Slapstick
@distortions_s
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Saw Charlie Day while he was talking on the phone in Williamsburg & I legit froze in my tracks. He hung up his phone call and in his high pitched Charlie Day voice was like “Hey! Wanna take a picture?” And I was like “yes pls” and then this was born
What’s your favorite interaction you’ve had with a celebrity?
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Walked through the Bob Dylan movie set, walked past timothee chalamet and started shaking and almost threw up goodnight
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Ik this is a joke so I don’t mean to take it too seriously but this is kinda just proof of people victimizing themselves in their own heads and using it as an excuse to be hateful toward people they’ve never met
I think the problem with them as a romcom lead couple is they look like they would be mean to me and so that is hard to root for
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@haneswhitetee
The one where Sandy tries to kill SpongeBob and Patrick while they’re trapped in her tree dome during her hibernation
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In Staten Island… there is only one Trader Joe’s… everyone shows up on Sundays and buys all of the frozen pizza and dumpling. If you’re lucky, you’ll get the last of the sour dough bread. There are three car accidents outside in the parking lot each week. This is how we survive
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When I worked for Ellen she shot my dog in front of me and hid my grandmas cancer results & made me play Rock Paper Scissors to get them back
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People were saying Pete and Kim were only pretending to date for clout but the fact that he took her to the atrium completely debunks that they’re REAL serious
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I mean she treated him shitty in the beginning that’s why she apologized. She realized what it felt like to live in a world where the opposite sex has all the power. Sometimes I feel like nobody understands anything in media.. like at all. The point of feminism is equality.
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My mental illness leaving my body the second i download the sims 4
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Since I’m shadow banned on Instagram here are photos of me even tho I hate posting my face on this god forsaken app
Taken by
@LennyTree
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Online job application questions be like: if a customer held a gun to your head would you
A. Walk away rudely
B. Lay your life on the line for this company and do whatever you can to help
C. Cause a scene
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When this pandemic is over I’m gonna lick a subway pole. I’m gonna sit in piss on a sidewalk after stepping in vomit at a bar and eat 2bros pizza. I’m gonna shake hands with every crackhead in bushwick. I’m gonna be sweated on by someone with body odor at a show. I’m gonna fuckin
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I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat looking at me like this
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When you realize you’re about to shit yourself but need to stand completely still or it’ll come out
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Stop letting twitter dictate your views on morality bc people log onto this hellsite with 2 brain cells, tweet something narcissistic and all the seals start clapping
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This is no joke. My moms best friend got r*ped in the woods when they were teenagers and when she went with her to the precinct to report what happened / get help, a cop just said “is that what she was wearing? What did you think would happen?” It was a female cop too !!
“But what about rape and domestic violence, don’t we need cops for that?”
In my 5+ years as a domestic violence counselor, there was not one instance where I saw a victim of either sexual assault, rape, or domestic violence get the help they needed by the police.
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I never post pics of myself on here rly but here... don’t know if they’re goin on insta
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My mom found this gem & I rly cant believe I met Lana Del Rey with horrendous eyebrows and chapped lips..
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My sister and I started sending spongebob stills to our parents daily bc they’re fuckin weird
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I wanna dye my hair pastel pink so fucking bad but I feel like everyone is gonna be mad (these are obv edits I wanted to see how it would look)
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Wow look who took some time off from being humanity’s STRONGEST soldier to hang with his bestie lol might delete later. <3
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Dyed my hair and now i look like Hayley Williams in the decode video. 16 year old me is quaking
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My coping skills checking out after my brain leaves me with yet another hypothetical painful scenario
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I hate birthday parties but if i ever have something again it’s gonna be sopranos themed
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As a gamer I’d like to go on record and say that most games are bad
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This is literally not true for people who don’t catch their Lyme disease early lmfao
Lyme disease is very treatable.. a bug infects you and you go on a short term antibiotic then you’re good. This whole chronic lyme disease movement is pseudoscience and many of these of these “alternative doctors” treating A-list celebs have been found guilty of malpractice and…
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I can’t believe I’m outing myself like this but please look at this deeply fried image of me and Hayley Williams when I was like 14
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@zachlanebryan
This song has some sort of power because I swear me & a few others I know have sobbed to it a bunch of times. “My mind ain’t well and i just can’t tell you why”.
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I feel like in Sydney’s case everyone literally just tries to find reasons to hate her bc she’s hot with big boobs… like y’all, go love yourselves.
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Heat enjoyers don’t read this
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Cold enjoyers... hello :)
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I always fear what I’ll wake up to and this time it was this
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Cute picture of my bf looking like he listens to a lot of lofi and eats cigarettes
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Why can nobody in Staten Island restaurants cook is my question
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People that let their kids slobber on everything, touch everything and lay all over the seats on public transportation rly disgust me
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So I turned old family photos into fake indie album covers and
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Me starting my morning thinking about death and freaking myself out
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Some ppl rly walk around with their inflated ego and narcissistic tendencies unchecked. I will HUMBLE you
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My bf and step dad almost lost their lives today because someone wanted to speed and send the car flying. If they died bc of the person speeding I would find the person and take them out myself on god
When y’all drive like this do y’all ever consider how many other ppl SWORE they could drive & ended up being the reason somebody lost their life? Do y’all consider ppl with babies in the car? Like I’m genuinely curious.
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1. You stole me dime
2. You stole me dime
3. YOU STOLE ME DIME
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I have no patience for working out & I’m mad when i can’t lose weight
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Tye after I told him 3 times that it wouldn’t run on his laptop from 500 bc
CyberPunk loading screen is so much fun 😍😍😍 ok guess I’ll uninstall now
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If Tony Soprano lived on Staten Island he’d live in Princes Bay
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Just made the most bangin chicken parm with no recipe. It’s the Italian blood
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Pete takes every woman he dates on the Staten Island grand tour. They prob have wine on lighthouse hill and cruise past his old house 10 times
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My mom is a teacher and one of her kids changes his zoom username to “I hate my life” at least 3 times a week and I feel that
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No they’d be antivax come on. They’d have those fake cards in 2 seconds
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This sounds ridiculous but every time I watch a new show I’m like “I wonder when my memory will run out of space” like it’s a fucking hard drive
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