محاكاة ساخرة - Muslim Council of Birmingham
@droopy_cock
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Official twitter of the Muslim Council of Brum- the UK's foremost umbrella body for Muslim-led organisations. Working for the common good. RTs ≠ endorsement.
Birmingham.
Joined March 2021
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My wife is furious about this, her and all the other girls in year 7 are threatening to go on strike!
Michaela School: Muslim student loses school prayer ban challenge
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Charlotte Church’s support is most welcome, however, we would like her to cover her ample bangers and change her surname to Mosque.
Thank you.
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This is progressive Islam, a real man teaches wife to read, he does not deny her education. ❤️
Today of all days, remembering and being grateful for all the blessings I have in life.
ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ
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Congratulations to Humzah Yousuf on his appointment as first minister, on a side note, must be a relief to finally have a house that's big enough so all three of his wives can live with him. ❤
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Let’s hope that the new MP for Gaza sorts out the pot holes, the roads are a fkin disgrace.
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A thousand blessings to the British Transport Police, this is a most Godly gesture you have made, when will the piano be moved so we can install our prayer mats?
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Congratulations to Humza Yousuf on his appointment as First Minister. He is a learned and Godly man who promises to build a better Scotland.
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We applaud this move by Jeff, he has remembered that his constituency is Muslim and that he belongs to us.
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Islamophobia has never been higher and it is of paramount importance that the Muslim community be protected from those that resist changing to accommodate us, not to mention their blasphemous beliefs.
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Solidarity with our good friend Mustafa Fuq MP, who last night resigned his role as shadow child protection minister. He will now spend more time working on children in his constituency. ❤️
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The UK is in bad need of more Muslim statues, currently we have ONE, the Bherkin, Londons tribute to strong Muslim women.
We applaud this move.
Chancellor Jeremy Hunt has begun delivering the budget in the Commons.
First, £1 million has been allocated to a memorial that will honour the Muslims who fought in the two world wars.
📺 Sky 501 and YouTube
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This is cynical and historically inaccurate. Everyone knows that Pakistanis built Stone Henge
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Thank you GMB, Suzanna Reid looks radiant, I don't recognise the other lady but she looks amazing too!
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Happy 63rd Birthdays to Mrs Carol Vordermans, you don’t look a day over 70. ❤️
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That’s right, Owen Jones is effectively committing the genocides.
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Muslims everywhere stand with Humza Yousaf, he clearly is the victim on an Islamophobic plot. 👊
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Dear Twitter,
This man fingered my wife at Mosque, he’s 5’ 3” and wears a tartan skirt. Please help identify this menace.
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Does this mean we have to get a job?
We need to call for a national strike in solidarity.
A 24-hour walk out by every Muslim in the country.
From kids in schools/Uni, to medics, to creatives, teachers, artists, office workers, shop keepers, take away, restaurants, drug dealers the lot.
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Hubba hubba..... what a hottie! The lads downs the Mosque would smash her cat flap in.
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Why do we keep seeing this face on the interweb? Who is this Godess and is she for sale?
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This is an outrage. Non Halal chicken does not have the nutritional content needed to sustain a Muslim child, the halal tradition of choking the chicken is more humane and makes for a better meal.
Sheffield primary school investigates after non-Halal chicken served
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Zionist attacks on Gazas beautiful Shah-Wadiwady mosque are an absolute outrage, this is an insult to humanity!!! We proclaim a Fatwad on those behind it.
#Gaza
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A thousand blessings to West Midlands travel, stopping train to allow passengers to observe Tarka Dall, is a positive and most Godly move. The passengers cheer and God smiled.
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That's my bird ya cheeky tool.
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Congratulations to Mrs Begum from Small Heath, Birmingham. On a side note, this miracle would not have been possible without unemployment benefits and the support of the National Lottery.
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Thank you for those that asked. No, we do not eat fish on Good Friday, we are fasting because that is what the real God demands, then we celebrate with chicken and self pity.
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We Muslims love nothing more that strapping our rucksack, but country people run away when they see us.
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People of all faiths enjoy chocolate, we applaud Cadbury's decision to rename these as "gesture eggs", this is inclusive and will ensure that no offence is caused. That said, we still believe the "love eggs" would have been a better choice of name.
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He was a giant amongst men, surely 72 virgins will not be enough?
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Happy Good Friday to all our Christian friends!
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🎶 Like a Rochdale cowboy...
Riding out on my horse in a dirty northern nonce ghetto...
Like a Rochdale cowboy....
Getting cards and cash from people I don't even know... 🎶
Meeow. 😹
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Many were upset by my post celebrating my lovely wives, they are of course correct, how could I forget my beautiful mother on
#InternationalWomensDay
?
My shame knows no bounds.
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Merry weekend to all the faithful, may your day be full of family, prayer and TV. ❤
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Holding you St Georgies day on the same weekend as Eid Bumkayak is both blasphemous and highly inflammatory. We will not be intimidated by your extremist attitude.
#StGeorgesDay
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How can people from minorities be expected to visit the countryside when there is no provision for them? Food is not Halal, there are no prayer facilities and the locals do not speak proper English?
This has to change.
There are 15 national parks in the UK. The 10 in England cover 10% of the land area
Only 1% of visitors to UK national parks are from Black, Asian or ethnic minority backgrounds
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If a Christian man wears his wife’s clothes he is applauded and encouraged. If my friend Abu bin Qottaging, a godly man, tries on his wife’s tent he get arrested?
Islamophobia!
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Imagine the Indians surprise when on landing my uncle Mustafa sell them 20 B&H and a scratch card? 🌙
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The reality is that it was a low pitched, booming, wet, sonorous fart, a Brynn Terfal kind of fart, thus indicating he had been using his devils trumpet for sexual pleasure.
This is haram.
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Congratulations to
@georgegalloway
on a magnificent victory, the pot holes and pedophiles do not stand a chance!
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Mr Adil look like him about to explode, that’s not supposed to happen until next week…
⚠️BREAKING NEWS ⚠️
In the last few hours there have been reports that Israel has carried out an attack at a site in Iran.
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Posting such a thing during the holy month of Ramadan is grossly offensive, it causes unrest in the community and could possibly even cause an earthquake.
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Whilst completely true, that’s actually my patio set parked under there.
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Not every husband takes the time to do his wifes lashes, this is modern man.
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A thousand thanks to Birmingham City Council for funding this, both Hijab and Chapati are vital to community safety and maintaining purity of women stock.
It is a most wise investment.
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And I thought my English was shit?
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Men should not shave, having no beard makes them look homosexual and can cause earthquake’s.
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The moon is actually Pakistani territory, it was on our flag long before India thought about it. This incursion is an act of war!!!
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New series of Citizen Khan’t on the cards. 🏴
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The lads in Birmingham thoroughly enjoyed it, proper TV.
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A monumental achievement, we would like to see more muslims but this is progress.
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By popular request, how to spot a far right threat.
✅ Doesn’t go Mosque
✅ Drinks alcohol
✅ On PAYE
✅ These flags: 🇬🇧🏴
✅ No beard (not women)
✅ No shafted Audi
✅ Doesn’t smell of winnets & Lynx Africa
✅ Has a dog
✅ Good teeth
✅ Doesn’t wave arms about
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This remake of blind date looks a bit shite...
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Exactly, we’re not all goat shagging savages, just most of us.
What kind of deep hatred and disrespect must you have to say this about almost 4 million British Muslims?
Islamophobia has become an acceptable form of racism because there are zero consequences.
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Oh come on, she was only joking... you infidels have no sense of humour. 😑
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For balance, not everyone in Birmingham is a barbaric, goat shagging shitgibbon, just most of us. 🕌
Aloo aloo.
In Birmingham Muslims & left-wing useful idiots chant "Free, free Palestine. Palestine will be free from the river to the sea."
An open call for the destruction & genocide of Israel.
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The two child benefit cap disproportionately impacts Muslim families. It is designed to force worshippers into the workplace and is clearly Islamophobic.
🚨 NEW: Labour has been told to scrap the two child benefits cap as research shows it pushes families into poverty
[
@guardian
]
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One thousand felicitations to our Sky Sport. The game of Kickball has waited far too long for a Muslim presenter.
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This is indeed most correct. Essential journeys must not be impeded by the burden of Ulez, our cities are predominantly Muslim so it is right that Mosque be exempt. No man can tax God, the Quorn forbids it.
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The Yemeni people must be shown our compassion and support. It is not their fault that they intervened in a conflict that does not concern them.
The Holy Quorn states that as Muslims they must attack shipping and that infidels should thank them and send money and virgins.
Yemeni people have already been enduring starvation. Further violence will not achieve peace.
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We, the people of Birmingham love our Queen, she is beautiful, most wise and smells of chips and B&H. ❤️
On about the fifth name you can see that I look up and I choke as I go on to read the next name because what I saw when I looked up was the families of killed women standing up in the gallery as a mark of respect. It took everything I had to not just break down in tears.
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A huge shout out to everyone at MCB for their efforts in making this possible, needless to say, our campaign to rename Birmingham "Brumistan" is now in full flow.
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Cheeky knob, those are my wives!
Incase you didn’t know this is how deep letterboxes are buried .
You’re welcome 📮
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These scenes from Gaza are most harrowing, people who have so little are being bombed over a simple misunderstanding. Send in you donations to Red Crescent.
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Gender identity politics is dangerous, it can lead to erratic behaviour in animals and cause embarrassing role reversal.
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Your starter for 10, Jihadi college Gaza… where is Gaza on the map?
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We wish to thank the Archbishop for not mentioning Jesus. This is most considerate as it could cause offence during our most holy time and could be Islamophobic.
Holy Saturday is the ultimate time of waiting and lamenting. It’s easy to look back when you know what comes next, but Holy Saturday asks us to enter a death that seems final; without hope and without future. For the disciples, it’s the day that all stopped: when the future was
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Praise Allah!
My favourite film.... "Shaving Ryan's privates"
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Sadiq was right to criticise the Rabbi. Mr Khan is an excellent Mayor so there is no other explanation for the Rabbi to criticise him.
There is also another issue here, since when has it been acceptable for a Jewish person to challenge a Muslim? This is blasphemy and is illegal.
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Eh up tha sen… move over Peter Sutcliffe and Jimmy Savile, our brother, Mustafa Fuq will become Yorkshire’s most famous man.
These are the new local councillors elected to serve the British people in Leeds, UK.
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Merry Prides from the Colonel Mustafa Butt Mosque in Birmingham. Allah loves all and we invite you to his snack bar for light fingering buffet.
Thank yous.
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Merry Easter from Birmingham.
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It is pointing the wrong way, it is pointing toward Mecca in Walsall, this is clearly Islamophobic.
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Mayor Khan is completely correct, learning Arabic would improve access and inclusivity for all Muslims, it should be compulsory in all schools and adult education class be mandated.
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Ramadam BumKayake from the people of Birmingham. ❤️
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We do, Poppy has an excellent pair, we also wank over your other daughter’, your wife and your mother.
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This is actually true, the worms Latin name is Owenus Joneseus and it is most common in Western men.
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“From the river to the sea, our school lunches will be free”
Aloo bumkayak.
Thousands of people have joined a pro-Palestine protest in London calling for an end to Israel's bombardment of Gaza.
Police estimated around 100,000 demonstrators gathered in the capital.
Read more:
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This is most appallings, we are not the friends with the benefits but all married to each other.
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These are most comfortable for Mosque, thank you Adil Ray for your beautiful design. ❤
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Ffs mate, park within the lines. How hard can it be?
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She looks like a prostitute, she should wear burqa, cover up for sake of her modesty and to prevent arousal in men.
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This is why us Muslim buy old Mercedes, leather upholstery is most easy to clean. UK haS many pot hole and have you seen the mess snails make?
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The effort of our government to rescue British citizens from Sudan has been pitiful, thousands of holiday makers have been put in peril. Scenes like this cannot be tolerated, it would never happen if they were not Muslim.
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This new memorial to Muslim fighters is looking lovely, maybe the budget could stretch to a minaret and a splash of green paint through
@Jeremy_Hunt
?
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This is nothing short of Islamophobia. Apsana Begum does not have tusks and is way shorter.
We see you.
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There are no Pakistani grooming gangs in the UK. Our men are polite, ask permission and even buy your girls a kebab. Ha, take that Mr Whitey!
21 convictions of child sex abuse in West Midlands.
13 charged in Bolton with serious child grooming offences.
8 were women.
1 Divise Home Secretary.
0 were Pakistani in these cases.
📢 ETHNICITY is NOT the problem
#groominggangs
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People often say to me “Stan, why you come to England”…. My response… UK is the land of Milf and Cunny as described in the holy Korma.
It is ours. ☪️
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A most beautiful picture of Labour leader Mr Starmer and his assistant, Angela-Bin-Taxdodging, she look real good in green.
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This is what happens when you send Ian Blackford down Asda for tiffin.
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Watching decadent Western TV such as Strictly come dancing has result in our young men fighting like prancing fruits. Less TV, More Mosque.
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We were delighted that Justin Welby was able to join us at the Arjee Bhaji Mosque today. Ramadan is the holiest time of the year and we’re delighted he was able to celebrate with us.
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Whatever next? A ceasefire in Batley? Good news for RE teachers.
I’ve put my name to Labour’s amendment calling for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza.
The violence must end now.
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