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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡

@dawsferatu

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Fiction Editor at APOCALYPSE CONFIDENTIAL @APCON_MAG | Proud InGen employee | Professional

https://t.co/S1Rorv6llq
Ohio / Oregon
Joined April 2018
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
DAWSON ALEXANDER WOHLER'S SELECTED FICTION AND ESSAYS, 2019 - PRESENT
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@dawsferatu
5 years
so what if... i hanged myself in my cell despite being under near constant surveillance and having no means to do so... ...unless?
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@dawsferatu
3 years
All my professors went to prestigious universities, studied abroad, have books out, and now teach at a no-name university in the middle of a fucking corn field lmao
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@dawsferatu
4 years
Replace cops with predatory megafauna
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Foucault, whatever his other flaws may have been, was right about these motherfuckers
@yungkitty404
yung zoΓ«
@yungkitty404
4 years
POV: You are forcibly brought to Gulag Therapy. This is your psychiatrist.
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
Inside you there are two wolves
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
You did theater in high school? Wow. I had absolutely no idea. You were a drama kid? No, I wouldn’t have guessed
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@dawsferatu
1 year
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@dawsferatu
1 year
You know a movie’s gonna bang when this guy shows up
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
You’d think the Rust Belt and Midwest would each have a rich tradition of cyberpunk fiction, what with all the synthetic drugs, petty crime, failing industries, genetically modified foodstuffs, and predatory multinational corporations, but instead all we have is Looperβ€”kind of
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
The masculine urge to renounce all human contact and write a multi volume science fiction epic that synthesizes and elucidates every idea you’ve ever had
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Slaves built the Bass Pro pyramid
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
I should call her πŸ˜”
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
And are β€œIsrael” and β€œPalestine” in the room with us right now?
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@dawsferatu
3 years
A lone Dollar General standing in the middle of a corn field is more authentically cyberpunk than 1,000 neon drenched city streets and you know it
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@dawsferatu
1 year
@kindlyone92 They take two sips and leave the rest to melt in their boyfriends’ cars
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@dawsferatu
5 years
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@dawsferatu
1 year
Autofiction should be about the time you survived a shipwreck or went on safari, not how you get scared ordering the McDouble
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
Learning somebody you thought you knew skips the Cetology chapters in Moby-Dick is worse than finding out they get their rocks off torturing squirrels at the park
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
7 months
Asking drunks at the bar if they’ve heard any rumors lately
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@dawsferatu
3 years
Babe, I’m the co-editor of a niche online lit mag… dinner’s on you tonight
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
You have ADHD, anxiety, and depression? Wow. I had no idea. You’re telling me this for the first time. Wow. I really had no idea. Well, you’re a wonderful woman, regardless
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@dawsferatu
4 years
Hunter S. Thompson ruined a generation of writers by convincing them you could write on mescaline lmfao
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@dawsferatu
5 months
The Infinite Jestification of Blood Meridian
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
Once your prefrontal cortex solidifies you’re stuck with the same seven ideas you had before age 25 forever, so you better get all your thinking in now before it’s too late
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Dude looks like one of the animatronic presidents from Disney World
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
I look like they’re about to print all three of my names in the paper
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@dawsferatu
3 years
CAM ON INGERLAND! SCORE SAM FACKIN GOALS!
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@dawsferatu
6 months
If you were an 80s detective what would be your whip and gat?
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@Geo_Liminal
Eric Williams
@Geo_Liminal
6 months
if you were an 80s detective what would be your whip and gat?
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
I’ll never understand why writers are so loath to self promote. If you believed in something enough to see it through to completion, you ought to believe in it enough to put it in front of people. Shilling is half the fun of writing
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@dawsferatu
10 months
@mia11112233 I’m going to show up at your house
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@dawsferatu
4 months
@CarterNixon
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@dawsferatu
3 years
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
Big things coming soon
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
🚨BREAKING🚨: I’m 21
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
8 months
We did it, Reddit!
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@dawsferatu
5 months
*24
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
β€œHey, my big booty ass tit princess. I need you to find everyone who has ever seen a dog. Cross check those results against people who like the color greenβ€”that’s our killer.”
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Cormac McCarthy wrote genre fiction without apostrophes and lit critics everywhere creamed their pants
3
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
Nobody: Your unemployed friend on a Thursday afternoon:
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
Palahniuk claims to have been inspired to write Fight Club after he came into his office job with a black eye that none of his coworkers made any comment about. He chalked this up to them being atomized by capitalism, but maybe they just thought he was an ass who had it coming
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
David Cronenberg’s Animorphs
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
Become unbearable
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
Dostoyevsky fans be like β€œBro, I promise it gets good, like, two hundred pages in, bro, I swear you j-just have to keep reading it gets good, bro, like, it’s a c-classic of Russian literature, bro, please, just keep reading, bro, you’ll get so much out of it, please”
9
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Writers write because it’s illegal to torture real people
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
How fuckin horny you gotta be to draw this?
2
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
Do we really need to reinvent literature or do you just need to get better at writing?
5
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
8 months
Books used to have covers
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
They’ve got me working security at SUB ROSA Buy a ticket, pay my bills
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
Why does this guy look like Norm Macdonald?
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
You need to be spooky maxing. You need to be telling ghost stories around the campfire and creeping through graveyards after dark. Ghouls, goblins… it’s gotta be a monster mash
1
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
β€œWait, so JFK was actually killedβ€”sorry, 𝘸𝘩𝘒𝘀𝘬𝘦π˜₯β€”by an underground coalition of mobsters, CIA agents, and right wing mercenaries and not by Lee Harvey Oswald? Wow, babe, that’s crazy. You’re so smart. Anyway, can we go back to your place after I eat these lemon slices?”
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
It’s official, old buddy. I’m twenty.
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
I already can’t get pussy, and you’re telling me I should read Infinite Jest? Fuck outta here πŸ˜‚πŸ”₯πŸ’―
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
The Department of Defense has done more for the arts than any β€œlit mag”
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
(Re)watching (with a girl lol later virgins):
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
30 years from now, Penguin will put out an β€œOutsider Voices: Twitter Literature in the 2020s” anthology and none of us will be in it
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
All the cool kids are doing it
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
There’s so much fucking garbage on Netflix
3
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
Girl books are called things like, β€œAll the Turtles the Light Cannot Reach on the Train” and boy books are called things like, β€œAmerican Gothic Blues”
3
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
5 years
I think I could pull off David Koresh glasses ngl
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
I’m a man of my word πŸ₯‚
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
After class, I’m gonna go to the salon and ask them to cut what I have into a mullet
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
I gave up drinking so I could focus on being depressed
1
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
I’m literally a card carrying member of @APCON_MAG
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 months
If you have a favorite philosopher something has gone horribly wrong in your life
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
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@LeadingReport
Leading Report
@LeadingReport
1 year
BREAKING: Robert F. Kennedy Jr. says the CIA rigs elections and assassinates leaders who refuse to comply with their agenda.
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
Time is a flat circle
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π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Do you guys actually read more than one book at once?
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
Reading your tweets
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Dear Slim, I wrote you but still ain't callin'
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
Writers ask me for advice all the time, so here it is: Buy a gun because I’m coming to get you
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
QT you and who would play you in a movie.
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
If I buy a pack of cigarettes for the table, will everybody smoke some?
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
I… am 22 today
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
I fucked up my build (got an English degree)
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
I suspect about 75% of you are insufferable to be around irl
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
I got the job
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
5 years
That 4/10 e-girl? You know, the one I’ve been Venmoing hundreds of dollars to? Turns out she has a boyfriend
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
Saying John Milius is your favorite screenwriter is just saying you like movies
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
Bolo tie acquired
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
I need a bolo tie
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
It’d be really cool if pregnant women had an Oven Light style switch you could flick on to see the baby
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
7 months
I watched Gummo and Blue Velvet for the first time today and they were both so incredibly my shit I think people have probably thought I’ve been emulating characters from them for the last three years
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Why go to college when you can misread the canon for free on your own?
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
He’s having a panic attack
@thatsgoodweb
𝔻𝕖𝕖𝕑 𝕋𝕙𝕠π•₯
@thatsgoodweb
1 year
Gustave Dore, Puss in Boots, 1867
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
How’s that for a mail day?
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
I want to read some masculine fiction. Stories that really throb and glisten. Stories with a pronounced dick vein. Think you got what it takes? Huh? Are you gonna give it to me? Give it to me hard or don’t even bother, man
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
9 months
I don’t sleep with women
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@TateNews_
Tate News
@TateNews_
9 months
I don’t sleep with vaccinated women
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
I leave for one fucking week, man
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
I got the job
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
I started reading The Satanic Bible expecting to find in depth instructions on how to open a portal to Hell or whatever, but instead it’s just page after page of shit like β€œAre you 𝔱𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔒𝔑 enough to cut toxic people out of your life?” and β€œBuddhism is the real Satanism πŸ˜β€
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
TOOL sounds so good when you ain’t got a teenage stoner in your ear tellin you it’s deep
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
This is what America’s all about
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
Publishing a book is a form of psychic warfare on your friends and family, all of whom will have to pretend it’s good regardless of its actual quality
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
Y’all act like you ain’t never seen a pudgy white dude sitting by the lake sipping tea before
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
2 years
Eighty books in two years... I should’ve been having sex instead
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
Does anyone still cook Roast, potatoes, onions, and carrots anymore?
@Perez_Writes
Alex Perez
@Perez_Writes
1 year
Do people still read the big orange Cheever book of short stories? Some good stuff in there.
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
5 months
It’s tough being a type of guy
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
1 year
Absolutely surreal to walk into a bar and see people wearing @APCON_MAG merch
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
3 years
Did you hear that? That was the sound of the glass ceiling shattering, because this white boy just got his bachelor’s degree in English and sociology πŸ”₯πŸ₯‚πŸ’…
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
4 years
It’s March 18th, you mick bastards
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@dawsferatu
π•―π–†π–œπ–˜π–‹π–Šπ–—π–†π–™π–šπŸ¦‡
@dawsferatu
6 months
For the low low price of $59.99, you too can dress like a member of the Intellectual Dark Web
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