Italia Ricci
@italiaricci
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Today we welcome Robert Amell V into the world but also find out that being triple extra pregnant increases your odds of birthing Gollum.
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To whom it may concern,
Last night my husband complained about a foot cramp.
Please find his body under the shed.
Sincerely engorged,
Three days postpartum
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The hot salami and prosciutto panini I waited my entire pregnancy for didn’t survive long enough for a photo so here’s a pic of our little chunker instead. Charcuterie is back bitches.
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His swag will swaddle your wife while his hairline sells you an insurance policy and his hands knit you a sweater.
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How to bridesmaid at two decades pregnant. Part II: a wide berth.
@RobbieAmell
if you make a comment about how long it took us to get down the aisle I’ll throw you off this party bus.
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My husband just googled “can you put a baby in a golf cart?”.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know how to hide the body.
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There’s no one else I’d rather have giggled my way through marrying. Happy Anniversary Daddio. ♥️
Now please wake up and come change the explosion in your sons pants.
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Nominated myself for the ice bucket challenge to end cankles. Swollen fingers crossed.
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Don’t care how many abs you have nothing is hotter than this.
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Oh get over it he can’t read yet.
Kiddo if you’re reading this in the future they were a gift I swear.
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What I look like when my 10 month old is sleeping and my 32 year old is streaming.
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This little slice of heaven already feels like a pizza me olive him so much.
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If I have to tell you one more time not to wear your white socks outside I will post your golf simulator online for free and put my foot through your xbox.
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Your honor I’d like to submit to evidence in support of hormonal rage that prior to his demise my husband had the energy for the gym in the afternoon and
@xbox
at night.
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K but remember how the director told us to kiss and you had zero reaction because you were a professional and I was pissed off that you weren’t even a little bit excited ha look at you now sucker.
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One more post because as much as I threaten to bury him under the shed he is my favorite human on the planet.
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Me: I don’t want to raise a spoiled brat.
My Dad: I found a pirate ship toddler bed and installed a plexiglass floor for him to watch us swim underneath in the pool.
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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury in closing I’d like to add that my dear husband, may he rest in pieces, PLAYED IN A GOLF TOURNAMENT YESTERDAY.
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Stop it with this cute AF cheek hold I’m still mad at you for shitting on me three times today.
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I’m giving it my breast shot but this learning curve looks less like a curve and more like a crying mom with knives in her boobs and milk up her kid’s nose.
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If someone could let my legs and feet know that I’m not pregnant anymore that’d be swell.
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Kiddo - you’ll prob see these posts in 13 yrs or whenever you’re supposed to let your child get social so I want to be clear that despite everything I know how lucky I am. I cannot wait to meet you and I am so happy that you exist. Now go clean your room. Or ask your robot to. 💋
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Get you a man who can clean the floor while watching the kid.
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My husband ordered temporary tattoos for our son so fingers crossed my sardine oil arrives first.
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Recently I’ve found myself taking eight minutes to roll over trying to get comfortable and end up staring right at my husband’s beautiful face fast asleep all easy and peacefully until I want to punch it so badly I have to roll back over to cool off.
What’s your morning routine?
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Nope not in labor.
Yes I’m at the hospital.
Blood pressure is fine.
A haiku.
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if you drop your phone on the face I spent 95 months growing I swear to god...wait let me see that filter on him omg so cute.
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What a wild year. Happy birthday to my favorite kid that I’m not married to. And happy we-made-it-a-year-and-haven’t-murdered-eachother-even-though-it’s-been-close to my other favorite.
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Feel like I’ve been pregnant for 3 years. Again, yes there is only one in there and no I’m not due any day now. Making this a
#sharestrong
post bc the thought of meeting the critter makes all of this worth it. Until then
@robbieamell
grab some
@joespizzala
&
@saltandstraw
please.
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Woke up still pregnant.
I’d make a joke but I’m nervous about the delivery.
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Count your blessings not your carbs today.
For example I’m blessed that my husband is home hosting the perfect Thanksgiving for our friends and family so I’m trying not to think about the fact that I have to miss it and that there’s no way he is setting the table decor properly.
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I can’t feel my face when I’m (shooting outside in -10°C) with you.
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This is adorable but look at the bicep my son has ON HIS FOREARM I want to eat it. 🥐
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Hey remember when I went on about how I’ll keep my kid stimulated only with educational and developmental toys and activities and never just throw him in front of the TV? LOL what an idiot.
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What it looks like when only one parent drinks coffee and the other one legitimately sleeps like a fake model who is about to get grounded from video games if he doesn’t wake the hell up.
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Shame there’s no talent in my family.
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I will feed you, I will love you, I will bathe you, but if you touch my coffee I will fight you.
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Absofuckinglutely not what I meant when I said to watch him while I clean up.
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How do I make his laugh my text alert and is that too much.
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When we told the fam these scratch cards were the beginning of a murder mystery game night. Mom almost had a heart attack so it nearly was. Listen closely to hear Dad ask
@robbieamell
if it’s his while my brothers grill me about my glass of wine. I love this video so much.
#TBT
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It’s almost like I wasn’t cleaning crap out of a nutsack minutes before this. ♥️
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What happens when you follow mom into the nursery when kiddo wakes up every hour last night. Appreciate the company but we don’t both have to suffer. That’s what husbands are for.
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Happy 5 months kiddo! Bon voyage lamps bench and vase you’ve been good to me see you in a few years.
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That lock of hair he’s so tenderly caressing on my neck is no longer attached to my head.
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Maintaining eye contact during conversation while my son evacuates his bowels in my hand is my superpower.
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My husband is googling if temporary tattoos are safe for babies.
I’m googling where to bury bodies if you don’t have a shed.
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Fineee you can go back to LA for your fantasy football draft this weekend.
Kidding, I love you.
(you can still go)
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Looking homeless because mom wasn’t prepared for a growth spurt while stuck in a closed ski town at 7,600ft for two weeks.
Kiddo I owe you a no vegetables at dinner card in about 6 years but if you’re reading this you’re grounded get off social media and eat your vegetables.
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who is the man in this photo and does he own slippers I’m recently widowed
Actor
@RobbieAmell
is no stranger to comedy or sci-fi, which may explain why he feels so at home in the new comedy,
@UploadOnPrime
. He discusses his character, creating the show, and what it’s like collaborating with his comedy idols here:
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“You relax, I’ll get dishes.” translates to “I’m gonna stream all night after golfing all day, please don’t kill me.” in husbandese.
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Hey boys mama needs a job.
‘Code 8’ Spinoff Series Starring Robbie Amell & Stephen Amell Set At Quibi
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What I imagine he was doing in my stomach for 751 of the 982 months he was there.
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Apologies to everyone around me who can smell this delicious pad thai. Joey doesn’t share food.
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First lesson for my kid is that no one has your back. Can’t even trust family.
I’ll tell him about the time everyone at home let me watch Forrest Gump for the first time when I was 11 years pregnant with him and LEFT HALFWAY THROUGH for me to finish it alone.
I need a minute.
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Mr. Independent insists on helping with the groceries now. So we can only buy eggs during naps because it’s easier to make two trips to the supermarket than to negotiate with a terrorist.
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What a waste of Labor Day. Could’ve thrown a pun in there but I didn’t want to push it.
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Back when I thought once baby exited my person things would get easier.
LOL
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Men crush Monday. And by men I mean IV, V, and most definitely
@timhortons
. Speaking of crushing
@code8movie
is KILLING IT. If you haven’t seen it, it’s out on demand and in select theaters now. 😍
#MCM
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“We will NOT be those people with baby crap all over the living room.” she said only months ago with all of her pre-kiddo opinions. lol RIP you fool.
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I love you but get out. I can’t take the weight anymore.
Except hold tight until Sunday I’m a bridesmaid tomorrow so no can do.
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Caught the flu at 850 months pregnant and slept through
#nationaldogday
. Kidding, I don’t sleep anymore. Mostly just laid in bed sweating and groaning. Fur real, I couldn’t pawsibly feel more ruff. 🐾
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Husband took me on a surprise date and didn’t stop me from wearing bulky rain boots knowing we were going go-karting. I wiped the track with him anyway so here’s me gloating and him still being a nice guy bc one of us has to be a good person in this relationship and it ain’t me.
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Freshly dual citizens feeling good about finally being able to vote.
Quit looking so judgy kiddo you’ll be doing this in 18 years if you know what’s good for you.
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How to bridesmaid at two decades pregnant. Spanx be to God aisle say.
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Not to make this about me but man I married into some excellent genes.
@Code8
is awesome. And I’m not just saying that because I’m sleeping with the lead.
On demand tomorrow! 🙌🏻
TOMORROW, see Stephen Amell and Robbie Amell fight back.
#Code8Movie
is in theaters and on demand December 13. Preorder now:
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Happy I-now-weigh-more-than-my-husband Day to me. There better be cake. And pad thai.
Also big ups to
@MieleUSA
for a coffee machine with perfect grooves for iPhone self-timers. 👊🏻
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Tried to be a cute mom this morning with some mascara and a topknot. Lasted about four minutes before turning into raccoon eyes and a rats nest. Thanks
@trainingmate
. I need a coffee. Or twelve.
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Looking to get super stressed out? Try putting the kettle on then go to the bathroom and get stuck on a toilet seat that shifted and is threatening to snap while the whistle screams and screams from the kitchen
@RobbieAmell
come home help me please I’m too pregnant for this shit
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