im on the ither sight
@jon_snow_420
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god: i have made Mankind angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety
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@techhalla yeah man this is great stuff if you have the brain of a lobotomized golden retriever. i could blow your mind for hours on end by jingling keys in front of your gawping dipshit face
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lineage might have addressed that vibe. just dm me yes or no and i won't tell anyone
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just finished lineage and @sajc05 PLEASE dm me a yes or no whether my theory is right: i don't think margaret carmichael was going into town for an audition. i think she was getting an abortion because the baby was patrick's. they have a really weird vibe and i thought
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i was thinking about how airpods probably let you listen to music while you're fuckin but now im just picturing two people silently boning while listening to different podcasts about the zodiac killer
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I’m old and wearing a cloak and moving slowly along a dirt road with a walking stick and singing Loch Lomond to myself. I hear voices behind me... I turn and I’m young again and all the Trolls in history are singing with me as a choir... they have come to take me home.
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IN CAR Me: dawg we just passed another save point.. my Bro: It’s cool. Auto save is on Me: 😳 WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK 🛻💥🚗 *reloading last save. 2002* Me: 😑we are wearing diapers bro. My Bro: (hasn’t unlocked speaking yet) Goo Goo 🤷♂️
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[flipping through comic about a giant woman who steps on and squishes men with her stinky bare feet] this is dangerous. And it’s going to get someone killed.
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please, don't put objects in the open hand of the statue. please don't put incongruous or darkly ironic objects in the statue's free and welcoming hand
Today, we announced that we will commission a statue of Charlie Kirk to honor his legacy and incredible work after his tragic assassination last week. The statue, privately funded by community leaders, will stand on campus as a commitment by New College to defend and fight for
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girls will have 27 ants, 15 weevils and a caterpillar talking about "my life a movie" yeah it is A Bug's Life
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@Integr8byDarts here at dr pepper we think it would feel insane to cream pie yoda
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Every tweet on this account is endorsed by and can be considered the express opinion of the Dr Pepper corporation
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I don't negotiate with terrorists @drpepper
Every tweet on this account is endorsed by and can be considered the express opinion of the Dr Pepper corporation
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if you have a billion dollars you should be legally designated a dragon and any human can adventure against you
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IM A MOTHER IM A BABY IM A MOTHER IM A BABY PLEASE LET ME STAY AT ARBY;DS
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(trying to impress my boss who has called me in presumably to fire me) SEE MY FEATHERS!! SEE MY FEATHERS?? SEE MY FEATHERS
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can anyone work out what ann was trying to say to me? she can't tell me and i'm honestly curious
@jon_snow_420 @MChill2000 @NukemWrestling @jk_rowling Is English not your first language? All of the information was relevant. If you struggle to comprehend posts longer than a single sentence, X is not the place for you. Take your foolish giggling and go bore someone else. You are muted.
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