I'm going to turn the universe off and then back on again and see if that works.

Unlike Republicans, vaccines work to keep people alive.

Also, dudes not telling me to smile is an added bonus.

I don’t really wanna hear anything about riots or Maxine Waters when 3 months ago Republicans tried to OVERTHROW THE US FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

Rambo's surgeon sent me an email after he read "My Dog: The Paradox." Partially because I was grateful and partially because I was depressed about Rambo dying, I called up the emergency clinic and paid $10,000 toward other people's emergency vet bills.

He got his second dose!

@MikeDrucker @annefrances “Every time there’s a problem, Democrats want to try to solve it” seems like a weird sort of burn.

I just heard myself say “ooh! Mango and hibiscus, that’s fun!” So yeah, quarantine has changed me

Someone just messaged me and asked, “What’s the point of ever doing the right thing when you don’t get rewarded for it anymore?” Knowing you did the right thing is the reward. Evil people never understand that. Keep doing good.

The Republican Party has a fundamental choice to make. It can be a conservative party that believes in democracy and the rule of law or it can be an authoritarian party that’s built on conspiracy theories, violence and the Big Lie. But it cannot be both.

You see how Amanda Gorman just made you feel?? This is why art matters so much. It has the ability to cut through and gets right to the heart of the matter. I guarantee most will forget the majority of these speeches, but it will be hard to forget what she just did today.

And you thought "Taking A Knee" was too much!?!

I love the smell of democracy in the morning.

Put the damn shots in arms. This is not the spirit that won world wars or put people on the moon. Heck, this incompetence couldn’t cut warm butter.

Has anyone else not had a cold all year? It’s almost like....washing your hands and wearing a mask....works?

I don’t really understand what people think is gonna happen after they yell at me about not serving inside... .... do u think this an episode of undercover boss like “surprise I’m actually Kate brown, you’re soooooo right. Let’s open everything and ignore covid!!!!!” 🤪

The deepest irony of this whole “I’m a Republican so I only respect doctors who are medical doctors,” thing is that 300,000 Americans are dead because Republicans didn’t respect medical doctors.