Leaving this as my pinned post, given how depressingly often it’s relevant.

Had a startling Rod Serling-esque vision of the future (Dreamt that I fell asleep in a Waymo on my way to a work meeting and woke up in LA).

I have offered $5 to acquire Chrome from Google. This is what's known in financial lingo as a "stalking horse bid.".

Yeah I’ve got GPT-5! Gettin’ Pretty Tired at 5pm!!!.

I was on Cash Cab once.

I saw Superman! It’s basically scientifically designed to get a certain kind of person to mark out, and I completely marked out.

I just heard from Zuck, he offered me one of those $100 million sign-on bonuses. But to get the cash, he says, I have to sign on anywhere but Meta! No respect, I tells ya.

Hey, first of all, great quarter, everybody.

There should be a brand of evil kitchenware called XOX Bad Grips. I am aware this is my first tweet in a long time.

Everyone is commenting on how muted the Switch 2 launch has been, but it’s because nobody knows how to react to a non-insane Nintendo console. The Nintendo of 2012 would have been like, “the Switch is a huge hit, let’s follow it up with a VR headset you have to crank by hand.”.

This is a nightmare. Thinking of all my former colleagues. I’m always available if anybody affected wants to talk about life after journalism (or to just vent with somebody who’s been there).

Finally, somebody is saying it.

I should probably log off.

Looks like somebody brought Sympathy to a Fame fight.

Wow! Is it, is it uh, are they paying over time with Klarna? I, uh, hear that’s the way you pay for things these days.

I feel like it’s been a while since anybody heard something so funny, they forgot to laugh.

RT @franzsherbert: Me to my AI-enabled smart fridge in 2038: Do we have any milk left. My fridge: Wow. Now that's a question worth explorin….

RT @equine__dentist: i sure do

RT @PaulTassi: I am genuinely worried about these guys.

The last verse of Come Sail Away cracks me up every time. THEY’RE ALIENS. THE SHIP IS A SPACESHIP. BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT PLOT TWIST COMING DID YOU?!?!?!?!.

This doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about potatoes to argue.