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@llewelyn20
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Headteacher in a city primary school. 2 boys. Walking, history, sport, reading, wine, rugby. And the odd thing about schools.
Missing Yorkshire.
Joined July 2010
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A parent saw my letter today about us only receiving 9 laptops, so she rang to ask me if she could buy one for a family that is struggling, and all I could think was that the world is a better place for her being in it and I wish there were more like her.
Her kids are ace too.
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Personally I think the odd missed day of school makes fuck all difference.
But it makes me laugh that kids will be 'deeply harmed' from a day not in school due to strikes, but will be absolutely fine with a day not in school from the coronation.
Make your mind up.
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Y5 boy comes in, edgy.
What's up, I say.
It's our new boy, he says, he's come all the way from Afghanistan.
I know, I say.
And he hasn't got a water bottle, so I've brought him one and I don't know how to give it to him, he says.
I sigh. Is that it, I say, smiling. We'll sort it.
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Nadine Boris is quite right. During lockdown, we'd work a few hours, then get pissed in the staffroom with the cleaners and other staff. EYFS were the worst, with their disco ball and Jager bombs. People came from all over, it was ace. I can barely remember it, I was so hammered.
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This was the day we dreaded. The day young teachers whisper about, the day many of us wake from the nightmare of, sweating, parched, screaming in the hope it would never come.
Yes, it is wet play all day and really, really windy. May your god, if you have one, have mercy...
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Haven't seen this Year 1 boy in 12 weeks. He looks at me, so I look at him and wink.
You ok, I ask.
Yep, he says, still looking. You've changed, he says.
I am older, I say, but then so are you.
I thought you would have a beard, he says.
I thought you'd have one, I say.
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I think we need to be honest and say that schools are no longer just for education. We are a social service, providing food, clothes, mental health care, housing and financial advice, money for transport and childcare.
We need a framework that reflects this reality
@Ofstednews
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I'm off to Yorkshire tomorrow to the retirement do of the lollipop lady at my first school. She's 88. She's been a lollipop lady for over 40 years. She knew the birthday of every child in the school and bought them a card with a pound in every year.
Just a wonderful person.
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So last year, when schools were closed, cases went down.
Then, in the summer when schools were closed, cases went down.
Then schools went back, and cases went up.
Until half term, when schools were closed and cases went down.
I just don’t know what to make of it.
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Hands up if you think the govt will walk face first into another shit storm when the GCSE's come out this week..
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Leaving a school is very hard. A Year 1 boy sits next to me as I am having a second. I think of the lives I've touched, the inspiration I hope I've given, the care, the work.
He looks at me.
What's your name, he says.
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And, lo, it got to 12 o'clock, and Ofsted did not ring, and it was a Wednesday and the staff did rejoice, and there was weeping, and the Head said, Behold and thank Christ because we've got loads of staff off, and they knew there would be dark days ahead, but today is ok...
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This is the most important account to follow on twitter. It is painful and horrible but it is so important. Everyone should follow this account. It is a daily reminder of why we should be grateful, and how easily the mistakes of the past are replicated.
Do it. Now.
3 (or 2) June 1913 A French Jewish woman, Henriette Vecksler (née Bril), was born in Paris.
She arrived at
#Auschwitz
on 25 September 1942 in a transport of 1,000 Jews deported from Drancy. She was murdered in a gas chamber with her sons Claude (in the picture) and Serge.
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Dad of 3 girls calls: he has tested positive.
OK, I say, you ok?
Not too bad, he says.
How are the girls, I ask.
Then it dawns on me. They were in today, I say.
Yes, he says.
But you had symptoms last week, I say.
Should they have been off, he asks.
Mother of christ, I say.
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I see the general population is now getting an insight into what it is like to receive 'guidance' from this government. Angry, confused, amazed at the incompetence, demanding more clarity: welcome to a Headteacher's world for the last 5 months.
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I don’t break up til next week, but I know some teachers break up today.
So in the spirit of solidarity, mutual respect and love, I hope you all have a shit day.
Wankers.
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And teachers were on their knees, and the TA’s also, with weeping and wailing, and great exhaustion was upon them, with sadness, but then came a glimmer of light, in Christmas, and they looked to the skies, but screamed in anguish, for it was a storm, and it was wet play again.
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Parent complains because she brought her child on inset day. You didn’t inform me, she says.
You didn’t get the text, I say.
No.
Or the newsletter.
No.
Or the reminder letter, I ask.
No.
You didn’t look at the website?
No.
I Sigh. How do you want me to communicate with you, I ask
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Outside my office, little girl clatters into me and falls over.
You ok, I ask.
I'm fine, she says.
That's sort of why we don't run, I say, picking her up.
I wasn't running, she says.
Right, I say.
My horse was, she says.
Of course, I say, well, tell the horse not to run inside.
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This year we have had over 100 pupils who are persistently absent, how big does she think my fucking car is.
I already do a 'Walking bus' and personally walk 12 kids in to school. I am the most expensive chaperone in the West Midlands.
I know many autistic children who suffer with severe school anxiety. My own child was one of them. The number of them who would respond positively to the head teacher rocking up at the house and asking them to get in their car is precisely zero.
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About this time each week I stop and realise I've done NOTHING on my 'big list of school improvement'. I also realise I've no concept of what I've actually been doing all day, or indeed all week. I've been crazily busy, I'm knackered, and I have no fucking idea what I've done.
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Already:
3 staff isolating or in quarantine.
2 positive cases in parents.
Children being kept off because of symptoms, awaiting tests.
This is going to be difficult.
The thought of doing SATs or phonics tests is a joke.
If Ofsted turn up now, I may well say 'Goodbye'.
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I need my child to come in, I am a critical worker, the parent says.
We had this discussion last time, I say.
Did we, she says, then you will remember I am in food distribution.
I laugh. You work in a cake shop and it has been closed for weeks, I say.
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It makes me laugh watching ex heads (especially of private schools) & inspectors, sat on their fat arses in their safe and comfy homes, spouting off about what teachers should do during the pandemic.
Go back to bed, you privileged old fuckers, and retire with some dignity.
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Damaged little girl, kicking off in the library. I sit near her, make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. Sometimes you just have to sit it out with them.
Suddenly she turns, her face close to mine. And you, she snarls, pointing at my head.
What, I say.
You need a haircut, she says.
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For Ofsted to be secretly briefing the Telegraph with disinformation about the headteacher who took her own life, just protect their corporate image, says it all. This isn’t some friendly organisation battling to improve kids lives, they are as oily and slick as any govt. agency.
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And so it begins. 6 weeks of waking every day promising I won't drink, only for 4 o'clock to arrive and me think, ah fuck it, it's the holidays.
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Last day and then I return to 9 months of waking in the dark, driving in the dark, safeguarding, behaviour, staffing, the occasional bit of learning, pointless paperwork, driving in the dark, getting home in the dark and falling asleep.
You can tell I'm tingling at the prospect.
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Alex was 15 on Friday. Tonight, I stare at him, lost in thought.
What, he says.
Only it isn't 15 year old Alex, it is 4 year old Alex, wearing a batman t shirt, smiling like the sun and wanting to play.
Nothing, I say.
I cant bear it.
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Meanwhile I nearly brought 3 girls home with me tonight because we suspect they might have been trafficked and there are no foster places.
But, you know, league tables and all that, and I’ll have to answer Ofsted questions about how we teach British values to 5 year olds.
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Always edgy with parents who forget to pick their kids up after residential. They’re away for 5 days, done amazing things, they want to tell them all about it.
As the child waits, I can’t look at their face.
I make the excuses, smile, play it down, it’s an easy mistake to make..
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I have visions of me in the holidays catching up on reading, doing some exercise and having time to think; reflect on my educational vision and strategies for the future.
I’ve just had Turkish delight and 9 chocolates for breakfast and I’ve watched 2 hours of YouTube cat videos.
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Two year 1 boys arguing in the toilet, so I go in. As I open my mouth, a tiny girl snarls at them both. Stop arguing, she says. The boys all silent.
I was going to say that, I say.
Then you should have got here quicker, she says.
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Imagine being in a situation where the answers given by a 6 or 7 year old, to a complete stranger, about learning that happened 2 years ago (through a global pandemic) can affect your career.
That is the lunacy of where we are with Ofsted.
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Tell you what, I've just come out of a fun budget meeting. Oh the laughs we had.
We're all fucked.
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Ok, we thought it’d be better cos we have 5 staff returning, but 4 more have tested positive and 3 more are still ill, so I can’t fucking deal with this anymore and I’ve had a glass of wine and the cricket was shit and I’ve eaten too much so I’m off to watch ‘Death in paradise’.
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Ive got a pastoral lead at work who would have got to the bottom of Cumming’s statement. He’d have been crying his eyes out in minutes, and telling her everything he’d done wrong since he was 10 year old.
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Of course it will be 27°C this week, the first week the children are back.
Of course it is hotter than, well, any other time since the last week the children were in.
Amazing.
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I should be going walking in Yorkshire today, but my idiot friend got covid. That in itself is a blow. But I’d forgotten that, because I was going away for the weekend, Claire decided to invite her parents up.
Yes, they’ll be here when I’m back from work,
#jeffandelaine
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I've taken myself away because Elaine hasn't stopped talking for 5 hours and if she comes in here I'm gonna end her.
Happy Christmas everyone.
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Boy arrives today. Originally Romanian, came via Italy/Spain, but speaks no language fluently. Hasn't been in school for a year. Confused, and frightened.
Took his hand. I'm glad you're here, I said, you'll be brilliant, just you see.
Didn't understand a word, but he smiled.
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Well,
#jeffandelaine
arrive tomorrow. For those who don’t know, and to save you from asking, they are my parents-in-law. Alex and Rudi are their only grandchildren and they love them dearly, and will do anything for them. Claire can do no wrong.
That leaves me.
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For all you (like me) breaking up next week: hang in there, one more week to go. Enjoy the last week with the little lights of our lives, singing joyously and not out of tune, and not vomiting from too much cake, excitement or norovirus.
For all you breaking up today: wankers.
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Seems like a different age. George Bush’s letter to Bill Clinton after being beaten in the presidential race in 1993.
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I’ve lived through accelerated reading, fresh start, precision teaching, use a reading ruler, don’t use a reading ruler, thinking hats, cognitive load, VAK, learning styles, RWI, rainbow reading, Lexia, thinking reading, guided, carousel, direct instruction, peer assessment.
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The amount, severity and complexity of needs of children since Covid has changed schools completely. Nothing's the same. Kids that weren't on our radar present behaviour unimagined. Schools have adapted, but this isn't recognised by dfe or Ofsted, who continue to blindly punish.
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60% of our children don’t speak English at home; some came in boats, or the boots of cars. Some have been evicted, living on food parcels.
Next week we will have statutory tests and our outcomes will be compared to the most affluent, stable and resourced schools in the country.
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Staff and children in schools have changed significantly in the last 3 years: needs, mental health, standards, behaviour, absence, attitudes.
But the institutions that judge and shape schools (Ofsted, dfe) have not.
This lack of understanding is causing despair.
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Looking forward to another day dealing with social care, mental health issues, staff illnesses and budget concerns.
Ah, I remember the days when we actually just taught.
I’m trying to put my finger on the actual time schools became an extension of social care, but I can’t do it.
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I'm going to send that Joe Wicks geezer some feedback as well. There were a couple of points where the pace of learning dropped slightly, not sure the sen kids made sufficient progress over the whole lesson.Maybe an informal support and challenge plan for him..
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I know this sounds pathetic. I know how this will be seen by people not in education. But I’ve never seen people so ill, so demoralised. There is so much ‘noise’ in peoples lives; parents, brothers, everyone knows someone ill, or dead. It is like there is a collective depression.
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Phone goes.
Hello, I say.
Do you want some bread, a shout.
What, I say, jeff?
I’m at Morrisons, do you want some bread, he says.
Morrisons, I say.
In Leominster, he says, it’s heaving.
Are you coming here, I ask slowly.
Didn’t Claire tell you, he laughs.
No she fucking didn’t.
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And now new, stronger illnesses sweep through our schools. Some are seen: the coughing, aches, wheezing, rashes.
But some are unseen: fear, panic, worry, despair.
But targets remain the same for attendance, league tables stay, Ofsted ramp up the expectations.
I’m done now.
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Just been asked how old my boys are and I answered '5 and 7'. Then I realised they are actually 15 and 17 but that can't be right because it was only last week I was carrying them on my back and play fighting and reading to them in bed and holding their hands and I can't cope.
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I think I just heard a journalist from the Daily Mirror say 'I have spoken to a number of Headteachers and they are desperate to get the schools open'.
Which Headteachers has she been speaking to? Really?
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Little girl in Y4 who (for a variety of horrific reasons) is especially damaged, hard to reach. Last week I did a magic trick; I found my way in. Last night Rudi did one for her, and I showed her on my phone.
Instant joy, a small light for her, when her world is mostly darkness.
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You what? You want a pic of how I'm feeling after a fucking relentless week of Ofsted and interviews and headless birds in the playground and vomit and blocked toilets (I'm sure the inspector blocked it) and scarlet fever and massive fucking wasps?
Here.
Cheers, beautiful people.
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I know I go on about it, and I know it gets boring, but I firmly believe the best thing you can do for your mental health, or well being, or feng shui, for perspective and calm, is go for a walk. Preferably somewhere with no people.
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Jeff looks forlorn in the kitchen.
You’ll see them in February, I say.
It’s not that, he says, they’d get bored and I want them to go off and have great lives, but I don’t know how much longer I have left and I would see them every day if I could.
I know Jeff, I say.
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Well, Alex did exactly how I thought. Managed to pass them all: excelled in some, could have done better in others, but his first words when he got in the car were: I'm never going to have to do maths again.
He'll do ok, that one..
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I know I’m lucky to work with children. And I do love my job a lot of the time.
But the first Monday morning after a holiday is always fucking horrible.
But, we go again…
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Well, I had my heart stopped and started again today. 3rd time. It's worked (although it did last time). Grim.
But having a cheeky rum now to recover.
Life is short, groovy bastards, so make it count...
And I must be fucking delerious to post a pic. It'll be gone tomorrow..
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Tiny girl in Y1, new to school, and country.
Mum almost as anxious as her. You ok, I say to Mum.
She's nervous, answers the girl. I kneel down. But you're ok, I say, smiling.
No, she says.
Would you like me to come with you, I say, taking her hand, we'll be brilliant.
Tiny smile.
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We have performances arranged for parents. Next week, we will probably have to cancel them.The dfe will then threaten me with legal action if they don’t go ahead. So they will.The day after, the dfe will declare all school performances should be cancelled and threaten me if I do.
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And so they go. They sneak a look in the boys rooms because they can’t bear to go without seeing them; they remember them as toddlers. They always pause, holding the moment, because they don’t want to let them go.
My boys know they’re loved, but I don’t think they know how much.
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12 years ago, I long listed for a TA job we had advertised for. I remember there were more than 50 applications and it took me ages.
Today, 2 people dropped out of our interviews for the same position. They were 2 of only 4 applicants.
What has happened?
Where are all the people?
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If either of those two resign, I’ll walk naked down Bewdley high street balancing a pint on my head.
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My god, it is just fucking insane in schools at the moment.
Relentless.
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Before I get too leathered, I thought I'd wish everyone a happy new year. There is always misery, pain, darkness, arrogance and anger. But there is also light, kindness, hope and wonder. Sometimes you just can't see it.
Sending peace and salutations.
NB ignore tweets from here.
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I’m having an existential crisis about our education system. I’m overwhelmed by the endless, meaningless assessment, marking, data, initiatives, jargon, fads, comedy ties and socks, beards, men with beards, objectives, success criteria....it is all bollocks.
Deep breath.
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Y1 boy says, you know that day you helped me, that was kind, why don't you do assemblies about being kind.
I do loads of assemblies about being kind, I say.
You could do a better one, he says.
Christ, I think, Ofsted in shorts.
Cheers, I say, anything else I could improve?
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I've been doing a sit up and therefore missed the news, but am I reading this right: not enough teachers could be arsed to vote on whether to take industrial action?
Brilliant. And people wonder why the govt continues to fuck us all over..
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I may have sad this before, but every morning I wake up and think; right, I'll have a day off the booze today.
Then, literally every day at about 4pm I think, fuck it, it's the holidays.
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As a person who once walked past a school, I am beyond horrified at the fact they will stay closed all summer. I mean, what are these lazy teachers going to do all day? Bring back national service, that's what I say. And you can't get a pint of mild these days because of Brussels
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Alex got a job in a pub as a kitchen porter. Tonight was his first night. As I arrive to pick him up, he walks across the car park with 2 bin bags. From nowhere, I see him as a 3 year old, toddling in dungarees, seeing me and his face lighting up.
And then it vanishes..
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In the last two weeks, I haven't used a single policy that we have devised recently. Critical incident, Health and Safety, Safeguarding, Contingency plans...all absolutely useless.
We need a serious look at evaluating what we do in schools, and for whom.
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Last night I was reminiscing about the days when GPDR was a thing. The hours of training, the panic about lists on walls, or names on pegs, no Christmas card lists or you’d be jailed. Ofsted ready to pounce.
Who’d have thought it would have turned out to be nearly all bollocks.
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The minute Cummings wasn't sacked (all those months ago), and the gaslighting that followed, was the minute all future lockdowns were compromised. People thought 'fuck it'...
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Fucking pay for it then, you fucking idiot. It's alright saying this shit, but who pays for it? We pay for psychologists, speech and language, mental health, sensory...so who fucking pays for it, Matt? It's alright fucking saying it.
I can say 'everyone should be happy'..
Today I’m calling for universal dyslexia screening in every primary school and improved teacher training for dyslexia
It is an outrage that only 1 in 5 dyslexic children leave school identified & that teachers do not need training to support dyslexic children
This must change
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It’s only Wednesday, some people haven’t even broken up yet, and Ive just had half a fresh cream donut, a pork pie (with Stilton), some peanuts and a swig of Irn Bru for breakfast. This doesn’t bode well.
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Do staff have access to the policies, she asks.
Oh yes, I say, policies area all located on central area. We do have a policies club for staff where we read our favourite extracts, and talk about them, I say.
Do you, she asks brightly.
No, I say, not really.
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I save reading for the holiday. I imagine myself, glass of St.Emilion in hand, classical music on, perusing a Russian novel, or the latest research into education and ofsted.
The reality is I’m sat here with a massive bag of cheese puffs, watching YouTube videos about cats.
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Just read an article where many ‘well-being’ leads in schools are giving up their roles, to look after their well-being.
I’m not sure one story encapsulates education more perfectly for this current time.
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Our cook is a proper feeder, I love her. It is fish, so I ask for a fish butty. I get two, with 8 fish fingers in each.
Next day: Stella, I say, can I just have 1 bap please.
Ok, she says.
I get it back to my office, it feels bulky. I open it up, there are 16 fish fingers in it.
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This doesn't bode well. Our first parent tells me she is working from home.
Are you joking, I say, have you not seen anything this weekend. Your kids shouldn't be here unless absolutely necessary.
My manager said I had to send them in, she says.
Take them home, I say, Jesus.
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My brother is rough, he'll knock your teeth out as soon as he'll say hello. He will laugh with you, but, if you offend him, he'll gladly stomp on your head. And I'll look on. He's vulgar, hilarious, clever, but he loves his nephew Alex.
What a wonderful card...
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Y1 girl struggling
What number is that, I ask.
7, she says.
Ok, and if I add 2, then how many are there.
Silence.
Ok, let's draw 7 circles, I say.
She draws them.
And then draw 2 more.
Like that, she says
So let's count them. 123456789.
So what is 7 + 2, I say.
Unicorn, she says.
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Well, I'll try to tweet tomorrow, but it's Christmas day and I really shouldn't be sat there tweeting all day. But I can't help it, it makes me laugh so much. Anyway, goodnight and I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas.
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Pastoral lead comes in, she has been speaking to a member of staff who wants to come back in.
I told her she can’t, she says, because she is clitically vulnerable.
She’s what, I spit my tea out.
Clitically vulnerable, she confirms.
Pause.
Right, I say, well if you’re sure.
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It's a job. You can do what you can do. Keep a little bit of yourself separate, is my advice, because death comes fast and in the end, we make tiny bits of difference. But that will do. So let things go and get the rest you deserve.
You realise I'm talking to myself here.
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1/2- I am going to tell you what will happen. One school, somewhere, will have a staff member that gets corona and dies. That Head will be hung out to dry as their risk assessments and communications and advice are scrutinised by people who did nothing during this crisis.
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These fuckers, who you didn't see for dust when the pandemic broke, and have been working at home ever since, come crawling out of the woodwork to give judgements about something they didn't experience.
Business as usual for Ofsted now.
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Without whinging, I think one of the problems is that we are trying to implement pre-covid frameworks and expectations on to a post covid world.
The world has changed, but the institutions and authorities will not accept this. ‘Back to normal’ isn’t working.
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A week in and our school is calm, positive and as safe as it can be. That is because of the professionalism and devotion of our staff. The most stressful time was BEFORE we opened, with contradictory, vague guidance and no clear leadership from the
@educationgovuk
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On the plane, one of us had to sit next to someone else, a stranger. I'll do it, I say.
Alex stands up, no I'll do it, he says.
Aw Alex, I say, nice of you to think of your father.
I wasn't thinking of you, he says, I was thinking of the poor person who'd have to sit next to you.
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say It again: you can have all your planning, your displays, your laminated resources and your squidgy balls. But if you can’t love your children and get them to love you, you’ve no chance.
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I see a shepherd outside the hall, I sit next to him.
What’s up, I ask.
I don’t want to do it, he says.
Why, I say.
I’m rubbish, he says.
Well I doubt that, I say, but even if you are who cares, it’s fun.
And I’ve weed on my costume, he adds.
Happens to us all, I say.
16
11
536