Chet
@NoCapCapitalLLC
Followers
5,991
Following
654
Media
559
Statuses
4,069
I still hold two league hockey records: most time spent in the penalty box, and I was the only guy to ever take off his skates and try to stab somebody
New York, NY
Joined June 2020
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Last Seen Profiles
When you add nothing but “thank you” to the end of an hour long call
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This guy at the bar last night told me he works at Goldman Sachs and when I told him I’ve never heard of it he started acting like I just pushed his grandma down the stairs
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Instagram has made it way more common for older men to turn younger girls who are easily impressed by money into escorts. Extremely common phenomenon happening in New York right now. Ex used to get dms from older men like this all the time.
Guys out here doing all this for ran thru puss
Hoeflation is getting out of control
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How it feels working remote on the opposite coast when half the company is OOO
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First date idea: I accidentally like one of your IG posts from 2016 10 minutes before we meet
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Dming an egirl with under 100 followers is like buying nvidia in 2018
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Valentines day will have girls you haven’t spoken to in 4 years hitting you up
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When people ask me what I like to do in my free time I just send them this pic
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People are ripping on this video like they haven’t at least once engaged in nonsensical business planning while absolutely sauced at 3am
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“Bro it’s a Wednesday. You brought a bag to happy hour on a Wednesday?”
Bro:
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Pulled up to the fedex store asking the employees if they could package and ship my 49 inch curved monitor and they looked at me like I was holding a loaded gun
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Told this Penn girl I matched with on Hinge I want to commit mass genocide to her body. I was hoping she’d reply “it depends on the context” but she just unmatched immediately.
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Not a big crypto guy but if someone dropped Zyncoin I’d cave
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Uber execs watching people willingly pay $110 for an uber from jfk to manhattan
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Dudes who consistently heart react Teams messages should be released with the women and children in hostage situations
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My MD thinks I don’t work enough, my ex complained I never spent enough time with her, and my therapist thinks I need to take more time to focus on myself.
Trifecta
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Some of his old tweets belong in the Louvre
The Coca Cola company is not happy with me--that's okay, I'll still keep drinking that garbage.
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The people who didn’t participate in ‘blackout wednesday’ waking up this morning
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When you sell your company for 9 figures and buy it all back for $0
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Phoenix is hilarious. No pretentiousness. Everyone is just indifferent to their low IQ. I think it’s amazing:
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When you wake up next to hannah from marketing after the company holiday party
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Currently at the “I’m never drinking again” stage of the cycle
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When you’re on a date and she asks for your opinion on the Israel Palestine conflict
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Politics aside, this photo is incredibly hard.
1987 with my boys.
This Super Bowl Sunday, I hope you can take part in the age-old American traditions of eating great food, gathering with great friends, and watching a great game.
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When you add nothing but “thank you” to the end of an hour long call
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Me bringing up the most insane business plan you’ve ever heard at the 4am afters
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Flip flops at the airport… Airport etiquette continues to decline with no end in sight. We used to be a country. A proper country.
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“Ukraine is a money laundering scheme for Blackrock” - friend who was so drunk he had to be put in a Lyft home before dinner started
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Twitter dms are down? All the married dudes with kids that slide in girls dms all day must be punching dry wall rn
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Me trying to add value to a meeting after being on mute for the entirety of the call
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Being a guy in your 20s is a never ending comedy of allowing passion to overpower cunning and reason
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Been struggling with the ladies lately. What am I doing wrong?
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Churchill won the war on two bottles of champagne and ten cigars a day and you are buying a $800 office chair and $12 coffee drink just to REF out the model
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If you are over 25 and still feel the need to validate yourself by talking about where you went school you’re a loser. Same goes for whoever is hiring.
The non-target IB analyst trying to get a buyside job
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No amount of wealth will ever make up for having bad taste and health
Dress code doesn't matter when you're a billionaire
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my dream gf
-batshit insane
-daddy issues
-upper east side
-drug problem
-psychologically torments me
-blonde
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VP: “I need this done EOD. Any questions?”
Me: *checks notes* “Good for now, thanks.”
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“Hello?”
“Yeah, we’re listening.”
“Well if you’re listening let me talk!”
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Deleted all dating apps. Decided to try to meet someone the old-fashioned way: throwing lavish parties mysteriously in hopes that one day the right one shows up
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Kicking off Friday night with 2 of my favorite narcotics. Alcohol and blondes.
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Was introduced to this guy who said he used to work at McKinsey and I said “Oh, that’s like Deloitte right?” and he looked at me like I just pushed his grandma down the stairs.
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Dating history:
-batshit insane blonde with daddy issues
-batshit insane blonde that psychologically tormented me
-batshit insane blonde with a drug problem
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Dad: “hearing rumors of a potential widespread banking collapse, stock up on something you can eat for 30 days.”
Me:
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One of the better views I’ve seen out of a conference room window
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I love nyc but there is no denying the financial future for the vast majority of its residents is bleak. Most people without inheritance will never own property on a single income and the dating culture is somewhat antithetical to cohabitation.
“$200k salary is middle class in nyc” what in the living fuck are u doing every month with $11k after taxes. Skill issue
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Strange how in America during the post-war Eisenhower era, at the height of our industrial and imperial power, men drank double-martinis at lunch. Now, in its decline, it’s common to boast about abstinence.
Something has gone terribly wrong.
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If you abstain from drugs and alcohol you don’t actually live longer, It just seems longer
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Drinking wine out of the bottle with A$AP Rocky blasting in a manhattan penthouse
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Every time someone from New York moves to Miami the average IQ in both places goes up
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The biggest problem with SF is not that it has tent cities. It’s not that 80% of the dudes you meet are “CEOs” of a company with no revenue.
It is the fact that it’s a sausage fest unlike the world has ever seen.
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Ah yes, NYC on NYE, where even the most mid venue you’ve ever seen is charging $150+ for entry.
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Airport etiquette continues to decline with no end in sight. We used to be a country. A proper country.
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That one dude when he hears keys jingling in the bathroom stall at a club
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Just went on a date… Her personality was a clunker but her body was a sensational invitation to make babies.
The corvette of dates
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Damn you went to a nice restaurant again? That’s craaaazy. Make sure you post it to your ig story so everyone knows. We all really need to know that.
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By the time this CVS employee unlocks the condoms, I might be ready to start a family.
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