Daniel Gonzales
@dgonzales1990
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Asst Prof @ Vanderbilt BME • HHMI Hanna Gray Fellow • Neuroengineering, Neuroscience, Physics • Husband • Dad • BBQ • he/him
Nashville, TN
Joined March 2015
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Me: *laughs at phone*
Wife: what’s funny
Me: just a friend on twitter
W: who is that
Me: this is [X] they’re a [postdoc/grad student/prof] at [Y] university
W: how did you meet?
Me: ᵗʷᶦᵗᵗᵉʳ
W: have you met in person?
Me: ⁿᵒ
W: and you’re friends????
Me: ᶦ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ˢᵒ
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I love academia. Started at the bottom and now here I am 12 years later just slightly above the bottom.
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For my PhD defense I had to find a 3 hr weekday slot that was free for 5 faculty members from 2 universities surely they can move the boat
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[the invention of the postdoc]
New PhD: I did it. I finished.
Academia: do it again
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The dance we all quietly do at our desks when you analyze the data and it looks so good
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Who was the first postdoc. What’s that villain origin story
University: “Hey we wanna hire you. Not to do another PhD. And not as faculty either. But a secret third thing”
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High-profile papers that “discover” something that’s been known for years but using a more fancy technique.
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I have zero experience in a covid-related field, but I have a PhD, I am pretty goodz with the numberz, I am a man, and I know people really want to hear what I have to say so here is my take on covid-19:
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No one:
My dad: Have I told you about my son. He’s a doctor. A PhD kind of doctor. He’s a physicist. Yea like that show but with brains. I call him Dr Gonzalessss. He went to school at Rice University. You know what they call Rice University? The “Ivy League of the south.” He..
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Me, a postdoc, fixing grad student experiments not because I’m smarter but because I’ve run into the same problem hundreds of times
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Me: yea I’m a scientist..I totally live my life based on scientific facts
Science: sleep more
Science: drink less
Science: eat healthier
Me: *takes a sip of whiskey and a bite of nachos at midnight while I try to think of good tweets*
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skimmed through some of Fauci's emails and this one was so relatable
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Academics love to say how busy they are then get into an argument on here that lasts 327 tweets
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My 3yo is asking daily for research updates. Awesome at first.
But now he goes into PI-mode when I get home (but isn’t wearing pants).
“How were the worms today”
“Did they sleep more or less”
“Can you have this figure to me by the morning”
“Can I have some goldfish”
Brutal.
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Congratulations to all the Nobel winners and Macarthur genius fellows announced today
My personal achievement on this Tuesday was writing code in the morning and being confused by it in the afternoon
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Yea I’m a physicist by education and do neuro now....but do I still remember the essential fundamentals of physics?
No.
But can I pick up a thermo or quantum mechanics book and quickly get back up to speed?
Also no.
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Getting asked for directions on campus is so awkward when you’re a postdoc
Like...yes...I work here....but I only know 1) where the science is and 2) where the coffee is
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In a tiny effort to inject more positivity into academia: if I read your paper and I like it....I’m gonna send you an email.
No critique. No suggestions. Literally just an email to say what I liked about your paper.
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“I’m going to read these papers on my flight”
*listens to music*
*stares into void*
*listens to podcasts*
*dozes*
*reads 3yr old airplane magazine*
*reorganizes apps on phone*
*eavesdrops on nearby conversation*
*plane lands*
Ugh if only this flight was longer I would have read
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Before I start my postdoc, I am collecting better ways of saying “I am dumb and ignorant.”
I have:
“I am pretty much a clean slate on this topic”
“I need to read more before having a strong opinion/hypothesis on this topic”
Send more please.
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Neil deGrasse Tyson on twitter tomorrow:
tO eVeRyOnE wHo tHiNks yEt aNoTheR rOtaTiOn oF OuR mIniScuLe rOcK ArOuNd tHe hOt baLL oF pLasMA iS sIgNifiCanT aNd aLso fInDs bAsE TeN nUmBeRs iMpOrtAnT fOr nO reAsOn: hapPY nEw YeAr aNd NeW deCaDe
tO EverYoNe eLse: haPPy wEdnesDaY
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Interviewer: how do you connect with other scientists?
Me: Twitter is surprisingly good for this
Int: what’s a way you keep up with science literature?
Me: ha sounds silly but twitter sometimes
Int: what’s your go-to method for announcing achievements?
Me: ᵗʷⁱᵗᵗᵉʳ
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Thinking about the Before Times (2019) when I wanted a virtual component to my PhD defense and the tech guys told me it “could not be done” 😂
And also there were “major security concerns” and what if my research “got into the wrong hands” and I was like bro lol I study worms
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Since PI’s are cancelling all their travel plans can y’all please send us edits on that draft we sent 2 weeks ago
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It’s not Halloween yet but there are monsters among us
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*cleans lab scale*
Me: I am the backbone of this laboratory
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Look - I love science. I can’t wait to be a PI and see all these ideas in my brain become reality.
But like....I also can’t wait to be that mentor that relentlessly has your back no matter what. I’m so excited to be that person.
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I only recruit prospective PhD students that have R01s
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God grant me the confidence of an ivy league university that says with a full chest that PhD students work less than 20hr/week
This is from CU's website, and the last part of it is simply false. While there are student-workers in some places who research only 20 hrs/wk (so they can teach the other 20 hrs/wk), many science grad students here (incl all the ones I know) do research 30, 40, or more hrs/week.
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GRAD SCHOOL SURVIVAL SKILLZ
————————————————
Daniel L. Gonzales, PhD
(I spent 6 yr here so just trust me)
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Co-authored tweets are now a thing but make no mistake: I will only allow co-authors from those who made significant intellectual contribution to the tweet. Also research techs and undergrads cannot make the author list, but will be included in the Acknowledgments section
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“Are you switching platforms!? Twitter is crumbling! It’s so toxic! It’s so poorly managed!”
I’m an academic y’all I feel right at home
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Making internet friends
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“Biologist should learn to code”
do any of us know how to code tho or are we all just googling commands we use all the time but still can’t remember
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“Just stick to the science” doesn’t even make sense to me anymore.
Science is driven by people.
People are messy.
People need to be mentored.
People need support.
People need to be empowered.
When we build up people we build up science.
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For the low price of $5 I will crash your zoom group meeting with a screen name that matches your PI’s former advisor.
Audio only and I’ll type “can’t get the microphone to work but I’m always watching and haven’t forgotten about that last paper you owe me”
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Ok so this is resonating and IT FEELS GOOD TO KNOW ALL YALL FEEL THE SAME. Signing off I have important things to do like watch Netflix and analyze data 🤟
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Me: i think my experiment worked!
Wife: amazing. Have you replicated it yet.
She is truly the toughest PI I’ve ever had
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Y’all I’m so happy to announce that I’ll be an Assistant Professor in the Vanderbilt Biomedical Engineering Department and the Vanderbilt Brain Institute starting January 2024
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Choose your battles I just let my 3yo go to bed with a piece of bacon in his hand
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I’ve had some whiskey and I need to be honest
I have never done a western blot. I barely know what they are. All I really know is y’all complain about them all the time
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In an effort to normalize failure I just want to announce I was passed up for both the MacArthur and multiple Nobels. Been a rough couple of weeks. Will continue to press forward
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Trying to convince prospective students to consider joining my lab that doesn’t exist yet
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Who else cleans as you cook we are the righteous ones and today we shine
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When your PI attempts to explain the details of your experiment
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In the Gonzales Lab when you get a paper accepted we will have a piñata that is plastered with the reviewer comments
why don't grow up parties have piñatas? we're all missing out
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Me: Oh yea I know someone from that university
My lab: do you KNOW them or do you just follow each other on twitter
Me: ᵗʷᶦᵗᵗᵉʳ
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Merry Christmas to everyone besides the reviewer who once asked me to do ephys recordings on a dead worm.
(but if that reviewer happens to be on twitter thank you for your comments this experiment further validated our initial results and strengthened our original claims)
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Me: I’ve accepted a position as a tenure track assistant professor!
Twitter: amazing! congrats! congratulations!
Facebook: assistant to who
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Merry Christmas only to the scientists on here who choose pipette tips from the box in an orderly and non-chaotic fashion
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“Postdoctoral students” did my mother in law write this headline
Postdoctoral students and academic researchers at the University of California said they will return to work on Monday after ratifying a new contract. But workers who help teach undergraduates and assign grades remain on strike.
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Science is hard. Grad school is hard. Postdocing is hard. PI life is hard (so I hear).
But y’all what a magical privilege it is to do science everyday. Sometimes I just need sit back and let it sink in.
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Sometimes, when experiments are going poorly, I just like to sit back and take a breath.
I look around the lab. Think about how far I’ve come and the science I get to do everyday.
And I remember that I could be getting paid way more in another job.
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“For the last time: I’m a postdoc. P o s t d o c t o r a l r e s e a r c h e r. I’m not a student. I don’t take classes. No, i don’t teach. I just show up and do research. No, I don’t get summers off. Yes…it’s a real job.”
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Me: science is about *people* and building *community*
Also me [when no one else is in the lab]: this is the greatest day ever
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My 7yo nephew: “Uncle Gonzo is a scientist....but he doesn’t even know what 45 times 45 is”
First of all little boy....weird flex but ok.
Second of all, please refer to me as Dr throughout the duration of this visit.
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I genuinely appreciate the plethora of “diversity” seminars and seminars that have the purpose of highlighting underrepresented scholars. I really do
But a reminder that we can also organize a regular ole seminar series....and invite Black and brown scientists as speakers
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Academia is like “this is a difficult problem to fix” and then still doesn’t hire Black faculty
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Yea I got made fun of a little bit when I was young bec I took academics so seriously but look who’s laughing now I was in school for 10 yr lol, have a PhD but am still considered a trainee LOL, have a temporary research position LOLOL, and might get a real job one day LOLOLOL
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Achievement unlocked: Talked to someone at my poster for a while. Great conversation. But no idea who they are were.
Turns out they’re a nobel prize winner
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Apparently my grandma has been telling people I’m a doctor and when they ask what kind she says brain surgeon
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Physicists try really hard to be the “smartest” type of scientist but please never forget that these are the same people who named a really big telescope the Very Large Telescope and a bigger telescope the Extremely Large Telescope
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“I got a PhD so I can always do dynamic, exciting research” ☺️😊
I say to myself as I move liquid from one spot to another spot. As I move liquid from one spot to another spot. As I move liquid from one spot to another spot. As I move liquid from one spot to another spot. As I
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Me: how do u spell fluoresense
My brain: your childhood home phone number is 3256598655
Me: ok but how do u spell flourescense
My brain: your old WiFi password is nqfxjs725t=+
Me: weird flex, how do u spell fluorecence
My brain: type something close then use autocorrect
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In neuroscience, we say “I love you” and someone else says “but how is love ENCODED in the brain” then someone else says “i think you mean to say ‘REPRESENTED’” then someone else says “love is a BEHAVIOR” then someone else says “but what is the CAUSAL driver of love” then...
In physics we don't say "I love you" we say "I think your solution makes sense” and I think that’s beautiful
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“I don’t need to label these samples I’ll remember what each one is tomorrow”
Apart from "life is short" what other lines do you use before making bad decisions?
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Just now seeing this undergrad’s email signature. How long has he been trolling me like this 😂
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Writing this paper and re-living all the experiments that went in to just *one* figure
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Can y’all actually pay attention to these 1 hr zoom talks or is everyone else just faking it like me
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Just watched my own recorded zoom talk. Do not recommend.
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I don’t always share memes but when I do it’s because they hurt my feelings
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Me in public: My model organism is clearly THE BEST model organism
Me in the lab: listen here you little punks you better cooperate today or there will be consequences
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5yo: dad how do brains talk to each other
Me: GOOD QUESTION. Maybe one day scientists will be able to put something in the brain, like the electrodes i make at work and....
5yo: I know how they talk to each other
Me: how?
5yo: with our mouths
Me: .....you’re going places kid
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Reminder that if you see me wearing the same clothes to zoom meetings two days in a row it costs zero dollars to mind your business
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Every match day I’m reminded how many times I said as a PhD student “I can’t imagine going through all of med school followed by EVEN MORE years to do a RESIDENCY”
And now I’m a postdoc
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“I hope this email finds you well.”
How this email finds me:
Nothing more emotionally confusing than a wet sloth
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As a physicist by training I know exactly one thing about the Krebs Cycle and it’s that all y’all do is complain about the Krebs Cycle
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Academic accomplishments during the shutdown
⚪️ read all those papers
⚪️ develop that model/theory
🔘 eat all the bread
🔘 maintain mental health
🔘 make a YouTube channel
🔘 hate zoom
🔘 day drink
🔘 make sure my parents are staying home
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Reviewers are like “I know a spot” and then take you to all the places in your manuscript where you should cite their work
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Start undergrad: omg I know nothing
Finish undergrad: I know all the science things
Start grad school: I’m literally the dumbest person here
5th year grad [in a room with only C. elegans]: I am not the smartest species in the room, but I do good work & that’s cool with me
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Me before: why are professors always so unprepared for their talks
Me now: oh.
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In-person science conference in 2022 but we have to leave laptops at home and the majority of the agenda is napping
In the evenings we sit around a campfire and talk about science
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“You don’t need to label these samples. You’ll remember what each one is tomorrow”
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Idk it feels like the trainees are doing a lot of the legwork maybe we should start requiring departments to write diversity statement TO US before we join
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I chose the uncertainty of a postdoc and the academic job market to achieve my true future dream: to have a calendar filled with meetings and a lab full of equipment that I barely know how to use
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“We are looking for postdocs with kids to give virtual talks offering parenting advice”
Lol I got nothing. Coffee in the morning, whiskey in the evening, and don’t look your kids in the eye they can sense fear
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People think we’re trying to advance knowledge and technology but in reality the system we’ve built has us all just trying to get the next paper out
and these are not equivalent
Please quote this tweet with your most controversial opinion about science.
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Every time pence says “we are going to follow the science” every scientist dies a little more inside
A resounding “this is a lie” from the scientific community
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Me: so you’re telling me all these med students FINISHED all that school and matched and have to do years of EVEN MORE training
Also me: is postdoc
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Departments be like we have two PoCs one person of color and one person of canada
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I almost dropped freshman physics when I made a 64 on the first exam
But no....I put my butt in gear....studied super hard for the next exam.....then made a 65 😂
I have a PhD in Applied Physics today bec of a series of fantastic mentors
i’m an astrophysicist figuring out when stars will explode, & i dropped my first college physics class because I was so lost and felt too stupid.
4 years later, I looked my teacher in the eye as I walked across the stage at graduation to give the commencement address. 💁🏽♀️
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Ok hear me out: lab coats that look and feel like hoodies
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First week of the semester isn’t even over and I already had to send my first angry email
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Physicists trying to be useful scientists right now are like “has anyone tried approximating something as a sphere”
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Kids these days usually mention something about SoundCloud here but I don’t know what that is
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So excited to officially announce that I am on the market for someone to build out a full lab space in my basement and also pay me a salary to do research in it
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