Flic Everett
@fliceverett
Followers
13K
Following
201K
Media
11K
Statuses
138K
I'm on blue sky. DREAMS OF THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS is out now! https://t.co/b3Eh2uCcJX
Joined October 2010
Briefly returning to say, my new romance novel is out now, just in time for #ValentinesDay! Dreams of the Scottish Highlands has excellent 5* reviews, it's funny and romantic, it features a castle and several eccentrics, and I think (hope) you'll like it.
3
1
10
Stop saying “furlough” as if you knew what it meant three days ago.
790
2K
29K
Allison Pearson, astonished to find that black people are fully human beings.
583
4K
21K
What’s the most overrated food? I’ll start, cous cous.
10K
883
16K
The most successful people I’ve met .1. Have wall signs reading ‘live, laugh, love!’.2. Say ‘gin o’clock!’.3. Post holiday pictures captioned ‘not a bad view from the office!’.4. Call their husband ‘hubby’.5. Oh no wait .6. Most annoying.7. The most annoying people I’ve met.
317
3K
16K
I hope @carolecadwalla is getting some small satisfaction from being proved right about absolutely everything.
80
1K
9K
Middle class Lockdown Bingo: play here!. Banana bread .Growing tomatoes.Sourdough starter.Drinks on zoom .The Mirror & the Light.5pm gin.Videoing your street clapping.Doing Joe Wicks PE.Fancying Rishi Sunak .Ordering from independent shops.Crafts.Educational walks.Meditation.Tea.
649
2K
10K
The absolute decadence of the local charity shop window.
194
415
9K
Dear fashion retailers: midlife women want to look nice, the same as younger women, so sell us the same dresses but: .Add sleeves.Sew up the thigh split.Add two feet of skirt length .Raise neckline by six inches.No need for a belt .Make it wearable with flat ankle boots.Thanks.
529
350
8K
"Cher Jean Claude, Je m'appelle Theresa. J'habite à Londres. J'aime Duran Duran et le ping-pong. Avez-vous un Plan de Brexit? Je n'ai pas."
97
4K
7K
Am I the only mug still sticking rigidly to lockdown rules and not seeing my family?.
2K
277
7K
This is the most incredible abandoned mansion near where I live. Trees grow in all the rooms.
133
319
6K
It's never women running amok stabbing people, is it?.
63
577
7K
Two down-on-their-luck old friends use their redundancy money to move to Blackpool and set up a drag bar. 'That is a Disgrace' coming to ITV X this Autumn.
78
454
6K
I think @jk_rowling is incredibly brave. She didn’t need to enter the toxic debate, but she did and she stands up for women’s rights. Yes, all women. She is not anti-trans, she is pro-women.
78
277
4K
They told him he had to find his way out of the maze. He’s been in there since Tuesday.
66
529
3K
Hands up if you're a grown woman and your life is ruled by a stupid rhyme about magpies. 🙋♀️.
222
96
3K
Tell me your pet's actual name vs what you call it. Kit Marlowe > Mrs Chicken.
1K
139
3K
I am constantly seeing people tweeting about what a devastating cesspit their Twitter is. Mine isn’t, so here’s my advice: .Block or mute everyone offensive. Don’t follow wankers. Don’t engage in debate with morons. Tweet about books and dogs. All solved.
77
258
2K
Self employed people are a Tory dream. We have no sick pay, no holiday entitlement, no job security, no pension and no perks. But we pay tax at the same level as everyone else. In 2018 we contributed over £275 billion to the UK economy. Do not abandon us, @RishiSunak, please.
41
691
2K
Are there any women who would have got into this submarine? Anyone?.
536
109
2K
Delighted by this purchase. Tell me your dog's breed and I'll show you what it says.
803
110
2K
Just had to beg my mum to stop talking about people's families that I've never heard of.
113
36
2K
I wish plumbers were as fascinated by themselves as some writers are. They could post little 'plumbing is so tough, need coffee!!' memes and be all humble about their plumbing awards and recognise each other on Twitter via the hashtag Iamplumbing.
64
337
2K
I am baking an important birthday cake for a friend. I turned my back for one minute to answer the phone. Ffs.
94
40
2K
'I actually literally dumped him first and I never even fancied him anyway.'
14
122
2K
Oh god it’s been so pleasant without them all.
Theresa May will return from the Easter break looking to breathe fresh life into Brexit talks with Labour on Tuesday
40
168
1K
It is possible to be completely against racism and also think Meghan and Harry are awful.
128
69
2K
There's a bunch of loud middle aged men on my train who are using 'fucking' as punctuation. There are also kids on the train. Is it reasonable to think they're appalling?.
152
48
1K
My theory is that dogs are toddlers and cats are teenagers. Returned lost dog: ‘cuddle me mummy, I was scared and I love you!’ Lost cat returned: ‘for gods sake, I’m fine, is there any food?’.
12
182
1K
I don’t want taxes lowered, I want a properly funded NHS and people able to live without using food banks.
25
137
1K
What if -hear me out- what if it's ok to have clutter? What if you're someone who doesn't respond to bland minimalism? Perhaps you like the things in your house. I say keep them all.
91
56
1K
They really need to stop saying "the elderly", because NONE of the over 70s I know identifies as elderly. "Oh yes, but that's advice for old people," they'll say on their way to the shops/gym/restaurant.
79
156
1K
Someone made the very good point that there are no longer public information films about the dangers of ice, etc. this seems a huge oversight- my generation still remembers every one. Pylons, spirit of dark water, broken ice… this stuff sticks.
112
93
1K
If you could commission one author, living or dead, to novelise the past 4 months, who would you pick?.
3K
206
1K
I really can’t hear ‘two households’ without mentally adding ‘both alike in dignity’ and it’s very annoying.
33
161
1K
A v good response on The Times today. I wish columnists would remember that not everyone is devastated because no Tuscany this year.
24
321
1K
Top tip: if you're ever near Euston and need the loo, the Friends Meeting House opposite the station has some of the cleanest loos in London, plus a lovely café and outside garden seating. Don't cram into Pret, go there.
58
127
1K
Thinking of Kate Garraway. She could not have tried harder or done more - I admire her so much. I hope she can grieve properly for the last few years now.
17
38
1K
‘We can’t stop small boats and people trafficking, so we’re coming for phd students’ may not be the vote winner they think it is.
13
172
1K
IRA? ‘Great!’ Hamas? ‘Bring ‘em in!’ Isis? ‘Important to chat.’ Chuka Umunna? ‘Fuck off.’.
30
234
1K
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s ‘could have’. It’s not and never will be ‘could of’. Thank you.
69
108
1K
I always try not to ram my animal rights stuff down people's throats, I understand not everyone feels like me about it, but I will just say, I fucking hate the Grand National, and you will not rationalise me out of this with 'the horses enjoy it.'.
48
62
1K
They say ‘never reply to the comments’. But I did. Why should we accept sanctioned bullying?
74
22
987
U r with the Engels now.
Karl Marx died on this day in 1883. His work helps us not only understand capitalism, but fight for a world free of exploitation and domination.🧵
19
127
922
Dear producers, researchers, journalists, editors. whenever you're giving a Reform MP a platform, please remind yourselves that Green MPs have an equal right to that space.
8
188
905
Do you know what I’d like? A nationwide chain of hair salons for menopausal women who don’t want to look like bouffed 80s newsreaders, staffed by kind, older female stylists, not tight-bottomed 17 year olds with pink ringlets who think we’re tragic biddies.
88
30
961
Dear lonely women with substantial savings: He is not a military doctor. His wife did not die tragically. He is not in love with you and planning a future. He has not run into temporary difficulties as he strives to be with you. Do not send him money. For goodness sake, please RT.
36
312
848
I have not been feeling 'shaken, troubled and let down' by a daytime presenter's affair, no.
48
33
826
Sorry to be soppy about my parents, but they met in Didsbury library, and my mum always takes a cake in for the staff on their wedding anniversary. ❤️.
54
29
840
There’s a woman opposite me on the train, with two chihuahuas wearing diamanté collars and she’s drinking red wine at *checks watch* 10.30am. I don’t know whether to admire her or report her.
102
17
820
Our beloved cat Cow died this morning, aged 20. My partner said ‘I don’t think you were this upset when his sister died.’ I said, ‘I loved her but she was a cat. Cow was a person.’ RIP dearest animal. Here he is with his best friend last year. ❤️
109
4
782
*Me at Miss World contest*.Compere: ‘and what is your greatest wish for the future?’.Me: ‘that people will stop saying “excited for” and go back to saying “excited about”. *crowd roars approval*.
42
61
766
I am raising awareness of passive aggression, so please paste this as your status. I know most of you won’t but I will note the ones that do, as they will be the people who care the most, who actually pay attention, and bother to read what I post, unlike most of you.
17
108
720
My parents met in Didsbury Library and celebrate their Golden wedding next month. They took the librarians a cake to celebrate yesterday and they’re going to be in the library newsletter. How nice is that?.
22
41
713
If you won’t get vaccinated because you ‘don’t trust it’, ask yourself, have you ever taken an aspirin, a lemsip, had the MMR jab, had a hay fever pill, taken antibiotics, had surgery, even had an e or a line or coke…if so, get over yourself and stop putting others in danger.
29
100
638
Just in a cafe. Overheard a woman say to the waitress in an outraged tone, 'I'm not VEGAN, I just don't get on with coleslaw!' Where is Victoria Wood?.
16
42
655
I swear to god, the earth will wither and blacken and humanity will die, and the last person on earth will reach from their crumbling bunker to an eviscerated keyboard and peck out, with a rotting finger: “I’ve been nominated to post my ten favourite albums, with no explanation.”.
17
101
604
I’ve just cleaned out the fridge, and it’s almost as if nobody has ever checked the tomato purée situation.
48
9
622
Honestly I don’t want to hear anything about how women can ‘stay safe’ I’d like to hear men being urged to challenge predatory men, and predatory men being warned that it won’t be tolerated on any level.
4
97
610
Omg stop saying 'sadly passed away', news outlets. It's not your job to tell us to be sad, and the word you're looking for is 'died'.
66
32
622
Emma Watson. Maybe she should have a chat with the woman who gave her a lucrative career, rather than publicly making snide remarks for likes. She might find the world’s best-selling author has some wisdom to impart.
10
34
630
Nobody can spell, nobody understands grammar, nobody cares about punctuation and the worst thing is, nobody cares. And I'm not going to add the humorous little 'yes, I am a hundred years old' coda, because it still matters, and it pisses me off.
79
28
633
Genuinely 85% of weekends as an adult are home maintenance and restocking. It’s like being an ant, forever.
9
54
588
Just to say, if you are struggling to afford things this Christmas, ignore the media and all the ‘gift guides’ and ‘Christmas countdowns.’ It’s all just to fill space and sell ads (and I say this as an ex editor of glossy magazines.) it’s not real.
22
137
603
On the motorway and you never see Norbert Dentressangle post Brexit. I miss him.
89
18
573
To the lad in the Primark café who wouldn’t let me nip to the loo for a wee because ‘we’re closing’ I hope you wake up tomorrow with the bladder of a menopausal woman, and I hope all your cafés are closing as you approach.
19
17
570
Please take your stupid Nicola Bulley discourse and shove it. You didn't know her. Some people did and they loved her. She fell in the river and drowned. It's very sad. Focus on your own life, you conspiracist ghouls.
24
18
552
Shall we just cancel grammar? Might be most easiest for everyone.
39
44
562
Absolutely none of this resonates. I’m baffled as to why she thinks her own experiences are universal. The three phases teenage girls go through: first up, lying.
125
35
555
I need to share this. I have dropped ALL my charity shop clothes at the charity shop after literally YEARS of them filtering back into my house from the car boot. I am so, so, free.
21
4
514
Just heard my husband desperately shouting ‘I haven’t got any chicken!’ at the angry, screaming kitten, so I think it’s pretty clear who’s in charge now.
22
29
500
Please. Nobody cares how many books you've read. Reading is not 'a challenge'. It's supposed to be fun.
17
11
500
Just been to my lovely stepmum in law's funeral. Dad in law was wearing a very beautifully cut suit. 'Christian Dior. Bought it when I was 18.' .Now that's looking after things- he's 84.
21
6
524
A word for next year, parents. You don't have to do Elf on the Shelf, it didn't start till 2005, it's not a tradition, some American woman made it up. Say no.
33
37
488
Does anyone but me remember that we used to say ‘goosepimples’ and not ‘goosebumps’?.
82
7
459
My cat is nearly 20. I’m very proud of him. Still up for new experiences, takes no crap from the dogs.
9
7
455
Editors: by all means have midlife women on your covers. That’s good. But don’t then ruin it by adding ‘at 48’ or ‘at 52,’ as though it’s astonishing that anyone over 30 could possibly look good or be happy at their geriatric age. God, I’m so tired of it all.
15
28
446
The question I haven’t seen asked is, why does Johnson still want to be PM? He’s not up to the job, everyone hates him, including the Queen, he’s 57 with two under-twos and a pissed off child bride, and his former BFF has turned informer. What’s he hoping for?.
48
22
439
My god. The poor, poor woman. What will her life be when the kids leave home? It sounds a living hell. Kate Garraway on caring for Derek: ‘What made me think I could do this?’.
57
51
449
Bought this stone cold classic for £1. I love the cover.
29
16
420