Dom Joly
@domjoly
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219,994
Following
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Media
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Statuses
60,280
OG Blue Tick 😂 ON TOUR SEPT/OCT/NOV . New book out. Queries: lesley @aitkenalexander .co.u
Somewhere only we know
Joined December 2008
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#นาฏราชครั้งที่15
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#母の日
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Mothers Day
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WIN AT NATARAJA AWARDS
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Moms
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Mães
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Madres
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#光る君へ
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#鬼滅の刃
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DONBELLE BOX OFFICE LEGACY
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#ใจพิสุทธิ์ep1
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#山下美月卒業コンサート
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カーネーション
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#やまラスト
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#CSKvsRR
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#OnlyBooSeriesEP6
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#アクマゲーム
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#PVL2024
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#アンチヒーロー
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Djokovic
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キヨ結婚
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Arapça
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美月ちゃん
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Literally gobsmacked at the utterly vile and disgusting comments written about Meghan Markle by Jeremy Clarkson in the Sun. What an utter piece of trash he is…what is it with these type of men that triggers them so?
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Imagine being so dim, so heartless, so utterly detached from reality that you would not be concerned about letting this photo be taken?
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The
#PeoplesMarch
is a disgrace - a million nice people politely roaming the streets of London shouting non racist slogans and being decent to foreigners.
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Wearing/not wearing a mask after July 19th will be the new Brexiter/Remainer divide.
It never fucking ends...
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Wishing my great-aunt Judith a happy 90th birthday. She is an incredible lady who once swam the Strait of Messina naked. Live your life.
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How come Matt Hancock loses whip for doing I’m a Celeb but Boris Johnson can go on permanent holiday and nothing happens?
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Sometimes.I wish I was still in my stunt satire days. I’d have had a “Big Dog” costume made overnight and today would be wandering around Westminster trundling a suitcase full of booze. News needs images.
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Well, when I say “no matter what” I meant, “unless somebody pays me £700,000 a week to sportswash their appalling regime.”
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Only half an hour until Piers Morgan starts furiously masturbating…
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My “bucket” would be - don’t be a profiteer in a pandemic and rip off the NHS
@MichelleMone
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What????
@krishgm
fired from
@Channel4News
for calling Steve Baker a cunt? Don’t we want the news to speak truth to power?
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By “it” I presume you mean eternal shame for panicking about empty threats from Farage and enabling Brexit, sending us into an economic death spiral?
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Nothing…not a word from our scumbag Home Secretary
@SuellaBraverman
We are deeply distressed that a far right protest in Knowsley has led to riots. We can’t imagine the terror of the people inside the hotel. Far right protestors have set fire to a police van
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I just love how he thinks that he is the thing all governments are worrying about…The ego…
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This country is rotten to the core
Jacob Rees-Mogg MP
&
Michael Fabricant MP are…
KNIGHTED
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Got to say- I really like Meghan Markle. No questions at this time.
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Does anybody know where I can get a new irony meter? Mine just exploded…
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Prince Harry seems to be annoying everybody I hate- good on him.
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The amount of people defending Russell Brand, slagging off the women involved and believing that this is all because Brand is some “threat to the Matrix” is pure Trumpism and deeply, deeply depressing..
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This is very clever- click and scroll right
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“ I’m afraid we’re not going to be able to see each other as much as I’d like for a while. I’ve got to go join a sinking ship.”
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Massive gang of non-racists maraud the streets of London chanting non-racist slogans and not harassing foreigners.
#PeoplesVoteMarch
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Alleluia- he is sinking..
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This is crazy- stare at the three dots on the nose for 30 seconds without blinking and then stare at ceiling and blink fast..
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Who had “Penny Mordaunt overshadowing everything” on their bingo card?
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So...Prince Andrew to be stripped of his military roles for....sorry...my mistake, Prince Harry to be stripped of his military roles for moving to California and going a bit woke...
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*BREAKING* Reports of Rees Mogg and Therese Coffey stripped to the waist, greased in olive oil and offering to wrestle any Tory MP who does another tv interview..
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Imagine getting dressed, making your own way to the studio and then actually saying this on national tv?
“This Rwanda plan for me is a brilliant idea by the Conservative Party. It’s being stopped by idiots that are just thinking of human rights.” 😳
#BBCQT
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I felt proud of it being 20 years today, since Trigger Happy TV was born but just found out my daughter has got into Oxford- so proud my heart could burst...
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Hey cunty, you know you’re not Prime Minister any more right? There’s a reason for that. You were a disaster. Stop showboating and jog on.
I’m making the case for giving Ukraine everything it needs to defeat Putin
The United States has done so much - that’s why I came to Washington to say thank you and ‘God bless the USA’
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Don’t read these papers but…sitting behind someone who does, you understand the effect that this flow drip-feed of poisonous bollocks must have on the reader 😱
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Just a quick reminder that Laurence Fox might be the saddest individual that I have had the misfortune to come across…
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“You’re” learn English. Integrate.
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Has there ever been a man so consistently wrong on everything? It’s an extraordinary skill.
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Re fake fainting…I was next to Gillian McKeith when she “fainted” live on I’m a Celeb. She ruined the look by adjusting her shirt once supposedly unconscious on the jungle floor…
@mrjamesob
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Just go, you whinging twat.
🧵
There is much speculation about the time at which I become appointed the bailiff of Northstead Manor, as part of the arcane resignation process when standing down as an MP.
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WTF is this Dominic Cummings Twitter shit? He “masterminds” the decline of our country under the Eton Mess but now tweets like he’s some underground resistance fighter who was battling to save us all the time. FUCK RIGHT OFF!
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Very late to the table but…watching The Detectorists. Rather wonderful and strangely calming.
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It’s almost like you’ve achieved absolutely nothing…
Three years of a progressive Tory government being washed down the drain. Levelling up, dumped. Social care reform, dumped. Keeping young and vulnerable people safe online, watered down. A bonfire of EU leg, not happening. Sale of C4 giving back £2b reversed. Replaced with what?
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Just turned up at my local gym half an hour before it opens and demanded they let me in before the “normals” so I can do my thing in private. They replied in strong Anglo-Saxon terminology & refused. Off to a Harvester for a power breakfast (meeting Neil Oliver to talk history)
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Hey
@Nigel_Farage
how come you're cool with this intervention in UK politics but lost your shit over Obama opining on Brexit? Oh yes, because you're a massively hypocritical thundercunt.
World Exclusive: President
@realDonaldTrump
told
@Nigel_Farage
, Corbyn "would be so bad for your country, he'd take you into such bad places"
#TrumpOnLBC
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Boris Johnson has arrived. He was dressed by a gibbon this morning, as is tradition.
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We’ll done
@SuellaBraverman
you successfully weaponised the angry gammon- you utter muppet.
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I'm not joking for once...this is fucking embarrassing gibberish, literally devoid of substance and logic. Beyond satire..
#BorisHasFailed
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Hey
@GregHands
I know all you do is wave that 13 year old letter about, but…care to comment on this?
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“Here to stop the boats” - what a disingenuous piece of horse manure
'Are you going to resign home secretary?'
'I'm here to stop the boats' -
@SuellaBraverman
insists she has done nothing wrong after claims she asked civil servants to help her avoid a public speed awareness course
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what is the collective noun for 2,300 wankers?
Our “Evening with Jacob Rees-Mogg” at the 2,300-seat London Palladium has now sold out. He shifted tickets there faster than Gary Barlow. Strange times.
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I feel for Bruce. I sold my house and then the people who bought it demanded I move out…bloody liberty.
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Imagine the state of your life. The utter non-existence of any moral compass. The unabashed shithousery of your existence, if you are still defending the convicted sex offender, Donald Trump.
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Aaaasrrrggghh
@mrjamesob
I've had a vaccine passport for years...polio, hepatitis yellow fever etc, there are loads of countries that won't let you in without showing your vaccination passport - people complaining have never left their village...
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“They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings…”
A Beautiful Sight.
I remind myself every day how lucky I am to belong to this flag.
Why wouldn't I?
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Just overheard a man talking in a light Italian accent in a hotel in Malton, Yorkshire. I have performed a citizen's arrest- what to do next?
@mrjamesob
@LBC
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Katie Hopkins tweeted, then quickly deleted this - how is this woman allowed to exist?
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Look at this global village idiot. Was PM for a long weekend. Got found out. Got chucked out. Now blaming the “Deep State.” The fucking deep state of it….
Has any ex-UK Prime Minister ever done anything as embarrassing as this?
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“I am broadcasting live from the GB News Bunker here on top of the cliffs of Dover…I have taken hostages…I am not fucking about…here are my demands…”
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Are we in China?
Outrageous scenes of cops arresting anti-monarchy protestors and stealing their placards
So we are not allowed to show public opposition to a bloke being crowned head of state for having been born into unimaginable wealth while ppl line up at food banks and schools fall apart
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Holy shit- I’m agreeing with Nick Ferrari
Nick Ferrari, "Any water company chief executive who continues to allows their company to put raw sewage into the water should go to jail for five years.. Put them behind bars, it will be solved overnight."
#BBCQT
Helen Whately's expression at the end..
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Enjoyed that…
'The implication of asking about where our funding comes from is that you think that I'm doing someone else's bidding.'
'That's exactly what I'm saying.'
Comedian
@domjoly
interrogates Institute of Economic Affairs'
@matthewlesh
over the funding of his think tank.
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This you?
Trying to remove an elected PM with a huge personal mandate, mid term, is anti democratic. Those who seek to do so are subverting democracy. If you respect democracy, Mr Major, Mrs May, Mr Heseltine et al, do it through the ballot box, not by abusing your power and influence.
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Will you help us find a loving family for these, less fortunate members of our society, who have lived tragic lives entirely devoid of warmth and empathy?
If you know of anybody up for the challenge, please contact 0800AdoptaGhastly
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