David Ruff
@dcarterruff
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Washed Media. Duncanville ✈ Austin. Lawyer-podcast guy. @circlingbackpod dave @washedmedia .com
Austin, TX
Joined March 2009
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Imagine looking into the crowd and he’s looking at you like this
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At the 200 dollar hotel party waiting 30 min for a drink and talking to zero chicks
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Bottle night
How Rickie Fowler leaned on wife Allison Stokke during golf slump
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No place for this in power slapping. Right move
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Me and the boys patiently waiting for the twin peaks hostess to seat us
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Went to Popeyes and the line was insane then drove by Chick-fil-A and literally no one was there. Pretty telling
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Leaving his internship at the capitol and on the way to make pledges eat a log of Copenhagen
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at some point mcconaughey will stop looking like he just left the delt house
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It’s officially let’s talk about playing 9 after work since we have daylight but rarely (if ever) doing it szn
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I understand that this leads to him jumping through the tv one day but it’s really fun to watch
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I have zero clout on nextdoor. I found a golden retriever and did the post like everyone who finds a dog does and got two likes. Meanwhile some asswipe peddling his kids terrible art is doing numbers
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Found a pic of the dude I got paired up with at lions a few years ago. He told me to embrace my pimpness, drank roughly 14 lone star lights, and shot the most casual 74. I hope he’s doing well
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Me pitching a spiked seltzer infused chicken sandwich to investors
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We didn’t give out a lot of bids this semester but we like the dudes we got
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There’s only one person I want interviewing Phil in this moment
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This dude made me bring him food at 3 am and didn’t even sign my pledge book
this is Alabama's defensive coordinator Pete Golding
appreciate him for his beauty and style
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My dad wanted me to read this article about ranch waters so he just printed it out and handed it to me
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Always share confidential communications from your lawyer on Twitter. Day one stuff
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My three-year-old overheard me telling my wife that the election was over and asked “father does this mean we’ll be rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement?” Kids bruh
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2 pm. Wife hasn’t seen me in hours. Needs help raising our child. Opens door to garage.
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This is how I will be arriving at brunch today. I hope other players do the same, and if not, kick them off the tour
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This country is so divided right now
Insane Clown Posse’s Shaggy rushed the stage and attempted to dropkick Fred Durst during Limp Bizkit's concert in New Jersey last night:
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Keith Mitchell looks like the fifth year guy you never see until the last week of pledgeship and then he makes you tear down a load-bearing wall in the house his parents bought him
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Her: come over
Me: I can’t, I’m smoking these meats
Her: I have sweet baby rays award winning bbq sauce
Me:
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Talking to the cops who showed up because there was a noise complaint while the pledges are in the basement being water boarded
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When your parents bust you and the boys smoking weed out of a coke can
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smokin these meats
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Headed to my secret bathroom in some random company’s wing of the building
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Every time I purchase steaks from costco an employee will look into my cart and compliment the meat. Nice cut, you’ll enjoy those. Fuck yeah Howard
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She’s a 10 but she requires shredded cheese as it’s the only way she can eat fajitas
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Never understood “buying the dip.” I buy when I see the stock at a high point because I believe in it. I sell the dip because I don’t have losers in my portfolio
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Let Dillon watch randy for one weekend and this happened
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Ugh my 5 year old niece just recited bin laden’s letter to America in front of the family 🤦♂️
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Scheffler’s adversity is that he got into the Mccombs school of business and is 6’3 lmao
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Anybody giving Conor shit for that throw has never thrown a deep ball in a custom tailored jacket lol
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I never had a coach humiliate me during a game but I did have one tell me he’d put me on the A team if I hooked him up with my college-aged sister which I feel was in poor taste
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Can’t wait to see what wild shit Phil starts adding to his coffee
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Fellow bourbon guys- what’s better to mix Blantons with, Coca-Cola (bottled) or Pepsi
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Me showing up to meet the boys for one beer after telling them I’m staying in
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Been eating breakfast tacos a long time and have never seen salsa provided like this
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I’ll tell my kids about the day Tony called the perfect game
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If he made it out with all five cases you cannot prosecute this man
(Illegal) beer run! Arlington police are searching for this guy who managed to grab five cases 😯 of beer from a convenience store and flee the scene.
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Me Tanner and Knox will also be deleting anheuser-busch products all weekend at my dad’s lake house
I will be deleting all Anheuser-Busch products from my tour hospitality rider. I know many other artists who are doing the same.
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You send me that push-up challenge shit I’m gonna do 50 and straight up embarrass you in front of Instagram
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So apparently you can’t buy GameStop stock at the actual store ?
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Dad: I picked up 8 bottles of wine, a large bottle of woodford, and the deep eddy you like
Me: I will have exactly one beer
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He’s fine just a little bummed/confused about the whole 13 seed thing
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Our lactation consultant told us about her grandson who was attacked by a peacock and subsequently healed by breast milk
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