Darren Aronofsky) • Killers of the Flower Moon (dir: Martin Scorsese) - w/ Jesse Plemons, Leonardo DiCaprio • Brothers (dir: Max Barbakow) - w/ Glenn Close, Peter Dinklage • Batgirl (dir: Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah)
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
will you take a birder's pledge with me today
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
"you're under arrest"
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
the townsfolk are carrying me around on their shoulders down main street because I read an upsetting article and chose to just leave it at that instead of typing THIS SUCKS and posting the link with no further context. oh, here's the mayor with the key to the city
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@microwaveddecaf
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7 years
Who says white people don't have any culture
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
stone ground steve mustard
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
his leggies
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
I'm crying holy shit
@BacklineNurse
Jade Van Kley
3 years
DUDES ROCK
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
dudes rock
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
I made this at 4am when I was nursing the baby
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
went on a hike at a nearby trail today just me and the dog. I'm pretty anxious about venturing out of my bubble alone, but I figured if @BlairBraverman and her pups can travel almost 1000 miles solo across Alaska I can hike around for a few miles and be OK. #uglydogs
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
when I disregard the meal kit recipe and make something different with the ingredients
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
oh my gahd
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
if you are stressed may i suggest looking at botanical illustrations
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
his and hers myers briggs insulated wine tumblers. so happy we have this instead of, like, a habitable climate.
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
he's sick, but he's hanging in there. tell her. he's gonna get better.
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
learning about Gumby
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@microwaveddecaf
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7 years
we've had Rudy for about 1.5 years and this has been my view every night as I am falling asleep
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
this is the petco I'd take pup to for nail trims before we moved. so cool.
@MorePerfectUS
More Perfect Union
2 years
NEW: Petco workers in Seattle are organizing the company’s first-ever union. They’re paid just a fraction of what other dog groomers make and say that poor training and negligent management is putting pets—and workers—in danger. They're unionizing to make the company listen.
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
thinking about this again
@emonormie
emo normie
3 years
when someone asks what kind of music i’m into it’s just like...i literally would listen to a full version of this. midwest emo owns my ass in a way that transcends property law.
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
his shelter name is rudy and i keep calling him rudence tudence
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@microwaveddecaf
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9 years
there is a hard cooked egg in this mini takeout container everyone remain calm
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@microwaveddecaf
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9 years
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@microwaveddecaf
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7 years
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
when your pear has only taken minimal damage because of proper packing
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
cherries cost ~ $8/# at my grocery store right now and these workers are getting $0.30/#. an over 200% difference in wage vs price. they'd have to collect almost 30# to buy 1#. & they're working in inhumane conditions w/no protections. but profit over people is business as usual.
@UFWupdates
United Farm Workers
3 years
This is one of many crews in Benton City WA who are hard at work trying to save the cherry harvest. It was 113° yesterday and supposed to reach 117° today. The workers shared they were being paid 30 cents per pound. #WeFeedYou #Calor
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
protect this man at all costs
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
@Notdojaaa
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2 years
My goodness 🤣
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
somehow the canasters labelled salt and beans is the most upsetting thing about this video?
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
fuck offfffff
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
for me, an ointment doesn't get much better than when it has healing properties
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
I can't stop laughing at this
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CCide
3 years
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
A big hello to Smudge
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
we're your mom and dad and we're very proud of you
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
@DieRobinsonDie somehow them sending the husband a book about mourning your spouse and then sending a him funeral wreath is like the 10th most fucked up things they did to this couple
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
dumb of ass... empty of brain. living in my truth.
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
mom: we don't need to see the new minions movie, we have minions at home the minions at home:
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
one fav = one kiss on the top of his head
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
video of water flowing down in little streams along the beach toward the shore. the sun is sparkling in the water.
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
summer 16
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
cannot get over this cat named Sky King available for adoption at our local shelter
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
we're googling the worst [pop culture thing] + wedding photos we can think of
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
me trying to afford myself the grace and gentleness I extent to others unconditionally
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
nice invention, dude. did necessity breed it?
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
lmao at this line from a write up of an authentic pnw bbq spot
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
avocado baby
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@microwaveddecaf
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7 years
@CharitableHuman turn your location on
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
thinking of baby names and so far Drew's contributions have been Worm and Goblin
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
Normal Hay For normal horses
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
there's a birb in my coffee
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
this is basically every murder podcast
@azninthesun
faboolah
5 years
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
me after watching my first american presidential debate since immigrating to america
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@microwaveddecaf
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2 years
my brane gave up serotonin for lent ☺️
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@microwaveddecaf
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9 years
it's friday we made it
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@microwaveddecaf
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9 years
this was a real thing i saw today
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
three years ago this week I met @Drew4484 . I took this photo the first time we hung out.
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 months
rip jackie o you would've loved the cybertruck
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@microwaveddecaf
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7 years
got in an argument w/a coworker who believes food service workers make too much money in Seattle and that it's their own fault because they chose to work that job and that if they can't afford to live here they should move. yes, he worships Jeff Bezos. yes, he is a white cis male
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
I'm a dude and a wife we exist
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
*Hank Hill voice* what the hell is a strong bad
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
happy birthday to my sweet love and the best dada @Drew4484
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
thank you to portrait mode for this extremely good photo of my cat
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@microwaveddecaf
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4 years
I can think of an easier way, but it would involve giving a shit about poor people
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 months
@arod_twit also I taught her to "hold hands" with the fridge or something on the other side of the kitchen when I needed to get into the oven. basically relied on prevention and then just drilled it into her little brain that oven means ouchie for many months
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@microwaveddecaf
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9 years
s/o to everyone who loves cooking and who also has like one square ft of kitchen counter space
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
we bathed him and I trimmed his nails and moisturized his coat and he looks like a million silky bucks
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
wow congratulations on turning 6 months old today! keep up the good work, you little cornchip head.
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 months
I have two daughters now. it's pretty rad.
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@microwaveddecaf
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1 year
can't wait to slice into this bad boy later on 🥳
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@microwaveddecaf
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5 years
wow he loves it thank you for the recommendation @fillegrossiere
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@microwaveddecaf
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8 years
brunch is a scam unless you're paying me to make you brunch
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@microwaveddecaf
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9 years
when you've succeeded at growing the biggest cabbages
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
you, horny: we need the vaccine me, normal, wants to go to the dentist: we need the vaccine
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@microwaveddecaf
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3 years
45 sneaking on to the potus account to get a few more tweets off
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@microwaveddecaf
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6 years
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