Rosie Jones
@josierones
Followers
221,032
Following
477
Media
611
Statuses
3,764
Talk funny. Walk funny. Write funny.
London
Joined May 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Hiya twats! I am very excited to announce that I am extending my tour AGAIN and in the spring I am going to a whole load of sexy places. Buy tickets on my website. I’ll see ya there 🍑
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Just driven to Barnard Castle to check whether I still have Cerebral Palsy. I do.
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The sad thing is that I’m not surprised at the ableist abuse I’ve received tonight regarding my appearance on Question Time. It’s indicative of the country we live in right now. I will keep on speaking up, in my wonderful voice, for what I believe in.
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Sean was a comedic giant and one of the kindest men. His comic mind was incomparable and his rants were exquisite. He had time for everyone, and treated me exactly the same, from when I was a researcher to when I became an overly excitable teammate. I’ll miss you Sean ❤️
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31 years today I was born not breathing. But I survived. Happy fucking birthday to me.
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I am disabled and I am bloody proud of it.
“I went to university, I got a job and with my cerebral palsy have been a successful and independent human being. I am proud of who I am.”
Comedian
@josierones
says her life has “without a doubt” been better because of the Disability Discrimination Act
#bbcqt
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Every time I tweet anything about being gay I lose about 300 followers, so I guess there’s just one thing to do…HELLO MY NAME IS ROSIE AND I LIKE BOOBS.
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I spent a long time believing that I couldn't be on TV because of how I spoke, and then I realised that I am PERFECTLY understandable if people removed their head out of their own arseholes and just listened to me. Anyone complaining that I'm not understandable can fuck off. Bye.
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Man 1 makes inappropriate joke.
Man 2 responds inappropriately.
And that's my hot take on the whole thing.
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I wish I could tell my ten year old self that one day she’d be performing opera on live tv in front of millions of people. Anything is possible 💕
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Felt it was so important to speak about the online abuse I receive every time I’m on TV. It’s not bloody ok for anybody to receive this amount of rubbish!
Rosie Jones reveals, with brutal honesty, some of the the abuse she faces as a female, disabled, comedian
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The genuine horror of a Londoner when I, a Yorkshire lass, use the colloquial term for goodbye up north: 'see you later'. You can see them thinking, 'have we planned to meet later, or is she going to show up randomly at my house in the middle of the night?'
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Just a reminder...if you don't find me, or another comedian, funny, that's totally understandable. Comedy is subjective. BUT there's no need to write your dislike for us on here, making sure to tag us into the tweet. Just change the channel and get on with your life, yeh?
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Introducing…Dr Rosie Jones. Honourary doctorate of The University of Huddersfield. Let me know if you want me to perform any minor surgery on you. I’ll give it a good go.
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This isn’t an advert but today my Spillnot cup holder came and I can’t tell you how much of a game changer it is. As somebody with cerebral palsy I’ve had to drink liquid exactly where I pour it. NOT ANYMORE BABY!! Anybody want me to bring them a cuppa?
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Emotional day today. I finally met my biological father.
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To the twats who still say that seeing me on panel shows is 'painful' and 'unbearable',
FUCK OFF.
Yours sincerely,
Rosie Jones.
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The first time I ever had a work meeting I was fourteen. I was at my friend's house, and when my Dad picked me up I chucked up in his car. The first of many, many work meetings.
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It's my birthday today, and each year I challenge my family to hold their breath for longer than my brain was starved of oxygen when I was born...17 minutes. They hate the game and as of yet, nobody has come close to beating my record. Losers.
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Just received this message from
@Uber
. I was wearing a mask and the driver drove away. I had a hand on the door and I was left in the road. He thought I was drunk. I wasn’t. I have cerebral palsy. Please make sure your drivers know the difference between the two. This is ableism.
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Disappointed to read of The Queen’s reluctance to use a wheelchair. In 2022 ableism and internalised ableism is still everywhere. Mobility aids are not a defeat. They are life ENHANCING. Elizabeth love, don’t you want to look as sexy as me and Maureen 🥰
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At 4am on the streets of Edinburgh I was a victim of an attack. His name is
@MrNishKumar
and has been pushing disabled ladies (specifically ones with strong Yorkshire accents and spectacular breasts) to the floor since 2018. He has arms and is dangerous. He must be stopped.
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I am in the May issue of
@BritishVogue
! When I was little, the word ‘disabled’ meant you couldn’t be a lot of things. A disabled person couldn’t be funny, or sexy, or iconic. This issue blows these archaic preconceptions out of the water. I am so proud to be part of the movement.
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Just had a mad, angry cry about the photos of JK Rowling at the Terf gathering. It's disgusting how members of our community can be so hateful. How are we ever meant to break through barriers, and stop discrimination if we're too busy attacking each other? Stop. Hate.
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I've been receiving lots of lovely, positive messages about my upcoming travel show, and television appearances in general, which makes my heart so full, but I can't ignore the influx of negative, and frankly ableist comments. This is NEVER ok. Stop it, shut up and fuck off.
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My Dad just sent me this and I feel emotional. At 6 months old my parents knew I had a disability, but many things were unknown. Would I ever talk? Would I ever walk? I’ve blown all of their hopes and dreams out of the water. Cos I’ve just opened a bottle of beer with a teaspoon.
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Happy World CP Day! I have read a few messages which describe people as ‘suffering’ from cerebral palsy. I hate this. I DELIGHT in having CP. I write books, I climb mountains, and I smash every archaic, ableist preconception of what it means to have CP out of the water. CHEERS!
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During a recording of my Radio 4 series today, I was interrupted by a drunk, angry heckler. This tweet is about the 50 other audience members and bar staff who supported me and got her to (eventually) leave. For every twat in the world, there's 50 absolute legends. Remember that.
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I feel incredibly lucky to be out here at the Paralympics and last night was an emotional one for me. Never underestimate what people with disabilities can do. I’m so fucking proud to have cerebral palsy.
#TeamCP
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Hello BBC, before you inevitably get to me, no, I will not present MOTD tomorrow.
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Tokyo, I’m leaving my heart here. These few weeks have been emotional and tiring and BRILLIANT. I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without this fantastic team. Being able to watch greatness on a daily basis has been one of the greatest privileges. I’m proud to be disabled.
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Just received this Insta comment. Although messages like this are an unfortunately regular occurrence for me, I still don’t understand how people are so full of hate they think it’s ok to write this kind of abhorrent abuse. Stop ableist abuse. Stop hate online. Stop all of this.
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Hello world, please meet Maureen. Two days into this Paralympic adventure, my producer (and very good friend) Hannah asked me if I wanted to rent a mobility scooter for our time in Tokyo. Our days are long, the venues are massive and it is HOT. 1/6
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I’m fully aware that it’s Sunday and I don’t give a fuck.
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When my parents were my age they were married, with two kids, and owned their house. For lunch today I ate half a jar of peanut butter and four Creme Eggs.
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My Nana has just rang me up to ask me not to, ‘swear as much as you do on the telly’ when we go out for tea tomorrow. Challenge fucking accepted.
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CAN WE STOP CONGRATULATING PEOPLE ON COMPLETING MARATHONS? IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. I'VE COMPLETED HUNDREDS OF MARATHONS IN MY LIFE. AND CAN WE STOP CALLING THEM MARATHONS? THEY'RE CALLED SNICKERS!
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Not bad considering that this is NOT A FUCKING WORD.
Wordle 242 5/6
⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜
⬜🟩⬜🟩⬜
⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜
⬜🟩⬜🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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Today is 'International Day of Persons with Disabilities' - a day for everybody to promote an understanding of disability issues. My disability has never affected me negatively, but people's archaic views impact me on a daily basis. Disability isn't bad, prejudice is.
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No person should be asked to do a 'naked audition', ever. And while we're here, no disabled actor should be asked if they can, "tone down the disability" in an audition. True story.
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I have no time or energy to explain how wrong this is, but the entitlement, misogyny and homophobia in this tweet, disguised as ‘support’ for me, is enraging. It’s not funny and nobody should have to put up with this disgusting behaviour. Call this out and be better.
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It's mad to me that when I was 18, in 2008, we'd go on a night out, take HUNDREDS of photos, and the next morning post all of them on Facebook. ALL OF THEM. Wouldn't even check 'em. No sniff of a filter. Upload all? Even the one of me with asleep with doner meat on my face? Yep.
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And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
Dear Trolls, lots of love,
@josierones
and the
#ComplaintsWelcome
team
@tomallencomedy
@jessicaknappett
@munyachawawa
💗
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Tonight I was told that I “didn’t look gay”, so this is just a reminder that ‘looking gay’ isn’t a thing. I’m proud to be me. This is gay.
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When I came out as gay it was a positive, joyous experience, because I was able to come out on my terms, when I was ready. I feel extremely sad when people are forced to come out sooner than they wish to. A person's sexuality is none of your business.
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Three reasons I should be the next Bake Off Presenter:
1. I like cake.
2. I like bread.
3. Always the risk of me sabotaging a contestant's bake by dribbling in the mixture.
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If anybody wants to see what a cunt looks like, tune in to GB News at 9pm...
I will be defining what a woman this evening on
@GBNEWS
at 9pm.
See you then 🙋🏽♀️🙋🏼♀️🙋🏾♀️
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My generation’s equivalent to, “When I was young, it was all fields round ‘ere” is “When I was young, this was a Woolworths”
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Just been emailed by a scammer telling me that my Netflix account has been hacked. How do I know it's a scam? Because I don't have Netflix, like every other adult in their thirties I still use my Dad's account. TAKE THAT CONMAN.
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Thrilled to see that lesbians were trending, until I read why. I am not sharing the transphobic article, but I AM going to say that that piece of trash is not the consensus of all gay women. Next time when 'lesbians' are trending, can it just be loads of fit pictures of me?
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POV. It’s New Year. We’re having ravioli and we’ve had so many red wines we don’t know what fucking year we’re about to go into. HNY Baby.
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Oh good,
@MrNishKumar
is trending. What an incredible opportunity to remind people that Nish Kumar has been ruthlessly pushing a poor little disabled lady over for the past three years. Shame on you Nish Kumar.
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The stories about Corden are unsurprising. Before I was a comic I was a researcher in telly and I was ignored and spoken to SO rudely by some people. Now, those same people couldn’t be nicer to me. There’s no excuse. Whoever you are and whoever you’re talking to, don’t be a dick!
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Got Wordle, in two, for the third day in a row. At what point do I accept the fact that I am a FUCKING GENIUS?
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It absolutely blows my mind that kids these days have Tablets and iPads to keep them occupied during long car journeys. In my day you just stared out of the window and counted Eddie Stobart lorries. Hours of fun.
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Part of my cerebral palsy means that I sometimes have intention tremors. This is a trembling of a part of the body when attempting a precise movement. I’ve just had one whilst making a tea, resulting in a burnt knuckle. Could be worse. Last week I had one whilst shaving my fanny.
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Just done the most remarkable thing for a person with cerebral palsy. I changed my tampon, on a moving train, hovering over the loo and clamping onto my boiler suit to make sure it didn’t drop onto the pissy floor. I have exceeded all of my parents’ expectations. I’m incredible.
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Can somebody please just make a banging romcom where the main character just happens to have a physical disability? And it isn't a big deal? I'd watch the shit out of that. (I'm not saying I should play the main character, but I'm not NOT saying I should play the main character!)
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Guess which prick is on her way to the Paralympic Opening Ceremony. (It’s me, I’m the prick)
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My look tonight is “lesbian boss at the office Christmas party” 🤶🏼
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Cheers to you from me, my favourite gay and my gorgeous teeth.
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Uncharacteristically moany tweet from me this morning, but please can establishments remember to put sanitary bins in accessible loos. People with disabilities still menstruate. And whilst you’re in there, pop up a mirror and treat us to some nice soap, ta!
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When I graduated university I genuinely considered becoming a vicar. Until I realised that I wasn’t religious in the slightest and I had watched A LOT of The Vicar Of Dibley. I just wanted to be Dawn French!
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Started to worry that I wasn’t noticeable enough in the stadiums, so I bought a party hat.
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Just waiting for my bus at the bus stop. A bus comes, advertising
@Channel4
's Altogether Different campaign. I turned to the lady next to me and said, 'That is me! On that bus!'. She looked at me, and she looked at the bus. She couldn't have given less of a shit. Respect.
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Happy Pride from me and my beautiful tattoo. Three years old today. I look at it everyday and I feel so fucking proud to be gay.
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Genuinely have no respect for adult Harry Potter fans in 2022.
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I can’t be a lesbian, I love wearing dresses. I have long hair. I’m disabled. For ages I didn’t accept my sexuality. I couldn’t relate to any of the archaic stereotypes associated with the word. Happy World Lesbian Day to all lesbians, no matter what you look like or who you are!
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As a human lacking fine motor skills, I honestly think I could keep down a job as a hairdresser longer than Liz Truss was PM. And I'd be fucking better at it...slightly fewer casualties.
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Oh bloody hell, look who has their own Channel 4 Travel Show!
Comedian Rosie Jones is to front a new comedy, spoof travelogue for Channel 4: A Great British, Female, Gay, Disabled, Covid Compliant Adventure.
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Just sorted out my bastard of a hangover with a big bag of Doritos and shit loads of full fat Coke. Worked a treat. I think that’s science.
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Tonight a man laughed maniacally in my face. It was terrifying and me and my friend were so shook up it took us a minute to realise that he had taken my phone. I am fine, not harmed, but I feel foolish that I didn't know what was happening. Some people are cunts.
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This hero pushed me for 26.2 miles. I thought I’d repay the favour.
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Johnson ordering an inquiry into the No 10 Christmas party is like me ordering an inquiry into who bought a kebab after my night out, who shoved the receipt in my bra, who popped half of it in my belly, who made cradle the box as I slept and who stuck half of the meat to my face.
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Just changed my Disney + password and within 10 minutes had half a dozen texts from friends (and my mum) asking me for the new password. It's "PAYFORYOUROWNACCOUNTYOUCHEAPTWATS".
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I really don’t want to get the coronavirus but, let’s be honest, with the speed of my voice, if I sang “Happy Birthday�� twice over whilst washing my hands, I’d be there all bloody day.
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World Cerebral Palsy Day on Thursday and today is International Lesbian Day? Why don’t we just rename it ROSIE WEEK?
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It really shouldn't be this hard to find accessible housing.
Why is it impossible to find accessible housing?!
#GotYourBack
#AltogetherDifferent
@joelycett
@josierones
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Loved having a platform to speak about
#onlineabuse
on
@TheLastLeg
last night, and in particular ableism. Speak up, call it out and stop it happening.
This is me. If you don’t like it, fuck off.
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Sometimes
@MrNishKumar
pushes me over. Other times he allows me to sit on his knee and tell him what I want for Christmas.
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What happens when you give a little angry lady with cerebral palsy an axe? She hits the fucking target mate.
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Absolutely fuming that I have never been asked to do The Masked Singer. Mainly because I want households up and down the country to question why a bag of chips has got cerebral palsy.
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Happy International Day of Persons With Disabilities. We’re a flawed, brilliant, sexual, diverse group of people. Do not underestimate, patronise or ignore us. Lots of love, Captain Palsy.
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Went to the BAFTAs. Was nominated. Took my mum. Didn’t win. Got arseholed on champagne. Best night ever.
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Can’t believe I’m leaving sunny Greece for a miserable London. I’m coming back rested and refreshed, but with a horribly burnt back…the only downside of going on holiday on your own. What a wonderful week, I’m feeling very happy right now!
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