dexxegpt
@dexxe
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Following
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347,634
24 yo gambian pastor, instrumentalist, and churchtech entrepreneur. reprotestant ministries. building ai that gets you into heaven.
embu, gambia
Joined September 2008
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Pinned Tweet
Here's an updated list of
#KKPromises
Thank you to all who tag me. Feel free to be pile new promises under this tweet.
Let me know which ones need their status changed by commenting on the notion with evidence.
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you've heard of unpaid internship but have you heard of reverse financed internships?
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Safaricom doubled internet speeds to hide that their fibre internet is now LIMITED!!!
Scammers.
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per passo sharing
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I like Total over Shell because they tell me where I am. Silly, but I like that. Driving to random places confused over where I am cos people don't do postal address over buildings anymore, then there comes Total to the rescue.
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defund kikuyu landlords. hii ni shape gani surely. ati one bedroom. more like one bedr
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i thought this was a tweet about Kenya.
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this is sad. even sadder is the problem saying he's missing jobs cos of how he dressed. he's explained multiple times why he's like this but it feels better to make joblessness a personal responsibility thing rather than the systemic problem that it is.
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LinkedIn: someone checked out your profile.
me: who?
LinkedIn: DM for prices
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quality stuff, sold so expensive but the prisoners receive nothing. Modern slavery. which we are cool with cos we can only imagine one kind of prisoners. the extreme kind.
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vile mr beast amechomea gava mutaamka muskie no borehole drilling without letter from the office of prezo
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Dis you?
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is this how you decided to charge 20 bob for just checking balance?
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I got involved. Here is how much you will pay for Bank to MPesa in 2023 (taxes included).
Use the link more than the screenshot cos things might change.
someone create a comparison chart ya bank to mpesa charges for different banks or i will get involved.
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driver wa uber after seeing me struggling to find the seat lever.
dere: unataka iende mbele ama nyuma?
me: nyuma.
dere: imefika mwisho. vumilia tu. si ni we umeita chap chap.
five star.
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Sai before you get kids you ask yourself
'do i have the ability to support them financially until they are 35?'
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your husband is a child but also the head of the house.
schrönigga
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there's a YouTuber called Susan Wanjiku doing personal finance videos. She has gotten the lighting and sound right so ako right path ya kukula cpm za finance YouTube.
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a lot of people lose important items including documents including IDs and while majority of people who find them want to help, the best they can do is stick them on random windows/ matatus. my new start up PataPotea seeks to solve this.
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sharing this again cos whaaaat? how are people just casually this good at tiktok
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govt. where are the road markings.
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Normalize eating a whole pack farmer's choice sausages in one seating.
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"emmah with a H"
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the brief said ' uji wa lather mzuri' and the designer said, 'bet'
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baby girl did blow dry for the first time in like 2 years and i was shocked at how much it has grown. iko karibu kufika waist.
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I do not think I've ever recovered from this. No one could do Now I'm Mad better than Caleon cos no one bothered with the editing.
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so we decided to start yesterday. tell me why this girl woke me up at 6 am by whispering into my ear 'give me my money'
btw parent twitter, do y'all give your kiddos allowance?
if so since they were how old.
if not when are you starting?
never grew up with such a thing but i think i want to start
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they put this aloe vera gel in a leaf shaped bottle and gave the sticker spikey edges. product designer was not playing.
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I'm starting a competition between landlords to see who will give me a 3 bedroom for longest.
the winner will be tagged in all my socials and this will create a platform for them to be exposed and to find a lot of tenants.
#
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Nairobi is trending in US because
"After criticizing New York's legalizaton of recreational marijuana, Newsmax host Greg Kelly says he tried the drug once 'with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Nairobi, Kenya'"
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finally! now a man can be 100% sure that it's his kid that he is abandoning.
DNA tests will b conducted freely @ Government hospital n clinics as from June 2022..Ayeye!!!!!!
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my daughter just asked me if I had money and I accidentally said yes, then she asked for something worth 10 bob.
smh rookie.
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While your efforts have been commendable, it is essential for us to be mindful of resource allocation and ensure that we are not exceeding optimal levels of engagement.
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legit lost my glasses. had to steal my wife's contact lenses. and they said picking a partner solely based on matching eyesight powers was not prudent.
who is laughing visibly now?
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my startup Suka, helps match Kenyatta-market-trained braiders with abroad folk and arranges two way travels for either party to allow more affordable and better braids.
These braids for £1,000
As in KSH 181, 000 😳😳😳
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let's get uncursed 🕯️
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moko needs to pay this guy to make a pro moko tweet cos no matter how many ads i see moko try, this is what i think.
ama wachange tu jina pls.
Moko mattress nayo ukilalia lazima uwe na kiti karibu, unaamka upumzike.
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munafukuzwa muende majuu ndio tupee wazungu mashamba zenu watulie huku cos it's climate safe
“I am sure soon most of you will find your way to other countries to go and work there and take care of the world,” DP Gachagua to medics
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jesus himself would never convince me to test out this sensor like this.
Sensor sensitivity checking on a Hydraulic trimming machine. 😮👉🏼⚠️
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They will do the report and claim the reasons are personal but I promise you, a huge chunk of our mental illnesses are caused by our failing systems.
COVID-19 is creating another pandemic - Mental illness 💔💔
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the generation that got free chicken in university are calling us ENTITLED for wanting basic government services
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A car blog but for regular schmegular Kenyan cars.
'Top ten tips to take your 2008 Toyota Passo looking and working like a 2010 Toyota Passo'
'Here's why you may need to replace your 2004 Honda Fit engine'
'Is 980K too much for a 2013 Toyota Vitz? Yes.'
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the most trusted brand is now using ai art on there books.
woi. kartasi
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hear me out. go. ke should keep this aesthetic cos it's so bad it's actually good. cos it represents govt workers perfectly.
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has anyone looked into whether excel can cure covid cos heh.
everyday i discover new things it can do.
How to create maps using Excel 2019/Office 365 geography tool
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hope this goes viral so that we experience the hurriedly-put-together dumpster fire of a response from magical Kenya.
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Normalize boys doing home shopping for when they visit their boys.
So kila saa pombe ya base. Saa zingine fika kwa mboys na at least mkate na maziwa
OR sabuni or Unga.
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tulienda kuona mwalimu kuskia progress ya kaschana tukapata ni kama alianza podcast kule shule ndio maana hakui number 1.
imagine tumefika hivi mwalimu akiwa ameuliza 'how is guka? i hear he takes a lot of medicine.'
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experts are like "why are these niggas not dying man"
The coronavirus is spreading fast beyond its China birthplace but sub-Saharan Africa, one of the world's most vulnerable regions, has so far been almost spared -- and experts want to know why
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MPESA defo draining the poor.
withdrawing 101 bob costs 27 bob (26%) while withdrawing 70,000 costs 330 (0.4%)
transferring 101 bob costs 11 (11%)bob while transferring 70,000 bob costs 110 (0.2%)
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i dunno if there's such a thing like overadvertisement but glovo and bolt are doing it. now i hate them
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hehehe. pesalink on loop is a fixed 48 bob no matter amount. tuhameni mpesa. let's normalize sending money directly to people's accounts.
Sending Kshs 999,999 via PesaLink on KCB is cheaper than sending 70K on MPESA. Insanity (240 bob vs 300 bob)
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niliwafunza kununua tv nifunzeni kununua sound bar. what should i look for. I'm confused af
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wow. the minute i get a real job, I am fixing these horse teeth of mine.
hii yote ni kama ngapi? naipea budget ya like 250K. adult with braces, is that fair
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First it was expiring bonga points and now post pay minutes are expiring. All this while Safaricom is worse than ever. Safaricom done fell off hard and i gotta find a replacement soon cos shit about to get worser.
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munaona ni kama itatokea in the next few hours ama hii tumark tu 'failed'?
CS Eliud Owalo: The $40 phones will be in the market by next month (September).
#AMLiveNTV
@zeynabIsmail
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someone create a comparison chart ya bank to mpesa charges for different banks or i will get involved.
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imagine paying 12K for 100mbps platinum to get only 1TB.
you reach the data cap in one day my dudes. haha. how is this legal bana? fuck!
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