Squirrel Patrol
@jbresl
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Following
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DFS Player, @RotoGrinders Contributor, 100x live final qualifier, I'm the guy you always see above you on @FanDuel and @DraftKings
Falls Church, VA
Joined May 2013
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What an unbelievable night! Had a great time chatting with all the finalists in the
@fanduel
#wfbbc
and all my
@RotoGrinders
peeps as well. Hey remember the multiple years people questioned how profitable I’d be at this contest?
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Sorry if I've been unresponsive to anyone lately - I had to say goodbye to the original Squirrel Patrol, and my best friend, a few days ago. Thanks for staying up for all those late-night sweats with me buddy, it won't be the same without you.
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My wife's bone scan and CT scan came back and she's still in remission, now 2+ years after diagnosis. 😀 We take nothing for granted because she's still at a high risk for recurrence someday. But not today.
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Just got the results of the bone scan and the CT scan, my wife's cancer is still in remission. Best thing to happen to me this month by a mile.
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A quick morning review of Twitter indicates that everyone is rich enough to spend $75k on NBA highlights and low-resolution gifs, but poor enough that they need stimulus checks and student debt relief.
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Celebrating my wife being cancer-free 5 years to the day since she was diagnosed with breast cancer! We got this bottle that year and for years I thought I would open it someday with my daughter, telling her stories about her Mom. My wife is here to make her own stories. Cheers!
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Nine months ago when my wife was just finished chemo, our friend
@DCtravelgirl
who worked for Destination Hotels took her out to Terranea Resort for a girls trip. Looks like my wife will be going back a year later, this time for a live final. Great location choice by
@FanDuel
!
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If you’re wondering how quarantine went today, our new dog had an accident while the Roomba was running, so the robot vacuum used advanced A.I. mapping technology to spread dogshit in every corner of the living room.
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@Rotogrinders
really loading me up with prime time slate content this season but it’s working out so far.
🏈
@headchopper
and
@jbresl
get you ready for Monday Night Football on the Pre-Lock Show, live Monday at 6:40pm ET.
The duo tackle single-game strategy, share their favorite bets and take your questions.
📺:
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I won both sites’ MMA GPPs, woo woo, more bankroll for NFL tomorrow, time to go to bed.
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The best breakfast is a free breakfast the night after winning $600k. Congrats to Hishboo on the first place win, apologies to the gracious and generous
@CoachS111
on the .05 differential, and I hope
@whistlesWooo
is still alive this morning.
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Hey does anyone on here have any thoughts on the COVID vaccines?
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Someday I hope to gracefully exit the DFS community due to standard insolvency rather than an inappropriate sex scandal.
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8pm: Follow
@KevinRothWx
8:30pm: Stay strong with Nats stack when he tweets game will play despite rain
1:30am: Take down first $100k GPP
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FanDuel's weekend consisted of a live final where you couldn't watch the game and check your standings at the same time, prematurely awarding 1st to the wrong person before the final stats, and refunding a million dollars in golf entries. Still a great time all along the way!
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My live final weekend - I finished 53rd and 90th with my 2 DK entries and won over the min cash. Finished 6th in the FD Fan Championship, 3rd in the DK $20 Milly Maker for an incredible sweat. Prepped long for the final, placed really well in unexpected contests, great weekend!
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Somehow it took me 4 years into parenting to figure out that every time my kid asks me to peel an orange, it's an excuse for a homemade old fashioned.
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"There's no edge left in playing DFS. Even if you could find an edge, the variance is too much for you to realize it."
A few years ago I started treating Single Entry GPP contests differently. I do a show each week with
@JMtoWin
on strategies for these contests. Give us a listen!
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Not a bad thing to wake up to. First thought this morning: "I should really send Dilson Herrera a fruit basket or something."
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11 years today with this wonderful woman as my wife. We've now been through cancer, the covid era, and that time a DeMarcus Cousins stat correction cost me $100k at 1:30am. Wishing perfect health and prosperity to her and each of the golfers in my 6/6 lineups this weekend.
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Winning before I go to bed makes it even sweeter. Four of my five tags for
@RotoGrinders
on the winning lineup.
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One of the best thungs I've seen at a live final, love the recognition by
@draftkings
for the history of our own little game.
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Congrats to everyone in the
@DraftKings
#fbwc
, was a tough sweat rooting for better but thrilled with another six-figure finish. Some guys once questioned my return in live finals. Lol no I'm serious, that's a true story, happened right on this website.
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Punched my ticket to Scottsdale next month as one of the 15 finalists for
@DraftKings
NFL King of the Desert. The final 15 is a murderers row with Chipotle having 2 entries, papagates having 2, and youdacao having 3 of the 15.
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We’re only a month away from NBA, a sport where nobody gets injured mid-game and every player performs as properly projected.
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Qualified for my first live final - it will be one year exactly since my wife's second round of chemo for breast cancer. It's been a long year and we can't control the future but we work each day to fill it with hope and not fear.
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Nailed the
@RotoGrinders
expert survey, took down my 100th live final seat, and the big $15
@draftkings
NBA contest too. Let's go Brandons!
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When everyone having five fouls means nobody can play defense. Just sweating out the stat corrections now. Westbrook and Gallinari not pictured. Full disclosure - had 12 entries (of 13 max) in the $2500 championship contest, so had a big investment in the contest.
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Top-10 finishes two years in a row in the
@draftkings
NBA final, great qualifying season and hope we can get together in person next year!
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Feels great to share! Shared my strategy for the slate with my
@RotoGrinders
followers in the afternoon, and then used that strategy to win some money for my
@StakeKings
packages at night. Looking forward to Hoboken!
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Just realized I had a real e-mail from DraftKings that I had earned a free $500 gift card from Amazon and it wasn't actually spam or a hoax but the redemption period expired over a week ago.
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Tried to sneak off to Key West with the family this morning and literally got caught by CBS National News.
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If I had switched my six entries in the $10 Double Up with my six entries in the DK millionaire, I’d be having a very different morning.
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Prop line on Unable to complete 10 Thunderdomes due to cocaine overdose,
@EmpireMaker2
-180,
@AwesemoDFS
+12500
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Had won fourteen live final seats over the past year, including one championship, but had never won a
@DraftKings
final seat until tonight. Wanted this one badly. Looking forward to San Francisco!
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The angel on my shoulder: NBA DFS starts in two weeks! 😇
The devil on my shoulder: NBA DFS starts tonight. 😈
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Playing DFS it's important to know the difference between skill and variance. Last night was skill, tonight was variance. Thank you to
@draftkings
for an amazing event and keeping us well bar-tabbed for the storm, thank you to
@RotoGrinders
and
@BetterCollectiv
for the support!
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Kudos to my wife for snagging reservations to this NYC hotspot at 6:30pm on 14-game slate.
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Entered two
@DraftKings
contests today, the Pitcher's Mound and my Championship series with
@JeffKCollins
. Happy to say I went up 2-1 in the Championship series!
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MrPanther did not in fact accept the initial apology, but instead had my tweet made into a hoodie for motivation for his remaining
@DraftKings
King of the Beach entry.
#kotb
Apologies to MrPanther, but it’s nice to have the 15-minute post-contest stat correction go my way for once. I might not be the guy you want sneaking in for the last seat in a live final.
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Last day at my "real" job - been a crazy ride, hope this fantasy sports thing works out!
Hey
@MatthewBerryTMR
, remember when you told
@jbresl
to quit his job at my firm and do fantasy sports full-time. Today is his going away lunch so thanks for that 😂😂
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I'm out at a restaurant. First time since March 11th. Went to the same place and ordered the same beer I was waiting on when Gobert got declared out. Just in case me not drinking that Brown Ale at William Jeffreys Tavern opened some wormhole, I'm closing the loop. You're welcome.
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Just realized that for the first time in 10 years, the 26th of the month came and went without me having to make a student loan payment. Great feeling!
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How smart does Adam Silver look today? Both for his decisive leadership back in March and for his planning and management since that point.
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You might see a bunch of screenshots tonight, but the dumbest will be me winning 765 core DK prize packs that can’t be sold until they’re opened and listed on the marketplace. At a conservative 5 minutes per listing should take me just under 64 hours of work.
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I accidentally stacked the first fight of the night in one lineup and carried it through to all contests. Have then hit every winner since in that lineup. It’s not a good idea, it’s not going to last, but I do appreciate how glorious it looks.
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DFS Sites when I say I'm bringing my daughter (5) to a live final:
FD: Great! Bet she's grown since we last saw her!
DK: Blzargh! While our legal team says we can't prohibit kids from the hotel, we will have snipers trained to shoot if they see a child at the welcome reception.
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Starting tonight every $50k or more
@DraftKings
win gets a DraftKings scotch in front of the DraftKings fire
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I told my daughter (7) that we might run into traffic because of a big football game in town, and she asked "as big as when you wanted those goats to beat the tigers?" and I realized she has an ingrained childhood memory of when I bet the Rams over the Bengals in the Super Bowl.
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Just dropped my wife and daughter off at the airport so I'm ready for an exciting bachelor weekend of staring at NFL and DFS data. I've done zero drafts so far and currently have no idea what team Mike Davis is on, but I'm going to exit this Labor Day weekend in playing shape.
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Hit the Scherzer - Judge - Massey
@RotoGrinders
Expert Survey bomb for another $100k on FD and another live final seat on DK. Got
@DFS_Almanac
's Christopher Morel call in there on the FD lineup and survived the GrindersLive Yankees mush too!
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It's a 3rd place finish, but I do a screenshot whenever I hit 5 figures in golf because I know nothing about it, it was a $20 entry, and I'm just hitting 3 of the 6
@RG_Notorious
conviction plays with Finau-Hideki-Hossler
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I don't think this is going to be reflected in DFS ownership.
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Wife and daughter are out of town for the long weekend so with no basketball and time on my hands I decided to surprise them by making the entire house smell like a pet store. Welcome to the Squirrel Patrol, little dude.
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TBT to a year ago today, where after playing DFS for four years and never winning a finals seat, I won baseball seats on consecutive nights. Went on to win the Fanduel baseball championship and pick up 18 total finals seats over the next 366 days, including one more tonight.
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I won two live final seats tonight while re-watching this
@rotogrinders
show, and realized how lucky I am to work with
@KevinRothWx
and
@DerekCarty
- two guys who use all scientific data to literally predict the future - while I nod in agreement. Follow them in all formats.
Come hang out with
@DFS_Almanac
and
@chiefjustice06
for GrindersLive at 5pm EST as they break down Thursday's MLB slate.
Then stay for a free Crunch Time show at 6:30pm EST.
Watch here FREE:
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Repping
@RotoGrinders
on vacation. Kicked off the Cayman Islands trip with my pre-departure lineups taking down my best second-place
@FanDuel
finish ever. Looking forward to getting back to the grind when I get back to the States!
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Apologies to MrPanther, but it’s nice to have the 15-minute post-contest stat correction go my way for once. I might not be the guy you want sneaking in for the last seat in a live final.
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I remember signing up for
@RotoGrinders
about seven years ago thinking "these guys really seem to know how to beat these games." I feel like that worked out pretty well.
🧀🐿️ Good Luck this weekend to
@davepotts2
&
@jbresl
at the DraftKings FBWC Live Final!
The two will be playing for a $1 million top prize.
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After writing for
@RotoGrinders
since 2016, I'll be making my first on-air appearance (technology permitting) with
@DFS_Almanac
and
@Pepsi7DFS
today at 5pm! Looking forward to mispronouncing some player names and making some inadvertent and awkward innuendos!
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If Amex codes 7-11 purchases as Groceries, and you get 6% cash back on Groceries on your Amex card, how many racks of gift cards can you fit in a Jeep Grand Cherokee?
In the spirit of the holiday season,
@DraftKings
&
@InCommPayments
have teamed up to launch the industry’s first retail gift card, available in convenience stores nationwide. Full release:
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I hate to get political, but... ...my daughter's preschool voted today whether to get a bunny or turtle as class pet and all the girls voted bunny and the boys voted turtle and this kind of predictable partisanship is what's wrong with this country.
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1st in the DK Knockout, 4th in the
@DraftKings
live final for $70k combined - big shouts out to
@RotoGrinders
,
@h3budda
and
@LiamPicksFights
for the fight analysis, and
@blenderhd
- always willing to give up his phone so the whole bar can watch the UFC event.
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Due to family obligations I will be conducting all DFS and sports betting activity today while literally dressed up like a donkey.
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The house that Mason Plumlee built. Do we paint the mantle white, stain it, or paint it blue to match the walls?
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I made this silly post 10 years ago today about going 12-0 in my Yahoo Pro season-long league championships, which at the time I thought was an absurd volume of fantasy football. The next year I took those winnings and deposited them onto DFS sites as an initial bankroll.
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The Padres and Rockies in Coors with an 11.5 run total means you gotta stack the Tigers for the double-qual takedown.
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Are NBA games going to start on time in Orlando or are we still waiting 15 minutes for the crowd to find their seats?
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Watched MLB GrindersLive at 11am and saw
@KevinRothWx
say the KC/CHW game would be safe, played the CHW pitcher, then did NBA CrunchTime with
@KevinRothWx
at 7pm, then won $50k from the still-playing MLB day slate 2 hrs later. The man literally works all day making people real $.
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you ever find yourself literally (or virtually) waiting in line to buy a speculative investment and large media outlets start writing about it, no, you’re not ahead of the curve on the market.
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Gonna take my wife out to the finest restaurant in town, tip the maitre’d a couple of squiggly brackets, and ask for the finest seat in the house. ({first})
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Keeping my daughter (4) home from school today voluntarily, Arlington schools are open even though DC and Fairfax are closed. As the seriousness of the situation sinks in, the reality of how many times I'm going to watch Frozen 2 over the next month is becoming apparent.
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This isn't a magic bullet, but I think it's useful to think about for DFS. Last week, it was an indication Cowboys-Chargers were over-owned relative to being the 4th- and 11th-most likely teams to be the highest scoring on the slate. Who is over-owned or under-owned this week?
I don't think this is going to be reflected in DFS ownership.
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Just looked at this NBA slate for a full hour thinking "thank goodness I don't have to write content for this one" before realizing I do in fact have to write content for this one
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Heading to the airport in a few minutes, looking to bring home a friend for this guy.
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