Not my circus but the monkey looks familiar.

I've heard I have a way with worse

I adore the ones that make me laugh with their weird twisted humour.

He’s a 10, but he ripped the fabric of the space-time continuum.

Missing the long-lost digital love of my AIM life.

Obsession, confession, and November redemption.

Bacardi, no sugar - is how I take my coffee.

People who freak out about aging just don’t know how to ponder shit. You can’t tap a maple for syrup till it’s AT LEAST 30-40 years old. Like relax. You’re getting sweeter on the inside bro

When a kid asks you why bad things happen to good ppl you gotta tell em that’s how superheroes are made

I capitalize The World, The Seasons, The Moon, The Sun, The Sea… cause to me they’re all people.

I park furthest away from entrances. It’s more of a walk, but I’m always outta there first.

I’ll listen to a song 8,888 times straight cause I gotta make sure my air instruments are fuckin tight. I’m not tryna look embarrassing……..

He faked his death and lived happily ever after.

So in conclusion, the zoo would not adopt my children.

Google's....How to avoid all human interaction?

"Well, I guess I could be wrong." -said no woman ever

Have you tried the lamb dumplings about it?

Hope you know that anyone would be lucky to know you.

Your therapist seems to have a bright future.

Too old to read between the lines, too drunk to read the lines.

90s kids didn’t go to therapy. We just yelled “INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE” and kept it moving.