chu cold scorpio Profile Banner
chu cold scorpio Profile
chu cold scorpio

@douglaschu_

Followers
2,903
Following
1,793
Media
5,278
Statuses
70,386

and so what? so what if all I ever made of my life was more of it?

Grand Rapids, MI
Joined June 2011
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
now’s a good time as any to announce “there is no safety,” the title track to my EP. what is reality? reality is what you can count on. what is pain? pain is when you bump into reality. we are not promised safety. but we may find completion
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
russian soldiers trying to match on tinder with women from the country they’re invading and then getting catfished for intel is such a weird “we live in the future” moment
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@douglaschu_
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3 years
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@douglaschu_
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1 year
@fuitsnack daddy issues seem to affect your relationship with the world. my issues with my mom affect my relationship with myself
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@douglaschu_
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2 years
nice p.s.: lift all restrictions on ukrainian refugees
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@rebexxxxa “sidewalks are ableist” was a good one
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@douglaschu_
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3 years
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@douglaschu_
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3 years
@orageofachilles @Maccadaynu They should have let you continue to play as Fired Rex Tillerson and show up in pajamas eating ice cream or something
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@deadlysensitive @fayemikah the parenthetical phrasing! "her own (which, may I add...)"
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@DiegeticMN @kenklippenstein he was unlocking its full potential all along
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@douglaschu_
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2 years
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@tammieetc equal parts amazed and horrified. cutting directly into the package of pork belly. the bowl full of standing dish water. chaos haute cuisine. do they work in a kitchen to have their hands be immune to oil splatter burns. I may steal the double layer of panko move
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
4 months
@krillyboy @feralspamlet @kingbolby pull down pull down…. pull down
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@comicsplunder @punished_cait I have just as much contempt for the crab bucket types who were like “people shouldn’t be mean to her but idk she’s a little weird and creepy”. a more subtle and insidious bullying
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
4 months
@BirdRespecter it's time to re-stigmatize therapy
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
my phone being “gotta hear both sides”
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@douglaschu_
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1 year
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@PourDecision now it’s soldiers giving away stuff to someone with a desk job whom they think is a woman
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@OfVick @PourDecision gives a new meaning to a/s/l
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@ManuclearBomb As a musician, “Can I Borrow a Feeling” is the best parody of bad songwriting ever created. It’s not possible to write a clumsier set of metaphors
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
one of my favorite things to do is talk to kids and take everything they say very seriously, like an important business client
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@AWasiukiewicz @ThreshedThought now the lady spies don’t even have to be real
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@douglaschu_
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2 years
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@douglaschu_
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2 years
@hahafunnymemay @SgtGreen_v2 @kahltfeet @Flawless_Cowboi finally, a reason to look after my health so I can live to see domesticated brown bears
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 months
@PineCellar lol, chicken milk
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
our brains will literally worldbuild a complete story arc with an omniscient narration instead of asking someone else what they’re feeling
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
@coolebio @deezmalders @BDAstroBaker @halomancer1 I have a mutual who subscribed for a month and the check stayed there for like 5-6 months afterwards
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@LinkedIn and I’ll fuckin do it again
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@douglaschu_
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1 year
@Symbo1ics @lameypilled @TerfyMcTerfy he was supposed to bring balance to virginity, not destroy it
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
michael caine tearing up in a muppet christmas carol, when the ghost of christmas present brings scrooge to his nephew’s holiday party and they absolutely roast him when he’s not there… what a tour de force of acting
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@DiValeyeva @tmsilverman robbed of 19th place
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@ToriGlass this was great. next up, screaming at your kids! (my mother’s preferred form of discipline)
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@douglaschu_
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3 years
@KevOnStage fully agreed, here’s an entry in the instrumentalist category
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@douglaschu_
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1 year
@teachequitably1 on *suspicion* of being pro union, man. this is red scare energy
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
this man is my hero
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@douglaschu_
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3 years
@RoogerCrux @tevruden @TheMemeJester he has that oafish jaw like many of bugs’ nemeses
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
none of us were going to invite you over anyway kris
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@kept_simple if you don’t mind a total absence of sun from October to March, why not Grand Rapids, MI? It’s run by the benevolent oligarchy of Dutch billionaires
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
what if evangelical men had picked a different action movie from 1995 to idolize, like waterworld
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
the birthday boy has logged on I am 33, let the jesus year commence
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@ziwe never has so much been said with a series of eye movements
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
10 months
a victimless crime
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
8 months
@FlamingArrow79 @thedigitaldash_ it’s calibrated for how our bodies experience temperature! it just makes sense!!
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 months
@thefemiurge @ChadNotChud alexander graham bell wanted it to be “ahoy-hoy”
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
new intrusive thought: the liberty mutual jingle but it’s “liturgy liturgy liturgy”
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@Kaitlin_M_Ruiz @mattxiv there’s a 3 month gap between the original posting and the last edit
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@mrmomo261 @ChadNotChud does this family buy oranges by the pallet
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
@stevenkluber @MNateShyamalan alright you’ve evaded the block this time
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@douglaschu_
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1 year
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@douglaschu_
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3 years
@zedjames_ @Joebob packet up, we have a winner
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
@fellawhomstdve I heard donnie yen requested that his character be blind. he had unfinished business
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
“just looking for the jim to my pam” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
@myfavshipclears @cowboylikebett @natniels “have you tried not posting” is a subpar comeback. cosmetic lane wins, judges’ decision
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
I pocket the $15 and spend it on two beers + tip
@KaiOrdonio
Kai Ordonio
2 years
Who you got?! Credit: @justinjonker_
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
believe it or not, this is my very first valentine’s day where I’ve been in a relationship. it is a wonderful feeling to celebrate it with @woldair_ . happy valentine’s day marie ❤️ xoxo
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@jeanpaulblartre @bananafitz In season 1, yes, but after that she became more and more an aspirational figure
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@SamBart89 @I_am_Jay_Gatsby @minakimes maybe one day the pornstars will reply back to him
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
5 years
@gloomfather a Lodge skillet is $15...?
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@pIanet_sandwich @kathbarbadoro you may have been the recipient of like, a low-grade form of sexual harassment, honestly. unwanted touch crosses a line
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@foureyesfiend “The low-ranking soldier had received money via his brother's account from his online lover, Rajesh Meena, superintendent of police, State Special Branch, Rajasthan Police, told CNN.” lol this makes it sounds like his lover was the police superintendent
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
@DrawThisTweet @qreyth what the fuck is this
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
4 months
@HelloCullen like how do you even think of something like that
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
i am being persecuted in my own group chat for my anti-IPA convictions. A prophet has no honor in his hometown
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@oeste it’s the cross-talk, it’s layered just right
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
frasier, but it’s john piper moving in with abraham
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
I’m not a natural at lending a sympathetic ear but I am a natural at lending a hater’s ear. I will creatively talk shit about the person who hurt you, on your behalf
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
The existence of a Science Mike implies the existence of a Humanities Mike
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
who said this? the federal bureau of lizards?
@KAKEnews
KAKE News
1 year
Set your air conditioning to 78 degrees during the day, 82 at night, federal program suggests: #KAKEnews
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@Sosorrymam1 @kathbarbadoro what about those of us curséd with socially anxious self-awareness
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
all christian deconstruction accounts should be hobby themed. you should have to pick one. deconstruction and gardening. deconstruction and model trains. deconstruction and decoupage
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
I'm too low church for high church people and too high church for low church people 😏✨
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
I didn't think I'd have to say it but this is a pro-Mr. Brightside account
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
10 months
@andr3uh @kaitholomew @gore_b4by I think you are all meant to team up
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
let he who is without sin cast the first bean 😌
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
3 years
@TylerHuckabee @tammieetc I have been told on good authority that the hand tattoos + imperviousness to heat are signs of someone who has been a line cook
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@merte_ @THEKIDMERO it was the 90’s and white people hadn’t learned about it from food bloggers yet
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
5 years
@tweetraychang @ryanstruyk @MichaelRWear @CNN This is the second time @ryanstruyk hasn’t included Asian polling data. If nothing else, do a fellow Calvin alum a solid here, Ryan!
@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
5 years
(Asians not included.)
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@douglaschu_
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3 years
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@douglaschu_
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1 year
@moghilemear13 @Jose1Pino @dieworkwear you got cooked by a bluecheck. time to hang it up for good
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@critterjune @clhubes biblically accurate messy bun
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@Drottenssten @barista__morg don’t you have some guests you aren’t feeding
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
retroactive announcement: I have accepted a job offer and am going private while they run the background check. it is a very well-paying big boy software engineering gig. can’t fumble the bag
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
@dril LEND DRIL YOUR ENERGY —
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
@SweatieAngle behold, the alpha male
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
@punished_cait lmao also ai is just predictive text on steroids. it is not reading anything, it is spitting out a plausible sounding review of john green and then totally making shit up about her book
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
2 years
@silea @TheEconomist close the internet, you’ve won for today.
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2 years
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@douglaschu_
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3 years
@nhannahjones guy owns 39 restaurants! small business my ass
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@douglaschu_
chu cold scorpio
1 year
if you got married before the apps you most definitely did
@lolennui
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2 years
do married people watch gen z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam
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@douglaschu_
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1 year
@joblessthursday @gayswordfight “it’s easeh to think of italy…”
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