I don’t like my landlord and then she raised my rent today by $69 and I’m like wait, she funny

Excited to leave my work screen so I can turn on and watch my big screen while I scroll on my little screen

I don’t know how we expect men to stop taking credit for our work when we literally grow a human being for a year and are then like “let’s put your name on it”

Call me a boomer but how does one get to “threads”

Spending $100 a day keeps the depression away

Does Prince Harry have a last name? Or is it Harry?

I’m so hot from being gaslit this year

Job interviews are so sensitive they’re like “why do you want this job” and it’s rude to be like “money”

People always be like “how are you?” It’s like dude don’t put that on me

Do men know what skinny jeans are ?

Good, fine and denial, you?

There comes a time in one’s life to decide if they should work forever or sell pictures of their feet on the internet to Kevins

Dems be like “would love to stop mass shootings. If not, no worries”

Call me stupid but what exactly is a law?

If I didn’t have access to abortion as a teenager there’d be a third grader named Hermione.

let’s model work after school where we usually get out at 3 and on Thursdays we get out at 1 and every day there’s a chance your boss could get shot

Ladies, I challenge us to make a plan in under 10 texts

The Friday Mailbag Questions / Rankings Thread Begins NOW >>>>GO<<<< 🎙️@talkhoops 🎙️@Jade_Hoye 🎙️@pikachuliu 🎙️@Mariannoo 🎙️@dar_finkle If you want to be a guest, DM @CornPuzzle

Guns are banned at Trump’s NRA convention speech Friday which won’t do anything cause banning guns won’t stop violence so more people with guns should go to protect Trump from people that might have guns that shouldn’t cause they have mental illness we don’t screen for. Right?

Republican senators right now: Fuck People, Marry Guns, Kill Kids