Beowulf
@fkschindler
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I try to be faithful to the values that I believe to be important in life and to pass them on to others.- Arsene Wenger. #COYG
Nairobi, Kenya
Joined April 2019
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Mate, I have watched this thing a couple of hundred times😂😂😂
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A cousin of ours very quietly took himself to Med School in his mid 30s. He is now doing internship at Kenyatta Hospital at the age of 37. I am proud of that man. He has challenged me to pursue some dreams I long thought impossible. Proud proud proud!
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Old Twitter, let me remind y'all of an early thread so wild it went on to have it's on movie. Y'all remember this? 😂😂
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I tried to purchase a carpet online... Peep the response from the vendor 😭😭😭. Nimeisha nguvu ata😂😂😂😂
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This is extremely difficult. My brother is no more. We lost him on Monday to a road accident. RIP,
@Kipkirgit
.
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My first ever corporate interview was with Britam. At the end of it, one of the two very kind ladies that interviewed me, the HR lady, I've forgotten her name, said to me, "The interview is over, but I have just a couple more questions that have no bearing on the outcome.
I remember when I was young and stupid I once went for an interview with KCB with dreadlocks. Hata sikukaa chini, niliingia tu hivi, nikaambiwa "thanks for your time, we'll contact you"😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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DCI, you were saying?
That’s why we encourage you to stand firm in pursuit of justice, by reporting crimes happening near you for action.
#FichuakwaDCI
, 0800722203. USIOGOPE!
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It's an embarrassment to journalism that Smirti (sp?) didn't follow up here with a clarifying question to Tuju about the thinly veiled threat to judges.
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Identifying my brother crushed me man. I've never felt so lonely.
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Ukiwai tumia shower products za madame anga Protex deep clean shower gel for women you will never go back to panga soap my G. These birds enjoy good shit. Shiet.
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What utter disrespect lmao. Look who's taken up my parking slot😭😭😂😂😂
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Aye Kenyans. Si you guys come together for this guy bana and contribute for any expenses he may have. He's not requested it and may not need it but it would be a grand gesture for one who's fought so many battles for so many. I'm just putting it out there...
Words cannot explain the pain and sorrow of losing my daughter earlier today. May her soul Rest In Peace
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1. I lost my brother.
2. I got depressed and went into seclusion to take care of myself.
3. Is that sunlight I think I see over the horizon? I think it is. Took many, many steps backwards but I think now can only be forward💪💪
Lockdown started 3 years ago today. What are 3 things that have happened to you since then?
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Mi sijui bwana Mutuku. Unaeza kuwa ulinunua ifanye kazi huku Nairobi. Lakini ukienda katonbweni ukifika rough road unaeza ficha kwa kichaka uitishe punda ikubebe kama yesu. Kwani we ni special?
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Kalenjin men make the best friends y'all will ever meet. Shout out to y'all.
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You wouldn't think these are war pictures but this is the Iron Dome, the world's most sophisticated missile defense system intercepting rockets from Hamas
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I ain't lied💀💀
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Wee kipara bana, kwani Gidi anakutweetia? Gaza vs Hamas is an oxymoron😭😭
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Bro, I'm dying. How did North Rift start allowing preachers in their shuttle? 6 hours bro tutapigiwa kelele. This is insane, am mad as hell.
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Bro,I hated kuchunga ngombe but now that I am 47, I find this one of the most therapeutic things.
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Ile siku nitaomoka mimi siwezi wai sema I came from nothing bana. Ni kama kukosea heshima wazazi wangu na hiyo community ilinilea. Where I came from, we all were raised in the community. I can never ever say I came from nothing.
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If it's not the Belgians, it's the Congolese govt, if it's not those, it's the rebels supported by Uganda or Rwanda. If you escape that, ebola is waiting for you. Still have another life? Okay, let's see if you can escape volcanoes!
When will these people know peace, man!
How do you restart your life when a volcanic eruption flattens your home?
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People laughing at this woman lmao. She's in sales. She'll sell more vehicles than Car Twitter connoisseurs haha
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I have a difficult time accepting I am this tweet's subject. Nimeitwa fathee😩😩😩
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Guess I'll have to do this alone for the two of us😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔
My mother's son is having too much fun down at the coast bana. Didn't happen this year but early next year God willing nafunganya virago na nitokomee Kilifi mimi.
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Lmao, lmao, I've typed everything she said verbatim, from memory. I could hear her speak back in that conference room as I typed haha. Suffice to say, except her name, I am never good with names, I never forgot her and what she told me.
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Maumbwa ka wewe ndio mnape wamagui reason ya kutusumbua kila Friday na, "Your women are being munched in Machakos." Matiti ya ngoka sana.
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"Have you ever been to another interview before?"
"No, this is my first."
"The next time you go to an interview, try to get a suit and wear an official shirt. If you can get a suit, just wear an extremely smart shirt. And you must, you must wear a tie. If you can get one...
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Wacheni niwaibie siri ya kununua vitunguu.
1. Don't buy the net ones. Nunua zile zime mwagwa.
2. Make sure zimekauka vizuri mpaka the skin just rubs off. They should not look 'Fresh' and rubbery on top.
3. Store in a cool dry place.
Do this and you can buy onions once in 2 months
I love onions and I put a little more whenever I make food. Did you also know that onions contain sugar?😅
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Just resign and go back to the village and farm😭😭😭😭
Where is the best place to live in Nairobi with a salary of 15k
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Sit down, child. This was just the other day
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How do I even say thank you for all the kindness we've been shown the last few days? My family says thank you very much. ❤️❤️
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For the past close to one year or so, I've lived an abnormal life, away from people, away from activities that I loved. I've lived like a monk, minimizing interactions only to the absolute necessary. That phase was necessary. But now? Now, I am ready to live. Can't wait✌️✌️✌️
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Moi was a cruel, cruel person. He robbed even the poorest of persons who had little to live on. Y'all might know Kiptagich tea factory. This is how it came to being.
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College jinga flani room mate ashainidanganya ati ananifunza kisapere. Mimi nimefika KM nikaitisha ngima na itina karibu nichapwe. Smh.
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That's better haha. The Kikuyus we lived with in Mau in the '90s referred to us Kalenjins as Mbwa haha. Literally. Kikuyus from Njoro, Elburgon, and Molo still call us this lmao.
It is the fact that 'Baruya' and 'Jaruo' is usually mentioned with so much disdain by backward Kikuyus that makes it even worse.
Her tribal bigotry spoke the fvck up!
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... borrow a friend. If they refuse, find another way, (suggested some unorthodox way I didn't necessarily agree with haha), but you must wear a tie for any interview in our line of work. And never ever fold your shirt sleeves."
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A tragicomic story. During my brother's funeral, it was announced for anyone owed by him to contact the family for settlement. My young niece was there asking who she should contact for what she's owed. She'd been promised a pizza😭😭
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Bro, why are you keeping a mongrel in the house 💀💀
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Don't be a fucking imprimatur, kid. Are you out here seeking some small small affirmation? For a wannabe gangster, that's painfully shameful. Yikes.
Wft did this lady just ask me???...."Ati with that voice huwezi kua single"😠😠😠
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I owe my Loss Models unit's C grade to this game. Wasted so much time on it back in college. OGs would recognize the greatness it is🔥🔥🔥🔥
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We umbwa hizi ni tabia gani unafanya? Hauheshimu family yako? Shame on you.
ᶜʰᵉᵏᶦ ᵇᵘᵈᵃ, ʷᵃᵏᵒ ʷᵃᵖᶦ ʰᵃᵒˀ ᴹᶦ ⁿᵃᶦˢʰᶦ ᵏᶦᵏᵘʸᵘ, ⁿᶦᵏᶦᵉⁿᵈᵃ ˢᵃᵃ ʰᶦᶦ ⁿᶦᵗᵃᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵏᵘʳᵘᵈᶦ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ ᶜᵘʳᶠᵉʷˀ
This kinyozi I've gone to, during chest massage the lady literally played with the nipples and even gave a small pinch..... Let me tell you Maina 🥴
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This year is threatening to start more positively than I ever expected. My God, I have worked hard for this😭😭. On my birthday, I look forward to the best year after a couple of miserable years.
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Bro, uku nilidouble text pila jibu aisee. Musidanganywe😭😭😭
Please HMU if you’re trynna be like this.
I’m tired of being lonely.
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Just got to the office. Finally a non-memeable photo of me lmao.😅😅
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And if you're neurodivergent, you become fully adult around the ages of between 35 and 40, especially in the area of knowledge application. Before then, gather all the information you can to use later when you bloom. Your mind is a sponge even subconsciously. You're more...
Btw, kama uko between 23 years to 29 years na unaona you are stagnating in life, usilose hope. You will be okay. Life at 20s utufungua macho. Inamistreat to the extremes. Then it becomes kinder to you. You might not believe it now, but you will thank me later.
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One month apart. One was in possession of weed, the other murdered.
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Mate, it's kinda unhealthy and creepy your obsession with my hair or lack of it thereof. I like women bro, leave me alone. Sorry.
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My brother and I been doing something back in the village and we're are starting to see the results. These will be out in a week or two. Should we get good inquiries then we may consider transporting them to Nairobi. Please rt, our buyers may be on your tl.
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This message had to come from me. We are extremely grateful for the support we have received from all our friends thus far.
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Yeah, bana. I remember there was one time I was incenturiated like this. Someone ate my affocados and that was lunch. I got so incenturated I wanted to incinerate the whole place. Smh. No, Anita, no.
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The fact that my planning routine involves me checking KPLC's social media page to see if there'll be a blackout is just
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Despite numerous challenges, this has been my song whole year. We give thanks 😊
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Utapata heart attack bure msee juu ya vitu nimegoogle. Relax, calm down, and learn to take a joke. Mimi sina ubaya.
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Last time I spoke to Emmanuel was him enquiring if I would visit him early this month but it was not to be. Today I make the ugly journey to Kilifi totake care of his last business.
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Keeping it strictly metaphorical hauitaji kutuambia bbg, tunajua you live in the mud😄. Your patriarch wines & dines and plays buddy buddy with the scum of this country. We've seen it. Not your fault but sadly you're tainted by his association with the dregs of this nation... IMO
Mimi mkae mkijua I’ll swim in the mud ...And go straight to hell hizo ‘comebacks’ Zenu msiniletee essp when I’m not bothering anyone...
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@derrick_waweru_
Of course they did. I never deviated from that advice, except a small portion of that advice that I didn't agree with.
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A kale woman once said, "Motindeon let we conductor. Kot indeon let ong'ung'u."😭😭😭😭
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Accidents happen, una. Like this one😹😹
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Outside her condescending demeanor, she's just regurgitated generic material with a bit of spice. Some of her recommendations could actually lead to financial ruin. Invest where you feel comfortable and acquire as much information as you can. Information is powerful!!
This is a lot. In one video. Adulting itakufanya uwatch hii video kwa makini.
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Mate. I know this is Jack's bird na internet si ya mamangu but breh. This is fucking distasteful. Yo! There are lines that shouldn't ne crossed bana regardless of how dim you view your adversary. Bro, what?!!!
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I know a guy that used to call him names around 2014/15 here on Twitter. Dude is now almost middle-aged promoting Mugithi on Twirrraaa
Larry Madowo made very calculated moves. Champ is now a World Icon.
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