coffee bae
@iamsashakae
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Following
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239,418
lawyer in training who can’t wait to get wrinkles
Chicago • LA
Joined April 2012
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diarrhea, vomiting, chills, night sweating, aching all over, headache, gum swelling/feeling like your teeth shifted, mood swings, cloudy thinking.. the list goes on. eve really fucked us up.
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step 1: be born into a multimillion dollar family.
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ok joe. the girls need:
- stimmies
- student debt cancelled
- shut the country down for like 2 weeks to slow covid
- mandate masks
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I know we are are rightfully hyped for beyonce but I’m here to say Seth rogen as pumbaa satisfies me differently
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I am not the friend who gets mad if you cancel our plans. baby it is more than okay. we are good. matter fact I used to pray for times like this, to rhyme like this.
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I will never forget when Miley got on stage talking about “free britney! I’m sorry but we got to free this bitch. it’s stressing me the fuck out” 😭😭😭
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am i famous? no. will i wear sunglasses & a hoodie to target @ 9 pm to avoid being recognized by locals? absofuckinglutely.
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this looks like something Zendaya would wear to a Tuesday brunch.
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this guy I’ve been dating for a short time booked me several massage sessions as a Christmas gift & when I get the confirmation I find that the spa is actually run by a doctor that specializes in the exact autoimmune disease I have… that type of consideration can’t be taught.
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the real challenge of adulthood is having to buy things that were magically just in your house growing up. like q-tips, windex, laundry detergent, salt .. like lmao oh I gotta purchase these shits?
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this nigga ask me what I want to eat I said chick fil a THEN I get in the shower, he called me like 3x I call back he say “you ain’t answer so I just got you everything on the menu I thought you’d like” he done bought 3 different meals with 3 different drinks 😂
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she is 60 looking 29.
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if you remove the condom without the knowledge AND consent of your partner and you continue to have intercourse you have indeed committed rape. removing the condom changes the context of the sex they consented to. they did not consent to raw sex. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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"damn ma why you looking so mean?"
first of all, I thought me looking unapproachable would keep me from being approached yet here you are.
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this bitch bad idc she invented frontals and that’s that on that.
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look how happy he looks. ugh I wanna hug him. quality content.
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if you struggle with mental health yet you still find a way to get shit done and you find enough strength to take care of even the smallest tasks like laundry or cooking yourself breakfast I just want you to know you are fucking killing it and I’m so proud of youuuu ♡
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anything you do drunk, you’ve wanted to do when you were sober. alcohol isn’t some magic potion that makes you do something you’d never do. it boosts your courage to do what you really want to do.
Unpopular opinion:..... ALCOHOLIC EDITION
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one thing about Ariana. she gon leave a ngga where he had her fucked up at and find a new one tomorrow 😭 I know thats right.
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look how Erica Mena man defend her. now that’s the energy I like.
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when a fire ass song isn’t on Apple Music or tidal and I have to use SoundCloud to listen to it
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on god bitch if I was this pretty you could not tell me shit
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that’s so raven was SUCH an amazing show because we don’t get blackness on television like that anymore. they had AAVE, a black family with a dark skin mom, traditional black mannerisms, like we do not get that anymore 😭
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people think i’m hilarious which is interesting because 96% of the time i am not joking
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I want Ryan destiny. I want Victoria Monét. I want tinashe. I want chloe and halle.
Gabrielle Union confirms ‘Bring It On’ sequel is “absolutely” happening. 🎬
Read:
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I shut down. I never speak about what’s bothering me. I never address it. I suffer in silence.
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g I don’t think y’all realize how cold that hook is. my baby is a 10, we dressing to the 9, he pick me up we 8 (ATE!!), make me feel so lucky 7, he kiss me in his 6 (BMW!!), we be making love in 5, still the one I do this 4 (for), I’m tryna make us 3, from that 2, he still the 1!
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I don’t think I was ever this fucking weird as a kid in middle school.
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exactly. don’t rely on me. that’s the point lmao
Putting your phone on dnd all the time shows you’re an unreliable person.
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I love the phrase “mind you” because watch how I piece this shit together for you darling just wait.
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y’all better make uzi feel loved and be nice to him or fucking else!
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this is why billionaires existing should bother you. people should not be able to buy private islands when some people can’t even afford shelter and food. I am right and this is not a place for critique or debate.
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I don’t think it’s natural for us to work so much. then we’re conditioned to feel guilty for resting. i should not have to perform labor for a majority of each day in order to feel good about myself...
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y’all eat honey buns?
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I’m bougie but bitch I’m not EVER too good for Olive Garden. you ever had they salad? bitch you better know
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no. I attract many types because I’m desirable. I experience what I allow. this narrative is not only lazy, but it’s inaccurate.
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y’all do everything but move on lol I ain’t never touching nobody else shit.
When he wanna pull-up on other hoes and you just fed tf up 🤷🏾♀️
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my child is respecting who respects them and if you give my child the wrong energy they will be reciprocating that energy in a diplomatic manner and then coming to me so I can handle your ass. this idea that children should just eat disrespect because they’re children is a dub.
My child gone respect EVERY adult that speak to them period
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I want us all to collectively say thank you to Issa Rae for being talented enough to create and partake in stories that don’t center around racial trauma.
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I’ve gotten a million of these and niggas still played with me
lol mbn , cause y'all niggas ain't brave enough to send this message .
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stop attaching “lol” to the end of your serious statements because you want to soften the blow. you said what you said. stand on it. who gon beat yo ass?
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hey maid, I see you got on your maid outfit like you always do...
How y’all got girlfriends but y’all room stay dirty? As a gf you should be cleaning up and taking care of that man. Y’all suck
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I was a terrorist as a child. one day my mom yelled at me and she has fried chicken to take to her sister’s graduation party so I meticulously ate the fried skin off every wing, put it back, and when she got to the function it was just skinless ass wings in front of everyone.
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the beard can take a nigga from a 5 to an 8. the hat can take a 5 to a 6. The white T and gold chain can take a 5 to 7.6 and money can take a nigga from a 5 to 9.97 he ain’t fine he just got all the right ingredients. math.
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I mean this is the kindest way…. was it not normal to know how to read before/during pre-school? was my mom just on it? was i just smart? like what do you mean its the teachers job to teach you to read???
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y’all expect me to do this life shit for another 4-6 decades?
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how he just get 27x finer?
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Beyoncé associating Blackness with wealth/regality is corrective promotion and y’all need to be happy about it. too often blackness is associated with struggle/poverty. and the messaging I get from her often is that wealth and regality lives inside us, it’s not always material.
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hood couples break up a solid 72 times. they'll be aight.
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it’s fucked up when your crush don’t watch your snap story on a day you fine as hell. like nigga keep up wyd
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I got one question. who on my timeline in college or got a degree? I’m tryna see something
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maybe if y'all stopped treating niggas like y'all boyfriends when they're not you bitches wouldn't be so heartbroken all the time but
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this article fails to mention that jhené found out her “boyfriend” was secretly married and they were separated, things just didn’t officially end. but this misogynistic world we live in will always paint the picture to make the woman look less appealing.
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he put you on now you put him on. Help him. Find out his passions. Invest in his business. ungrateful bitch.
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SLAY ME I LOVE YALL SO MUCH. Where y'all at? Y'all okay? Y'all eating well? We love unproblematic stars of our childhood
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MEN will never understand what it’s like to be a WOMAN in society. the same way a WHITE person will never understand what it’s like to be a BLACK person in society. so quite frankly I want you niggas to shut the fuck up about how you believe a woman should maneuver and why.
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6 inch heels.... she walked through the flood like nobody's business.. god damnnnn she's so overdressed and ain't helping no victims.
JUST IN: President Trump and first lady Melania Trump depart for Texas
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the average girl isn’t asking for 100k for her birthday, she asking for flowers and a thoughtful date but y’all get off on bashing women for retweets. i don’t get it lol
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not to smoke my own dick or anything but I feel like the combination of my personality, intelligence, AND aesthetic is lethal and rare and should be cherished.
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If you do everything for a nigga before he's actually yours what's gonna make him want to commit? he already living the life. Think bitch.
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Hold on bitch I ain't calmed down from bodak yellow yet. we not ready.
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Lindsay Lohan owning October 3rd and October 11th >
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I need to put this tea on my timeline for you bitches that claim I’m arrogant and stuck up.
Do I act like I’m better than you or do YOU think I’m better than you??
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grief muted the colors in my personality and totally altered the way i exist in the world. it robbed me of the ability to feel joy in moments that should have absolutely been magical. it taints my interactions and even my ability to complete simple tasks. it’s that devastating.
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idk who daughter needs to see this but here you bitches go.
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i need lindsay shaw to forget about Ned’s declassified for a second. step to the mic and tell us what was going on on that PRETTY LITTLE LIARS SET.
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them shits ridiculously nasty.
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her and her sister having a terrible nigga off or something? my goodness
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the craziest feeling is sitting in a moment and realizing “ooooooh that’s why that situation didn’t work out for me. if it did, i wouldn’t be here right now.” so humbling, so warm. a feeling embedded with so much gratitude.
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does anyone else have that friend that you’re certain is your soulmate but in a friend way?
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when Tom holland stand on his money he 6’6
if zendaya can date a short king there’s no reason you can’t. you’re telling me you think you’re better than zendaya?? ZENDAYA???
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losing a parent is not a joke which is why i tell people don’t speak on that struggle if you never experienced it. i’m so sorry he felt that type of pain.
Angus Cloud’s family releases statement on his passing to TMZ:
“Last week he buried his father and intensely struggled with this loss. The only comfort we have is knowing Angus is now reunited with his dad, who was his best friend. Angus was open about his battle with mental
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you guys don’t know how the law works and i want you to stop acting like you do
Oops ! Moniece Slaughter feels like legal actions should be taken against Megan Thee Stallion by Megan Kanka’s family for mentioning the “Megans Law” in her new single.
“If I were Megan Kansa's family
I would take every red cent from those single sales. I'd lawyer up and that
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girl I will call the next bitch myself.
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Ariana grande has a song on her album called “break up with your gf, i’m bored” and i think we all know who that’s about.
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y’all be getting sad over niggas that were not meant for you. God only brought them to you to show you what NOT to deal with. perk up and push through bitch.
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never seen that, never felt that, never experienced that emotion... only know, millions have it.
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i might get hate for this but I feel like Chris brown is very misunderstood and he has a lot of misplaced hurt and anger.
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i need you to answer that phone when i call you and i’m so serious
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try and beat your syllabus. what helped me achieve a 4.0 was that I worked ahead. If I had clear guidelines for an assignment, it was done a week in advance. also read your notes just because frequently. that way, when a test comes studying isn’t required.
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that coven tried to destroy her over a man that hated their sister and sexually harassed this young woman. and all she did was get richer and prettier. HA!
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