Garrett Morrison
@garrett_TFE
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golf @fried_egg_golf
Portland, OR
Joined November 2016
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Tiger must have smiled nostalgically when he saw Jason Day's pants today
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Of all the incomprehensible things Tiger has done, this might be the most incomprehensible
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Matt Fitzpatrick, 29 years old, zero kids, not interested in fighting
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Boy, there sure are a lot of Twitter accounts created in June 2022 that love LIV Golf!
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I don't know exactly what Patrick Cantlay is talking about at the beginning, but I love all of it
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This is why you take care of your hair. For this kind of moment.
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The "par 67" comment might follow Bryson for longer than "Brooksie"
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Bryson is such a wack job. It's great.
(This is him encouraging the group ahead to make their way out of his background.)
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Reminder of Mike Tirico's history with the President
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Kisner says a LOT about today's PGA Tour in 12 seconds here
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A good example of why I wouldn't advise watching PGA Tour golf with the sound on
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To put this in "ball golf" terms: this dude dunked a 7-iron on the 72nd hole of the Masters to force a playoff with Tiger Woods, then won the playoff.
Just plain crazy. James Conrad throws it in from 247ft for birdie to push the
@PDGA
Disc Golf World Championship into a Playoff.
#PDGAWorlds
#SCTop10
@SportsCenter
@espn
@ESPNAssignDesk
McBeth and Conrad are playing off right now. Watch live here:
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Eric Cole represents exactly the type of against-all-odds story I love to see in non-designated events: a player trying to win on the PGA Tour with a PXG driver
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There's stupid, and then there's "chant U-S-A during a Spieth-Fitzpatrick playoff at Harbour Town" stupid
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If there's anyone with the temper to deal with Tiger's galleries, it's Tyrrell Hatton
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On Masters telecasts in the late 60s, CBS used scale models of Augusta's closing holes. Gotta bring these back!
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I'm appalled that none of you notified me directly that Ian Poulter posted the funniest reply in golf history five hours ago
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Jay is saying on CNBC right now that the players will be happy that the "tension" is ending.
Gonna go out on a limb and say that the tension between guys who took the money and guys who thought they were taking a principled stand isn't going anywhere.
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Outraged that we may soon be deprived of the opportunity to root for Kevin Na, Jason Kokrak, and Ian Poulter
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There is no one in the wide world of sports harder to root for than Patrick Cantlay.
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One of the strangest things about the PGA Tour is how only non-famous players use drugs.
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Not to be hyperbolic, but the only thing that can vanquish LIV is a Golf Channel show featuring Tiger walking up and down the range at various men's and women's tour events and casually peppering players with questions about highly specific elements of the craft
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I think I'd just rather not have a chance to shoot 59 than face this putt for a 59.
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Brands: if you were to sponsor a commercial-free first two hours of the Ryder Cup, we'd love you forever and buy all your things
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Jordan Spieth's purpose in life is to cause us as much anxiety as possible
"This is downright terrifying right now."
This shot from Jordan Spieth was quite the situation. 😬
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Or has Adam Scott taken control of it
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The only Tortured Poet I'm interested in is Jordan Spieth
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If you stopped loving Brooks after he ran his mouth and shot 74 in the final round of a major, you never loved Brooks
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Phil appears to have been scared by the motherfuckers
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The Open is coffee golf. The Hawaii and West Coast swings are cocktail golf. Rory Sabbatini earning an Olympic medal for Slovakia in the middle of the night is shroom golf.
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Excuse me, but if my duck hooks off the first tee travel 154 yards instead of 161, I'll quit golf
Sources: USGA, R&A to announce universal golf ball rollback next week.
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"I haven't played a Ryder Cup or a Presidents Cup, but can't imagine there's a whole hell of a lot of a difference." -Talor Gooch
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Brandel comparing 2-3 minutes of ad reads on a 1.5-hour podcast to the mind-numbing torrent of commercials on the average PGA Tour telecast is the perfect example of his general brand of argumentation.
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I'm a big fan of the fact that Louis Oosthuizen has an Open at St Andrews, zero regular PGA Tour wins, and six top 10s in majors, four of which are seconds. He's like the golf gods' first attempt at Brooks Koepka.
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To put this in terms that golf fans will understand, it's like the Iron Heads just beat the 4 Aces
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Just asked my wife, who has no interest in golf, to name as many professional golfers as she could.
- "Tiger Woods" (immediate)
- "Phil... Nicholson?"
- "The one with the funny name—Koochie?" (Matt Kuchar)
- "The one with the nice hair who's from Ireland" (Rory McIlroy)
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CBS's mute-button operator when Jon Rahm has a 10-foot putt
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Cameron Smith is playing the golf we wish Jordan Spieth were playing
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Patrick Reed mimes his own cheating at the Presidents Cup: “We must retweet this hilarious content.”
Patrick Cantlay is actually funny for a few seconds at Kapalua: “We must pretend this never happened.”
This will shock you, but this morning’s 2nd round replay did not show Cantlay play the 17th hole.
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Omg look at this Twitter fight between Brandel Chamblee and Patrick Reed
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Adam Scott is dressed, appropriately, as a rain cloud
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Hoo boy
I spent a few days at LIV’s Portland event. Here’s what I found:
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60-year-old Juli Inkster teeing off on the 18th hole in the U.S. Women's Open qualifier at Half Moon Bay while her 15-year-old playing partner looks on. Golf!
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Francesco Molinari did not play in the 2016 Ryder Cup. He was No. 37 in the world and not on anyone's radar as a potentially dominant member of Team Europe. In 2018, he went 5-0-0 at Le Golf National.
No one knows what's going to happen in 2023.
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If Koepka and Day get paired together, they should just have a couple of EMTs follow them around with a stretcher.
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Is it a good sign if everyone starts celebrating when you accidentally air an announcer-free telecast?
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"Who's been working harder in the last 20 minutes than Jordan Spieth?"
"Michael Greller."
Okay, NBC, that was funny.
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Underrated funny moment from today: Rory hitting it into the crosswalk on 8, and the volunteer throwing up his hands as if to say, "Well shit, we're gonna have to move this thing back again."
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The gift bag better have $99,000 in it
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"Having two different types of golf ball would be too complicated."
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I would like to officially declare my support for neither of these people
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Hi, I'm Garrett Morrison, formerly Garrett Ford on here. (Ford is my middle name.) In a couple of months, I will no longer be a teacher. Instead, I will be a full-time writer and editor
@the_fried_egg
. We have some exciting plans, and I can't wait to get started.
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Matthew Wolff is enthusiastic about the possibility of shooting 75 and still feeling good about it because maybe his teammates will play worse.
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Saudi official: $50 million
Brooks: Meh
Saudi official: We can guarantee Bryson won't be there
Brooks: Where do I fucking sign
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The only Spotify Wrapped I wanna see is Viktor Hovland's
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Nick Faldo won the Masters three times. How does he sound this lost?
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"Chickenshit" is the only word that properly describes how Jay Monahan has navigated this situation from the beginning
The Canadian Open is this week. Here is what PGA Tour Commissioner Jay Monahan said at that event one year ago.
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At the beginning of this summer, I took my lob wedge out of my bag. My highest lofted club is a 56. I've played about a dozen rounds, and I've been in one, maybe two situations where I wished I had a 60.
Did the lob-wedge lobby fool us all into buying an extra club?
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Kapalua to Sawgrass is the real PGA Tour season. I genuinely enjoy it as a full stretch of tournaments. Everything else on the non-major schedule, up to and including the FedEx Cup Playoffs, is fluff.
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You need to watch the actual golf shots, not just look at the numbers on the leaderboard. If you didn't think the golf shots were interesting today at LACC, you and I must see things differently.
That said, I think everyone's hoping for the greens to firm up.
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A few months ago my neighbor and I backed into each other while backing out of our driveways. Got a pretty big dent in my rear quarter panel. I've never been in an F1 accident, but can't imagine there's a whole hell of a lot of difference.
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Build a golf course in the land around this Dutch F1 track immediately
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Sandy Lyle went for the green on 13 with a fairway wood from 242. This ends the debate over the lengthening of the hole, right?
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Eloquence from Rory:
"I believe in the game of golf. I believe in this tour in particular. I believe in the players on this tour. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I beli
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When Spieth is in full "can't make a par, par is lava" mode, it's one of the two or three best shows in golf
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When the second gummy hits
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NOPE NOT INTERESTED IN SEEING LIVE TV COVERAGE OF THIS AT ALL. NOT AT ALL.
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The truly depraved among us are chasing the Masters with the Western Intercollegiate at Pasatiempo rn
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Absolutely loving that this was Pat McAfee's "return to sanity" episode
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Nothing says "I'm happy with the decisions I've made" like the ceaseless bitching and moaning these two have engaged in over the past nine months
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I like 6 at Pebble as it is, but how unbelievably badass would a par 5 from today's fifth tee to the sixth green be?
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Okay, Jordan, normally it's fun to see you randomly start playing like an 11 handicap, but this is serious
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I agree with James Hahn. There should be fewer PGA Tour events and therefore fewer playing opportunities for James Hahn.
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