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David Hill Profile
David Hill

@davehill77

Followers
11K
Following
72K
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Statuses
48K

Writer of books and other things. Player of games. New York by way of Arkansas.

Joined April 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@davehill77
David Hill
6 months
I spent most of 2024 traveling around the U.S. and Central America hanging out with gamblers, bookies, politicians, even CEOs and casino bosses, trying to learn about sports betting from every perspective. I wrote 10,000 words about it for Rolling Stone.
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
This guy on TikTok has been trying to get a hummingbird to land on his hand for two weeks now and he’s tried all kinds of stuff like pouring sugar all over his body but his latest idea has completely sent me
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@davehill77
David Hill
8 months
Entertained some out of town guests last night. At dinner they told us they refused to take the subway because it was too dangerous. My 9 year old said "What? You mean like if you ride on top?".
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
This is incredible. A Wisconsin bar offered free drinks if the Jets lost. After Rodgers went down, they started running up their tabs. The news was live when the jets won in overtime and everyone realized they had to pay.
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@davehill77
David Hill
7 years
First they came for Roseanne, and I said nothing, because Roseanne sucks. Then they came for Bill Maher, and I said nothing, because Bill Maher also sucks.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
Stayed up last night trying to finish my bathroom floor. Watched a YouTube tutorial in desperation. In the middle of the YouTube the woman gets out her phone and watches a YouTube tutorial.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
My daughter went to a sleepover and told the parents she was a vegetarian and the dad told her they have to kill more animals to make tofu than they do for beef. She asked him how tofu was made and he didn’t know.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
My mentions whenever I talk shit about Dave Portnoy
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@davehill77
David Hill
8 months
They explained it was because of crime on the subway and he just laughed. "The train is fun." I didn't feel the need to say anything else. They had been effectively owned.
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@davehill77
David Hill
1 year
My wife up early this morning to start day three of preparations to host her enormous catholic family at our house for Christmas Eve
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
The guy who found 160 bowling balls buried in his yard really seems like the right guy to have found 160 bowling balls buried in his yard
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
People with glasses: why don’t you wear contacts?.
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
“The media never even asked for my side of the story”
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
A guilty verdict doesn’t mean the justice system works it means protest works.
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@davehill77
David Hill
3 years
When Paramount forced Eddie Murphy to put a single white person in Coming to America, he chose Louie Anderson.
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@davehill77
David Hill
8 years
@LauraLoomer you are the dumbest human on planet earth.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
@CollinRugg Collin this is quite possibly the stupidest thing ever posted on twitter dot com congratulations.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 months
UAW president Shawn Fain on NPR today defended the auto tariffs by saying, in part, that “half of Americans don’t even have stock” and “sixty percent of Americans have no retirement savings.” I wonder if he realizes that 100% of UAW members have both, in UAW pension plans.
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@davehill77
David Hill
7 years
There is power in a union
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
I feel very comforted by the responses to this tweet. I’ve always wondered if I’m just being a baby about sticking things in my eyes but if I am at least I’m not alone.
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@davehill77
David Hill
8 years
It's important in times like these to remember all the good things that civilians do with machine guns every day.
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
Love a good excuse to remind people what Bernie’s lake house looks like
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
@BrandonDoughan The anti vegetarians always go after tofu for some reason.
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@davehill77
David Hill
10 years
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
Andrew Yang explains why he doesn’t actually live in New York with “can you imagine actually living in New York?”.
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@davehill77
David Hill
8 years
My go-to dad joke is to always call Pokémon Pokey-Man. I'll never stop. I'll never apologize.
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@davehill77
David Hill
9 years
The fact that you shoot things you don't agree with is kinda why someone needs to take your guns
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
That’s because we didn’t slaughter millions of Bennigan’s bartenders.
@MattWalshBlog
Matt Walsh
4 years
I have never heard anyone ever complain about the Boston Celtics and their stereotypical mascot. If "Cleveland Indian" is offensive than so is this. But this isn't offensive to anyone with a brain and a shred of emotional maturity, and neither is Cleveland Indian.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
This is the most Michael Scott thing I’ve ever heard.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
It was at this point I abandoned hope.
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@davehill77
David Hill
9 months
I hate how Joe Biden always says “guess what” but then doesn’t even pause long enough for me to guess.
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
Today my 4yo went outside with a butter knife and scratched the entire drivers side of the car. When I saw it he said “does this make you curious or does this make you mad?” . What kind of The Omen bullshit is this.
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@davehill77
David Hill
3 years
One of the many sad things about Desus and Mero splitting up is they used to joke about how when they got rich and famous they’d have a falling out and split up and that shit came true.
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@davehill77
David Hill
1 year
Columbia announcing the Pulitzer Prizes today while not letting their own student journalists in.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
The NYT nuked the sports desk but they run shit like this on the opinion page. Who is the audience for this
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@davehill77
David Hill
9 years
We have over 40 bats in our attic. We paid a company $800 to get rid of them. The guy is up there now swatting them out with his hands.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
My ex wife has stopped sleeping with me. Does she hate sex?.
@elonmusk
Elon Musk
2 years
Apple has mostly stopped advertising on Twitter. Do they hate free speech in America?.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
Beautiful to see nyc returning to normal
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
I’m betting $1,000 on the GOP holding the senate as a hedge. If they do, I win $1,000. If they don’t, I lose $1,000 and get a $2,000 stimulus check. That’s what we call +EV.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
I’m updating my Xmas card list and need people to dm me their assassination coordinates if they’ve changed since last year.
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
@CillizzaCNN Eat shit nerd.
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@davehill77
David Hill
11 months
@jordanbpeterson “Mommy, I don’t want to go watch movies at grandpas anymore. He gets too mad.”.
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
I went to Atlantic City with a backpack filled with $150,000 in cash. I came back with this 10,000 word story.
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@davehill77
David Hill
3 years
Great to see democrats and republicans in the senate working together.
@CraigCaplan
Craig Caplan
3 years
6-87: Senate rejected Sanders (I-VT) motion to instruct their negotiators with the House that semiconductor manufacturing companies receiving federal aid in the science and tech research funding bill don't block their employees from unionizing and outsource their jobs.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
@missmayn Did you know about the rides.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
When I tweeted that The NY Times should endorse BOFA this is not what I meant.
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
When I was a teenager the police raided my house in the middle of the night at gunpoint looking for an armed robbery suspect. They didn’t find him and my mom screamed at the cops for scaring her kids. He was in my closet the whole time. I gave him clean clothes in the morning.
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
@vornietom @taylordotbiz @kickstarter It's illegal but the penalty, IF you can prove it, is that they have to give you your job back. And it could take literally years to work its way through the NLRB before there is a decision. This is why it happens so often. There's little downside to the company.
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@davehill77
David Hill
1 year
Me and the kids
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
I literally stood up at the end
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
@sethweathers Why would a beer use the bathroom.
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
@vornietom @taylordotbiz @kickstarter The best way for fired union leaders to get their jobs back is for the union to win and their coworkers to demand they be hired back - which works far more often and faster than using the useless and toothless labor laws that are supposed to protect us.
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David Hill
4 years
My kids school accidentally left a kid out of the fifth grade yearbook so they gave the kids stickers of that kid and told them to stick them over another kid who left the school before the end of the year.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
@JoshuaPHilll Just walked in on my kid googling hitler. He says it's for class but I think he's lying.
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@davehill77
David Hill
1 year
@penguins
Pittsburgh Penguins
1 year
The Penguins announced today that the shipment carrying the Jagr bobbleheads for tonight’s game has been stolen en route to Pittsburgh. As a result, the bobbleheads will not be distributed at tonight’s game, but will be distributed at a later date.
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@davehill77
David Hill
3 years
Sorry, Republicans. The litterboxes stay.
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@davehill77
David Hill
7 years
@Vannaboy2189 @stephenganthony @WCWWorldwide @nobody_stop_me @DudleyandBob you'll pay for my healthcare and you'll love it.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
And we: always and everywhere spectators,.turned not toward the Open.but to the stuff of our lives. It downs us. We set it in order. It falls apart. We order it again.and fall apart ourselves.
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
Only 8,000 people voted for Mayor Pete in his last election.
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 months
A Christmas story in two parts
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
Seems appropriate that this game about constant tedious and mindless work in service of climbing out of immense financial debt is now also about electoral politics.
@kellymakena
Makena Kelly
5 years
SCOOP: The Biden-Harris campaign is rolling out official yard signs for Animal Crossing: New Horizons today. It's part of the campaign's broader initiative to meet voters where they are online.
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@davehill77
David Hill
7 years
Oh my god the truck fires are going to be amazing.
@IndivisibleNet
Indivisible Network 🇺🇦
7 years
BREAKING NEWS: @Ford says it stands by NFL players. They believe players have a right to protest and that this right should be respected.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
@oneunderscore__ Concerning.
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
I'm convinced there is a mole in the Buttigieg campaign trying to destroy it from the inside.
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@davehill77
David Hill
3 years
@bethbourdon put her ass back in the cabinet has me on the floor.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
Some context for this bit: when Letterman went to CBS he had a deal that granted him ownership of his show. While Leno was an NBC employee, Letterman paid his writers himself. He agreed to the union's proposals and they stayed on while everyone else was struck.
@Todd_Spence
Todd Spence
2 years
During the WGA Strike of '07/'08, David Letterman did a bit on the AMPTP. As relevant now as it was then.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
When The Ringer asked me to write about GameStop, I went looking for someone to profile who wasn't from WallStreetBets, someone who was in early, someone like the Brownfield guys from The Big Short. I found @MWM76. And his story blew me away.
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@davehill77
David Hill
8 years
@uglemunn @shutupmikeginn @eivindtraedal Do you work for the torch company.
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@davehill77
David Hill
3 years
The problem isn’t teens on TikTok the problem is parents on Facebook and I’ll die on this hill.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 months
This is not the kind of thing I’d want to hear from my union president right now, let alone my actual president. The UAW has over a billion dollars in the bank and it isn’t just sitting in cash.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
Here's MF Doom when he was 19 years old testifying to the US Senate in defense of the National Voter Registration Act
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
@GraceGThomas I thought at first the math couldn't possibly be right but I ran the numbers myself and got the exact same answer so it checks out.
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
@AndrewDLewis It’s shameful enough to cross the picket line but to brag about it seems particularly cruel and gross. Not sure who you’re hoping to impress with this.
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@davehill77
David Hill
9 years
I love that Trump gave Cruz $5,000 and Rubio sent him a book to beg for money. These guys are all such slobs. They deserve each other.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
Nobody has ever been as good at their job as the person who wrote the unsolved mysteries theme song.
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@davehill77
David Hill
7 years
@BenSasse the difference between America and most nations across history is we get to make up whatever happy horseshit we want to believe about our past.
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
Congratulations to all the people who took a proud and principled stand against guaranteeing health care as a right to all citizens because it would cost too much money. The future is yours. Go forth and prosper.
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
Bret Stephens is doing that whole “bet you won’t say it to my face” thing but if anyone did say it to his face he’d write a column about the left using violence to intimidate him or whatever.
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
Here’s Bloomberg’s house in the hamptons
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
Congratulations to the Phoenix Suns
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
I’m catching up on Mare of Easttown and I’m pleased to see they are continuing the long proud tradition of tv shows depicting small towns with several media outlets and large press conferences for local news.
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@davehill77
David Hill
1 month
Coheed and Cambria getting the key to the city today in Nyack, NY today
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@davehill77
David Hill
2 years
Nothing but respect for my president.
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@davehill77
David Hill
1 year
My brother in law who thinks he’s funny
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@davehill77
David Hill
9 years
So comforting to know there are 50 pissed off homeless bats flying around my neighborhood rn.
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@davehill77
David Hill
8 years
If only we had another day for them but what would we even call it
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@davehill77
David Hill
5 years
Jason Rapert preaching about not being a “slave to fear” during a maskless service in arkansas weeks ago. Today he’s in the hospital with COVID-19 and pneumonia.
@ARCOVIdiots
Arkansans Against SHS
5 years
Maskless State Senator @jasonrapert joined to preach hyper partisan nonsense. 🤦‍♂️ #ARCOVIdiot #ARCOVIDFail. FULL VIDEO:
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@davehill77
David Hill
11 years
@realDonaldTrump run for mayor of Atlantic City.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
@atdanwhite You really need to wait two weeks first.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
@micsolana Coal mine owners didn’t think those miners were exploited and were pretty lucky to have their jobs too.
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
I wrote about “5dimes Tony” aka Sean Creighton, a West Virginian who went to Costa Rica and became a major international bookmaker. Last year he was kidnapped and hasn’t been seen since.
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@davehill77
David Hill
1 year
Old Las Vegas newspapers called locals "Vegans" and every time I run across headlines like this I can't help but do a double take
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
Sell the team.
@nyknicks
NEW YORK KNICKS
4 years
Tell us you're a Knick fan without telling us you're a Knick fan.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
They are playing “business” and I think it’s a job interview. She asked him “what is your biggest weakness” and he said “being tickled”
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@davehill77
David Hill
6 years
@benshapiro we don't follow you for sports please stick to racism.
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@davehill77
David Hill
4 years
@O3jfrye @notgaetti @BobFile @twuench @RickWrona @GDBJr5 I think you may have posted the wrong video because this is a video of someone celebrating a home run.
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@davehill77
David Hill
9 years
When I retweet myself
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@davehill77
David Hill
3 years
My 5yo got in trouble for saying "deez nuts" to kids on the bus today and Katie is currently downstairs explaining to him what deez nuts means. "deez like these." ."these testicles?" ."Yes. These testicles. It isn't very funny, is it?" ."It's kinda funny.".
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