Phone (literally any other time of day): Oh, hey face! Sure, here are your notifications, banking apps, access to everything personal always! Phone (7am): Who the fuck are you???? Anyone else have this problem?

#TheLastLeg @TheLastLeg I smell shite #BullshitButton

Does it really only count if you do it to loads and loads of women or does it count if you’ve only done it to one woman once?

Gove on R4 - SNP acting like 'parliamentary hooligans'. Unreal. They are democratically elected members representing their constituencies.

#isitok to say 'now is not the time' for a referendum one week, then to call a general election the following week?

#Milibacon

Sorry, I know people believe it is all for the good, but it does seem to have opened a Pandora's box of hideous possibilities

We're all hoping the tooth fairy comes!

For National Periodic Table Day, here’s a periodic table table…

#isitok that Livingston MP's 'choose brexit' speech is the most incredibly inspired topical political speech in decades?

It's made of warm #happycat

#TheLastLeg #redcars

Postman pat postman Pat postman Pat ran over his cat. Postman Pat is crying because his cat is dying. Pat will never drink and drive again

Boo!

American logic: ban refugees because 'safety', refuse to look at gun control..

The gender pay gap starts early in UK homes. Girls receive an average of £2.20 a week less pocket money than boys do.

Five 6s, one 9 and a happy meal (4) = 43 McNuggets @qikipedia or one 20, one 9, one 6 and two 4s

I actually joined twitter to tell @qikipedia they were wrong. Ok I'm a lot of a pedant!