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@microwaveddecaf
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Pinned Tweet
doing all my little hobbies, poorly
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i love art
Bobby Oppenheimer get your country ass over here my momma says you been in the city Inventing a bomb as big as a damn bus
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so many people are gonna be so mad when coke has santa wearing a red mask in their Christmas ads this year lol
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You have been visited my calm Bobby. Retweet for inner-peace in 2018.
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@hell_doe
@aklingus
*sidling up to zoomer accounts, audibly groaning as I sit backwards on a chair* I was here before the old books were written, before dril faced god and walked backwards into hell, I watched with my own eyes the unveiling of horse ebooks, the rise and fall of posters lost to time
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who can possibly say how long I have been mindlessly sipping this coffee while a baby sock floats in it
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meet the elite couples breeding to save mankind
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i know this was circulating before, but i couldn't find it and needed it so here
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a surrogate in labour is a birthing person, as is a trans man, a cis woman, a nonbinary individual, a person who will be giving up their baby for adoption, etc. not all birthing people are mothers. hope this helps!!
The words “birthing people” are so absolutely insulting it is almost unimaginable. Eff off with that nonsense
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you better watch out you better watch out YOU BETTER WATCH OUT YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
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santa naming one of his reindeer vixen. so what's that about.
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I'm tired of cultivating resiliency I want to be swaddled
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solidarity with everyone trying to explain to their pets why it's not dinner time yet
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telling my 16 month old that she's looking at a winter of severe illness and death, that the president said so
westerners will accept any atrocity if you tell them that the victims deserved it because they made the wrong choices
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you vs the guy she told you not to worry about
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the Frasaissance 👑
Brendan Fraser upcoming projects:
• The Whale (dir: Darren Aronofsky)
• Killers of the Flower Moon (dir: Martin Scorsese) - w/ Jesse Plemons, Leonardo DiCaprio
• Brothers (dir: Max Barbakow) - w/ Glenn Close, Peter Dinklage
• Batgirl (dir: Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah)
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the townsfolk are carrying me around on their shoulders down main street because I read an upsetting article and chose to just leave it at that instead of typing THIS SUCKS and posting the link with no further context. oh, here's the mayor with the key to the city
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I'm crying holy shit
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went on a hike at a nearby trail today just me and the dog. I'm pretty anxious about venturing out of my bubble alone, but I figured if
@BlairBraverman
and her pups can travel almost 1000 miles solo across Alaska I can hike around for a few miles and be OK.
#uglydogs
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when I disregard the meal kit recipe and make something different with the ingredients
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if you are stressed may i suggest looking at botanical illustrations
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his and hers myers briggs insulated wine tumblers. so happy we have this instead of, like, a habitable climate.
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he's sick, but he's hanging in there. tell her. he's gonna get better.
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we've had Rudy for about 1.5 years and this has been my view every night as I am falling asleep
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this is the petco I'd take pup to for nail trims before we moved. so cool.
NEW: Petco workers in Seattle are organizing the company’s first-ever union.
They’re paid just a fraction of what other dog groomers make and say that poor training and negligent management is putting pets—and workers—in danger.
They're unionizing to make the company listen.
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thinking about this again
when someone asks what kind of music i’m into it’s just like...i literally would listen to a full version of this. midwest emo owns my ass in a way that transcends property law.
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his shelter name is rudy and i keep calling him rudence tudence
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there is a hard cooked egg in this mini takeout container everyone remain calm
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when your pear has only taken minimal damage because of proper packing
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cherries cost ~ $8/# at my grocery store right now and these workers are getting $0.30/#. an over 200% difference in wage vs price. they'd have to collect almost 30# to buy 1#. & they're working in inhumane conditions w/no protections. but profit over people is business as usual.
This is one of many crews in Benton City WA who are hard at work trying to save the cherry harvest. It was 113° yesterday and supposed to reach 117° today. The workers shared they were being paid 30 cents per pound.
#WeFeedYou
#Calor
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somehow the canasters labelled salt and beans is the most upsetting thing about this video?
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for me, an ointment doesn't get much better than when it has healing properties
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I can't stop laughing at this
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we're your mom and dad and we're very proud of you
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@DieRobinsonDie
somehow them sending the husband a book about mourning your spouse and then sending a him funeral wreath is like the 10th most fucked up things they did to this couple
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dumb of ass... empty of brain. living in my truth.
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mom: we don't need to see the new minions movie, we have minions at home
the minions at home:
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video of water flowing down in little streams along the beach toward the shore. the sun is sparkling in the water.
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cannot get over this cat named Sky King available for adoption at our local shelter
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we're googling the worst [pop culture thing] + wedding photos we can think of
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me trying to afford myself the grace and gentleness I extent to others unconditionally
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lmao at this line from a write up of an authentic pnw bbq spot
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thinking of baby names and so far Drew's contributions have been Worm and Goblin
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this is basically every murder podcast
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me after watching my first american presidential debate since immigrating to america
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rip jackie o you would've loved the cybertruck
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got in an argument w/a coworker who believes food service workers make too much money in Seattle and that it's their own fault because they chose to work that job and that if they can't afford to live here they should move. yes, he worships Jeff Bezos. yes, he is a white cis male
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*Hank Hill voice* what the hell is a strong bad
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thank you to portrait mode for this extremely good photo of my cat
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I can think of an easier way, but it would involve giving a shit about poor people
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@arod_twit
also I taught her to "hold hands" with the fridge or something on the other side of the kitchen when I needed to get into the oven. basically relied on prevention and then just drilled it into her little brain that oven means ouchie for many months
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s/o to everyone who loves cooking and who also has like one square ft of kitchen counter space
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we bathed him and I trimmed his nails and moisturized his coat and he looks like a million silky bucks
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wow congratulations on turning 6 months old today! keep up the good work, you little cornchip head.
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can't wait to slice into this bad boy later on 🥳
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brunch is a scam unless you're paying me to make you brunch
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when you've succeeded at growing the biggest cabbages
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you, horny: we need the vaccine
me, normal, wants to go to the dentist: we need the vaccine
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45 sneaking on to the potus account to get a few more tweets off
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