meredith graves
@gravesmeredith
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witch writer textile artist in bands. formerly @kickstarter @mtvnews writing many places
clown university
Joined September 2014
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if you think valentine's day is a conspiracy wherein capitalists manipulate peoples' emotions and sense of self-worth so they'll buy things they don't need, then i have something to tell you about literally everything else in the world
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famed childrens book illustrator and notorious eccentric tasha tudor on why being an artist is good: because you can get away with hella weird shit
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remember you don't necessarily have to be good at things to do them. our brains sometimes get that out of order: it's often repeatedly doing a thing that makes you good at it. 'being good' isn't a permission slip required to start.
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not only am i getting older i'm also getting more beautiful, and mean
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ryan adams didn't get away with this for so long because he made awe inspiring, impossible-to-criticize music. he got away with it because 95% of the music industry from DIY on up are completely mediocre pervert dudes just like him and they all want to keep it this way
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i often wonder what % of men are waking up every single day in the grip of abject terror, wondering if She Finally Tweeted Something About What I Did To Her (Or Them, If There Were Many) overnight.
good morning to all those men. hi. we see you. and your day is fucking coming.
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friday is traditionally pizza night in many places, because, friday is ruled by venus, and love is found in the pizza. thank you, i am a detective AND astrologer
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i hope the guy who names the weed strains is married to the lady who names the nail polishes
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thinking about people who 'don't believe in astrology' but willingly accept a savior first identified by three magi who determined the event and location of his birth by the position of a star
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when you are pissed off, wash the dishes. it’s hard to do dishes angrily, you’re kinda forced to calm down so as not to make a gigantic mess. plus then your sink is clean and you are not in jail for murder
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if quarantine has taught us anything it’s that all time measurement systems are fake as hell except your period and the moon
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i was just informed that my closest friend from college was brutally murdered last night by her boyfriend. i am reading the words 'isolated domestic incident' over and over knowing that there is no such thing
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oh my god i just brushed hands with an old man as we both reached for the door to the bank and he jumped back with a look of genuine shock like it burned him and crossed himself, then broke into a big grin and said ‘just kidding’
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RTJ2 came out while we were on a miserable tour in europe. its midnight, i hadn't slept in 30 hours, hotel canceled, driving some cobblestone back road in rural france the first time i hear YOU CAN ALL RUN NAKED BACKWARDS THROUGH A FIELD OF DICKS
unforgettable. hbd
@therealelp
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maybe today eat some greasy fries or something really good like cherry pie or something with lots of gravy and salt, then wash your hands well and text your friends and tell them you love them
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ladies, if he:
- likes to play the drums
- thinks he's getting good, but he can handle criticism
- will show you what he knows so you can tell him if you think he's getting better on the drums
then he's not a real doctor, but they call him dr. worm
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two years ago today i woke up and said hey i'm never drinking again, and then i did that! sobriety is awesome and terrifying and powerful and stressful and very very possible. sending love to everyone else walking this path, no matter where you are upon it <3
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tasha tudor attitude 2020 - infinity and formal inclusion into the canon of legendary virgos
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happy 4/4, the anniversary of my last-ever hangover and first morning of freedom. three years sober and very proud to be living proof that one can still get thrown out of a bar for myriad fascinating reasons, no booze required
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it takes exponentially more strength to forgive than to commit acts of violence.
@LILBTHEBASEDGOD
showing us how to defeat fear with love <3
Cry for me tonight out of love and joy! Cry becuase I have forgiven the 5-10 people who jumped me today, I will not retaliate - Lil B
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real talk: i've never encountered fans like
@FifthHarmony
's. kind, generous, supportive and aware -- just like the girls themselves. love <3
s/o to
@gravesmeredith
for being so nice & supportive of Fifth Harmony and for always providing us great interviews! 😘
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when people tell you to 'marry your best friend' they basically mean 'make sure you get along with your spouse' which, ok, but why don't more people just marry their actual best friend and use it as an excuse to live together and hang out and date whoever you want until you die
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i wish i had a mixtape to promote but i don't, so: black lives matter, defend DACA and protect immigrants and refugees, reform gun laws, abolish private prisons, stop trying to remake the Punisher, mike pence looks like a scrotum, slayer
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if you don't drink or go to bars anymore but miss fun activities like 'yelling not to eat things you find on the sidewalk' and 'being followed into the bathroom to hear some whiny nonsense' may i suggest getting a dog
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holy shit i just held the door open for a woman about my age who clucked her beefy tongue at me holding the pup and said “there’s a big sign that says NO DOGS”
and i just said “yo for real. the craziest thing is, he can’t fucking read” and stared until she walked out backwards
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do something cool every day and be happy and quiet about it
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the true meaning of christmas
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you can work out and meditate and declutter and sheet mask and bullet journal and practice mindfulness and detox and affirm and self-care and still come out a totally embarrassing piece of shit albeit with slightly smaller pores
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brainwashing a kid from birth to age 18 before shipping him off to be droned into pudding over a racist grudge is the latest-term abortion of all
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i could never promise anyone all of me because 10% will always be dedicated to keeping an eye out for ghosts
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ten years ago i could put 400 beers into my body and wake up rosy cheeked for an exam. now i'm thirty which means it takes one nyquil gel tab before i'll explain how the monster energy logo is evidence of the knights templar
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washed up bros turned brooklyn entitlement dads parking their strollers in the middle of the sidewalk to take phone photos of stencil tags they don’t realize are branded logos, leaving their infant larvae to scream as it broils in direct 90* sunlight, i love summer in the city
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why celebrate genocide yesterday or consumerism today when you could wrap it all up into one big 48-hour worship of the full moon in gemini. face your doppelganger in a dark church parking lot. destroy and consume him. leave no leftovers
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she wears short skirts
i wear t-shirts
she's cheer captain
and i keep a stillborn rabbit fetus in a jar on my desk
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self-care tip: struggling with insomnia? use those 'extra hours' on hobbies that improve your brain like learning new skills or solving difficult puzzles.
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@meakoopa
hold up i thought the angels were always depicted as male because when they show up in your house without warning it is fucking terrifying
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call me old-fashioned but i'm all for a traditional celebration of valentine's day: beheading priests who refuse to make sacrifices to the pagan gods
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young dude working at the drugstore who i see twice a week but who never speaks to me: okay i’ve wanted to ask you a question about your tattoo for a year now but i’ve been too scared
me: seriously?? what makes today different?
dude: today you are wearing pajamas
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in 2019 we're holding men accountable for the premature deaths of every perfect song written and thrown in the garbage by somebody who can't forget the last time they tried to play music with dudes they thought they could trust
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idk who else needs to hear this today but wherever you are on your journey, no matter how long or winding or perilous the road may feel right now, you can still leave it strewn with bones, snapped to splinters and suckled clean of the tendons that once held your enemies aloft
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🕊️ and that's on eight years 🕊️
today marks seven years of waking up in the morning feeling like absolute shit embarrassed to be alive and knowing I can proudly assert it's all natural 😎😎😎 sobriety rules baby
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proud of this celestial prophet for knowing when to pick his battles.
@LILBTHEBASEDGOD
my
#MCM
today and every day ❤
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my phone just corrected 'goddess worship' to 'goddess warship' and honestly yeah both
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bourdain's descriptions of the back of house at les halles got me to pick up my first cookbook at nineteen. rest in peace & power to the man who blew the doors off the kitchen and let the world in - food tastes different because of you.
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every child dreams of the day they can grow up and start a tweet with "some personal news..." !!!!!
@kickstarter
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i was very very close to my grandmother growing up, and now she shows up in my dreams a lot. i went to pull up some photos of her this morning and realized that, yeah, this is a fairly staunch comparison.
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@rachsyme
owning a modest collection of antique masonic & oddfellows robes that i wear around the house as dressing gowns b/w doing my makeup at a dressing table once owned by judy garland
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hey anyone who commutes or walks via franklin/kent between williamsburg and greenpoint: i’ve pulled down a half dozen VERY fresh handwritten white power stickers this morning, so i’m guessing someone’s out putting them up rn. keep your eyes peeled and punch some fuckin nazis
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i'm not saying i just spent a week with my family or anything but i WILL say that upon my return i decided to wallpaper my apartment with old paperback editions of dante's inferno
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i may act tough but inside i'm still a little girl waiting on prince charming to ride up bravely on his horse and take me back to his castle. he does not know i've booby-trapped the nearby woods. he and his horse are sliced to ribbons. i take his sword. "i'm the prince now," i wh
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out with 'body positivity,' in with 'anatomy positivity.' who cares if i'm ugly, i've got between 9 and 34 feet of small intestine and my skeleton has never left me
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cancer season kicking in the front door like:
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okay, i realize that buying a gently-used refurbished model voided my right to a warrantee but, can anyone advise me on what to do when my dog’s sound card fries? should i attempt a hard reset?
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next time you feel like a loser because you think your partner or crush is somehow better than you, remember relationships are mirrors, not portraits
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older couple in the airport: [staring]
me: [sitting here quietly answering emails]
me: ...
me: ...
me: ...
grandpa half of older couple: sooooo we've got a six year old granddaughter who will only answer if you call her 'helga, king of the witches'
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this 4/4 i have been sober for 5 years (talk about rising from the dead)! here's your annual reminder that it is possible, you can do it, and i love you 🖤🌻
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as soon as i write this script and also figure out how to apply for grant money and surmount my sensitivity to latex and eyelash glue and manufacture several olympic swimming pools worth of fake blood and find an executive producer and an entire sfx crew its over for you bitches
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@xymarla
the first employee i ran into at the Forbidden Planet issue 2 signing didn’t believe i was there to DO the signing and tried to show me the line 🙃🙃🙃
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today marks seven years of waking up in the morning feeling like absolute shit embarrassed to be alive and knowing I can proudly assert it's all natural 😎😎😎 sobriety rules baby
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happy mother's day to everyone whose life has been affected by miscarriage or infertility or loss or simply timing, who mother movements and communities and generations and ideas instead of biological children. today might be hard, but your worth and power are unquestionable ♥
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the most bisexual thing i've done so far this pride month is take both nyquil AND dayquil
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PSA if i ever die or commit a large and cool crime, use these photos
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hold on, let me slip into something more comfortable. my own grave, for instance
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jimmy eat world rules and “bleed american” is the hill i will die on
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i now own a table that belonged to judy garland AMA
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skincare and beauty companies spend tons of money on advertising designed to make us insecure about deep lines, aging and surface marks meanwhile the moon has all those things, is old as fuck and beautiful???
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naming and shaming men in music for being untrustworthy, violent, abusive or all of the above is ACTUAL news. every single mainstream 'music journalism' website needs to run stories like this one, frequently and loudly-- especially those run by men, which is mostly all of them.
Foxygen’s Sam France and his ex-girlfriend and former touring bandmate Elizabeth le Fey have been embroiled in a years-long legal battle. Here are the competing allegations:
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it is the first day of spring. robins chirping in their nests. a bumblebee alights upon a crocus. persephone returns from the underworld, kicking a huge fucking hole in the wall like the kool-aid man
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remember, NO opportunity is so incredible that it should be taken at the expense of your personal boundaries. if your gut says hell no to doing something, no matter what's been promised to you at the end, follow your intuition out the door and don't look back.
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one time i saw two rats doing it on the tracks get run over by the F train
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Fall Out the Boy
Vampire Weekend say their new album has the initials “FOTB.” Any guesses for what you think it stands for?
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i've decided i'd like to become more hot and popular but don't know which would be faster, writing a slutty but otherwise extremely conventional memoir or starting a podcast about socialism
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solidarity with everyone waking up more tired than we were the night before
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the saddest feeling is the transition from “i can’t believe how this person treats me” to “oh my god, this person acts that way because they’ve assessed it and believe this is what i deserve”
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dudes will demand free emotional labor, your credit card number ssn and netflix login and then call you a bitch before you can respond, meanwhile i'm still saying sorry to the couch when i sit down
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mark kozelek of sun kil moon accused of sexual misconduct by literally everybody including, proudly, himself, for years and nobody has been listening
when people tell you who they are, believe them. I'm so angry but so grateful for women who continue to speak up against abuses of power.
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if i EVER find the person or people responsible for putting the “its okay to be white” stickers up all over greenpoint i’m going to break their goddamn arms
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my dog sneezed while wearing a party hat and it got stuck on his face. here's a GIF, happy friday
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black metal twitter what band is this, asking for my dog
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got in a car wearing a black cape dress and demonia goth boots and the driver switched the music to lorde, feeling both seen and trolled
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my heart breaks a tiny bit every day i’m not in iceland. they’ve really got the holiday folklore nailed— like gryla, the baby-eating christmas witch
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eyes out for the changing signs
NYC friends, I noticed all the undercover cops are wearing white arm bands, probably to recognize each other. Be careful.
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used to laugh at people who said dogs and their owners start to look alike after a while 🧛🏻♀️🐶
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please... god... send me a gucci head for... my son... who is very sick
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oh and HEY EVERYBODY: if someone turns down alcohol (or anything else!!) do not guilt, pressure or shame them. don't ask if they're on a diet or allege they're not participating in tradition. no means no!
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is there a word (more nuanced than choice paralysis) for when you've got so many different hobbies/things you want to learn/materials to work in/possible activities or projects/etc that you end up doing nothing more than endlessly pondering the question of what to do
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five years ago today 😭 🖤
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people will really watch you studying anthropology, astronomy, sociology, psychiatry, geometry and ancient languages in an attempt to unpack an admittedly mysterious aspect of human history and STILL decide it's imaginary because linda at work said so
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when bae is tall, mysterious, and channeled the entire enochian language
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things i've cried over in the last 48 hours thanks to cold medicine:
1. a dream about a tv show i liked (that doesn't exist) getting cancelled
2. bjork exists
3. the fact that i don't own a harp
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you guys know i don't like to air my personal drama on twitter but this time it's gone too far: the squirrel who trashes my fire escape and digs up my plants got mad that i made a noise at him this morning, so he came back and shit on my windowsill
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